FUCK THEY ACTUALLY DID IT

FUCK THEY ACTUALLY DID IT
THE BASTARDS ACTUALLY DID IT
MY LOCAL KINOTORIUM JUST STARTED OFFERING ACTUAL CRAB LEG BUCKETS

(Alamo Drafthouse Dallas btw)

...

...

Need more evidence, this is fucking huge if true

OP how do we know that photo is actually from a cinema and not a seafood market or something? Did you happen to take any pictures with a real aspec ratio or are all of them cropped?

>last friday night and can't post on Sup Forums because still banned for cunnyposting
>decide to head out to the kinoplex
>wait by the entrance and sneak past the usher when he stoops down to put new batteries in his NVG
>blend into the crowd and try to work my way to a theater room, I don't care which I just want to watch something
>look around and realize nobody in the crowd is female and it's all beta virgins that got outed by mandatory penis inspection
>turns out the crowd was being escorted by armed guards into holding cells
>try to get away but one of the guards hits me in the back of the head with his rifle butt and I black out
>wake up with a burning hot scar on my temple that says KP (Kinoplex Property) and I'm wearing nothing but a loose sackcloth
>I'm in the popcorn mines and ghoulish pale figures all around me are slaving away and chipping popcorn off the cave walls
>some of them sneak a bite of smuggled crab legs from the hatchery whenever the guard isn't looking
>at the end of a tunnel the guard has a falcon swoop around making sure everyone is working
>when it sees me still on the ground it shrills out a loud bird call and the guard frantically scans the tunnel to see the perpetrator
>sprint past him and through the mines as I can hear shouting and rapid footsteps behind me
>hear metal clanging above and figure that I'm close to the cinema forges (and of course therefore the lobby)
>as I near the exit I see a burly blacksmith with scarred arms step in front of me
>he gives me a knowing nod and steps aside and I realize he's got a faded KP scar on his temple as well
>the guards catch up and start aiming their guns and screaming for me to stop
>dive through the glass door and land on the sidewalk outside as I'm cut all over
>I'm out of sovereign Kinoplex jurisdiction so they can't do anything and glare angrily at me as I stumble down the road bleeding
>get home and immediately check my computer
>see I'm now unbanned and can cunnypost again
>mfw

JUST ANOTHER KINO MONDAY

imagine having to clean that shit the cinema after the movie ends. fucking shells everywhere, you know americans dont clean up after themselves

>imagine having a job where you have to do your job

Get over it Pablo

Makes sense. A few more Harveys and Dallas will be a coastal city.

I doubt Alamo Drafthouse would use saran wrap

I just called them to check and they said they didn't and that you were a liar liar pants on fire.
Also I have two tickets to the 9pm showing of Treasure of the Sierra Madre if you want to come. No weirdos.

I doubt Alamo Drafthouse would use saran wrap

Alamo Drafthouse must be desperate for new customers after all the recent rape scandals

BASED givposter

10/10 pasta.

Look what opened up near my house

...

>implying crab legs is not normally sold at cinemas for years now

stop your lying memery

>tenders in a bun
you can do this?

big if true

I'm hungry now for salty bug legs.

small if untrue

Nice try crabfag.

I thought about letting all you anons go on believing this story for all your relentless Star Trek, Rick and Morty, and Orville threads... when you should be talking about REAL KINO such as Get Shorty, Vice Principals, and The Deuce!

This forum is dogshit and filled with dogshit people. You all are emotional cripples who have no taste and would actually want someone stinking up a theater like your mom's dirty pussy and having a fat ass break off chunks of crabshell on the back of your head (frankly, you would deserve it, not that any of you actually leave your house).

You're all fucking pathetic and need to take your sad ignorant sci fi libcuck asses back to redddit! This is not your safe place and you are not welcome here.

(pictured: 2015 crab festival, see shirt)

Hey Morty Get Shorty

REVIEWBRAH MUST GO HERE

>using the phrase "libcuck" unironically
Other than that this was solid bait

Based, he even turned the picture.