That's a great offer but I can't read therefore I'm out

That's a great offer but I can't read therefore I'm out

HAHAHAHAHA

>I like your idea, but your melanin levels are really low. I'm out.

>As much as I love your product and presentation, it has nothing to do with selling brightly colored clothing to blacks so therefore I am out

There's an American Dragons Den?

>Let me try!

>your product is absolutely terrible, but since your black I'll make you an offer anyways.

Yesterday's kid could've really used him.

Based Robert

>all the black contestants ultimately end up looking to him for help, even if their product is trash

kek

I know someone who went on shark tank

tell me more.

maneesh sethi, the guy will the pavlok self shocking device for breaking bad habits, etc. Went to high school with him actually, he's a pretty chill guy. I didn't watch the episode, but I think he turned down whatever was offered to him.

>youre product is terrible it has no clear market share or growth opportunities
>however, you called me your brotha and are you are visibly upset that nobody wants your product. So I'll make you an offer

HAHAHAHA

it's like DD except the investors roll a d6 to determine if they make an offer or not

Mark called him a fraud.

Fuck off UK fag, it was a Japanese show first anyway

what's a good offer to get lori to suck my dick?

>Your presentation was horrible and I have absolutely no sense who your market is but I'll make you an offer of $10,000 for 100% of your company. Do you accept?
>"Ye-"
>You took to long, I'm out.

>Good for you
>That's the American dream right there
>*starts clapping*

he actually enjoyed that, and posted about how mark cuban couldn't stop talking about his product cuz he bashed it on multiple occasions, used it as publicity.

I don't use it but in my opinion he's not a fraud. It seems to work for many people regardless whether it actually does something or its due to the placebo effect, and he hasn't lied to or deceived consumers. I think he's even getting a degree in psych right now so he learn more about the mind, mental conditioning, etc.

O’Leary is human trash IRL but entertaining as fuck on the show. You can tell he’s just an exploitative waste of space and deserves a literal trip to Siberia, but it’s hilarious watching him

Yeah but at least he is honest about it. Herjavec is a phony nice guy the would backstab and blame you

they do the same thing when being arrested

HAHAHAHA

I am at work and this thread is making me laugh a little too loud, i might get in trouble soon, please go on.

My name is Barbara and therefore I'm out

She has a vacation house on fire island, most definitely a fag hag

Yeah, and its actually good rather than have some mellow tories decline Yorkshire farmers pudding machines.

she always invests in the dumbest shit and always pulls it off

you can tell when barbara goes for something all the other sharks get more interested

Cuban is way greedier. He has offered 100% deals way more often than the other sharks put together and O'Leary called him out on it every time.

O'Leary is just the "mean" guy that tells it like it is.
If he was to leave they would have another "mean" guy.

what's greedy about 100 % deals?

she's my sharkfu

Yeah, Cuban is also a cunt. I can’t wait for the dystopian nightmare of Zuckerberg-Cuban 2020 v. Orange Billionaire Man

>I love you, the business, the product, the margins, your clothes, your dog, your entire family history, together we could take over the world and this deal is very much in my favour

And for that reason I'm out.


Also who are the 5 regular sharks for the new season? Just downloaded episode 1 and Richard Branson was in it?

>God, this reminds me of when I invested in Uber

Why the fuck else would you buy 100%?
The way I see it Cuban is a better investor than the others, the man smells the money decades away. When he offers 100% it means he thinks there's tons of money down the line and he wants ALL of it.

I keep asking my self if I would be able to fuck her, the best part is I honestly don't know.
I could be unable to get hard Or just as easily get a rock hard erection thinking about her money

There was no change in Sharks, only more guests. Also you could tell Mark wanted to punch Branson's head off. He touched him twice and Mark went GET OFF

That said, Branson cucked everybody in that episode because he had the deepest wallet and didn't care about making investments. Mark got dethroned.

>Laurie the Blood Elf will never sit on your face whilst talking shit about your life's work

Why live

I bet he wears that shirt on purpose to piss people off.
He looks like he fucks 14 year olds behind the tilt-a-wurl

i want lori to wear high heels and kick me mercilessly in the nuts while she gags me with her worn panties

you picked THE worst picture of Lori.

>you will never be double teamed by Lori and Barbara

Why would anyone buy any percentage of a business? Calling someone "greedy" for investing is a little on the slow side, you know...

>*throws water at you
how do you react?

Laugh at his island that blew away

It's not investing, it's buying out. He's killing their dreams.

wait what happened? he's gotta a cheeky smile So I bet he baited someone

>sucking the capitalist cock
They work so hard by controlling our society’s allocation of resources and then allocating investment to enrich themselves. Such heroes. Get a real job, cucks. *blows Elon Musk*

it's an offer, not a hostile takeover. and usually the previous owner is employed afterwards, right?
that's not what I meant. I'm just saying that investments are greedy by definition.

he threw water at cuban in a thinly veiled scripted "altercation"

Look at what O'Leary said about being an entrepreneur: it's all about freedom. It's not nearly the same as being an employee.

>I'll give you $5,000 for 90% of your company, along with the right to enslave your firstborn as my new court jester

I like Shark Tank even though it’s neoliberal, Silicon Valley propaganda

I hate the word “entrepreneur” so much. What the sharks do on shark tank is just throw money at ideas they think will work. Lots of People watching at home could easily do that with the right resources. Being an investor isn’t that hard

Absolutely not. So many of these entrepreneurs are too in love with their idea, their baby, their company that they want to "take to the top". This causes them to be blinded by their love for their own company, blinded by the hours they put in and can't even imagine of giving it up for a lump of cash.

But this is literally the best case scenario they could ever hope for. Get bought out, live off the royalties.

The sharks that offer these deals only do so when they know the product is a home run. These people should accept the offer flat out.

Let O'leary/Cuban/whoever run the company, have it grow huge, and license the produce while you sit on a beach drinking cocktails raking in your royalty checks.

Based Kevin!

Isnt he running for office in Canada?

It's not scripted, Mark is absolutely against these kinds of things on the show. That's why he didn't participate in the T-Mobile advertisements and got them removed after he became a regular.

You can tell Branson was actually pissing him off but he seemed oblivious and thought it was all fun. On more than one occasion he touched Mark's arm and Mark seemed furious about it. Just two very different people.

Kevin is the best one, I know it's a TV show but business is business, they're lucky to get free advice from someone like him

I felt bad for him until I remembered he was a nigger

he gave up

Why are Barbara and Lori on the show? Just the ratings? They invest the least and Cuban could buy them out if he wanted to

>d6
What is the d6 chart like?

didnt mark get triggered by trump too?

Rob: "I'm going to give you exactly what you want but on weekends you have to go with me and kite surf."

> Are there any other offers

to make Jewish women commentary

>Cuban is so greedy he offered two women making a girl-oriented building toy exactly what they were asking for on the stipulation that they act as role models for his daughters
Huh?

>that redneck farmer who refused to raise the price for his tree tee pees because he sells to small farmers
If JP weren't there they would have laughed him out

"Your not a woman so therefore I'm out"

what did she mean by that?

Robert looks like the type of guy that would let you fuck his wife but act all pissy about it afterwards

that episode was -feels- central

didnt nobody want to take him until JP stepped in?

Cuban could buy everyone out. Like at any given time, Cuban could buy the rest of the people on the show out at the same time.

Also, the women are some of the best investors on the show, especially Lori. She legitimately knows how to pick winners and has made the most money on deals.

Rob: "You can go with Kevin and his whole perpetuity plan but you can come with me. I will give you more money for a lower percentage in the company. I'm just desperate for a new friend. You seem fun and hip and I need to find a new friend who will go snowboarding with me in the winters and surfing at my house on Malibu during the summer swells."

"Kevin, I accept your offer"

Actually she seems to be harder on the women sometimes.
She told that one black lady not to cry because it looks bad while she was crying.

Lori makes the best deals imo, like 80% of her picks are winners

and Barbara is pretty good with the food stuff too

At most they would have offered him a deal for PR and then cancel it after the taping, the same way they did with the fat nigress who made gumbo.

"You have 24 seconds to accept my offer or I'm out. The shot clock starts now"

> why is Mark obsessed with basketball?

These. No one sells product like Lori. She also has the biggest Shark Tank success ever, Scrub Daddy.

Robert actually made more investments than everyone else except Cuban

This. O'Leary's deals are usually amazing if you're not married to your business and just want to rest on a pile of cash.

When I first started watching the show I thought they were all about equal in net worth but then I found out that Cuban absolutely blows them the fuck out of the water by a huge margin and it's why he's so smug and almost disinterested

He's my favorite shark desu

She calls me Scrub Daddy

I'll give you the 75 thousand, but I want 35%, not 15, because I'm worth it and 15% doesn't get me excited enough. Also I want 5% of sales until I get my 75k back, then 2.5% in perpetuity. And I'm also gonna give you a loan for 300 thousand at 7 and a half percent and I want to be paid back in a year, because you're gonna need more money for distribution.

>smiles and shakes head

>BUT THERE'S NOTHING PROPRIETARY ABOUT YOUR PRODUCT!
>What's to prevent the biggest distributor to make an identical product and squash you like the cockroach that you are?

HAHAHAHAHAH

I both love and hate when he calls something poo poo

He was absolutely right about that one.

Are his deals actually bad? I'd much rather take a loan with interest for someone to own a lesser percentage than to keep all the money and have a bigger chunk taken

Just go to a bank if you want money, people go to shark tank for the expertise or to whore attention.

It depends. If you think the company can grow fast then yes loans are better. Otherwise they're giving you an initial boost but then sucking out a lot of liquidity that could be used to reinvest.

There's also a Canadian version of the same name.

>ok so maybe sales have dipped in the last year but I'm really PASSIONATE about this business
>*starts sobbing
>My PARENTS worked really hard to give me an opportunity growing up
cut to disinterested facial expressions of the sharks
>Kevin: But you're valuing your company at ten times sales, this is only worth 5 times sales at best, plus you're forgetting to value the tank! why are you giving the sharks a worse valuation than the first round of investors?

>ywn have a millionaire friend who genuinely wants you to spend time with him with no strings attached

God I wish he still ran for Conservative leadership, now the leader is some limpback cuckservative from Saskatchewan