My goal as a film critic is to remain as objective as possible. What does this mean? Well it means that...

>My goal as a film critic is to remain as objective as possible. What does this mean? Well it means that, unlike other popular youtube critics who claim to be objective reviewers, I am not allowed to let my subjective preferences for what is 'good/bad' dictate whether or not a film is objectively good or bad. I am emotionless when I enter a theater and I remain emotionless until I get home and rate the film on imdb. So, if I don't let my personal preferences dictate my appreciation of a film, what does? Well, a few things. First of all flaws are the most important factor when it comes to being an objective film critic. If you give a film a positive review despite it's blaring plot holes, continuity errors, audio/visual synchronizing issues then you're a subjective critic. These are what I'm on the lookout when I watch a movie, they're at the top of my list. Plot, acting, and story are subordinate because they aren't as impressive to me as a flawless film. That's why Michael Haneke is my favorite film maker of all time.
is he right?

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idk I didn't read but he fucks dogs lol

is that the guy from YourDogSucksMyCockDotOrg?

Can we have one fucking thread about the premier movie reviewer on Youtube without denigrating his sexuality.

1. no
2. fuck off adam
3.
>premiere movie reviewer
like saying he's the tastiest piece of shit

>another dogfucker thread

What a pretentious asshat.

someone tell him that animals can't give consent

No, because reviewing cinema, while having an objective aspect, is mostly subjective. There are films that have huge plot holes where it doesn't really matter because that's not the point of the film.

Sounds like he only cares about the craftsmanship of filmmaking and not the sum of its parts.

>le film is subjective

It is though up to a certain point. Different people have different tastes, even high brow movie critics. You can't possibly enjoy everything, even if it's considered a great film.

>up to a certain point
impossible

>I am not allowed to let my subjective preferences for what is 'good/bad' dictate whether or not a film is objectively good or bad.

Although there are some objective qualities to film, it is generally a subjective medium, and reviews should be treated as such.

>le I need to believe that films can be objectively good or bad so that I can affirm my tastes as the "correct" tastes

It's so boring to sheep the opinions of others.

So Sharktopus is just as good as 2001: A space odyssey to you?

not to me but there are people out there that might think this way

>wow i really like the characters in this movie and the plot is fantastic. oh wait, was that a continuity error? 5/10

And they're retarded

no

>plot holes, continuity errors, audio/visual synchronizing is more important than Plot, acting, and story

idk bro if you are objective shouldn't each aspect be equal to the other?

It is though. For example, people can generally agree on what constitutes objectively good dialogue, but they may disagree on plot, substance, cinematography, or something else.

Or take satire. Some satire needs to have objectively bad plots for it to make sense, but that doesn't mean it's a bad movie.

Reviewing film is completely subjective. Objective reviews are worthless because film reviews are opinion pieces. He is not objective, he just thinks technical aspects are more important than emotional ones.

yes

Alright where is everyone getting this YMS animal fucking meme from?
Where has he stated that he fucked a canine b4?

Yeah yeah dog fucker

>people can generally agree on what constitutes objectively good dialogue
people have been primed to believe that certain things are good or bad, doesn't mean they're right about it. it's just the general consensus because we all responded to certain stimuli in the same way growing up. you're a worm in the hole of a fragmented cyber structure that has molded you to believe that (1) jared leto owes $500 million to his record company and that's the only reason he keeps appearing in films. (2) the music companies that own him force film companies to hire him so that a cut of his paycheck for blade runner can go straight to whatever studio paid to film his music videos from when he was a in a faggot boy band that made tunes for faggot boys and goth whores. for this reason you can't claim that because so many people agree on something, it is objective law. the general public agrees that the movies worth paying for are superhero flicks and fast and furious 17, does this mean they're objectively more worth your money than your favorite indie director's movies?

Why the fuck do we have to explain it every thread? Did you just start coming here? Lurk more faggot.

Yet more proof that Haneke dosen't make art.

Wow look at here are you the president of the Mr.YMSDogFuckerMemeLover fanclub, stop saying some of the most asine shit without providing some factual context you dumb mongoloid.

>you're a worm in the hole of a fragmented cyber structure that has molded you to believe that (1) jared leto owes $500 million to his record company and that's the only reason he keeps appearing in films. (2) the music companies that own him force film companies to hire him so that a cut of his paycheck for blade runner can go straight to whatever studio paid to film his music videos from when he was a in a faggot boy band that made tunes for faggot boys and goth whores.
What does that have to do with anything?

When you're of the opinion that fucking dogs is fine, it's hard to take any other opinion you have seriously

He fucks dogs and thinks he was born a horse. What I'm trying to say is go fuck yourself.

Looking at tiny continuity problems and plot holes instead of the bigger picture is literal autism. Refusing to engage with any of the thematic or emotional aspects of a film and sticking to things that can be measured objectively is cowardly.

fake quote

Yeah but it's easier to repeat what your film teacher told you was good and bad than to come to your own conclusions about a movie.

youtube.com/watch?v=X1nnNz_Tewk

LURK MOR XD

>Michael Haneke

further proof that Haneke fucking blows, you need to be an emotionless robot hack in order to "enjoy" his movies

>Being objective about film
Just because you frame your opinions as fact, doesn't mean that they are facts.

>I am emotionless when I enter a theater and I remain emotionless until I get home and rate the film on imdb.
jfc

>Every Phillip Seymour Hoffman movie
>TENOUTTATENOUTTATENOUTTATEN
>anything with a French title
>TENOUTTATENOUTTATENOUTTATEN
>anything where the plot and script could fit on a cocktail napkins but has experimental elements anywhere in the film
>TENOUTTATENOUTTATENOUTTATEN
>anything remotely fun
>WHAT A FUCKING MESS OF A MOVIE 2/100

>arf arf

>millennial pleb problems

>He is not objective, he just thinks technical aspects are more important than emotional ones.
Pretty much this. The fact that he even thinks he can apply objectivity to art critique is laughable and shows a thought process like an edgy teenager that cares more about his ideas than real knowledge or the values of the medium he thinks he knows about. If it was even possible, that quote made me lose more respect for Adam.

There's no way to talk about films objectively, and if he doesn't realize that, then he doesn't understand film, and he doesn't understand what objectivity actually is.

I watch movies to have a good time but i'm not criticizing anything.

Adam here.
I have never fucked a dog, I made a point about how it would be okay to have sex with animals if slaughtering them for food isn't taking it too far.

>My goal as a dog fucker is to be as objective as possible. What does this mean? Well it means that, unlike normal human beings who claim that bestiality is a hideous and immoral crime, I am not allowed to let my subjective preferences for what is 'good/bad' dictate whether or not a dog feels good around my cock.I am emotionless when I enter a dog and I remain emotionless until I get home and rate the dog on beastforum.

So it's true of what they say about people keeping their personal stuff off their work stuff

It's objectively kino to jam your ass with peanut butter and let sparky lick it out. LOOK HE ENJOYS IT, CONSENT LET ME FUCK YOUR DOG.

Actually, proof of it is posted in every fucking thread and has been posted for at least several years. If you are new to Sup Forums, you should lurk for at least a year before attempting to post or you just look like a fucking moron.

where did he say this

How does one remain objective on a subjective medium?

Dog here.
Adam fucked me in the ass on twelve thousand six hundred and ninety seven occasions. I cry myself to sleep every night, and pray for the sweet release of death.

> If you are new to Sup Forums, you should lurk for at least a year before attempting to post or you just look like a fucking moron.
actually you're fucking dumb because I already looked it up seconds flat. So wasting my years of my life lurking a YMS subreddit thread isn't worth my time.

>I already looked it up
Wow, amazing work slugger. So what you're saying is that you didn't need to be spoonfed like a little retard like you were demanding?

Nice digits

Hi Adam,
Jacob here, if I may respond to agree of the finer points of your argument.
1. You're a faggot
2. You're a furry
3. You're a FUCKING LEAF
And I do have a follow-up question regarding the morality of having sex with animals:
Why do you fuck dogs when you degenerate?

he's not emotionless in a theater. he just has an underdeveloped, childish personality and a poor grasp on the arts. his critiques are almost always surface level tripe that other people gloss over for a reason: they aren't relevant.

This movie is called *name*. It was released in *year* and is *duration* hours long. It was shot on *resolution* film. I give it a *statistical average* score.

perfect

So I just saw BABY DRIVER AND LET ME TELL YOU IT WAS A MOVIE! like many movies this movie has actors in it.there were points throughout the movie where characters would interact with each other and actually speak with one another. During the car chase scenes, music played. The character who plays Baby is a male.i give this movie a film/10. I would not be surprised to see this movie win movie of the year as Baby driver is indeed a movie, and it was released this year!

COMEDY GOLD !

I prefer fucking plants

Durr plont.

does YMS fuck dogs, or let dogs fuck him? Is there a functional difference?

>never got around to david lynch because the eraserhead dvd didn't have a chapter selection scene so he couldn't fall asleep halfway through and finish the rest the next morning
this guy is patrician? lol

did he really say that?

yes

Reminder he unironically thinks Rick and Morty is one of the greatest television shows ever made

You can't spell all of that without the phrase "I fuck dogs"

...

t. dogfucker