Taking my niece and nephew to see Moana on Friday. What am I in for...

Taking my niece and nephew to see Moana on Friday. What am I in for? I really don't wanna sit through another irritating kid's movie.

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Māui_(Māori_mythology)
youtu.be/79DijItQXMM
youtube.com/watch?v=a8k3b-QNbhs
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

>see disney movie for children
>whine that you are seeing a disney movie for children

kys

>lying about taking kids to hide you're going alone
>acting like disney is for kiddies to look mature
hey. it's disney. it's good. have fun

A very simple but well-made "lets go on a journey to get the mcguffin over there" movie. I have no way to gauge what you like about Disney movies but I'm sure you'll be happy to know it doesn't have romance.

It's for one of their birthday's.

I'm guessing you don't have any kids in your life.

Good songs
The Rock is the best part.
The pig is barely in the film.
The chicken is funny in a "he's literally retarded" sort of way.
Moanna herself is bland

do you think Moana is much stronger then an average woman? could she beat up and average guy and force hi to kiss her husky calves?

It's the only piece of animated media in the past few years to actually do women empowerment right, so probably.

>i'm taking kids to see a children's movie
>y-you're gonna see it alone, just like me!!!
go back to your waifu thread, loser

she's athletic as fuck in the movie. I could see it.

actually i went with my whole family but ok

>force him to kiss her husky calves?
>force

Like she'd have to force it.

Just smoke a bit of weed before you go see it and you'll enjoy it.

Consider THE COCONUT

>on Sup Forums
>calling anyone a loser

Heihei was a comedic relief character done well. Not as down your throat as past animal/magical creature sidekicks in Disney movies.

The WHAT

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Māui_(Māori_mythology)

His last, fatal trick was on the Goddess Hine-nui-te-pō. In attempting to make mankind immortal by changing into a worm, entering her vagina and leaving by her mouth while she slept, she crushed him with the obsidian teeth in her vagina.

>crushed by a giant vagina while attempting to grant humanity immortality

Is there any purer definition of hero?

shiny was good even though jermaine clement or whatever can't sing worth a damn

best part was the rock's song. he sang and it was surprisingly above average. not bad, not alright, still not amazing, but good enough to be surprised enough to enjoy it

he died doing what he loved

>Good songs
There's singing in this?
Dropped

>BEHOLD!
>THE MAN WITH NO TASTE.

Just got back from watching and I would say
>better than Tangled

>Hating Jermaine Clement.

>Only failed because his brothers are fuck-ups.

>giant vagina dentata

I still can't get over the fact that I was so entertained by a rubber chicken gag for a whole 100 minutes.

Alan Tudyk deserves every cent he gets for making clucking noises.

Get your body ready to AUE AUE TE FENUA TE MALIE for a whole week after.

Even Let It Go got out of my system faster.

Don't you even make the fucking joke user.

this Boom Knuckles really looks weird

I laugh everytime I think about the ocean locking him in the boat. They had some really strong gags with HeiHei

Moana got GOAT toward the end though

The bit where she declares to Granny Spirit Manta without a shred a doubt in her mind, and the bit where she just lets an angry lava goddess that just wrecked a demigod barrel towards her were just so phenomenal. Makes a grown man cry.

Wish they let her handle the reprise of We Know the Way at the end, it'd be a perfect passing the torch moment and mark of her journey's end.

They were well handled for sure, it could very easily go the way of the Minions.

Also, they sure pulled a fast one on us, making us think the pig was gonna be the animal companion. It's almost deliberate I swear.

>Alan Tudyk was the chicken.
I fucking love how Tudyk is a Disney VA regular now.

10/10 would let myself get violently raped by every single character.

TRIPS OF TRUTH
Whoever fapped to this while watching it in theaters in the Chicago area, shame on you.If I knew where you live, I'd burn slander onto your front yard.

I'd rather [/spoiler]be shiny[/spoiler]

The movie starts out good, but the finale is the most generic thing I've ever seen.

I think I gonna go watch it on saturday. Hope it is good. I love Disney but not all their movies.

If you liked Aladdin, Little Mermaid, Heracles, and Princess and the Frog, you'll probably like this. It's the same directors and it shows. The movie feels like those four thrown in a blender.

The Lion King, too. But because Disney drove that comparison into the ground by labeling past movies as "The biggest movie since The Lion King!" no one wants to apply the Lion King comparison to the movie that actually is similar to it. It's reached a level of gratuity at this point sadly.

Hawaii fag here, i actually hated all the songs. I went for the feels of seeing polynesian mythology, cool water effects and a generic adventure story, warped up in a Disney film. Its essentially Legend of Zelda: Windwaker, the movie.

*correction, i didn't like the singalongs, but the atmospheric music was boss.

>Its essentially Legend of Zelda: Windwaker, the movie.
You better not be lying, motherfucker. Now I have to see this.

>plant to go see a disney movie
>expecting it not to have songs

This:
youtu.be/79DijItQXMM

>atmospheric music
It's called a score.

>a score

>>Also, they sure pulled a fast one on us, making us think the pig was gonna be the animal companion. It's almost deliberate I swear.
Initially it was going to be an animal companion, but the pig was cut out. That's why it's still on all the merch.

javascript:quote('88026240

Holy shit, that's so true.we could play a game of references inserted in this movie: tattoos = the muses from Hercules , moana = Ariel and jasmine, shiny second part = prince Ali reprise by jafar.

Lets not forget Pixar formulaTM

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imo i think Frozen is the next "Lion King", that movie out of nowhere that became a financial juggernaut and the previous disney movie is Emperor's new Groove complete with documentary with dissatisfied creators.

Checked and correct

Camrip fucking when, I've been hovering around kat for days and the only Moana shit uploaded so far has been viruses and porn.

There's a few bad jokes but nothing too cringeworthy. Its a decent movie that looks goegeous and has the best disney soundtrack I have ever heard. The characters and story are a tad predictable though when all is said and done but they're still good and the pacing is good enough that it doesn't bother you.

This is one of the greatest pics of all time

It should be in a museum with a plaque that says "Cheeky Cunt".

that turtle scene was weird.

That's why the ocean chose her, because it saw her rescue the turtle.

from what i heard the story drasticall changed, but baby moana was one of the things that stayed.

is the topless in this scene? do we get to see her from the front?

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Well they're not your kids, and your lack of enthusiasm implies you were forced to take them, so yeah, you're probably a loser.

And what is score?
Atmospheric music.

A loser who takes on responsbility and can be trusted to take care of his family for a couple of hours? Yeah, op is a real asshole.

do creators have twitter?

Is Ocean better then Cold is the important thing.

It's a baby. So yes.

Nah they're pretty old school.

Personally, I feel like it hit a lot of the same beats as Pocahontas, what with Moana grappling with having to choose between doing right by her people as their next leader and going her own way against her father's wishes. Even the grandma gave off some serious Grandmother Willow vibes, especially after she died. A lot of her Jedi Ghost message on the boat was essentially just a repeat of "listen with your heart, you will understand".

The similarities sorta fall off once the story gets rolling in earnest, though, it definitely comes into its own. Very strong flick, I'd rate it higher than Tangled and Frozen in terms of CG Disney Princess films.

All that said, it's still very much a Disney Princess film at the end of the day. If that kind of movie doesn't float your boat, this one won't change your opinion.

>war faces
youtube.com/watch?v=a8k3b-QNbhs

ah, okay.

When those noises started coming from the boat I was so upset the fucking pig had snuck on board or something but thank christ they made the correct choice this time around.

A Flight of the Concords Crab singing a Bowie like number

The coconut.

How powerful is Moana's control over the ocean? How present is the sentient water? Because having the sea on your side in a story like this sounds like it would eliminate a lot of tension/drama.

Ocean sentient

Sentient. The ocean likes her but fucks around, coming close to killing her on two occasions.

I'd rather YOU be shiny

>What am I in for?
>I really don't wanna sit through another irritating kid's movie.
It's another generic kid's movie.

Seriously, the songs are pretty good and the characters are likeable enough. But it definitely moves at the speed of plot, and everything happens precisely because the plot needs "some event" to move onto the next part. (i.e. they get attacked, not because it make sense to be attacked, but because the characters needed to go through some conflict together for the next scene)

It's not bad, especially if you like Disney or animated films. But there isn't much reason to go back and re-watch it. Your kids are likely to enjoy it, though.

>ancient polynesian woman
>not topless

Immersion ruined.

>ancient
Was the movie really given a timeframe? I mean, it's clearly before mass colonization, but not much beyond that.

Moana is pure.

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2-3 more days

What Tangled? It sits where a lot of great Disney movies sit: as the usher to the renaissance. It's overwhelming quality put Disney back on the map and paced the way for the bext movie to plow Disney into the mainstream again but otherwise because of time and tide it'll always be a sleeper hit and a cult classic.

I'm sure you've thought of plenty other movies that fit that description by now.

when i said"previous" i meant "the one before moana"

i should've formed it better. mea culpa

>god its my stupid kid's birthday and i have to go see some stupid movie

shit parent detected

Maybe not even necessarily before then. Europe never gave much of a fuck about Polynesia because they didn't have gold or spices.

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Europeans thought they were uncultured savages. Europe only invaded Polynesia to spread Christianity. If this were set in the post-missionary era I'd expect Moana to wear a Mu'u-mu'u.

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>There's a Moana event going on in Kingdom Hearts Unchained X right now.
>Prizes consist of a Moana-themed outfit for your avatar and Moana and Maui Medals.

Neat, I guess that means a Moana world being in KH3 is more likely now.

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>Kidnaps two kids he found on a playground
>Calls them his niece and nephew
>Will proceed to do terrible things to them while wearing a grass skirt

user, I thought after the shootings and r9k event, you guys were going to sort of stop announcing the sick shit you do on here before doing it.

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definitely post 1000AD for rapid expansion era Polynesians.

They are not all that super ancient as people like to imagine just about every eastern culture out there.

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