What does Sup Forums think of the cinematic work of screenwriter John Green?

What does Sup Forums think of the cinematic work of screenwriter John Green?

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painfully unfunny

Communists aren't people.

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His books have really great titles. "Paper Towns", "The Fault in our Stars", "Looking for Alaska"... they really roll of the tongue nicely and invoke a lot of fascinating images.

Wasn't he a writer on Seinfeld?

He says it's fine if his wife has sucked literally 784 different penises in her life (receiving their cum on her face and in her mouth, swallowed down smiling) and he will tell her he loves and cherishes her

NIGGA HASN'T SCREENWRITTEN SHIT.

Also Mountain Goats are fucking great and I'm looking forward to that podcast.

>Implying teenagers don't actually think pathetic stuff like this

That's great.

He's really good at writing for teenage girls because he's so low test that he functionally thinks like a teenage girl.

>YASS breaking down social constructs
>ignoring that breakfast food is usually easy to make quickly and so this social construct is valuable

I don't know if it balances out that he tricked her into their first date.

>Invites her to a group movie with a bunch of friends
>lists off everyone that's gonna be there
>"Okay cool"
>she shows up
>no one there but him
>"Yeah they all cancelled"
>he never invited anyone but her

It's beta as shit and could have easily backfired but he made it work for him.

Who is this cuck?

fuck this revisionist twat, i want to force those faggot numale glasses into his face

Is it true he tries to use his fame to sleep with 13 year old girls?

John Green, the young adult author and educator. Your little sister has read his books, and seen his videos in the school you pay taxes to keep open,.

He definitely encourages promiscuity in young teens.

Does anyone have the 'John Green is a new type of man's copypasta?

I've been looking for it for years

*'John green is a new type of man'

I'm inclined to like some of his shit because he lives in my town (Naptown represent) but TFiOS is saccharine as shit and Paper Towns somehow manages to fuck up two of my favorite genres, Road Trip and Mystery.

Idk, he looks more of the kind that prefers boys.

Yes, but most of them grow out of it and realize how cringeworthy it is, unlike John "I like penises in my Cheerios" Green.

He's the worst kind of "nerd", the type that self-identify as such and who wear tshirts with "Nerd" across the tshirt as if they're so happy to embody what is essentially a character-type invented by mainstream media to split human beings into demographics based not on race or some objectively measurable thing but on cultural subgroups whose Platonic form is represented in movies and tv shows. It's disgusting. An aspergic Nazi engineer who works in complete isolation and is obsessed with creating a complex machine to kill jews etc is more of a "nerd" than a guy who talks in a falsely expressive voice on youtube about how neat Star Wars is. It's exactly the same as the word "Punk", which pretty much refers to anybody who is willing to be independent despite drawing the negative attention of other people and "the norm". Now it's all about wearing spiked jackets and living in a squat with a bunch of HIV sufferers. Both Nerd and Punk should be mentalities, not physical descriptors or means of self-definition. He's a nu-male beta cuck using the "Nerd" image to trick impressionable girls into overlooking his obvious character flaws because he's supposedly some super-clever, socially oppressed guy who deserves their pity and affection. It's disgraceful. I'm more of a nerd for typing out this long-ass reply on an anonymous shitposting blog than some dude is for wearing pixel sunglasses and a tshirt that says "GOT RAM?"

DUDE TAXES LMAO

Isn't this the guy who doesn't care if guys cum into his Froot Loops before he eats them or something like that

What a fucking faggot.

my little sister hates all his work, its a great feel

actually most of them fuck now

I love Sup Forums, but /lit/ makes much better threads about hating John Green.

probably because pre-refrigeration you could just pull a fresh egg out from under your chickens and bacon being preserved ? It's not like you can leave a steak out overnight

I like to watch his videos on mentalfloss. Watching him explain and talk about factoids is comfy but I've heard he's a whiny preachy liberal so I avoid him otherwise.
youtube.com/watch?v=9Wa_zVn9kbo

Well /lit/ has these on a near daily basis, so they should be better.

>we need to focus on helping other countries when we can't even help our own yet

I read Looking For Alaska in middle school and thought it was alright

>Just as the Bradys were getting locked in jail, Lara randomly asked me, “Have you ever gotten a blowjob?”
>“Um, that’s out of the blue,” I said.
>“The blue?”
>“Like, you know, out of left field.”
>“Left field?”
>“Like, in baseball. Like, out of nowhere. I mean, what made you think of that?”
>“I’ve just never geeven one,” she answered, her little voice dripping with seductiveness. It was so brazen. I thought I would explode. I never thought. I mean, from Alaska, hearing that stuff was one thing. But to hear her sweet little Romanian voice go so sexy all of the sudden...
>“No,” I said. “I never have.”
>“Think it would be fun?”
>DO I!?!?!?!?!?!?! “Um. yeah. I mean, you don’t have to.”
>“I think I want to,” she said, and we kissed a little, and then. And then with me sitting watching The Brady Bunch, watching Marcia Marcia Marcia up to her Brady antics, Lara unbuttoned my pants and pulled my boxers down a little and pulled out my penis.
>“Wow,” she said.
>“What?”
>She looked up at me, but didn’t move, her face nanometers away from my penis. “It’s weird.”
>“What do you mean weird?”
>“Just beeg, I guess.”
>I could live with that kind of weird. And then she wrapped her hand around it and put it into her mouth.
>And waited.
>We were both very still. She did not move a muscle in her body, and I did not move a muscle in mine. I knew that at this point something else was supposed to happen, but I wasn’t quite sure what.
>She stayed still. I could feel her nervous breath. For minutes, for as long as it took the Bradys to steal the key and unlock themselves from the ghost-town jail, she lay there, stock-still with my penis in her mouth, and I sat there, waiting.
>And then she took it out of her mouth and looked up at me quizzically.
>“Should I do sometheeng?”

Years ago I liked his history videos, but I dropped him after I started noticing his biases. I also got really sick of dude mongols lmao

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>“Um. I don’t know,” I said. Everything I’d learned from watching porn with Alaska suddenly exited my brain. I thought maybe she should move her head up and down, but wouldn’t that choke her? So I just stayed quiet.
>“Should I, like, bite?”
>“Don’t bite! I mean, I don’t think. I think—I mean, that felt good. That was nice. I don’t know if there’s something else.”
>“I mean, you deedn’t—”
>“Um. Maybe we should ask Alaska.”
>So we went to her room and asked Alaska. She laughed and laughed. Sitting on her bed, she laughed until she cried. She walked into the bathroom, returned with a tube of toothpaste, and showed us. In detail. Never have I so wanted to be Crest Complete.
>Lara and I went back to her room, where she did exactly what Alaska told her to do, and I did exactly what Alaska said I would do, which was die a hundred little ecstatic deaths, my fists clenched, my body shaking. It was my first orgasm with a girl, and afterward, I was embarrassed and nervous, and so, clearly, was Lara, who finally broke the silence by asking, “So, want to do some homework?”

This book is required reading in some American public high schools.

>Alexander the Great wasn't so great. You know who's great? Women.

>RAISE TAXES AND RAISE GIBS XAXAXAXAXA
>ALSO LET FOREIGNERS VOTE IN OUR ELECTIONS CUZ WE'RE ALL HUMANS MIRITE

That's really passive and weird as fuck, what a fucking fag. He has to weasel his way into getting a fucking date.

this doesn't make sense, yeah some women were great but does that mean based alex wasn't?

>bruh lets just raise taxes lol
Genius mr.green

Exactly, couldn't take him seriously after I heard a couple of those "witty" lines

>conquest of Persian Empire
>not great

wtf

Wait, is that from a real book? It reads like something written by a 12 year old on facebook.

>What will you do if elected?
>Oh I'll raise taxes by 200% and spend it on African children
Brilliant

Yes, and it's being taught in a literature class in a public school near you.

It's from Looking For Alaska, I think it ends with Alaska driving into some cars and killing herself

>conquer the known world from Greece to India before the age of 30
>"That's not great. You know what's great. Some roastie who's swallowed all the known dicks between Greece and India before the age of 30."

It's real, and I jerked off to it in high school. I was a pretty fucked up kid with no taste

>heh heh well you know the mongol's empire was way bigger

She gets hit by a car after making out with Generic McProtagonist and saying "To be continued", which is the single funniest Jojo reference I've ever heard.

i almost forgot he sucks off the mongols at every opportunity, what a cunt

Mongols were pretty cool though

massively overrated because of fuccbois like green though

genocidal monsters are always great in the eyes of these sorts of fucking commies

Wow, I never liked John Green but now I really have no respect for him at all.
Foreign Aid is just pissing money down the drain while virtue signalling and NASA is pissing money down the drain while internationally dick measuring. Also
>Raise taxes to increase teacher pay to $60k
>Raise taxes on anyone who makes over $45k
Nice one John

I thought that was because of the Hardcore History guy

I'd like Green to explain how reading his novels for english class makes kids smarter.

no doubt government workers will be exempted from taxes

The only thing that I agree with here is VAT, pretty stupid that America doesn't have one. "Spend more money on NASA" is just the sort of thing lolsoquirky nerds say without any idea of what to spend the money on. Fuck the foreign aid shit. I'd raise taxes on the rich but not on people making $45k a year

Summer before Freshman year
>breathing underwater
Summer before Sophomore year
>looking for Alaska
Summer before junior year
>any book we wanted
Summer before senior year
>paper towns and one book from our choice
I can't believe I still remember that from 8 years ago

>forced to read two John Green books

bump, I also want this
"Can you feel it beating in your chest?"

>spectacled nu-male cuckold with little to no understanding of real-life or reality
>literally gets hard over the idea of confiscating the money other people worked hard for at gunpoint and spending it on bullshit

It checks out.

>BernieVoters.png

If Dan Carlin's doing it it's cool.

Crashcourse is cool. Don't care about his books and movies.

Eh, I thought like this as a teen. Maybe i just watched too much disney as a kid.

Only because they were Asian though.

When whites did things that were several orders of magnitude MORE humane than the Mongols, it was still somehow literally Hitlersatan.

>taxes
>confiscating money

Western society is built around taxes. If you don't like it move to some third world mud hut in africa, you fucking retarded child.

>genocidal monsters are always great in the eyes of these sorts of fucking commies

Only the non-white ones, though.

>genocidal monsters

The Mongols were world-shapers who influenced the development of all of Eurasia into the modern era. They should be admired for this. Green just admires them because they were non-whites.

>Do you think it matters [...]?
>No
What the fuck

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That's actually pretty funny, but only because I read it as Alexander delivering the lines. If you read that as if Green is saying it, it loses all its appeal.

Did you not even read what he replied to? Green wants to tax people, and use that tax money to feed people in africa. That essentially is confiscating money.

>taxes
>somehow NOT confiscating money

How is it not? That's literally what the terminology means.

Also, the countries with Third World mud huts are in many cases countries that were previously Communist and fucking imploded, or are currently Communist.

Seriously, how much of a cucked commie faggot do you have to be to boot-lick and shill for the fucking IRS?
"Yes, please Big Daddy Government, take the money I worked for and decide FOR ME what it gets spent on. Yes, punish me for my hard work oooooh god. I'm almost getting as horny as John Green does when he thinks about dicks getting inserted into his breakfast cereal."

>that crazy wide-eyed look with too much white showing
The true mark of the self-deceiving delusional cuckold. He says all the words he's been taught to say, pretends everything is fine, but if you look in his eyes you can see his soul screaming for help

I was mostly referring to the retarded phrasing
>do you think number of sexual partners matter? No
Is this guy supposed to be a writer or what

I'm fine paying taxes to build my country. I'm not fine with paying taxes to subsidize some African's nineteenth kid.

He's not a successful writer because he's a good writer. He's a successful writer because his writing style sounds exactly like the way teenage girls think and they love that.

>I thought maybe she should move her head up and down, but wouldn’t that choke her?

Confirmed beta male.

>My world without Alaska was as dark as a room where all the lightbulbs have been replaced with the absence of Alaska. Thus, I am truly become John Green: Looking for Alaska.

How do I get this kind of natural flow to my writing?

>The Mongols were world-shapers who influenced the development of all of Eurasia into the modern era.

The Mongols were barbarian hoards that literally set human progress back by centuries with their raiding of more advanced societies leading to the temporary collapse of major kingdoms of the Far East, India and the Middle East.
Literally every good thing that ever happened because of the Mongols was completely unintentional on their part. They were literally an anti-civilization that subsisted by raiding actual civilizations, like a fucking cancer. They just ended up accidentally benefiting better civilizations by the time they died-out due to their complete inability to do anything other than rape, pillage and wage genocide.

They are VASTLY overrated by nerds who have studied a little history but not nearly enough to actually gain a working understanding of it.

why does he look like absolutely no blood flows to his face?
Look at his lips, it's like a corpse.

The Mongols caused chain reactions that shaped a lot of the world after them. They basically created the Ottoman Empire by chasing the Turks out of Central Asia and into Anatolia.

i heard that guy eats cheerios soaked in other guys' cum

>Some roastie who's swallowed all the known dicks between Greece and India before the age of 30.
Well Alex did the same thing

are you fucking with me or is this guy legit required reading in american schools? i was never made to read a book less than 50 years old in school

All his blood gets routed to his brain so that he can rationalize why its okay for his wife to fuck fifty different men; There's no blood left for anything else

>I bet john green thinks people don’t like him because he’s a “dork” or a nerd or whatever.
>When in reality it’s because he’s a creep who panders to teenage girls so that he can amass some weird cult-like following.
>And it’s always girls who feel misunderstood, you know, and he goes out of his way to make them feel important and desirable. which is f******? weird?
>Also he has a social media presence that is equivalent to that dad of a kid in your friend group who always volunteers to “supervise” the pool parties and scoots his lawn chair close to all the girls
>he actually got butthurt enough about this to respond to it when it was posted by some nobody on tumblr
No smoke without fire.

Not all American schools, but some, yes.

>The book has been challenged for content dealing with sexually explicit situations. Two teachers at Depew High School near Buffalo, New York, used the book for eleventh grade instruction in 2008. A letter was sent to parents advising them that the book contained controversial content. An alternate reading selection was available for those opting out, and a small percentage of parents chose this option. Nevertheless, the book was challenged on the grounds that it is "pornographic" and "disgusting." One parent even went as far as refusing to read the book himself, reportedly saying that "One does not need to have cancer to diagnose cancer." The book was ultimately kept in the curriculum by the school board after a unanimous school board vote. Green defended his book in his vlog, Vlogbrothers.

>In March 2012, The Knoxville Journal reported that a parent of a 15-year-old Karns High School student objected to the book's placement on the Honors and Advanced Placement classes' required reading lists for Knox County high schools on the grounds that its sex scene and its use of profanity rendered it pornography.

you stupid fuck he is writing from a teenager pov

>I love sucking democracies dick.
>Niggers, please vote for my property.

People who support democracy are anti-human, anti-family. I regret serving this this country in the Iraq war. Government cucks like you needed voted into direct gun fire of shit skins.

I had to read alaska for school, this shit was horrible the protagonist is some self insert loser who falls in love with the quirky troubled mysterious girl, what is the target audience for this book?