You find a magic lamp with a genie, what three wishes will you make to fix the world?
Let's assume the genie is like in the original stories (as in, not Robin Williams and bro-tier) and will try to actively fuck you up using loopholes in your wishes if possible. All the usual restrictions apply as well, no extra wishes and so on.
:^]
>wasting the first two wishes into something that can be taken care of with one
Either wish myself to be in every way but physical appearance that of Cell from the animated series Dragon Ball Z and go about purging the planet of shitskins myself OR wish the genie to do it for me.
But yeah making the genie into a qt3.14 waifu is pretty good too.
He's okay living with a "girl" with a man's mind. Makes your neurons synapse
>genie is actively attempting to fuck you up
Just wish for some super simple things that either cant backfire or if they dont wont go terribly wrong.
1. Kill Soros and his family and only Soros and his family and don´t do anything else besides killing him.
2: Teleport every refugee who has come since August 2015 into the EU back to Syria. Only the refugees and nothing else.
3. Kill every member of every muslim terrorist group by chocking them.
>Teleport every refugee who has come since August 2015 into the EU back to Syria
Why would you teleport hundreds of thousands of Iraqis and Afghans into Syria?
Kill all people who are niggers or had a nigger parent and are still alive.
Who cares where they land?
kill every 1%er other than Trump's family
literally can't fuck this one up
The genie proceeds to kill the 1% of people that are the closest to your own DNA.
The iq
Of everyone in the world is now 150
People stop spanking
No more state
1. Tell me everything about genies and how all of it works. (in case there's a trap, like: once all wishes are granted you are trapped in the lamp and the genie goes free)
2. Let me have absolute control over all light in the universe for its lifetime.
3. Either wish the genie free or wish to be excempt from whatever negative stuff I found out with the first wish.
With the second wish I can make individuals or entire countries go blind until they listen to my demands.
Can't help feeling that you are wasting a ton of wishes for accomplishing only one thing, just use your first wish to make sure the genie can cause nothing that would be negative in your opinion.
honestly, I don't know. I guess my first wish would be asking what wish would guarantee the optimal path to growth and harmony of the human world, with the least amount of suffering added
The world becomes infested with entitled liberals.
>1. No negative side effects or loopholes, do exactly as I say
>2. Remove all niggers from existence
>3. Remove all kikes from existence
>Implying I don't want them to backfire
My only wish would be for me to have infinite wealth, inevitably causing the genie to use the INFLATION CAUSES GLOBAL MARKETS TO DIE XD bit but little does he know that's all I've ever wanted.
What if it's not the genie that's causing it but the lamp or it's creator? There could be so many things hidden.
Also I wouldn't know what else to wish for anyway.
Make Islam not pure degeneracy(like a Protestant movement, based on enlightenment teachings, but word the wish in such a way that it doesn't backfire. Do the same for Jews to make them less kikey)
Make Australia a global superpower
Set the genie free
You could always just word it in a way that nothing you perceive as negative will follow from your encounter with the genie.
>wish to have the ability to manipulate probability however I want with nothing that I would consider to be ill consequences
Then just do whatever by manipulating probability
Not an argument
Then he'll do something negative that isn't perceivable to me. Can never be too careful.
Lambda pls go.
Tesla P95D
Big dick
Loyal GF.
I'm good for life.
Congrats, you have wished humanity into the Borg Collective. Resistance is futile.
>throw afghanis and Iraqis and other millions in Syria
>literally the most dangerous place of the planet
Mein Freund, you don't have to be so cold blooded. Throw them in Saudi Arabia :^)
Genie kills everyone with an IQ lower than 150, including yourself.
Sell the thing. Use up one wish for something really simple and inconsequential, I like pizza so yeah. 2nd wish is to prove to the buyer it works, 1 wish left. The buyer uses up the wish and is left unable to prove it grants wishes or get back at me with it.
Then use the money to help.
Or Israel :^)
>I ODed on Molyneux
1)Replace all African nig Nog's worldwide with Nordics.
2) French revolution and liberalism never happened
3)Greater Germany exists.
this
I either wish slavery never happened or alternatively that blacks cease to exist before after 1700.
Secondly I wish that sjw's and feminist didn't exist.
Thirdly I wish that Islam and all of it's teachings, books and any sort of culture around it ceases to exist completely.
Ah shit, can I get a forth wish to get rid of Jews?
>make racemixing with blacks impossible
>all countries with white majority should become 100% white
>kill everyone in the arab world that has already killed someone (or was responsible for it).
if the mean IQ of everyone in the world was 150 it would be 100 again.
1. I wish the genie in front of me right now to be what we on Sup Forums consider to be "red pilled"
2. I wish the genie in front of me right now had a deep desire to take action against behaviours red pilled individuals believe are detrimental
3. I wish the genie in front of me right now was able to use his magic however he saw fit to achieve his goals
Let that loose on the world, you're welcome.
>genie finds out you are 1/10th black and kills you
>game over
Or
>genie finds out you are 1/9th black abd moves you from this physical plane into one populated solely with niggers and kikes
...
1.remove all non whites.
2.Remove all disabilities (mental and physical) from whiteys
3.Unlimited energy
I'm cool with that actually
Genius
>1. genie kills everyone because everyone is descended from africans
Erase Islam, as in delete all the books, erase it from people's memories, erase everything that mentions it, without killing anyone.
Kill whole family of Hillary Clinton, her included.
And the final wish, well, give me "The Gamer" power from the "The Gamer" korean manhwa, I'll even show him the manhwa and shit.
1)Give to everyone the ultimate and everlasting happiness.
2)not needed
3)not needed
You should smarten up and become more spiritual evolved.
Your ever lasting happiness requires the extermination of Muslims, Muslims ever lasting happiness requires the extermination of you, wat do?
Cold fusion device
Women's sufferage undone
All radical religious people killed
1) Make my waifu real and fall in love with me and never cheat on me, hurt me, or leave me
2)A majority of the citizens of Europe and North America become nationalist
3)Mexican cartels self destruct and all Mexican nationals/ their kin legally emigrate back to their home country to repair it.
The genie could make two Earths, perhaps at extreme ends of the same orbit. Identical, except that one is the House of Islam, and in the other Deus Vult. The resultant solar system wide war might be fun...
Or maybe we could have about a dozen identical Earths, one for each major ideology. In any case, the Feminist, Jewish, Muslim, African, Aztlan and LGBT-dominated worlds would be royally fucked, without us to parasite off. We could then conquer all these nice new spare Earths, once the initial owners had died off.
Out of curiosity, as I'm no physicist, could you have several planets occupying the same orbit, or would they disturb each other, somehow? Maybe only two are possible, always being behind the sun from each other?
1. Eliminate white people
2. Eliminate all memories of white people
3. (Probably won't need wish #3)
I wish you would fuck of to Sup Forums
>3. (Probably won't need wish #3)
Yeah right. 3. PLEASE make the Chinese be NICE to us!
But Tyrone every other race on the planet hates niggers too.
I wish for the ability to mind control everyone in a large radius, and I wish for save states
May as well free him on the third
#1 - Remove all oil
#2 - Remove all nuclear material
#3 - Raise sea levels higher than the tallest mountain
The planet is instantly better off
Implying that is bad
1. Replace all the people in the world with Donald Trumps
2. Replace all frogs into human-sized pepes
3. make gold rain from sky
> not thinking they'll come right back anyway.
> not setting the teleport to the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
Wew
Remove all Jews, crypto Jews, Muslims, crypto Muslims, and nogs from existence.
Save the other two for later.
> that isn't 90% of Sup Forums's wish or eventual expectation
Yeah you win. Pity about the horrifyingly low population of the world though. Not to mention basically the Amish will be the only survivors.
Make me as powerful and resistant as super perfect cell
Gohan ssj2 can't go to space.
I'll then conquer the whole world and fuck 5 lolis a day
To be fair. Wishing for a perfect woman to accommodate your life would be a great wish.
kill everyone
repopulate earth with sex robots
make me king of kings
>infinite wishes
>kill all jews
>kill all muslims
>kill all africans
>kill all abbos
>erase their existence from history
>make every second pooinloo birth stillborn
>restore humanity to chinks
That's it, the world is fixed.
Omnipotence.
Proceed to use my newfound ability to do anything to basically be Q.
Alternatively, I retain my current intelligence and become the most retarded idiot that has ever existed and will ever exist.
Slightly wasteful (thinking chiefly of the fine specimens of the Bogan type who would perish in Brisbane, Australia, and probably a few of the better sort of Texan and Uruguayan) but efficient:
1. Instant transformation of all human beings born between the 33rd parallels of Latitude, north and south, into a pile of guano.
2. Instant transformation of anybody who'd ever used or thought the word 'goyim' in a way they actually meant it into a pile of tasty bacon.
3. I dunno, better eyesight or something.
>Only the refugees and nothing else.
They are teleported back without clothes, fully naked.
Savage vengeance Hans.
the communization of production, globally
>infinite wishes
>All the usual restrictions apply as well, no extra wishes and so on.
Look Estonia, I love you like a cute little sister, but you really need to step up.
I feel for you, Suomibro. My little sister is frightfully barbosa, and calls herself Alberto.
>All the usual restrictions apply as well, no extra wishes and so on.
OЙ БЛЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯ
>>infinite wishes
He gives you bipolar disorder and you instantly become mad because your mind is in a infinite "wishing" mode.
You don't even make it to wish #2 famaladingdong.
Remove all man made pollution
Remove Kikes
Make devil fruits real
Before wishing for anything i'd assemble a team of the best lawyers money can buy, to help me formulate the first wish in a way that doesn't leave possibilities to fuck me over
>I wish for my second wish to have exactly the effects i mean, with no double-entendres or language barriers altering it's meaning. My vision of it is what will happen
>I wish to posses reality-altering powers
Then i'd just chat with him for a while, get to know him and see if there's anything i could do for him, either with my last wish or with my newfound powers.
If nothing else
>I wish for you freedom, genie
In loving memory of Mr Williams
>only my personal intent of each and every wish I make is enacted without you putting any spin or trying to dick me over in any way or find any loop holes
>you you become my familiar
>you change your appearance to forever look like the way Kylie Jenner does right now.
>and will try to actively fuck you up using loopholes in your wishes if possible.
I call up a team of lawyers to write up my wishes into iron clad contracts with zero wiggle room.
The Genie then has to announce that he acknowledges the terms of every wish, and thereby knows the wish parameters.
Breaching those parameters will result in that wish being null-and-void and the wish count replenished with the bungled wish.
Sign here, and here, and here.. and there.
Reported to the FBI you pedo scum go back to Sup Forums
>make gold rain from the sky
And everything died.
1. Create a virus that kills any human that has less than 99% of european genes
2. Robowaifus with artificial wombs are affordable and obey their masters
3. Kill every single human that is jew, muslim, or both at the same time in the most cruel way possible
>Tesla P95D
Granted, it's on its way in individual pieces.
You pay for shipping.
>Big dick
Granted
Here is your new neighbor, his name is Richard Grande.
>Loyal GF
Granted
French Guiana is now loyal only to you.
>Teleport every refugee who has come since August 2015 into the EU back to Syria. Only the refugees and nothing else.
>Only the refugees and nothing else.
>Only the refugees
>refugees
So only about 1000 people total?
>I wish Genies weren't huge dickweeds that tried to fuck you over every time you made a wish.
>Now send all the blacks to Africa and make it an Island continent
>and Gas the kikes.
>only 1000
You are a generous genius, since none of them are refugees according to the literal definition of refugee
I'd wish to be an anime
1. I wish all future wishes have no negative repercussions and have to follow my true wish as imagined in my mind.
2. A quiet place I can I can go to when I want to be in nature undisturbed by people
3. I wish to grant an infinite amount of wishes for myself
>I'd wish to be an anime
Granted, now you are boku no pico
Simple,
1. Immediately kill every person on the planet that has had a bar mitzvah
2. Make me the Emperor of Man with all his powers, with the power and knowledge to create Primarchs and Astartes. Except as he was before the age of strife, while maintaining my current knowledge experience.
3. Make the Solar system immune to the affects of Chaos and impossible for Chaos to manifest itself in it.
>1. I know I haven't had one sucks to be you if you have. No way to really do anything that fucks it up.
>2. No golden throne for me, I will make the Legions loyal above all else. Primarchs will be absolutely informed in the ways of the warp and Chaos.
>3. With Chaos unable to manifest or affect the materium within the Solar System they cannot scatter the primarchs and they do not get corrupted. Horus Heresy never occurs and I can freely make all blacks servitors. They will be useful then.
>Not every single Roach or other Sandcunt
>"only refugees"
>not killing every single muslim
Can't anytthing right
I'm assuming by bro tier you mean 'not' trying to actively fuck you over.
>I wish any power I imagine becomes real for me, if I consciously want it to
We don't even make it to wish 2, I've already fucked off to another universe by then.
>every human, save for me, loses their egos and becomes a collective consciousness that answers only to me
>complete control over time, space and reality
>revert the planet to the way it was before humanity first began
Guess what, my heavenly host. We YHWH now.
The monkey's paw is that being God is fucking awful.
>1. Create a virus that kills any human that has less than 99% of european genes
He does.But he creates only one unit. You can't see it and it dies very quickly.
>immortality
>kill everyone on the planet
>tell genie to kill himself
>not teleporting them to the moon
>not doing it to all Islamists
>not killing the genie with immediate nonexistence on wish 3
Completely monkeys pawable.
1. He won't do anything negative. But that is purely subjective.
2 and 3. If you even have a trace of nigger or kike dna(semetic), then boom you're gone.
1.) Wish for eternal happiness.
2 and 3? Keep the change.
You devil you.
Or you could wish for the genie to become a mental copy of yourself and then set free like you did.