ROOMMATE ?

ROOMMATE ?

Mommi

scarlet because she would hardly ever be home and then I could raid her panties and foot lotions

Plot twist: You get ScarJo from Her.

is that supposed to make me change my mind?

One will annoy me, another would fuck my life up, and the bother would do both.

Sheldon by far.

Imagine that burpy fedora retard.

I don't want to listen to Scarjo fucking Chads every night and slurping on dicks either.

Sheldon since he's rich enough to buy all that video game and console

>have hot female friend
>only time you see her is with makeup
>move in with her
>she walks around with no makeup
>you lose interest
>still horny though
>go in her bedroom and find one of her undies with brown vaginal secretion stains
>inhale them
>rub your penis on them
>cum buckets
>get post jackoff regret because you're a scumbag
>WHATHAVEIDONE
>she comes home
>takes a shower
>doesn't put makeup back on
>post-orgasm clarity is still lingering
>see her without makup
>realize all women, hot or not, look like shit without makeup
>become gay

that's why you don't move in with hot chicks

Rick because I'd like to be the acquaintance of someone on my IQ level.

>become gay

what an elaborated way to explain your degeneracy

>being in a room with a female without fucking her
you were gay to begin with

But then he screeches at you if you sit in his spot.

>sheldor
cunt, not even rich
>morty
hes not real
>scarjo
rich, hot and jewess

So sit somewhere else?

Asians and some Eurasians look good without makeup

ScarJo, I don't know who the other two are.

If that era scarjo is my roommate I will make it clear that I want her and make no attempt to hide that I constantly jerk off to her.

LE SILLY BAZOOPER MAN would be the obvious choice.
>leaves me the fuck alone
>pays bills on time
LITERALLY PERFECT ROOMMATE

just bitch slap him

What if it was current year Scarlett "Your Cool Aunt Who Used To Jerk You Off Sometimes When You Were A Kid" Johanssen?

>sees you doing literally anything
>pulls out roomate agreement and tells you about how he has authority to delete you if you don't scoot over 2.5 inches to the left
perfect roomate

its sad how few women realize that while makeup makes you look pretty it also fucks up your skin even more so when you don't wear makeup you look even shittier and then you get that perpetual cycle of having to keep wearing it

luckily makeup is an urban girl thing and there are some rural girls left that aren't obese coal burners

You can't be serious...

rick duh
with his low morals and advanced tech.. I could probably make few clones of obedient scarjo that will be so very quiet while I fuck their every hole

I'd be her fuck buddy. Nothing more than that.

sacrjo not the drunk or the other loser.

I don't want to die or have my body raped by some spikey dicked alien while my mind is food for some eldricht horror soooo not Rick.

>a scientist who can take you on inter-dimensional adventures
>a Jew slut with big tits who you can fuck
>a random autist

Wow such a tough choice.

Obviously Rick

Would get hammered the entire time

You'd be dead within a day

Would we go visit his grand kids?

Worth it

do you actually share rooms with a roommate?
how do you jerk off if they're in your room?

Can we specify Scarjo before she got a breast reduction and turned her glorious funbags into floppy fried eggs?

from her appearances on snl i get the vibe that scarjo could be a cool girl to be friends with
plus i'd get to sniff her panties and such

Rick, no question. Our personalities just match. Intelligent, sarcastic, and don't give a fuck about anything.

Jesus Christ. She didn't have surgery.

Do you know any women? Your outfit is 90% of your boobs.
The difference between sports bra and push up is bigger then any surgery.

she just got old
no surgery
just like Amanda Seyfried or christina model or brie

hahahahahaha

she just got old
no surgery
just like Amanda Seyfried or christina model or brie

>pick ScarJo
>sign lease
>make my intentions clear
>she'll either want to fuck me or avoid me most of the time
>either way I win

>Get reported to the police for sexual harassment
>Get a restraining order put against you
>Get taken to small claims court to pay the cost of breaking her lease
>because you're ugly and fat they believe her
>End up broke and alone with a record
What did you mean by this?????

Rick would probably hardly be there and improve the property with his tech stuff.

>picking any of them
>not turning your spare room into a cannabis farm

Scarlet's an sjw, sheldor is a weapons grade twat and the other guy isn't real.

>INB4 Scarlet would have a casual relationship with you

no she wouldnt

>not allowing your bitch to squeal scream beg or moan as loud as possible like the pig she is

He'd probably kill you for some stupid reason

Scarjo. She can tidy up and make me sandwiches.

The woman

This. I'd like to think she'd get so irritated she'd throw you a pity fuck or two after a few glasses of wine

Johansson could live rent free, as long as I could see her naked whenever I wanted.

That inception episode with slutty Summer wanting to be tag teamed my Rick and Morty honestly turned me on

>an annoying sperg with a million rules
>a mortally dangerous antisocial nihilist
>a hot rich woman with great connections

You're right, this is a tough one!

>realize all women, hot or not, look like shit without makeup

this is 1000% false

Probably Rick. ScarJo will most likely just bring some Chad everyday to fuck in the next room.

Any other answer than Rick is incorrect. He can create a Scarlett clone or robot or probably a robot that can take the form of anything you want if you ask nicely

No you're 'housemates' but that sounds faggy so everyone just says roommate
>apply late to university
>no campus accommodation left
>end up moving in with two girls
>8/10 and probably a 6 + she was a cunt so fuck her
>8/10 has a serious relationship the entire year
You've never felt a house with such little sexual tension, not as fun as you'd think

why is Sheldon there? No one would pick him, why would they?

Though question is, who should be there instead?

Seth Rogan.

bleh, I dont remember single funny thing from him
if we are going with a chill funny guy that you can get high with... Seth MacFarlane...

Quick rundown on these brothers?

wtf i love giraffes now

I'd pick Sheldon over I'M A PICKLE MORTY, but Scarjo 1st of course

ah-bloo-bloo

...

You were gay before that, user.

>reddit and memey
kill la kill yourself

>telling a woman who has more than enough for rent she doesn't have to pay that small amount as long as your ugly fat ass can see her naked whenever

You're retarded

epic :P

Which is the one that cleans up after themselves and possibly takes a turn cooking dinner?

Rick you get Inter-dimensional cable and we could go to Atlantis and get that sweet mermaid puss

rick probably has some gadget that does both just so he doesn't have to waste time dealing with either. Plus Rick would probably just keep to himself in the garage 99% of the time too.

If you get to be friends with Rick he can clone ScarJo waifu for you

it's women that spend 2 hours to put on a mountain of makeup that look like shit without it, makeup is supposed to be used lightly

Rick: would constantly drag you on adventures where you possibly die and go through a ringer of psychological disorders. Also probably shitty about paying rent as well as being perpetually drunk and a total slob.

Sheldon: is difficult to be around due to autism/aspergers/whatever he has, but at least he keeps his shit clean and has personal boundaries.

Scarlett: is incredibly wealthy, successful actress, meaning she'll be gone filming, leaving you alone and by all accounts a really nice person, meaning when she's around, you can hang with her. Bonus being hot actress or at least knowing other hot actresses.

The choice is very clear.

Yeah only to have it try and murder you or some shit. Even when rick has good intentions everything turns into a giant clusterfuck.

a virgin wrote this

Rick.
Just imagine waking up and he turned himself into a pickle hahaha lmao thats so random, just like me.

Plus we would go in all kinds of wacky advantures

>the bother

The middle one because within the Mary Sue-ish logic of the show he would be able to give me godlike HG Wells machines as gifts in return for me handing him booze or whatever. Plus I have a few homes so if he trashes one I can live elsewhere while I use his tech to earn wonga to buy other houses and ScoJo.

The green guy would be my pic for twink who eats my toenail clippings.

you have to be 18 or over to post here

She got them reduced you retard

>Annoying twat
>RICK FUCKING SANCHEZ
>Literally who?

Hard decision.

The shortsighted man wants to raid scarjos panties. The patrician knows Rick would come up with complex panty raiding schemes that will surpass metal gear.