Go to the cinema

>Go to the cinema
>Sorry kaffir, we only serve halal food

What do?

I demand to see your manager. Where's Yakub?

Get some popcorn and coke?

...

Well, first of all:

>going to a movie theater

Second:

>paying for concessions at a movie theater

Third, you can eat halal food. It's like eating kosher food when you're not Jewish or vegetables when you're not vegan. It's just a dietary restriction, you aren't going to suddenly want to fuck pigs just because you eat halal food.

Fourth, Falkland Islands.

...

Hello?

Is in the back cracka, is prayer time, wachuwant?

>buying movie theater food
>going to movie theaters
I hate going to theaters because I can't stand the kind of people who go to theaters. Last movie I went to see was 10 Cloverfield Lane and it was a great film but the noisy fuckwads in the theater ruined the whole experience.
Well, actually last movie I went to was Zootopia and that film was shit but at least there were cute girls to stare at instead of watching that shitfest.

No coke, broder. That's against the rules.

oh no how will ever recover from hotdogs with a 10,000% markup being removed from their tiny shitty menu.

>paying $10+ for a movie you can download for free in a couple of weeks

Speaking in a cinema when the film is on in this country is considered a mortal sin - I've seen about 20 films in my entire life in the cinema, and I've only had one person talking out loud.

>Sticky everything
>People who don't shut the fuck up
>Those people that bring their babies
>Those people who chew loud as fuck and insist on crinkling a bag the entire fucking movie

I can't believe pay over $10 to go through that shit

Das racist.

It's almost as big a sin as violating the No Singles Policy.

Bring my own, I still have 15mins before ads end and movie begins.

The average moviegoer (here) is an illiterate borderline-retarded mouthbreather who only shows up because they heard on the TV or from their peer group that they were supposed to.

>implying people on Sup Forums go outside

better get ready German this is your future

what movies do they show?

I pull out my Freedom Fish and slap him with it.

>implying I consume meat in a cinema

Wow.

Say hello to your replacement

Do you not eat burgers or hot dogs at the cinema?

So full of win!

Ben Garrison does it again.

>Popcorn isnt halal

>No coke, broder.
Not a thing

yet

Are crabslegs halal?

why are you at the cinema anyway?

Hi Bill, can I get a large bucket of popcorn?
I didn't bring friends, but don't fear, i'm a big guy. I'll finish this bucket of popcorn with no survivors.

A simple, yet efficient solution.

That's a big fish

>Ask for kebab with extra garlic sauce
>Smear disgusting galric sauce kebab juice on the underside of seats and other hard to clean places
>Place smells like dirty kebabs & garlic
>Leave

almost every popcorn made in cinemas are Halal, so ya'all have been eating Halal all along...!

CrabLegs?

4 U

...

Catfish Curry is fucking delish...one of my cousins have a Thai-Bangla crossbreed catfish farm

Coke is halal

All fish is halal.

Everything from the sea is halal

Popcorn is halal.

The kuffar eat halal food all the time, Americans avoid it by avoiding vegetables, but the ice cream they eat is 100% halal.

>tfw it costs 18 dollars here in leafland for admission alone

At least I sneak in a bottle of whiskey or vodka for this shit.

Salam brother. Thank you for serving halal only. Bismillah

You mean salmon.

Crustaceans being bottom feeders are neither Halal nor Kosher. I'm sorry to have to tell you this Ahmed al Bretanni.

Shove my pork up his ass.

Any 'bloodless' animals like Crabs and Lobsters are not Halal, but they are not Haram aswell, they'r 'Makhruh'...meaning it's frowned upon eating them but you don't sin if you eat them.