Ahem

Ahem.

"No!"

I jerked off to her once.

Crooked Dolores

le haría un buen BRBRBRBRBRBR en el ojete a la profe

>May I offer you a cough drop, Dolores?

Savage af

Well done Slytherin

best hp villain desu

I'd fuck her

She tasted the BIG CENTAUR COCK

/

Top tier
Dolores
Lockhart
Voldy
Snape
Lucius

Great tier
Mad Eye Barty crouch JUNIOR Moody
Bellatrix
Draco

Good tier
Quirrell
Fenrir
Whoever I forgot

Confirmed raped in the books

There are numerous myths and stories about centaurs violating women in Greek mythology. One of these stories refers to centaur Nesus who tried to rape Heracles’ wife, Deianeira. However, this woman not only managed to defend herself, but she also killed the centaur.

And in the film, harry actually james bond quips and hermione silently knows exactly what is going down in five minutes.

CENATURED

*ahem*
So silly of me! But it seems you actually want to discuss one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

For a young man in the 21st century, J.K. Rowling embodies just about everything that he hates about his own mother, but can't outright say to her. An aging neoliberal single mother with an inflated sense of self-importance using twitter to cope with her increasing irrelevance. The sort of woman who hasn't seriously thought about any of her opinions, but feels the need to push them on to others and condescend to anybody who might think differently.

She is an archetype. Neither insightful nor funny nor controversial. She is a consummate mediocrity basking in the praise of similar mediocrities the world over who have projected their own aspirations on to her, satisfied that somebody like them is a billionaire.

She conceives of public affairs in the nebulous terms of "love" and "hate". The fact that an action might fall outside of either of these two categories, or that something she deems "hateful" might in fact be the wiser choice has not occurred to her. Despite this, she is shockingly easy to bait into a bitter, spiteful rage. Furthermore, her generosity only extends as far as her personal comfort. At the end of the day, it's little more than virtue signalling and if social opinion undergoes some vast sweeping change then she'll fall in line.

In many ways, she's already missed the boat. Her brand of comfortable feminism has already fallen out of style. She just doesn't know it yet. The second wave man-hating sexual phobia that sees rape everywhere. Its frigidity is evident in her writing. Then the bizarre merger with proud slut queer positivity. The post-hoc declarations of characters' sexual proclivities. The rationalization of racial retconning. It's like she discovered a Harry Potter fan tumblr, followed a couple links, and incorporated whatever she saw, resulting in an incoherent schizophrenic worldview. That's probably exactly what happened.

Her name is fucking Joanne. Need I say more?

And one more thing. She has a surprisingly nice pair of tits that I'd really like to suck on.

She looks a lot like my own mother, but with nicer hair and way nicer tits. In fact, she's basically a more attractive version of my mother, which is great since the only thing that really held me back from fantasizing about my own mother is that she just wasn't good looking enough.

Rowling really seems like the kind of woman who'd suck her teenage son's dick. I mean it.

She gets back from le ebin GIRLS NIGHT OUT XD!!! Plastered out of her mind from sipping too much shiraz or perhaps pinot grigio. Maybe she and THE GIRLS even passed around a blunt at Samantha's house. I always find it funny when Gen X women think they're being SO BAD smoking weed. Mouth full of the most expensive cheese available at Tesco and whatever crackers Georgia had to get rid of. She's cackling with laughter and sobbing as she lurches in through the front door. She has zero self-awareness when it comes to her emotions, but defends them with religious fervor.

Clumsily, she makes her way toward the living room where her son is playing video games. She sits down on his lap, suffocating him with her embrace and exhaling the stinking fumes of cheap wine right into his face. For a couple minutes, she rants about what a BITCH Leslie at the office is, before muttering the he's the only on who understands her. Briefly, she looks into his eyes, trembling all over. Then she locks her mouth with his and begins to kiss him passionately. At first he is paralyzed, but his mom is kind of hot and he'll probably never have another chance like this. He's thought about it before. He kisses back and before long she's between his legs, pawing at his penis like the cats she collects. She takes it in her mouth and sucks it like she's back in college. She's STILL GOT IT.

The next morning, she pretends not to remember anything, but blames him for the incident, finding subtle ways to punish him.

Came into this thread just for this.

...

Do be careful with my good china with the handpainted periwinkles.

Imagine being this upset about harry potter on a "film" board where the things most discussed and loved are star wars, capeshit, game of thrones and rick and morty. Did she realpy hit you hard with her tweet about virgin frogposters?

>be in slytherin
>total Chad and proud
>senior during the time Umbridge was professor
>griffyndors getting knocked off their pedestal, allowed to bully mudbloods without repercussion, potter no longer the schools star boy
>things are good
>mates and I come up with a game to impress the Stacies in our house
>find vulnerable first years, usually shy and sensitive, unathletic, not very outgoing
>looking for older role models to guide and protect them, will suck up to any senior who gives them the time of day
>find such a kid, teach him a few spells and potions for his classes, help him out with homework, give him somewhere to sit at lunch
>after a while he begins to trust and depend on me
>around this time I tell him that I need him to do me a favour, but that's it's gonna be risky
>he, of course, accepts
>now, around this time Dolores Umbridge's had brought in Educational Decree Number Twenty-Nine, giving Filch the power to physically punish students
>tell the first year to steal something from the headmistresses office for me
>tentative but, as soon as I even hint that I might think of him less, he resolves to do it
>invariably gets caught
>I get called in to the headmistress office
>feign innocence, act like I've never seen the kid before
>they believe me
>smile as I see the dumb first year robot get dragged off to the torture chamber looking at me with an expression of utter betrayal and despondence
>go back to dorm and fuck Stacy while we hear screaming coming from the chamber below us, wait a week and then repeat with some other robot

>Umbridge is an evil Hyacinth Bucket
Now it all makes sense

>Imagine being this upset
kek yeah just imagine

It's from lit

>all that in only 24 hours

Lel look at the post numbers. A good amount seem to be in the same threads too.

And I've looked up this image and it seems you've posted it 30 times. Quite ironic? Which flick of those is your favorite because all of them suck and that guy is doing gods work.

Ah so it's the megaautist cross poster