What happened

what happened...

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In Russia they use boot polish to dye hair.
Fat cunt appears on shitty UK morning tv show hosted by a fucking moron. Calls some Americans unpatriotic even though he sacked them off and went to Russia to hang with his buddy Putin although he still likes the Trump cock too.

He's a CIA mole. An actor? The perfect cover.

Hiding in plain sight.

Same with Dennis Rodman.

I have met Steven Segal before. He is precisely as ridiculous as you would expect, and even more of an asshole.

I unironically enjoy Segal movies more than most Hollywood films.

KINO
I
N
O

youtube.com/watch?v=CNfw8E-s1BU

...

>He's a CIA mole. An actor? The perfect cover.
>Hiding in plain sight.
This sounds like it'd make a great Seagal movie
>with Dennis Rodman
fucking perfect

He literally claims to have been CIA. Maybe it's a double cross.

>Seagal and Rodman save the world from nuclear holocaust through the power of basketball
FUND IT

>tfw your birthday is coming up

Day Tucker

Love this shit

>Nolan's plane scene was based on one of Seagal's missions for the agency

Given Putin's reported to be worth a couple of hundred billion I imagine being his friend's quite fun. Not the sort of bloke you want to beat at chess tho.

HE'S A DANGEROUS MAN

he's actually said that he "did favors" and "special operations" for the CIA because of his martial arts expertise and knowledge of Japanese culture lmao

the fat porky bastard is living in a fantasy world.

HE'S A GOOD MAN!

what an awful gif

That's exactly what he wants you to think, brainlet. He puts up this clumsy fatass persona for the average retard like you and you all believe it. In reality he's doing this so no one thinks of him as a threat, but as a joke instead and now he's collecting info for the CIA.

day tooker

Shouldnt you be watching some conspiricy theory video or something.
The only thing that guy collects is fucking pies.

It's true and his retarded behaviours and delusions of grandeur are all a cover up

Let me tell you something that might be a bit dangerous. I was raised in Japan. I was schooled in martial arts. I was given the title of master. They take a movie “The Last Samurai.” They have a 5-foot-2-inch little guy, whether he was straight or gay, I don’t know. I don’t care. He had never been to Japan. He doesn’t speak Japanese. He has never held a sword. They make him the Last Samurai. We got 450,000 phone calls [laughs] from everybody in the world saying, “That role was perfect for you. How did that happen?” Most of the people I know didn’t like the film and didn’t go see it. It’s just a classic example of Hollywood and the politics.

>actually a real quote

>whether he was straight or gay, I don’t know. I don’t care

HES A BIG GUY

my favourite bit is how the first guy could easily have shot him at a distance but chose to stroll on up and get his hand chopped instead

The real cock holster

Is this for real?

He's the cook.

>TFW the world finds out that Putin was just a puppet for the God Emperor Seagal this entire time.

Seagal thread?

yes, the movie is almost unwatchable because of the editing

>the fat porky bastard is living our fantasy
FTFY

The Bill Burr interview where he talks about meeting Segal is both hilarious and thought provoking.

For all his bluster, Steven Seagal actually speaks perfect Japanese and probably knows as much about the culture as any westerner.

food probably, but he'll probably say it's a thyroid condition

Which Segal kino are you looking forward to?
youtube.com/watch?v=AMiaXULFpLw

Sounds like the premise for one of his shitty movies

The original Ken Sama.