What would Tom Cruise have said to that french reporter?

What would Tom Cruise have said to that french reporter?

>Why would you say that? No, it's ok, just, *why* would you say that?

>you're a jerk

>You're a jerk!
>SP fucking shit

>no thanks, I'm actually ga-I mean, gladly married

fpbp

Ornella, you’re glib.

>invite Brad and Leo, and you leave...
>*classic Tom Cruise belly laugh*
>Quoi?
>Just give us the real answer.
>What answer? Je ne comprehend pas
>*co-host: [in French] Ornella, you don't have to answer. [in English] Monsieur Cruise, it was just a joke, please...*
>You want answers?
>I think I'm entitled to them. *he stares at her with Cruise-esque intensity*
>You want answers?
>I want the truth!
>You can't handle the truth!
>*the entire studio is silent. Miles Teller and Jonah Hill lean over: Uhh, Tom, it's cool man. She was just joking man.*
>Shut up. Just shut up! *Ornella breaks down in tears* Y-you had me at h-hello. You had me at hello.
>*Tom nods and whispers, you completely me"
>They rush across the table for a passionate embrace which turns into an equally powerful long kiss. She wraps her legs around him. Tom uses his telepathic powers to dim the studio lights, and they make love right on that news desk.

*uses advanced spiritual knowledge to summon Xenu to his aid*

Nothing, that moment wouldn't have taken place if Tom was there. Tom isn't a fat undesirable subway eating lard.

Get a load of that delicious manspread

Shut the fuck up I'm not fat anymore

whatever the 'Scientology' handler in his earpiece told him to.

Based fucking Cruise

*Jonah

>tfw the only way for Jonah to win the bantz is to be replaced by Tom Cruise

>Now why would you say that? Why would you say that? Come here, *grabs hand* come here, why would you say that? Why would you say that? Hang on, its ok, wait,wait a second. What so funny about that? That's ridiculous. Do you like making less of people, is that it? Thats, thats really - no no, don't run away, don't run away; no, no i don't care. That is incredibly rude. I'm here giving you an interview, and answering your questions, and you say something really nasty. You're a jerk! You're .....You're a jerk! You know what, you're a jerk! You should be ashamed of yourself! Amazing...

You know it's all true. Well maybe apart as he doesn't wear earpiece - he uses brain implant technology instead.

t. SP

Tom is like a shaman at this point, that French whore knows better than to fuck with him.

Don't run away