Trace the signal

>trace the signal
>he's bouncing between proxies all over the world

>no friends, no previous employment, no ex girlfriends... this guy doesn't exist!

>he's a ghost

>T-that can't be!
>What?
>S-sir, that madman doesn't own a cellphone or even a tablet!
>What do you mean? Talk, boi!
>HE ONLY USES HIS PERSONAL COMPUTER AND NOTHING ELSE!!!
>My. God. This is Him. This is the Anonymous Hacker known as Fourth Chan!

>can you track him?
>the signal's encrypted
>he could be anywhere

>What did you say? Jackie Chan?

>I found a hidden file, sir!
>I see. A hacker. Hidding files takes skills. Go on...
>It's labelled "waifu", let me crack the password.
>Way Foo? Some Chinese spy, maybe?
>S-sir! I'm in. The password was "dubs"... whaterver that means, and... MY GOD!
>What? WHAT???
>IT'S FULL OF FEET!!!!!

Name 4 threes and none of them can be Jackie Chan.

>Sir! I've come upon a weird failsafe of his computer...
>What is it?
>The coputer is asking for, and I quote, "tits or gtfo".
>What's gtfo?
>Get the fu... the hell out. Sir. It's hackerspeak.
>We need to get into that computer. Alright, nothing that happens in this room will ever be talked about after. This stays our secret. Let's show this A.I. how real men's chests look like!
*sound of clothes being taken off*
>Is that a nipple ring...?

This shit's going straight to /r/Sup Forums

Stop this is getting too close

...

...

topkek

>SIR! I just found something that might interest you! Look at this folder!
>Sneed? What the hell is a sneed?

>You don't think [faction] will try to stop you?
>I'm counting on it!

>sir our big plan is getting fucked up
>exactly as planned

>sir, I've just found a weird file. It's called: Banefappening. It's full of leaked celebrities pictures, but he photoshopped some weird mask on all of them. And the files all end with BG4U instead of the usual JPG.

>Gets caught
>It's part of his plan

>Sir, I've just finished going through that old PC you found in that deserted shack in the woods. By the way, did you find the guy who was living there?
>No. It looked like he hasn't been there for months, maybe even a year. Maybe he went full feral and lives in the woods now. there has been weird reports of stolen food in hunter caches and a few break-ins in the few summer homes around here in the last year. What did you find in the computer?
>Nothing much, but in the history and delete files, I was able to find his old online persona. Someone or something called "Abatap".

>he's uploaded his consciousness into the internet

>Sir, the suspect uses a custom UNIX distro
>For his server?
>No, his PC
>He can't be our rapist, he is clearly virgin

>Sir everytime I gain access it changes
>It's like fighting a rubix cube that's fighting back

>Sneed
>feed
>and
>seed

>He's just a kid.

>trace the signal
>narrowing the location
>this country
>this city
>this block
>this room
>he's right on top of us!

>Sir, our suspect, it's weird...
>What?
>His smartphone... was neveer used to make phonecalls. Not even ONCE!
>WHAT?
>All it had on it was a video taken from the beginning of the movie The Dark Knight Rises, a picture of main character of the movie American Psycho and a 1GB file full of feet photos...

Fund it!
Fund it now!
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

>we found remains of hiepoglrusmus chignkaunöi in the crime scene
>It's a species of plant that is found only in two places: Pluton's moon and... in the garden of the suspect's house!

>Sir! We're into his computer!
>What can you tell me?
>I don't know sir, he doesn't have any specific folders or anything!
>What?
>Sir...He doesn't organise anything. He just saves everything into Downloads
>My god...
>It's worse, sir, there's tens of GB's of stuff, memes, political pictures, porn, weird porn and random art pieces.
>How can a man live like this? Get me a copy on my desk, we'll get this bastard if it's the last thing we do!

God damn that was a terrible movie. Depp really wants to be fat Brando

PERMISSION TO LAUNCH CYBER NUKE?

>NOT EVEN A PARKING TICKET, HE'S SQUEAKY CLEAN SIR

what movie is that? I see the gif everywhere and RIS doesn't want to help

Blue Velvet

Android filing can be soooo tedious user.... This is android's one achilles heel

Ff8

>"Enhance"
>Enhances into the cornea of the murder victim
>Finds a reflection of their killer
Fuck you CSI.