Ruin this kid's day

Ruin this kid's day.

>We'll start with the lady's pearls.

No problem, boss.

I still remember the pearls

Change the movie the theater is playing to batman v superman : dawn of justice.
His parents dying on the street is the second worst thing he'll witness tonight.

HEY KID

WHAT'S COOLER THAN BEING COOL?

You ever dance with the devil by the pale moon light?

ICE COLD

...

I CAN'T HEAR YA

I SAY WHAT'S COOLER THAN BEING COOL?

I steal his limo.

ICE COLD

And they called ME crazy!

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...

Ever dance with the Devil in the pale moonlight?

Do you think Bullock is considering it? I mean Jim Gordon does have a nice ass

He looks more disturbed by gordons eagerness than anything really.

I'd lick it

Tell him his dad committed innocent people to Arkham and is tied to the mob.

Joe Chill

That was a helluva thread.

Dr. Wayne, we're from the IRS. We are going to seize your assets.

>Dr. Wayne, I'm IRS

No

Your parents are dead and there will only be remembered as 'batman's dead parents'

>parents are shot dead
>he's crying over their dead bodies
>Superman flies by
>Heya Bruce
>flies off

Shoot his dad and make him have sex with his mum.

>dressed as a bat
>kill two billionaire in an alley
>let boy lives
>that boy will grown up not as batman

He'll be Ratman

>Bruce thinking over what his superhero persona will be
>remembers the bat faggot who shot his parents
>decides to become one of the bats natural predators, an owl.

Shoot his mom and have his dad guilt trip him into becoming Batman, but no matter how well Bruce does his dad never congratulates him. Instead he just mutters, "Too bad you couldn't save your mom" while he pours himself another drink.

holy fuck

Somebody need to make this a thing!

>owl
isnt it already a thing

Show him my gun then whisper "you will never be batman".

Shoot Thomas in the stomach and rape Martha.

Let's see how edgey he becomes in 10-20 years with rape victim mom

...

It doesn't matter

he's the evil counterpart to batman and part of the crim syndicate of amerika of earth-three

I hope all the Batmen dropped to their knees and screamed at the sky.

Alfred is driving the limo.

>Go in
>Shoot the child as well
There, no Batman.

Alternatively:
>Mug Batman's parents and Bruce, make sure they have no idea who I am
>Kill them by high cholestorol
>Rogues gallery is now fast food mascots
>Batman is now Sportacus

>Joker, rather than becoming the chaos to Batman's order and a dark mirror of his insanity, becomes the unhealthiness to his health and a dark mirror of his activity

Oh my god, somebody should make this a fanfiction.

>become a martial artist
>kill the Waynes with your bare hands
>decades later
>Batman crashes through the window of some thugs' hideout
>starts gunning all of the unarmed men down
>"FISTS ARE THE WEAPONS OF COWAAAAAAARDS"

>Aquire a gang of murderers each skilled in a different weapon, plus an unarmed man
>Have each participate equally in the murder of the Waynes
>Batman now fights exclusively with bizzare and obscure weapons

>Kill Bruce's parents by pollution
>Batman is now Captain Planet

THE WRONG WAYNE DIED.

So.. Still the same Batman?

>Shoot and kill all three
>Make it look like the mob is responsible
>Soon after, a masked figure calling himself the Outsider begins hunting down criminals, killing them with a shotgun and a bunch of other gadgets
>Eventually, he finds out that I, Joe Chill, am responsible, and hunts me down.
>Just moments before he blows my brains out, he takes off his mask, wanting me to see the face of the man who killed him
>It's Alfred