Artemis Fowl is finally getting made into a movie in 2019. What does Sup Forums think of this?

Artemis Fowl is finally getting made into a movie in 2019. What does Sup Forums think of this?

Post here in 2019 and find out

Sure it is. This is the guy who shit all over Hitch-hiker's Guide for no fucking reason, right? Yeah, this isn't happening, and if it is, fuck him.

read it once a long time ago. I forgot everything he's like autistic super genius who has an elf friend or something

It'll be shit. Movies are shit.

I read this book when the first Harry Potter books were the shit and I honestly can't remember a single thing. Felt like a knock-off.

I read this book but I can't remember anything about it.
HDM was always the best book series for teenagers anyway. I hope they don't fuck up the TV show like they did the movie.

The first one was awesome and would be true fantasykino, but the other books are terrible (as soon as they start making Artemis into a good guy the series loses all appeal)

I loved that series as a kid, so does my daughter, and sometimes I honestly just sit and read through her copies. They're comfy books. Having a very superstitious grandmother from the Welsh valleys, I was raised on old myths about fairies and the like, so special forces fairies packing laser guns and jet packs make me smile.

But I have zero faith in any adaptation. They'd probably make Holly a nigger, Artemis some minority "Irish", and hamfist in some identity politics.

The only thing I remember is the dwarf who digs through dirt by eating it really quickly and shitting it out the second after he eats it.

well this is at least 10 years late

the true patrician's young adult series

just kidding it's actually the bartimaeus trilogy

I wonder how well the dwarf that shits out soil will translate to the movie medium.

Also, I hope the child actor for Artemis is good or else Artemis will just come across as autistic and weird.

I always imagined him to look like Hogwart from Labyrinth.

Nope, should've made it when Asa Butterfeld was still a shota 11 year old.

You're aware that every adaptation of the original BBC radio show (yes, that came first) diverts around the time they get to Magrathea, right? Even the vinyl records featuring the same cast does this. Douglas Adams himself wanted it this way. If anything, people now only watching the movie and reading the first book at maximum is wrong.

>I loved that series as a kid, so does my daughter, and sometimes I honestly just sit and read through her copies. They're comfy books. Having a very superstitious grandmother from the Welsh valleys, I was raised on old myths about fairies and the like, so special forces fairies packing laser guns and jet packs make me smile.
Haha, what a wonderful post! Hope you don't add an extra paragraph which completely ruins it in meta fashion similar to the predicament you're about to describe!

>yes, that came first
Insufferable fucking shit. Who are you to lecture me? Who the fuck do you think you are?!

>every adaptation of the original BBC radio show (yes, that came first) diverts around the time they get to Magrathea, right
I actually didn't know that. I've only read the book and when the movie was announced I figured it could never be turned into a good movie so I never saw it.

If they don't make Holly cute and hot then I won't go and see it.

you guys ready for BAZINGA-kino?

Cheers

Artemis is autistic and weird. You're right about needing a really good actor to play him, though. There needs to be a perfect type of autism and presence.

Knock off of what? It's a pretty original work and is an example of the relatively rare science-fantasy genre.

Oh great, another book to give a shit movie adaptation to

She's dtf

>The Artemis/Holly romance

This series will bring /ss/ to the mainstream

Nobody tell him that Holly explicitly has but brown skin

I was like 11 when I read it and at the time it was heavily marketed as a fantasy book for preteens because of the success of Harry Potter. It felt like a crappier Harry Potter to me, though now I can admit that the similarities were probably not very extensive. But at the time being a fantasy book with a young male protagonist was enough to give that impression.

what does dtf stand for?

There's a difference between brown skin and being a nigger, user

down to frisbee

it's gonna be shit and it would always have been shit. the appeal of this series is the 11 year old readers imagining themselves as the arrogant and witty super genius kid. as a movie it'll just be mindless action scenes combined with cringe at the smug little faggot they'll cast to play artemis

Delicious tender flesh

If anything it always struck me as a reaction against the whimsical style of Harry Potter.

Really, nigga? It's literally nothing like Harry Potter though
At all

Artemis was always my least favorite character. Plus he wasn't even technically a good guy in the first book. It was basically Die Hard as told from Hans Gruber's perspective.

>implying Darren Shan and the Demonata/Vampire Chronicles wasn't the patrish YA series

Some of the scenes in the thermal chutes could be kino, and butler vs the ogre. But other than that ehhh

Get the BBC tapes, if you can, they're great. Any old school fan (like me) thinks of the Eagle's "Journey Of The Sorcerer" as the theme song, not the one from the movie. The movie was better than I thought it would be, but not as good as it could have been. A lot of the ideas and themes of the books are in the radio series, and it's interesting to see how it all evolved.

>someone expressing their hopes that a book series they like won't have its adapted version shit up with political ideology
>equivalent to shitting up an adaptation of a work lots of people like with your political ideology
I recognize the hint of irony you've highlighted in your post but the analogy doesn't work imo

Maybe but it came out right when Harry Potter books were at their peak popularity and there was a 3 year hiatus. Everyone I knew who read it read it as a Harry Potter replacement, even the wiki article has a Harry Potter comparison as the only quote from critics.

Every YA series got compared to Harry Potter around that time. Even Lemony Snicket was being called "the new Harry Potter", and that has even less in common with it than Artemis Fowl.

Direct to fridge

>mfw reading erotic holly fan fiction as a tween

>tfw I was the kid who always rooted for the bad guys to win

God I want to sexually mangle that elf.

Oh god I remember reading those when I was 12. They were fucking atrocious but I thought they were cool.

Official YA book list
>kino tier
Bartimaeus
Edge chronicles

>high tier
Darren Shan
The Old Kingdom trilogy
Tiffany Aching series (sans Shepherd's crown)
Redwall

>mid tier
Percy Jackson

>"no!" Tier
Twilight
Harry Potter
Eragon

More than anything I just want to see the scene from the second book where the fairy cops are shooting it out with the Goblin nogs

I just remember this book having pretty good /ss/.

Harry Potter is honestly mid tier (at least the ultra comfy early books). It only descends to Eragon-level tripe at around book 5.

Mah nigguh. Bartimaeus and these books were my jam.

I'd like to challenge you all to a fight.

B A R T I M A E U S
A
R
T
I
M
A
E
U
S

Is there even still a fandom for this? It's been so long.

Holy shit I've never heard of anyone else who read those damn genie books. So fucking good though

CAST ARTEMIS
CAST HOLLY

I always figured he looked just like Patton Oswalt

It's funny because it's true.

Things I remember about the book:

Artemis was autistic
He kept his battlestation on 24/7
He had a xboxhueg bodyguard that was basically like a friendly version of The Hound from GoT?

>He had a xboxhueg bodyguard that was basically like a friendly version of The Hound from GoT?

More like Orea Hotah iirc

the main characters will all be girls and trannies. someone screencap this quiveringly accurate prediction and repost it when they announce the cast.

and the supporting cast males will all be black

Actually I bet either Holly or Artemis will be black. Probably Holly since Hollywood loves to shows white guys as the rich stuck up asshole blatant villain that Artemis feels like a close representation of.

maybe a black woman. if it's coming out in 2019 then they'll be casting next year and the make-everyone-female trend is still strong.

Saint Dane was a pretty great villain until he became shit in the final book.

Thank you, Djinni. You are truly my greatest ally

They already posted requirements for Fowl.
>Please submit if you are; Male, aged 9-13, under 5’3″, any ethnicity, have or can do an Irish accent.

mortal engines?

I stopped reading after the book with demons and interdimensional travel, were the next books good too?

it will be incredibly low budget and a hollywood adaptation

the timetravel one with alternate universe artemis was actually pretty good imo

the one with root's evil brother was DOGSHIT

Dame to fairy, she transitioned

high tier

It will never match up to the pictures I had in my head when I was a kid

I agree but the Eternity Code was pretty rad, mostly for the bit where he cuts the guy's thumb off to open the security door. Seeing more of hte Fairy police was cool too

My fucking nigger, Bartimaeus is the best.

That, Artemis Fowl and Alex Rider series were my shit back in the day..HP was ok, but I still hold those were far better.

If they don't cast JK Simmons as Commander Root, I'm going to be mad.

This

ugh time to find a torrent for the graphic novel

i imagined him more as John Rhys-Davies

i think he'd look better as a stocky manlet
although simmons has the right personality

JRD is 6 foot 1, but I get what you mean.

They could just use camera trickery to get JK in the role.

It will be bad. The books are too simple to make interesting movies. The whole reason the books were interesting was because of the "code."

Shit, people actually know Bartimeo's books. Those were awesome.

The book after was funny because of how utterly ridiculous it was. The patsy bad guy would make dick dastardly tell him to tone it down.
The two after were pretty bad. The environmental message was never subtle to begin with, but he started laying it on with a steamroller for those two

>tfw you realize barty is just a low-mid tier djinni and he's been shitting us the entire book

At best she's going to be played by a very swarthy Italian.

It was good up to Eternity Code. I still remember having to put the book down when Butler got shot because I was so affected by it. One of the only times I can remember doing that with a book. Should be good, but I'm more excited for Mortal Engines which was the better YA series

it'll suck dick unless someone just ravages it in some completely non-hollywood way

>Redwall
Mein neger

Redwall, Alex Rider, and Artemis Fowl were my favorite books in 6th-7th grade. To bad the Alex Rider movie was a shit. The last book was pretty intense.

What happened after that stupid plot with the lemur? I dropped the series after that.

Did he ever fuck Holly?

IIRC he was originaly pretty high up, but degraded over time for various reasons.
In Ptolemy's time, he could go toe to toe with a horde of other Djinni, and it took the power of multiple Marids to take the wall of Prague down.
It's also telling that For all his bluster, faquarl never fought him fairly

>no SoUE at high tier
>percy jackson above harry potter

I always preferred opal. Will she fuck you or torture you? Hopefully both!

...

I remember liking the books well enough except for the 7th one, which was absolute horseshit.
>turning Artemis into a literal retard
Even as a dumb teen I knew how fucking bad it was.

Wow there are a lot more of these than I thought, I dropped out of reading them about 3 or 4. The synopses look pretty wacky

They have nothing to do with each other. Artemis Fowl technically has fantasy elements but it's more like scifi.

>Balance between the Territories must be maintained
>Actually never mind let's just blow up the robot army

So did he ever fugg that fairy or what?
Never bothered reading the last few.