Tell me a racist joke, Sup Forums

Tell me a racist joke, Sup Forums

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niggers

Leftists

Since you have trips:

What's the difference between a white jew and a black jew?

Black jews sit at the back of the gas chamber.

Nigger walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.
Bartender says: "where the fuck did you get that thing?"
And the parrot says "Africa, there's fucking millions of em"

...

>what do you call a bunch of white people running down the hill?
Avalanche

>what do you call a bunch of niggers running down a hill?
Mudslide

>what do you call a bunch of spics running down a hill?
Prison break

>why do all Jewish men get circumcised?
Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's 20% off

>how did Moses make his tea?
Hebrews it, that Israeli how he does it

A black woman can tell if she is pregnant by pulling out her tampon and checking if all the cotton has been picked off.

>how do menstruation work?

What's the deal with black people?

[spoiler]They're not black[/spoiler] [spoiler]and they're not people[/spoiler]

>What do you call a flying Jew?

Smoke

What do you call a nigger in a tree with a briefcase?
Branch manager.

>what was the only thing missing from the million man march?
an autioneer

What do you call a nigger nailed to the side of a barn?
Antique farm equipment

>how do grammar work

You have to go back, Pajeet.

kek

Why can nigger kids play in the sand?
Cats keep burying them

>*can't
What is the worst 3 years of a niggers life?
First grade.

What do you call a paki who's fallen off a cliff?
Chocolate drop

What do you call a diy sandnigger?
Ahmed Mashed

Why did God make niggers smelly?

So blind people can hate them too.

What do you hcall a bhack man without the cereal beneath the outside of the teeth shavings fortunately

Why do swedes heat the sauna only to 40°C?

Because otherwise they would get dehydrated while fucking each other in the ass

How do you shove 50 jews in a single car?

You put two in the front, two in the back and the rest in an ashtray

What is the difference between a nigger and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of 4.

How do you fit 300 niggers in a shoe box?
Tell them it's the boat to Greece

Why do niggers have white hands, and feet?
>Everyone has at least a little good in them
How do you get a nigger out of a tree?
>Cut the rope
What do you call a bunch of nigger kids playing in a pool?
>Cocoa puffs
What do you call a bunch of nigger kids playing in the sprinklers?
>Gorillas in the mist

I will think of more in a minute. I got a ton of them.

>dem trips doe

>Why did the Sup Forumslack cross the road?
His dick was stuck in the chicken

Why did so many niggers move to Detroit?
They heard there were no jobs there

A white guy, a black guy and a Jew are crossing the street in New York City. A bus runs through the intersection against the traffic light and kills all three of them instantly. They are suddenly standing before St. Peter, astonished at how quick everything happened. The white guy says to St. Peter,
>This is not fair at all. We were living our lives and suddenly we're gone from the earth. I don't know about these other two gentlemen, but I have a family that's going to be having a hard time with this.
The black guy and the Jew nodded their heads in agreement.
The white guy continued,
>I think you should give us another chance. Put us back on the earth and let us live out the rest of our lives and be there for our families
St. Peter thought about it for a few seconds and said,
>okay, I'll talk to the Boss about it.
He left the three for a time, came back and said to them,
>okay, I've discussed it with God and He said that if you'll pay Him $1000, you can go back, the bus will stop and you'll cross the street and continue living your lives.

The white guy got out his wallet, handed St. Peter ten $100 notes and was instantly continuing to walk across the street. He was quite bewildered about what he had experienced and thought he needed a drink. He went to the first bar he could find and ordered a whiskey. He didn't at first want to tell anyone about his incredible experience but after a few drinks the urge to talk about it overcame him, so he told the whole story to the guy he was talking to, who though that he was not quite right in the head but seemed to be a really nice guy. Other than this story that he seemed to believe, there was nothing too much wrong with him. Perhaps, he thought I can make him realise that he's imagining things. So he asked,
>what about the other two people who were crossing the street with you?
to which the white guy answered,
Well, the Jew had him down to $500 and the black guy was arguing that the government should pay for it.

Why do Jews circumcise their sons?

Because Jewish women can't resist anything that's 10% off.

I know a good one.

Black lives matter.

What you call it when you sink 100 niggers into sea?
A jolly good start!

What is similar about a niggers birth and niggers death?
Both are missfires at the wallmarts parking lot.


Why hitler didnt use gypsies skin for lampshades?
Because those were full of knife holes.


(oh damn, these are so lost in translation! :DD :DD Benis)


Whats different between roadkill dog and roadkill nigger?
Dog has braking marks before it.


Hey nigger, why do you have so big eyes?
So i could see hunger better!

Hey nigger, why do you have flat nose?
"You arent coming into this bus!" (hand into face)

Hey nigger, why do you have so big ears?
"You come to this bus!" (pulls from ears)

An Englishman, a nigger, and a kike are sitting in a cafe in some desert country. A fly buzzes along and tries to settle on the Jew, he flicks it off. The fly buzzes over to the Englishman, he flicks it off. The fly buzzes over to the nigger, he catches it and eats it. A few minutes later, another fly buzzes over to the Jew. he catches it and says "get your fresh flies here, only $1 each!"

What would be the worse thing about another deadly train crash in India?
Empty seats

Did you have a stroke?

How did the NAZI's manage to gas so many jews?
gave away free train tickets to poland

A white guy, a black guy and a Jew are crossing the street in New York City. A bus runs through the intersection against the traffic light and kills all three of them instantly. They are suddenly standing before St. Peter, astonished at how quick everything happened. The white guy says to St. Peter,
>This is not fair at all. We were living our lives and suddenly we're gone from the earth. I don't know about these other two gentlemen, but I have a family that's going to be having a hard time with this.
The black guy and the Jew nodded their heads in agreement. The white guy continued,
>I think you should give us another chance. Put us back on the earth and let us live out the rest of our lives and be there for our families
St. Peter thought about it for a few seconds and said,
>okay, I'll talk to the Boss about it.
He left the three for a time, came back and said to them,
>okay, I've discussed it with God and He said that if you'll pay Him $1000, you can go back, the bus will stop and you'll cross the street and continue living your lives.
The white guy got out his wallet, handed St. Peter ten $100 notes and was instantly continuing to walk across the street. He was quite bewildered about what he had experienced and thought he needed a drink. He went to the first bar he could find and ordered a whiskey. He didn't at first want to tell anyone about his incredible experience but after a few drinks the urge to talk about it overcame him, so he told the whole story to the guy he was talking to, who though that he was not quite right in the head but seemed to be a really nice guy. Other than this story that he seemed to believe, there was nothing too much wrong with him. Perhaps, he thought, I can make him realise that he's imagining things. So he asked,
>what about the other two people who were crossing the street with you?
to which the white guy answered,
>Well, the Jew had him down to $500 and the black guy was arguing that the government should pay for it.

...

Nigger, gypsy and arab jump from a building, who wins?
Society.


Why niggers cry when they make love?
Because the pepperspray stings so bad.


Why niggers dont like chainsaws?
Because when you start it it sounds like RUNNRUNNIGGANIGGANIGGANIGGA

Whats a brave thing to do?
You shit on the front door of buggest nigger in the neighbourhood and ring the bell and tell him that his son has melted in the sun.

Why do lions lick their ass?
They want to get the taste of nigger out of their mouth.

Why do all black people run so fast?
The slow ones are in prison. KEK

What is the similarity between the KKK and Anphetamine?
They both make niggers run fast as fuck boiii

What happens when you put your hand into a jar of jellie beans without looking?
>The black ones steal all your jewelry.
What do you say when you see a T.V floating down the street at night?
>Drop it nigger! (works for bikes too)
What do niggers, and semen have in common?
>Only 1 in a couple million of them are actually going to work.

White people shoot their guns straight
Niggers shoot their guns sideways
And Spics punch with their guns when they shoot because they think it makes the bullets go faster.

fucking l m a o

what happens when a jew with an erection walks into a wall?

he breaks his nose

>A white guy, a black guys, and an hispanic guy all walk into a bar.
I'm surprised not one of them ducked.

Why do black women get so many abortions?

Crime stoppers pay the big bucks these days

Why don't you run over a nigger on a bike?
Its probably your bike

Scandinavian tourist went to africa for safari and met old nigger:
"Hi there, are there lions around?"

>"yessiir, yes there are..."

"What should i do if i meet a lion?"

>"Ssiiir, you should carry a little jingle bell with you so the lion can hear where you go and avoid you."

"How do you know theres lions around, i havent seen any...?"

>"Ssssiiir, i know from the shit. thers a lot of lion shit around."

"You lie, how do you know its a lions shit?!"

>"Sssiiiiir. i know because it has small jingle bells in it."

So I'm at a red light and a car full of niggers stops and starts whooping at me and blasting music and then pulls ahead only to be destroyed by an 18 wheeler going full speed through the intersection. I said to myself "Oh my God, that could've been me!" So the next day I set out to get a trucking license.

Why do niggers love the NBA?
It involves running, shooting and stealing

this is the difference between a black and white jew haaretz.com/israel-news/israel-admits-ethiopian-women-were-given-birth-control-shots.premium-1.496519

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?

The pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

Why do jews have such big noses? Because air is free.

Undr8td leftists are both racist and a big joke

3 niggers are in a car. Whos driving?

The cop.

How do you starve a nigger?

Hide his EBT card under his workboots.

Why do a nigger's eyes turn red during sex?

Mace.

Whats the difference between a nigger and a wind chime?

Niggers dont make noise once you hang them from a tree.

How many niggers does it take to change a light bulb?
>3
>One to screw in the light bulb, and the other two to throw feces at each other.

How many Swedes does it take to change a light bulb?
>2
>They have to apply sun tan lotion to each others back so they don't get burned from the florescent light when they turn it on.

Why do sheboons hate getting their periods?
It means they're at least 9 months away from the next welfare increase

What is a flying jew?
Smoke

What's tattooed inside every nigger's lips?

Inflate to 20psi

kek

Can you guys tell me the difference between a Jew and a pizza?

I don't like my pizza overdone.

>Why do swedes heat the sauna only to 40°C?
>Because otherwise they would get dehydrated while fucking each other in the ass
Thanks, Finland.

What do you call a Jewish Pokémon trainer?

Ash.

Question:
- Shaniquanda has 8 kids named D'Quondor
- How do you tell them all apart?
Answer:
-by their last names

Bobby comes in from recess. Teacher says, "Hi, Bobby! How was recess?" Bobby answers,
>"It was great! I played in the sandbox with Suzy and Ahmed."
"That's wonderful," says his teacher. "If you can spell 'Sand' on the chalkboard, I'll give you a lollipop." Bobby does, and teacher gives him a lollipop.

Next, Suzy comes in from recess. Teacher says, "Hi, Suzy! How was recess?" Suzy answers,
>"It was great! I played in the sandbox with Bobby and Ahmed."
"That's wonderful," says his teacher. "If you can spell 'Box' on the chalkboard, I'll give you a lollipop." Suzy does, and teacher gives her a lollipop.

Next, Ahmed comes in from recess, tears streaming down his face as he drags his feet. Teacher says, "Hi, Ahmed. How was recess?" Ahmed replies,
>"It was terrible. Bobby and Suzy called me a sand nigger and a camel fucker, and they buried me up to my neck in the sand box."
"WHAT?!" cries Teacher. "That's blatant racial discrimination! If you can spell 'Blatant racial discrimination' on the chalkboard, I'll give you a lollipop."

How do Jewish child molesters lure their victims?
>They say, "Psst, hey kid, want to buy some candy"

ATTENTION: CTR IS FREAKING THE FUCK OUT BECAUSE OF THE RECENT KKKILLARY KKKLINTON KKKAMPAIGN KKKATASTROPHE.

SHILLS ARE DESPERATELY SPAMMING POL WITH ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING TO DISTRACT FROM THE KKKILLARY KKKLINTON BODY KKKOUNT.

C T R
FUCKING
SUICIDAL

...

Two niggers walking down the street see a sign that says, "Turn White for $15." The two chimps turn their pockets inside out only to discover that one has a 20 dollar bill and the other one has a 10 dollar bill. Since neither one of them has exactly $15, they can't figure out how they can both get turned White.....Finally one of them has a stroke of genius. "You take $20 and go in there and get turned White, then when you come out you can give me your $5 change and then I will have $15 and I can get turned white, too!" "Bet, dog," says the other boot-lip, and he goes inside. 10 minutes later, you wouldn't believe it. That nigger was blond haired, blue eyed, and even had on a suit and a tie. The first nigger says, "Man, holy shit, I can't believe it, you are really White! Hurry up and give me that $5 so I can do it too!" "Fuck you, nigger, get a job!"

First one in the thread I've laughed at. From Sweden of all places...

What do you call a Fertilizer Jew

Ash

A passenger plane has an engine failure and the altitude and speed are decreasing rapidly.
The pilot speaks over the intercom, "I'm sorry it has come to this ladies and gentlemen, but unfortunately we are going to have to jettison the luggage in order for the aircraft to remain airborne ."
Baggage is thrown out but still the plane's altitude continues to decrease. Once again the pilot gets on the intercom.
"I hate to do this folks but in order to save the majority we are going to have to start off-loading some passengers. The only fair way is to do this is alphabetically, so we'll start with the letter 'A' ".
"Africans? Are there any Africans on board?"
There was no answer so the pilot calls out, "Black people, are there any black people on board?"
Again no answer .
" C - colored people? Are there any colored people on board?"
Still no answer.
A little black boy sitting near the rear of the plane turned to his mother and said, "Mum, ain't we African? Ain't we black? Ain't we colored?"
She replied,"Yes, son but for the moment we is Niggers. Let them do the Muslims first.

Why do I like Italian tires?

Because dago left, dago right, and when dago flat dago WOP WOP WOP WOP

kek

Are you a 1930s Irish gangster?

Actually chuckled

>Finnish humor

You guys are autistic, m8, stick to music

Those jokes work much better in finnish, much like many english jokes suck when told in finnish.

Implying half the world doesn't get injected with shit like this.

All races are equal

I used to frequent a metal forum and all the Finns on there had terrible senses of humor, no concept of abstraction or idiomatic humor

There was one Finn who kept trying to logically argue that Swedish Chef didn't make sense because "bork" isn't a real word in Swedish

Fucking humor killers

Sup Forums is a racist joke

How are people like jellybeans?
>nobody likes the black ones.

Black jelly beans are the best ones tho. Your joke should be "how are jelly beans different from humans? People can stomach black jelly beans"

what do you call a black rocket scientist?

A nigger

Abo walks into a bar, wearing one thong (flip-flop)
Barman says to him "Hey mate, you lost a thong

"Nah mate, found one"

That's a good one, Freedombro.

Did you hear there was a black out in New York last night?

Its ok they shot him.

What do you call 1000 blacks working in the field.
The good old days.

What do you call 1000 dead blacks at the foot of a hill?
A good start.

Jesus may have made thousands of people fish and bread
But only hitler made 60 million jews toast.

What do you do to a blind deaf and dumb girl after you raped her?
You break her fingers so she can't tell her mother.

My Japanese girlfriend got swept away in the tsunami, but you know what they say, there is plenty more of them in the sea.

How do you turn a coin into copper wire?
Throw it between two jews and watch them fight over it.

How do you turn London into a Turkish city? Drop a nuke on it.

What kind of ginormous pizzas do you fatsos have?

No, I'd rather not tell you a racist joke, since racism is a crime.
>
>
>and crime is for niggers

>Belgian poster
>he's a greedy fat fucker

Seems legit.

What's the difference between a book and Mexicans?
Books have papers

What do you do when you see a screaming nigger with half a head?
- Laugh and reload.

>3 Turks want to meet
>28 Turks come

>a couple of Turks sit in a bus and celebrate that 4 Millions Turks live in Germany nowadays
>a old women turns around and says "Once there were 6 million Jews in Germany"

>Why do Russians always steal at least 2 cars in Germany?
>Because they have to drive through Poland on the way home.

>How can you tell when a German is joking?
>He finishes his sentence with "that was a joke. You may laugh now."

>They say an Englishman laughs three times at a joke
>The first time when everybody gets it
>The second a week later when he thinks he gets it
>The third time a month later when somebody explains it to him.

>An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar

>The Englishman wanted to go so they all had to leave.

>What's the difference between a shopping trolley and a German?
>A shopping trolley has a mind of it's own

>What do you call a German in a world cup final?
>The referee

> What did the Jewish pedophile say?
"Hey little girl, wanna buy some candy?"

> What's the fastest way to make copper wire?
Throw a penny between two Jews

> What do you call a white guy surrounded by three black guys?
Victim

> What do you call a white guy surrounded by thirty black guys?
Coach

> What do you call a white guy surrounded by three hundred black guys?
Warden

> What do you say when you've TV starts floating around in the middle of the night?
"Drop it, nigger!"

> What if it's your refrigerator?
Nothing, that's one big-assed nigger