SETTLING DOWN: Comedian Amy Schumer, 36, Announces She's Done With Her Bad Boy Phase

A-lister Amy Schumer is ready to find a nice guy and settle down, she said. "I'm done with bad boys."

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ok

fat ugly bitch

>36
>not married
>not even remotely attractive
she's fucked

I pity the beta cuck who settles with this obese roastie unfunny whore.

stop talking about her.

this is the only place where im reminded that shes alive.

Who the fuck would put his dick into this disease-ridden sow.

No she's not. A cuck is always around the corner.

Sup Forums def shits on attractive women for the memes or out of sheer autism sometimes but there is not a straight male soul on this planet that could call her attractive unless youre irredeemably desperate

>A-lister
Is she really considered that?

I'm not into bestiality, personally

Why? Whoever she settles down with will be as much of a cunt as she is.

Virgins detected, not all women look like your porn whores or cartoon girls.

>be Amy
>fat and obnoxious
>Nasty sex with bad boys who put it in her ass
>Constant nasty jokes
>okay done with that.
>Cuck comes running
>2019
>Amy Schumer looks beautiful as she's spotted on the street with her beautiful baby and husband

What's your point?

>rich as fuck
She can always afford plenty of he-whores

L M A O congratulations to whatever literal cuckold ends up marrying this infertile used up saggy pile of jewish cummy laden dogshit
who could possible have standards that comically low?

you'd think she'd have found a nigger by now, they're the only ones who'd marry her.

>A-lister Amy Schumer is ready to find a nice guy and settle down, she said. "I'm done with bad boys."

Like fucking clockwork.

If means cut those standard a notch or no woman will marry you.

sup roastie, i slam on bumble all the time and amy is disgusting and you know it

Yeah? And not all women look like Amy so why would anyone settle with this cock holster?

what makes you think i wanna marry them

Most of tchem don't look like Amy either, and thank fuck for that.

I assume she's rich. I'd put up with her for a few years if it meant getting some sweet divorce/widow money.

I'd even fuck her if I was allowed to keep a VR headset on.

let's just get this out of the way

>I'm OP
>I hate women
>Women are inferior to men in every single possible way
>Women are more likely to cheat, cause violence, do everything negative while nothing postive
>I am going to post everything I got off r9k when someone disagrees with me
>Also beta, cuck, never had a girlfriend, ect ect ect

there, thread done

This is true.

But who?

Just to end the thread, Belladonna is married with kids

>Amy's new standup special MARRIED coming to Netflix 2020
>"So the baby like totalllllllyyyyy ruined my pussy. Like I had to call my mother to apologize for being born. Like my husband, he's a trooper. He eats my mangled pussy like it's fondue and I don't know how he does it. I felt so bad about it one night I just had to give him a break and say Peter, it's okay. You can lick my asshole instead."
>Audience laughter causes another Mexican earthquake

Physically she's above average, but her personality stinks.

I don't think "don't look worse than Amy Schumer" is a very high standard.

>Physically she's above average

the chef's special tonight is fresh fish

White knight hoping amy will look his desperate way and acknowledge that he's standing up for her.

>2017
>falling on the marriage trap

at least shes attractive

>millionaire
>famous

Not really

oh, sweaty

she's not rich enough for me to let her suck my dick

She's not ugly, but she's not that pretty

remember no matter how trashy a woman or her countless past mistakes there will always be a little white cuck to support her.

how her footgame though

And her husband looks exactly like I'd expect him too.

He's still taller than her though, sorry manlets.

Yeah they look like your fatass girlfriend and ugly botch your of a mother.

That's actually what I think she'd smell like. She leads the charge of 'macho' frat women who smell like BO because they're trying to be like dudes

>Physically she's above average

Amy?
What are you doing on Sup Forums?

she's rich i would marry her in a second

Great, only beta weaklings who can't provide for themselves will find her wealth and fame attractive enough to tolerante he disgusting body, ugly face and obnoxious character.

He'll make her miserable, like all weak betas do.

>She's fucked.

>Physically she's above average

Is that her this year?
She still looks great

10/10 perfection

He meant weight-wise.

aziz ansari

yes i know he's Indian

Funny seeing the lifecycle of the roastie occurring so publicly

He's married

...

reee

did anyone actually see that movie of hers that bombed earlier this summer? no bully if anyone did i just want to know how bad it really was

...

>only 30 more years until he dies and I can have all his money

Man that's spot on

He isn't. He broke up with his cook gf.

kermit the frog

She wants a goy.

jesus christ

this is how i picture most of Sup Forums looks like

shes like the product of ganon raping princess zelda and the illegitimate offspring was born in our reality

Found Amy's writer

i can no longer tell reality from satire

>Belladonna is married with kids
Really? I thought she had herpes?

Like 90% of sexually active adults have herpes, mate

found the carrier

She does. Why would that matter to a man who has seen literally any of her porn and still wants to marry her?

>Physically she's above average

unusually good post

came here to post this etc

lol i bet she never does anal for him.

most of the ones that look like Amy tend to not have had a small country in their gaping canyons formerly known as vagina

She's had a baseball bat up there.
Why would he even want to?

Well, in weight she is quitte above lots of women

>I don't want to bring work home babe

youtube.com/watch?v=e8teRxOSNHs

Uncanny

ive fucked ugly/fat chicks. trust me its much better being alone

>the smug virgin

holy shit, talk about not knowing when she hit the wall

>im TOTALLY done with bad boys now I'm 60, I swear. Come on over, boys!

inb4 this joke happens in reality

shes had two movies and a show she doesn't deserve it but shes a list for sure

>get old and busted
>sucked lots and lots of nigger dick already
>rode multiple Chads a night
>caught literally every STD in the book
>"I am ready to settle down now, I need a bet-, I mean nice guy"
Women

maybe i am confused about definitions but i looked that dude she broke up with up on instagram

he was a furniture designer that supported hillary clinton

shit man u cant give up that easy... Kafkaesque

Amy Schumer is not B-list status wise. She occupies that Melissa Mcarthy tier of A list. Can get films starring her with wide releases easily. And $8 million dollars for a book deal. She's also a very well connected jew.

But marriage its a patriarchal institution

i was on the rebound in college and remember being on the bed with a 4/10, it was almost like the jerry seinfeld expression of "fuck this im out" when my senses came to me and i just walked out of her room and went straight home

Amazing what a ticking biological clock can do.

Thays herpes simplex you fucking moron, not genital herpes

>Physically she's above average

Oh please, she is B-list now, which is why again (((media))) is trying to push her.

Her last movie Snatched absolutely bombed, her Leather Special was so poorly rated that (((Netflix))) decided to change their system.

Mediocre 'comedian' getting stardom through jewish nepotism, fades away when the (((media))) push vanes.

Soon the cycle will repeat with a new jew...

lmao

I'm a bit afraid of what the tribe will pull as a last move to retain cultural influence, to be honest