Sell me this pencil

Sell me this pencil

your asshole is itching isn't, user?
how you gonna scratch it? You're not going to stick your finger up there are you? You'll have shit wafting off your digit all day. No, user you need a smooth, high-quality device crafted from the finest Indonesian artisians. This is no ordinary written utensil, user. This is an ergonomically, grass-fed, ultra-secure Hibatchi 9000 XLS pen. Yours today, with no further commitment, to be the envy of all your friends and moistener of pussy you encounter for only $6,000.

>I already did, when are you paying me you dirty rat fuck?

it's not for sale, it's too good to be.

No. You don't need this pencil right now. Come back to me if you do.

*shoves pencil up his ass*

It.makes.your.hand.feel.free.

*puts pencil in pocket*
Oh, you want it back? That will be five dollars please.

I purchased this pencil in Sweden, held it in my ass for 4 weeks and only moments ago evacuated it from my bowels.

My price is negotiable

This. If he wants to keep doing the trick at class, he better pay.

>be hot girl
>stick pencil in pussy
>tell him he can pull it out with his teeth if he pays

Gonna buy it now? ;)

buy this pen or your mother will die in her sleep tonight

>Disgusting fake tits


D R O P P E D
R
O
P
P
E
D

>do you need a pencil?

this is the only correct answer

That's a pen, not a pencil.

Can I get some ketchup?

Did I tell you that reddit hate this pen?

this pencil's tip NEVER dulls
it'll NEVER need sharpening
it lays down a proprietary version of graphite that IS PERMANENT
it's IMPERVIOUS TO ERASERS

limited offer, while supplies last

but i know your lying

sir I'm not lying, uncap this pencil and try it yourself please

I'll take 10

It belonged to John wick

It lasts long tiiime.

>put Star Wars label on it
Sold.

...

write your fucking name on my balls
"i dont have a pen"
that will be 100$

you also need to make it cost a shit-ton too
like in the real world

I.can...write you a check with it!

Sir? This is the 10th time you're asking me that.

I'll give you $100 if you buy this pen from me.

Get them on order, I'll call it in.

>jump on Leo and pin him on the ground
>start shanking him with the pen in his sides
>shout at him, "BUY THIS FUCKING PEN AND I'LL FUCKING STOP!"
>if he doesn't buy it then I start stabbing the pen in the side of his neck
>"I'LL STOP! JUST BUY THE FUCKIG PEN!"
>he caves and buys the pen
Pshh....nothin personell....kid....

I've got a signed blank cheque here for you, and I want you to write down how much you want. Oh, you don't have a pen? Well, I do, and it can be yours for just $50!