Hey Luke, did I ever tell you about the time Sheev came back to life and you turned to the dark side?

>Hey Luke, did I ever tell you about the time Sheev came back to life and you turned to the dark side?

not canon

>Hey Luke, did I ever tell you about the time a race of force-immune Hellraiser aliens from outside the galaxy invaded and nearly killed everyone?

Better than canon

>Hey Luke, did I ever tell you about the Starkiller Base?
The Starkiller Base was a mobile ice planet located in the Unknown Regions that served as a stronghold of the First Order thirty years after the Battle of Endor. Commanded by an unofficial triumvirate of General Armitage Hux, Kylo Ren and Captain Phasma, it was armed with a superweapon capable of destroying entire star systems halfway across the galaxy. The First Order viewed this ability as an evolution of the planet-destroying capabilities of the Galactic Empire's Death Star designs, with the weapon serving as the ultimate culmination of Old Empire research into dark energy translations and hyperspace tunneling.

The planet was ultimately destroyed by a Resistance attack due to a weak point exploited by pilot Poe Dameron, causing the implosion of the entire planet as the superweapon was firing upon the Resistance base on D'Qar. The stored stellar energy then expanded, causing the planet to turn into a star.

>Hey Luke, did I ever tell you about Skippy the Jedi Droid?

>Obi-Wan Kenobi leaves a cantina, sensing the Force in someone. Suddenly, unbeknownst to Obi-Wan, an astromech droid serving drinks at Jabba's Palace is bumped into by Boba Fett, spilling one of the drinks from his tray. But before it can hit the ground, the droid, named R5-D4, is able to reach out with his mind and turn the drink back in its upright position and serve it to Jabba the Hutt; thankfully nobody had noticed what had just happened, as it had gone by so fast

>One day, R5 removed his restraining bolt with the Force, and Force persuaded the Gamorrean guards to let him leave. R5 wandered the desert for days in search of his destiny, until finally he was picked up by a Jawa sandcrawler. There he had visions of Darth Vader and Princess Leia, and met R2-D2 and C-3PO. Eventually the Sandcrawler stopped, took all the droids out, and lined them up side by side in front of Owen Lars and Luke Skywalker. R5 immediately sensed the Force in Luke, and persuaded Owen to choose him. R5 was ecstatic at the undoubtable destiny that lay before him and Luke.

>However, R5 soon envisioned that, without Luke, stormtroopers would come and take R2 back to Vader, where he would be destroyed and Leia would be killed, leading to a chain reaction of horror that will include the Rebellion being destroyed, R2's memory being wiped after 3PO refuses to translate his 'rubbish', and Luke dying on Tatooine without ever fulfilling his destiny. R5 knew what he had to do, and suddenly set off a mild explosion inside himself, leading Luke to believe that he had a busted motivator. R5 then used the Force on 3PO, telling Luke to buy R2 instead. Owen did so, never knowing the great deed that R5 had just done.

>He was a good droid.

I still want someone to explain what the actual government in TFA was.

why are the rebels still the rebels if the empire is dead and the first order is a newer thing?

I know you're biased because you wrote book reports on the EU in middle school, but Starkiller Base isnt even close to the levels of retardation in the EU

the thing with the Starkiller base it's about how smart make the EU sound in comparison.

dark empire is the only thing post rotj that is any good. fuck all the rest of it.

You're trying too hard. The only thing lame about the Starkiller base is that it's the same threat again but George himself is guilty of that with two Death Stars.

wooow I didn't know /swco/ had a general on Sup Forums

Sheev actually came back to life twice
That time when they used a cloning machine was the best because since it worked via "soul-transfering" or some shit you could take a guy, torture him to death, actually kill him and keep torturing him forever so there's no limitations to it

What about the Thrawn trilogy

I don't know what this means? Are the triggered because there's on thread out of a hundred that's not a alt-right shitposting hugbox?

based george lucas prequel writing there bois!

>George did it, and people didn't like it the second time so lets do it again!

Go back redditfag

fanboi CRAP
go read it. its a grade 5 reader.
it only looks better in your memory because its surrounded by an ocean of shit

>Hey Luke, did I ever tell you about the time we went to a planet called Mortis?
>It was basically a giant obelisk planet that was home to "Force Gods," there was the Son who was like the embodiment of the dark side and could turn into a gargoyle or some shit, there was the Daughter who was like the embodiment of the light side and could turn into a griffon or some shit, then there was the Father who represented the Force. Basically your father, Anakin, could control both the Son and the Daughter because he was the chosen one, and the Father asked him to replace him as the balance between the two, but the Son ended up killing the Daughter but accidentally or some shit and then the Son showed Anakin his future of becoming a Sith Lord so Anakin turned into a Sith Lord then to prevent him becoming a Sith Lord later, but then the Father wiped his memory and Anakin killed the embodiment of the dark side and the Father died and the planet died around us, and then we just woke up on a shuttle and laughed.
>He was a good friend.

>>>/swco/

Remember the Sun Crusher?

Dark Empire is actually one of the few things from the EU worth a shit despite having the most fanfic premise ever.

I'm not sure why it works, it's unique for the EU in that the characters behave and have dialogue that actually feels true to the movies. Plus the art is fucking stellar and if you were a kid at the time it actually felt like serious Star Wars.

It has a more interesting premise then "LOL we're the nu-Empire with better weapons and bigger ships and bigger Death Stars!"
Especially when you account for Palpatine's relationship with Plagueis that he talks about in III.

>Hey Luke, did I ever tell you about the time Palpatine put a Mon Calamari into Grievous' suit and had him fight Vader?
>Karbin was a male Mon Calamari who served as a commander during the Clone Wars. Towards the end of the conflict, his starship was damaged, causing Karbin considerable and untreatable injuries. After the incident, he spent the next eighteen years on life support, the final two of which he spent being enhanced with a cybernetic body inspired by that of the late General Grievous by Doctor Cylo and trained to replace Darth Vader, Emperor Palpatine's Sith apprentice.
>He was a good friend.

Dark Empire actually told a fantasy story like Star Wars IV, V, VI and VII instead of a shitty B-grade sci-fi story like literally everything else associated with Star Wars.

Galaxy was split into two. New Republic controlled most of it while the First Order controlled the rest. The Resistance is a rebel group within the First Order territory and is used as a proxy for the New Republic to continue fighting the First Order

and he was a good friend

If Star Wars is set in far away past, how does the present look like?

Vii sucked

star wars is capeshit from future

Nelvaan was a better spirit quest for anakin

>It is known that, by 27 BBY, at the start of the Outbound Flight Project, Palpatine had somehow gained knowledge of the incoming Yuuzhan Vong fleet, though he planned to withhold it from the Republic until after his New Order could be instituted.
>Following the end of the Clone Wars, Emperor Palpatine let out hints of the Yuuzhan Vong to the public. One of his official justifications for maintaining the Imperial Navy even after the war had ended was to ward off the threat of extra-galactic invasion.
>Thrawn apparently encountered the Yuuzhan Vong advance force hiding in the Unknown Regions. The threat of the advancing invaders was one of his primary motivations for trying to reunify the Empire, as he felt that the Empire stood a much better chance against the Vong than did the New Republic.
>The Yuuzhan Vong advance scouts themselves shared that sentiment. After the formation of the Imperial Interim Council in 11 ABY, following the final death of the reborn Emperor Palpatine, Yuuzhan Vong executor Nom Anor was tasked to infiltrate the Council. He did so and manipulated its leader, Xandel Carivus, arranging the deaths of many Councilors and furthering the internal strife between the leaders of the fracturing Empire.

Where were you when Sheev was literally confirmed to have done absolutely NOTHING wrong?