Why am I peeing like I was up all night having sex?

>Why am I peeing like I was up all night having sex?

What did he mean by this?

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His pee goes in all different directions.

his piss was shooting out weird because he has left over cum in his cock

my cock is always encrusted with semen but it never shoots weird like a non-usa gun

>There are grown men that haven't had weird pee angles before

how?

is this a circumcision thing?
why would it make a difference after having sex, or having a morning boner?

Morning wood is more of a young man's game

Itt: virgins

No its because you can have old cum in your pee hole which causes your piss stream to shoot at odd angles.

This can also happen if their is a hair or your foreskin is stuck because your dehydrated or any number of possibilities.

Its like a small scale version of sticking your thumb at the end of a garden hose to make it spray out.

youtube.com/watch?v=ZdNNhgtYaGw

I'm 39 and still get raging morning wood

The timing of this scene was absolutely spot on. It got a guffaw out of me

youtu.be/ssoWc6MmrQ4

holy fuck are you me? this scene has been on my mind since i was a little kid, i feel like the residue theory just doesn't cut it for me.

Means your bladder is still working properly, unlike most white guys

Then your retarded and some kind of low-T manchild cause you never had that happen in your life

>your foreskin is stuck because your dehydrated
this is why it happens to me, but after jerking too much

In my teens I could jerk off 7 times a day, now I'm in my 20s I only crack out 3-4,
3rd orgasm feels great because it hurts a little.

>foreskin

I once got to 14 within 24 hours. Ah youth.

no, i just piss straight after i nut so that doesn't happen because i'm not a disgusting degenerate

>americans are literally proud of being mutilated by their (((overlords)))

How do you make sure your bladder works properly? I'm pretty sure mine isn't.

So your saying you never had sex, nutted and feel asleep next to your partner afterwards. Cause thats how that mainly happens dingus

Watching this again, my 18-year old self didn't get what the dildo was for

I spent years reflecting on this after catching it on TV
Good subject, OP

I've had my pee come out at weird angles before but never after sex or masturbating. This was one of the shittier Jim Carrey movies.

Check how strong your stream is, and how long you can hold fluid in it. And of course if your not pissing bits of blood then your mainly fine.

>he doesn't shower and pee pee after sex
What are we, cave men?
How the fuck do you sleep in all that dried sweat and cum, with vaginal mucus all over your face?

Actually, I'm a 21 year old virgin and I know exactly what he's talking about. Jokes on you, Chad

>go to piss once
>two separate streams shoot off in different directions

>it hurts a little.
You're going to get cancer
Doing things that "hurt a little" repeatedly for many years is guaranteed quicken aging and hurt a lot

>nutted and fell asleep next to your partner
Fuck you, dude.

> Both outside the bowl.
> You just woke / are hungover
> Groggy as fuck so you don't realize until its too late.

too real.

Is he holding up an index finger for "Once" or is he pointing both up and down to indicate pee stream diversion?

>falling asleep after sex

You must be a low energy faggot

I forgot to add the part where you leave the bedroom and cry for 15 mins