Flatliners remake dead on arrival

*BREATHES IN*
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

that degrassi jewish slav girl is fucking hot tho

lol glad someone else remembers her as Mia the teen mom from Degrassi

literally lower rated than Gigli (6%)

I didn't even know it was actually a remake of -that- flat liners. I don't watch trailers anymore I thought it was just sharing the name.

Is it really THAT bad? Zero-percent bad?

Ellen no ;__;

>starring ellen page

good, glad this movie failed haha

>women and gays BTFO in one fell swoop

J U S T

Nina Dobrev isn't jewish.

To get a 0%, it must be fucking atrocious

to be honest, 0% makes me actually wanna watch it... not in cinema, but as soon as leaks

> white girl named Irene Wong in the movie

Really the Average Rating is more useful than the tomatometer shit

I shall now drink deeply of the sweet schadenfreude of the death of Ellen Page's career. Thanks OP

RIP Ellen Page's career.
You will be missed.

>Implies Ellen Page had a career

(racist name, by the way)

>movie so shit that is receives a literal 0%
>ellen page is leading it
There goes her career. Praise God.

>DUDE, BRAINS REACTING SIMILARLY TO OXYGEN DEPRIVATION IS PROBABLY THE AFTERLIFE, LMAO

The original was pretty bad too tbf.

Reminder that the director of this made a Danish film where two kids jack each other off

I thought we don't trust critic's scores on rotten tomatoes. Does this mean Orville really is shit?

The trailers for this movie scared the shit out of me at night while watching tv

Glad it flopped

sauce

Good this feminist cunt needs to die off already.

why do you know about this?
why are you asking?

Literally all Ellen Page had to do is not be a massive bitch about coming out and it would not have hurt her career at all. But nope, she had to go full sarkeesian on us even though literally nobody was criticizing her for coming out.

Faggot

asking for a friend

I wish I didn't know about it. Some pedo uploaded the full movie to a normal porn site once. I IMDb'd it and was shocked that it was a normal film. Then again it's fucking Denmark, I don't think anyone there cares about this stuff.

The film is called Kapgang. Honestly looks like it would be an alright film if they didn't literally shoot a fap scene for pedos.

>tfw she will never do that yoga move and cup your cock and balls with her feet like she did Conan on his show

Kill me.

the good news is that nina dobrev is still hot

They don't actually show the dudes cranking down do they? Like I've seen a bunch of arthouse flicks like maladolescenza where they've got questionable shit with kids but not full on jacking it.

Please stop talking about gay pedo shit. We should be mocking Hollywood for fucking up another reboot/imagining/make/etc.

Clearly it flopped because it didn't have a diverse cast

>if your heart is stopped but then you're revived that still counts as dying for legal reasons/a personal bet/magic rules/supernatural laws

I fucking hate this trope especially when retards say it in real life

>film review relies on puns

Why did Ellen Page's career die ever since she claimed she is a lesbian?

>her name was supposed to be Ilene but they wanted to go all in

Because muh evils patriarchy abloo, bloo, bloo

aged really kicked her in the beef flaps

why is this funny tho? we all knew it

I remember seeing the trailer for this last month and thinking
>What a wierd movie to remake. Why?
I vaguely remember the original one being okay, but I can't say I was really itching for a redo.
While we're remaking wierd 90's shit, why not Backdraft while we're at it?
I loved how they treated the fire as a living creature. It was creepy as fuck.

I mean yeah you don't see their dicks thank god but they're undressed and you see their arms going up and down. Like it looks like the actors are actually doing it out of the frame, I can't imagine how the crew felt filming that. Then after they show the kid cleaning off they're underwear. Obviously this sort of thing does happen IRL but to show it in that much detail is crossing the line a bit

>While we're remaking wierd 90's shit, why not Backdraft while we're at it?
Because remaking shit for the sake of remaking shit leads to shit movies. The original is fine, good even, so go watch that instead.

It's a shame because I liked the original
I also went to see the Pultergist remake.
What a time to live

I cant believe they did this movie

it's not like she was that relevant before the movie either

>it's a Sony makes a horrible movie episode
Holy god, they've been playing this episode on repeat for years now.

ACT

Is there anything this film can't do?

Well if you don't actually see it happening what's the big deal? Moonlight featured underage boys jerking each other off and won an oscar.

I wonder if this will hurt her career

You have to have a career for it to be hurt.

nah she'll be fine, carpet-licking is a fairly steady job

>Ellen Page
>career
kek

kek

yes she is

I'll never forget Mia
or JD

Who will they put the blame on?

She is Russian Orthodox

>dead on arrival

I fucking called it, I knew those critics would think they're clever and say that

orthodox jew

she said she was jewish on that degrassi reality show special ages back

Nina's career can't die yet!

THEY TRIED
TO REMAKE
A
JOEL
SCHUMACHER
FILM

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Is it weird that the first time I saw a trailer I thought "This is super interesting take on Final Destination" then was immediately disappointed.

I saw it on Friday.

They have Kieffer Sutherland in it as his old character from the first but he makes ZERO references to his experience.
He doesn't even find out his medical students are doing the same experiments. Why even bring him back?

Apparently he's playing a different character.

If criticfags are pounding a good little SJW lesbian's movie, we know it's absolute elephant balls.

wait how can it be so bad. i saw the trailer it looked really interesting. im super into paranormal stuff. what happened?

>what happened?
You were born with shit taste, user. It's not terminal, but you'll need a lot of therapy to get past it. Start by watching the original Flatliners.

i have autism please just explain why the movie is bad and dont make fun of me

Just go watch the original if you're into neat supernatural movies.

um...is it pg13?

No, it's R. It's also from 1990.

It's not paranormal. They just start having visions of things they regret and to fix them all they have to do is forgive themselves.

It's really boring.

i have to ask my mommy. are you an adult? can you talk to my mommy for me?

Look, I'm really happy that you've discovered shitposting and all, and I'm grateful it isn't kinoposting or BvS posting, but don't you have better shit to be doing?

my spot the difference puzzles.

The best part about this exchange is this is what you do for fun on a Friday, whereas I'm getting paid to do this.

of course i have fun talking to my new friends. mommy said its good for me

u could say it... flatlined
B^)

>cares about her people
>bad

Armond White better not fuck this up.

Critics hate it, so you know he's going to love up on it just to do his contrarian shtick.

Actually, no. "Good" or "Bad" is binary, while x/10 is completely arbitrary.

i guess you can say...

it flatlined

Every time a reboot fails, my hope in the universe is restored somewhat.

Soney is finshed

TORRENT WHEN

...

I liked the original, but the new film's trailer didn't give me much hope. It looked like they got rid of the gothic vibe, and they were redoing the same story, instead of building on the first one.