New Avengers Vol 2 Storytime (Part 6)

Welcome back Anons! Last time, we totally read Avengers vs. X-Men, and anybody who says we didn't is a liar. Today, we're reading the New Avengers tie-in.

Oh yeah, and Jessica took her and Luke's daughter and ran off without telling anyone.

The more things change, the more they stay the same, right Anons?

>"So what was all that with Spider-Island?

That's actually relevant to our reading later on, so we'll end up having to post the last time Slott wrote a half-decent book (depending on if you liked SpOck).

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REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>Spidey taking the time to crack jokes about Professor Logan

That plot point may be stupid, but I think it's given us some of the best jokes, like the famous Sabertooth Jetpack incident.

Danny, no, don't talk to the nutbars.

Don't you get on me, I was genuinely considering actually posting the event for real.

Credit where it's due, at least this time Jessica came back on her own.

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Well wherever she hid, she apparently did a good job, if Luke couldn't find her in two whole days.

>all that text

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Holy shit, Bendis.

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>People die fighting various colored Hulks every day too.
... Really?

No wonder Bendis writes the public cheering for Hawkeye in CW2.

And unlike Wolverine, Storm basically gets the fuck back to Utopia as soon as she hears the words "Phoenix Force".

>everyone there who knows about Cyclops tells Cap he's going to get an Optic beam to the dick
>Cap thinks he knows better

And now we know why Luke was there and Jessica wasn't, despite her being a legit Avenger now, as opposed to Luke's +1.

So yeah, this entire issue was a flashback from issue two.

You know, despite the fact that they FELL out of the Helicarrier, instead of jumping out.

To be fair, as we've discovered, the public in Marvel will cheer for ANYTHING. They're cheering for Norman Osborn for fuck's sake, and most of his crimes are public record.

Can't we have one fucking storytime without some asshole shitting on the comic and the characters while pretending it's some great personal insight about how Bendis = BAD! ?

Congratulations, you shitposted out an overused meme, your mother must be proud that you were born now.

Refer to the first issue of Avengers vs. X-Men to catch the reference.

Calm down, Bendis.

He's every bit the sterotype people claim he is.

And here we see Bendis half-assedly retcon in the Phoenix Force/Shou Lao connection.

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Well, at least the Brand's twirling tail is still there.

More like CLAM down, Bendis. Get it? Because he eats a lot. Eh? Eh? I'm funny.

Wait, Yu-Ti SLEEPS with that hood on?

Based on the "I break Tradition" line, I'm guessing this isn't Nu-An, since he did that frequently, as we know.

Is it really so hard to just say "red hair"? Do you have to be so poetic about it, Yu-Ti?

And that's why Luke Cage is a shitty character that nobody wants to read about.
(Look Mommy, I'm helping!)

I vaguely remember the Scrying pool being a thing before, but I may just be remembering from a later issue.

What we don't see is the pool responding "Concentrate and ask again".

Carol Was Right

Seriously Bendis, get off the Internet, it's not healthy.

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>it's not healthy
Just like his diet!

I'm probably not going to stay up for this entire thread, but going over what I said last thread: Bendis really does seem to be really into Action Figure Variants in his major events. I honestly think that Disassembled and Siege might be the only ones he's done without them.

Secret War- 'stealth' costumes
House of M - Mutieverse costumes, including HoM SHIELD, 'What's an Avenger' street clothes and more.
Secret Invasion - Mix and Match Skrull Combomans.
Fear Itself - Asgard powerboost costumes
Avengers vs. X-Men - Phoenix Five
Battle of the Atom - Future X-people
Black Vortex - Mirror boosted characters

Even a broken clock, user.

Well, I guess if you can't get your Rickshaw carried by a horse, a skinny redhead girl always works as a substitute, if you're in no rush to go anywhere.

>that look when you just realized you almost told the King of your country to go fuck himself

Is answering what your name means a common thing in Asian cultures? Is it something white men think is common in Asian cultures?

Notice Lei Kung doesn't bother bringing up that she's a woman. Either Bendis doesn't know about the whole "women can't learn martial arts in K'un Lun" thing, or Yu-Ti can genuinely just break the rules on a whim.

Bendis didn't write Fear Itself, and Black Vortex was Humphries' idea.

And speaking of "not knowing shit stuff", Marvel's editors REALLY should've caught this page. Remember, Fraction's run ended with Yu-Ti running away (maybe never to be seen again), Lei Kung becoming the new Yu-Ti, and Nameless Girl becoming the new Thunderer.

Well of course. Look at this poser ass art. How could she avoid Cage's dick? This is practically straight out of black3dsexwhites.xxx

Fear Itself wasn't Bendis, user.

Now now, Anons. Let's not fight over memes.

If she doesn't fucking feel safe living in New York why the fuck doesn't she move to Idaho or something? It's cheaper.

So I should probably read S.H.I.E.L.D. at some point, so I can be properly hyped by this page, yes?

Fucking hell, Yu-Ti. I mean, it worked, but god damn.

>Phoenix Force

>Brian Braddock FAILS TO REACT IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER

At what point did Marvel completely forget that Rachel exists?

>She grabbed the damn knife, managed to kick Lei Kung in the face, and tried to kill Yu-Ti

I think I like our little plot device here.

>"She is? Yu-Ti, doesn't she have to survive fighting- and you already left."

I still really have a problem with Red Hulk being here. Like, he was hardly stable as Thunderbolt Ross and he only got worse as Where the Fuck is Your Mustache Hulk.

Given that we next see Luke and her in New York after this series, that's a good damn question.

I see Cyclops and Yu-Ti share similar ideas on "training".

If you read the first issue of Avengers vs. X-Men, you know where this is going.

Yep, sudden flare-up of Phoenix.

Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if Bendis's script just mentioned "all the members of the Avengers teams", because I don't think he knows the first thing about Brian Braddock.
Hell, he once had Tony Stark talk shit about him.

For some reason, Bendis made him an Avenger.

Wait, no tournament where she has to beat everyone else? Just magic water says she's ready?

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Deodato really is a master of the "Posterize" filter, isn't he?

Wait, she lasted two days in a fight with Shao Lao?

Huh, so apparently the secret to curing muteness is to kill a Dragon.

I guess the Phoenix Force can fly into other dimensions now?

>It's a "Bitches love Spider-Man" issue

For someone who's never spoken before, she's got fairly good pronunciation. Cassandra Cain could barely manage one syllable words.

Good job risking your entire city on this, Yu-Ti.

I swear to god, I think this is a reprint from issue 25.

And apparently while looking, it isn't a TOTAL reprint, since her clothes are different.

My bad.

Still. They've done that shit a lot in the Queseda era.

Fair point. Still, I can't find much evidence of them actually MAKING any action figures, as much as they seem like they're designed with that in mind.

Well, that's not spooky.

So, does the Phoenix Force frequently talk to the host? I'm surprisingly unread on most X-Men history.

Have black eyes EVER not been a bad thing?

When I first saw that first panel, I assumed her face was cracking. Nope, looks like just tears.

So were they planning on shooting the Phoenix with at obvious artillery emplacement, or what?

Danny really doesn't bother hiding his identity, does he?

Well, I guess she COULD kill Shao-Lao now, but it's not like it'd be too hard. It's a small thing now.

It's probably taking all of Yu-Ti's effort to not tell her to just shut the hell up, I bet.

Yeah, it's really goddamn weird.

But I suppose it goes hand in hand with the rise of every character getting almost completely redesigned every time a new main artist joins a book.

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>The Spider

Oh god, she's going to be trained by Jessica Drew?

Man, Yu-Ti just doesn't want to deal with ANYONE'S shit today.

>"I'm not dressing like you. I can tell you THAT!"

That line would have more weight, if she wasn't basically wearing spandex already. Maybe she doesn't like the blue?

>No crack about having already been to the future.

This is what happens when a tracer traces the wrong thing.

The art here is terrible.

Am I just sleep deprived, or does it look like Deodato didn't trace an ACTION picture for Jessica's head here?

Well, it ain't gonna be Bride of Nine Spiders, seeing as how Yu-Ti apparently never got deposed.

But Peter, you were a teacher before Wolverine was.
Unless you also sold THAT to Mephisto.

I have no idea who this is. Is she a telekinetic too? Because otherwise that food should be spilling everywhere on that plate.

I actually looked it up, she's just one of the Stepford Cuckoos. Since I only rarely read X-Men, I'm a bit surprised she's not with the others ALL the time.

I know nothing about Warpath besides the fact that his brother was the first X-Man to die. Going by Luke being able to casually carry an 18 wheeler over his shoulder, how close are these two in strength?

Don't tell me, she's the type who frequently does that?

And this is why, when you have to deliver food to the people in your dungeons, you either don't give them plates, or you use PAPER plates.

Hope seems to have forgotten her entire childhood in this series?

Like, her being a Messianic figure being chased down by assholes is her entire life's frame of reference. She's had like maybe 6 months of living in the present being a Junior X-Men Team Leader to inform her as not the most important person in the world.

Bishop killed BILLIONS and rendered most of the Earth uninhabitable to get at her.