Jesus Christ Aunt May, die already. You're like 100 years old

Jesus Christ Aunt May, die already. You're like 100 years old.

Aut may is just literally a female stan lee

nice rack

Holy shit. What if Stan Lee created Aunt May as a sigil and that's what's keeping him alive? Chaos magic, guys.

So every time someone dies in the comics she lives longer?

No, Aunt May deserves to suffer through the agony of old age more than Peter deserves a happy marriage.

How many times has she cried herself to sleep thinking about Ben?

>take in young orphaned nephew
>fuckin nerd studies science and shit in his room all day while poor Ben fights thru his failing heart and arthritis to get maintain upkeep of our small as shit house
>faggot finally hits puberty at 16 years old and runs home to bust a nut all over his room from 3 to midnight
>changes from useless loser to co my cunt overnight
>starts telling us he's going to "study" late at night
>me and my poor husband have to hide our embarrassment after entering his room to find it soaked floor to ceiling in sticky white webbing
>find some kind of disgusting gimp costume with a fucking spider on it of all things
>one night ol Ben decides he needs to stop Peter from taking cock in alley ways, and learn a lesson about actually providing for his families
>husband ends up shot and killed by some no name mugger
>make it my only mission for the remaining years of my life to guilt that little faggot into taking care of me
>for whatever reason these years of self indulgence feel like decades of suffering to the twerp

Is aunt may the final boss of the SpiderMan?

I swear I remember seeing one comic where Peter makes out with a young Aunt May.

What happens when they come back though?

Nothing. Their life force from their previous life was taken. It's a pretty sweet deal for a life force sucker to live in a comic book universe.

Golden Oldie can never die.

that's Trouble and it's Peter's dad

Peter made out with his own dad?

Not really. It was just the Richard Parker LMD that Harry used to posthumously torture Peter by way of the Chameleon.

>tfw stories about Aunt May will continue to be told long after you are dead and forgotten

Dude like Aunt May is hot there needs to be more porn of her and Peter

I would read a story like this, where May is de-aged due to magic or some shit, doesn't know Peter is her nephew because memory regression, and has the hots for him. Then Peter has to struggle between "she's my aunt" and "well, we're not related by blood".

I'm sure there's porn comic somewhere

Peter sacrificed his marriage and his happiness so his old aunt could live for a few years

Ultimate?

I hope he at least has sex with her so he gets something out of the deal.

My life will end exactly when it needs to, not 80 years after it should have.

It certainly will be if we can trick some sucker into commissioning Tracy Scops.

naked aunt may

stop I can only get so erect

Is anyone else really bummed she didn't die?

Back in Black was great, and I would've loved another year of stories in that same vein.

I mean the reason she didn't die is one of the most hated stories in cape comics, so I'm pretty sure you're not the only one

What really is the point of her character anymore?

Sex.

What if he had died for realsies in ASM 400? Would that be a decent end for her? Would it have reflected negatively in the current day Peter Parker?

Why the fuck is Aunt May so old anyway? Shes an aunt, not a great grandmother

MJ should have been the one to get shot in One More Day. Then at least giving up their marriage would look heroic and not like a manchild not being able to get over his mommy.

Nah it should have been zombie Uncle Ben
or zombie Gwen

...You're actually completely right, it would have totally fixed most of my complaints with it, and even make the disappearance of their child's existence a bit less outrageous.

Still wouldn't have been justified after getting told by fucking GOD that he should have left her aunt pass away.

I'd be happy if I outlive the Simpsons

Now I can't help but think of Peter and Aunt May's relationship being like Norman Bates and his mother.

>Trouble

How old was May supposed to be in that? Like college age, right? Its so weird that it tried to pull that thing about her being Pete's mother, despite May turning out to be ancient by the time Pete was 14. If she was 22, then according to Trouble, she eventually ended up looking like this at age 36/37

Quite frankly, its surprising that she could even live those extra 13 or so years of Marvel-time looking like she did originally.

Fuck what's wrong with her chin?

Well, not seeing any damage to the fabric, so I'm guessing someone's upset that she spilled something on her dress.

She has nice big titties for an old person.

Fuck.

Yeah he and Aunt May totally should have fucked afterwards

Where's that joke and or joke in tumblr explaining that when everytime there's a Spider Man origins movie or a new spider man series. Aunt May absorbs any and all of Uncle Ben's remaining life essence so that she can stay young and eternal forever?

>tfw Aunt May is a horrocrux of Stan
DAN JUST END HE REIGN ALLREADY

She will outlive Erik, Logan, Raven, Wade, Thanos, Death, Mephisto, Sinister.

Aunt May died 400 issues ago.

I wonder if she thinks it's suspicious that she's lived a normal life up until she took care of her nephew.

kek

Is that Bill Clinton?

I though more of a female Alfred.

up

Holy shit, how did I never think of this? How did Quesada never think of this?

Makes you think.

Maybe hedid a Faustian pact like Dorian Grey thing.
Since Spider Man is here to stay, aunt May will live on forever. They killed her off and made her come back.

Secretly she is a mutant. WTF

I thought at some point she is madame web.

I would fuck Aunt May.

This.

Actually, people have been wanting Aunt May to die for only having one repeated storyline over and over since the mid-70's.

Someone is looking for...
>Trouble

>people have been wanting Aunt May to die
Hasn't she already died in other comics? Spiderman has die i don't know how many times already. This is why i don't read comics

She did die. More than once. She just came back.

Did someone get Aunt and Grandmother confused, why is she so ancient?

Underrated kek, well deserved (you)

Ah, the old reddit switcharoo

Old age does that to you, you basement-dweller

Ah, the old autistic reddit response.

Of old age though?

Learn "irony" retard

Learn humor, cum guzzler.

I associate Aunt May with old age so strongly that the GILFy version of May in "Spectacular Spider Man" just seemed wrong.

And she's probably only one of the seven Horcruxes

It turns your chin into a dick/skintag, you neckbeard?

>Capeshit is so pathetic they can't even kill off a secondary character for good

Remember that saying "no one stays dead in comics except Jason Todd, Bucky, and Uncle Ben"?

Now its just Uncle Ben. And he doesn't even really count cause he died as part o a backstory. Unless you want to count the Waynes too.

Why would they kill one of the most consistently useful plot devices in comics?

>It's a "Spidey thinks Aunt May was killed but she really just spilled the ketchup" episode

Gee, too bad they couldn't have just given him a daughter or something that could serve the same purpose as well as do other things.

> tfw all may wanted was to find peter a nice wife to take care of him after she's gone