Kinoplex goes really dark

>kinoplex goes really dark
>randomly throw popcorns at people

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>kinoplex goes really dark
>start crying because you're alone and some faggot threw popcorn at you

>literally same fagging
fuck off loser

...

are you a sherluck homes?

>lights go dark
>start vaping because I like to blow it into the projector beam and pretend its a space ship tractor beam and I am in engineering

>kinoplex goes really dark
>throw popcorn at people
>stare at the nigger next to me so people think he did it

>sitting next to other people

>some faggot's falcon eats all the popcorn before it lands on anyone

just drip a couple of drops of strong chili on it first and it wont be a problem anymore

>kinoplex goes really dark
>randomly throw popcorn at people
>faggots turn around to glare at whoever did it
>duck behind the seats

>kinoplex goes dark
>wanna drink something
>there seems to be something in the straw
>grap my flashlight and look through it
>it's a dead bug

le kino n le frog :3

how did a dead bug get into your straw?

and why were you drinking out of a straw? are you 12?

I lolled

>randomly scream AYAYAYA when an asia appears on screen

>hiss whenever a jewish actor appears on screen
>if anyone asks i say i thought they were the bad guy

>Kinoplex goes really dark
>Throw popcorn on myself
>Look around yelling, asking who did it

I've been to the kinoplex with two genuine cunts who did shit like this and let me tell you, I've never laughed so hard in my life. There was a dweeb in the row in front of us and one of them put the empty popcorn bucket on his head like a hat and the guy was so shook he just sat there with it on his head.

Half way through, I'll call him P, threw half a bottle of coke into the middle of the cinema (from the far right side seating) and just watched it bounce off someone's head.

This was all during X-Men 2

>tfw people next to you looks with disgust

>how did a dead bug get into your straw?
I guess they stored the straws for too long.

>and why were you drinking out of a straw? are you 12?
I'm in fact older than that, but I won't tell my age on Sup Forums ;)

>security guard notices it and plays back the security cam footage on the huge screen

this is my greatest fear along with the kiss cam going all over the audience then stops on me and the a girl next to me which actually is the gf of the dude next to her, not me then everyone laughs as I try to hide behind the seat

>kinoplex goes really dark
>watch simultany the RLM review on my phone

>kiss cam is my greatest fear

youtube.com/watch?v=hYwgUV0Q-YU

>kinoplex goes really dark
>turn on my flashlight so no monsters can get me

>kinoplex goes really dark
>need to BRAPP

>do it during dark parts
>fail to realise smells get stronger when it's dark

They should have ended it at pees sitting down. After that it was just stupid.

>kinoplex goes darks
>trying to find seat
>slip on popcorn grease
>fall face-first into piss aisle

>enter cinema room
>it's pitch dark and the movie has already started
>get down on all four and slowly make my way to one of the popcorn troughs
>find a spot that's not occupied and start eating while enjoying the movie
>notice the popcorn has a weird taste to it but think nothing of it
>probably old popcorn
>suddenly the lights turn on
>look around and notice people staring at me
>realize I've been eating out of the puke trough

>kinoplex goes dark
>stranger rests her bare feet on my lap

WHAT THE FUCK?

>go to visit friend in the UK
>decide to go to the local theater
>all American made movies playing with all American actors
>so much for British culture
>before kino airs, PSA comes on telling all kino goers to face Mecca and begin daily prayer to Allah
>entire audience except me bows and begins prayer
>friend is frantically tugging on my pants practically begging me to get down an pray
>tell him no, I'm American and only bow before my American God, not some heathen false deity
>Queen's guard bursts in and arrest me for being intolerant towards other cultures
>as I'm in the dungeons they search my hotel room for dangerous weapons like spoons
>a tooth brush is found
>never having seen one before the Brits assume it's a magic wand
>get put on a train to Azkaban with other criminal "wizards"
>train doesn't go anywhere, just crashes off cliff into the ocean
>use my superior American genetics to swim home
>mfw

>randomly take a shit when an Indian comes on screen

>get middle seat in the last row of the cinema room
>sit right under the projector
>most intense part of the whole movie
>stand up and start making shadow puppets on screen
>never allowed in that cinema again

>start dancing in front of the screen when a song is played

>kinoplex goes really dark
>spoil the end of the movie for everyoen

I would've knocked those fuckers lights out.

I go full SJW when it comes to keeping order in the kinoplex.

I've harassed people using their phones, threw popcorn/flicked soda at people talking, shouted loudly in the middle of the movie at people being dicks. I use my autism like a superpower.

sure lil thing buddy

>bored during a movie
>non-stop kick the seat in front of me where a lonely guy with glasses is sitting just so he eventually snaps and my two homies an I can laugh at such a beta loser

>kinoplex goes dark
>kiss cam spotlight goes on me
>i'm alone
>i just look away and hope they stop
>they won't, kiss cam locked on me alone in my aisle
>starting to sweat
>everyone giving angry looks
>movie won't start unless i kiss someone
>look around, palms sweating
>find old lady
>approach slowly, she's frowning
>offers her cheek and rolls her eyes
>i kiss her on the cheek
>my first kiss
>best day of my life

>lights darken
>throw rocks at niggers

>rocks
>in a cinema

>and your OTHER rock

>kinoplex goes really dark
>get shot in the shoulder
>sorry my dude, just making sure the safety is on

Every fucking time, this is why I pirate movies

haha Finn Fred

>pirate movei
>turn lite off
>thump thump
>is police
>bark bark
>dog bite n pull
>man say stay on ground
>ow

>never having seen one

worst frog, kill yourselves

YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE

...

...

SPANG STAHP BULLI MI FRENS

>t.butthurt snaggletoothed britshit

with pup corn?

>In a twelve year old
Babby teeth don't matter.

>kinoplex goes really dark
>shout out giv! everytime i see boobies

>Finish popcorn before the movie even starts

birds are immune to capsaicin so it wouldn't work

>kinoplex goes dark
>stranger rests her bare feet on my lap
>pretend I'm reaching to drink from my straw while still looking at the screen
>suck on her toes instead
>run to the toilet to masturbate before her boyfriend has a chance to beat me up

okay

super glue then

>kinoplex goes dark
>someone screams
>lights turn back on
>someone is dead on the floor in a pool of blood and the killer is unknown

can't believe these fucking tropes man

this image is horribly sad. please don't ever post it again. thanks.

Genuinely unironically have had this happen to me before and I'll never forget it.

Rekt

>kinoplex goes dark
>person in front of me didn't activate his almonds
>movie is ruined

>all the doors close shut
>the movie doesn't continue until the perpetrator is caught

>implying he didn't already cum in his pants

>kinoplex goes dark
>then the lights turn back on
>Criss Angel is in front of the screen

>lights go low
>previews finally starting
>pull out my roast beef I snuck in
>mfw forgot the gravy

MInD fREaK

>the sound system plays a very light rain pattering noise as if there's a storm outside

Aesthetic as fuck, that's why the Kinoplex is the only option for me.

>the suspects are you, a retired cop, a blonde bimbo, a vietnam vet and a 80's has-been

are you ready?

>every time the scren goes black someone in the audience dies
>movie trailers start playing
>after 1 minute there's only 2 people left

What movie?

>kinoplex goes really dark
>start crying because I'm afraid of the dark

>Crash of thunder
>Lights go out for 10 seconds
>The retired cop is dead
>You have red stains on your shirt
>No one believes you when you say you got started by the thunder and spilled some of your cherry icee

>kinoplex goes dark
>Brightlite Krew comes out to get us pump for the flick
>"Gotta get that" starts playing

>waiting for the movie to start
>kinoplex goes dark
>suddenly get hit on the head
>wake up outside
>tfw movie was a ruse to sell popcorn

>the screen turns into a giant fireplace

comfy

>mfw i was driving by my local theater last week and saw a falcon perched on one of the streetlights

>waiting for the movie to start
>faces of people in the theater show up on the big screen
>you have to rate them
>as usual you got 3/10
>my kinoplex is using the "worst rate has to benaked" rule

...

bravo
you killed the threed

>roll opened bottle of pop down the slope

>enter the theater to watch IT
>lots of young qts with the beta bfs
>"m-maybe I'll get some" I think
>assigned seats meme me a fat mom bitch on my left and a nu-male on my right

what language were those American movies in ya fat cunt?

>not taking the chance to sit awkwardly next to your fellow man

>kinoplex goes dark
>make a silent but smelly fart