What is Florida-Man's origin story?

What is Florida-Man's origin story?

He's related to the one AJ Lee fag who thinks Shawn Michaels taught him how to wrestle but he tried to shoot up Full Sail when NXT refused to give him a Tryout

Possessed by elder god slumbering beneath Florida

Got drunk on radioactive beer and then fell asleep in a swamp where he was bitten by a magical one toothed meth addict.

He was on cocaine one night when he was bitten by a radioactive crocodile, which was also on drugs.

...

Bitten by a radioactive Florida.

All jokes aside, I believe the reason is because the National Enquirer is in Florida so it likes to bring up local stories and that started it.

That and all the meth labs.

I was about to say something but then I noticed this user had already said it pretty much word for word. Except I would have worked an octogenarian in there somewhere.

I was surprised when I posted it because it looks like someone else got in a similar one before me. It was because I took the time to research the difference between a crocodile and an alligator!!

Plot twist: Florida man IS an octogenarian!

"On my world it means 'hope'."
"Well, here it's an 'F'."

Actually the reason is because of Florida's public record laws, police reports are more accessible than basically anywhere in the nation.

Ponce de Leon having discovered the fountain of youth lives his life adventuring until he's driven mad by the lack of true conquest left in America and the curse that is immortality. Eventually he takes up meth and dating trailer trash.

No, it's because Florida has one of the broadest/most expansive open records laws in the country meaning it's very easy to trawl through police records and such until you find a wacky sounding crime. The same shit happens in every other state, it's just much easier to find the records of it in Florida.

I also think it's partial payback for the 2000 election and Pub sub jealousy.

After pissing off a Native American man, he was cursed into embodying all the negative stereotypes about white people. Thus, he became a Florida resident and roams the countryside in Naked Snake's crocodile hat, forever being a disgrace to all white people everywhere.

Its one reason where 9 times outta 10 Nancy Grace would always pick things from Florida to ride into a shitstorm

Casey Anthony Trial and the Z Trial being prime examples, also much easier to pressure the state with bullshit from the mass media as shown by those prime examples.

Oh, I see

Outcome of those trials feel like they were the opposite of the narrative pushed by the mass media, though.

Truly the most horrible stereotype a white man could ever be. A black man

Florida-Man is the hero we deserve.

>I also think it's partial payback for the 2000 election
Not to mention 2016.

What the hell, Florida.

It also helps that it is one of the most populated states in the union. Lots of people = lots of idiots

Now you've done it

>Not to mention 2016
But they're the good guys in that scenario. Besides it was a joint effort with the rest of Middle America and Pennsylvania. Patriots, who saved the country. Every last one.

Florida-man drank the water on its a Small World at Walt Disney World

Is Florida Man a hero, or a villain?

Because thank god we don't operate on a system of mob justice.

CURSED BY SANTERIA

who else /miami/ here? anyone else remember seeing like, anthologies/tv specials where like, some Honest and Hardworking naturalized immigrant would marry a seemingly ok white hispanic, but then he turns out to be a santero using her to get his papers, and she comes home to find that he brought all these cultists home and that they had sacrifice funtimes going on on the coffee table

cuz I remember seeing a whole show of stories like that (in spanish), and then the host would come out and talk about the Perils of Santeria

Florida Man IS

He was bitten by a radioactive alligator while he was shooting up some radioactive heroine. The mixture of radioactivity gave him great powers and great insanity.
Now he does whatever the fuck he wants.

The Anthony trial mainly boiled down to
>State had evidence she did shit, not enough to put her away for life but easily a good 20 to 40 years
>state in large part thanks to Nancy Grace creating pressure on everyone involved decided to try to get her with life when they easily lacked enough evidence to make it a open/shut case
>factor in double jeopardy and they couldn't retry her for the lesser shit after she got off on the harder shit
Was kinda a damned if you do, damned if you don't for the State.

As for the Zimzam trial, the law, the evidence, etc were all on Zimmermans side but pressure by the media, riled up masses, and the likes of Obama caused it to become bigger than it ever should have been.
Was pretty much muh feelings vs reality/evidence

In both cases Nancy Grace was the sole on air MSM just talking about this shit night after night until the others were forced to jump on

He's meth in the shape of a man.

>Was pretty much muh feelings vs reality/evidence
Just evidence. The reality was really evident just by looking at the circumstances of some guy with a gun persistently stalking a kid, it just wasn't court admissible. That's an important distinction.

Florida Man
Florida Man
Doin' the things
A Florida can
What's he like?
It's not important
Florida Man

both of em did shit wrong (George attempting to follow, Trayvon coming back to start shit after he'd already gotten away) but as soon as Trayvon jumped George by FL law he had the right to defend himself.

The only reason Zippity-doo-dah got out of hand was because they decided they he was white, even though he kinda wasn't, but "a latino guy shooting a black kid" never makes news.

Florida is chaotic neutral, it doesn't do good or bad. It just does.