RIVERDALE

Will you be watching, Sup Forums?

youtube.com/watch?v=3GGEugC3Z8Q

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Why is it all dark and ominous looking?

>Moose hooking up with Kevin Keller

But the milfs...

I feel cheated.

Because it's supposed to be a pastiche of "Twin Peaks", according to the producers.

This can't be more fucking CW if they tried

I remember when CW had a string of "limited events" murder shows that run 8 episodes. Those were comfy

Hidden Palms! That's the name!

Ok, I'm not too familiar with Archie but this all seems totally wrong. They're all supposed to be schlubs and girls next door types, right? And, above all else, it's a comedy. Not a foreboding crime drama.

And Archie's hair, goddamn. That poster looks like a really bad photoshop job, but it looks just as bad in the videos. Couldn't get an actual ginger, because gingers aren't sexy enough to be the lead on a CW show I guess.

It's gonna be a train wreck, but the question is will it be a entertaining train wreck? I hope so, because I do plan on hate watching.

okay
why?

>Moose hooking up with Kevin Keller
Where the fuck did you get that from? Archie fucks his teacher in the trailer.

Apparently there are going to be some incestuous vibes between Jayson and Cheryl, but he gets murdered.

Also apparently in episode 7 they have a sleepover and Veronica and Betty kiss.

The thing about Twin Peaks is that it had that small town charm overlay.

This just seems to be all grouse.

Also not enough Ethel

They're the ones that find Jason's body in the trailer, and reviews did say Kevin finds an "unexpected hookup" in the tail end of the first episode.

Also there's a Betty/Veronica kiss in the first episode already, so they'll probably be lezzing it up a few times at least.q

Fuck it, why not

It's a joke of a joke. I mean, you have Jughead as a Noir-ish omniscient narrator throughout the whole thing.

Why is Josie black? Is Valerie white?

They do realise that this is FUCKING ARCHIE, right?

Is that so?

Then I hope there's a bunch of Ethel.

Jughead and Big Ethel is the best pairing.

They're all black.

so what is there deal? witches?(I know nothing about this IP)

Ethel is confirmed for three episodes at least, played by Barb from STRANGER THINGS.

Also Molly Ringwald is playing Archie's mother.

>That dark ominous music
>Violent teen drama fights
>Implication that Archie is a lone wolf character
>Utilizing Vampire Diaries as an association for the show
>Archie being muscular and ripped

I just don't understand. This is literally Tristar Godzilla tier adapting.

>not jughead/burgers
take that designated off your name right now you dont deserve it

Damn, only three?

I think that one way to have fun with this is to have her tag along with Jughead, undercutting the seriousness of it all.

It's from Aguirre-Sacasa.
I know people like Afterlife and Sabrina...but it's par for the course.

Don't you see?
They should SHARE the burgers.

"Archie" is a wholesome 1950's comic series about wholesome 1950's teenagers getting into wholesome 1950's shenanigans. The core conflict is usually the love triangle between everyman Archie, girl next door Betty and sexy rich girl Veronica.

The show is basically making a noir pastiche murder mystery out of it. They're teens in a seemingly wholesome 1950's-esque small town, but everyone has DARK SECRETS and MYSTERIOUS AGENDS 'n shit.

>unexpected hookup
Jughead has already been rewritten as an emo, caffeine-holic (no hamboigas), so I wouldn't be surprised if they make him a fag too.

>Also there's a Betty/Veronica kiss in the first episode already, so they'll probably be lezzing it up a few times at least.q
As it should be.

>wholesome 1950's-esque small town

Except it's more of a Michigan-esque dreary town

>Also there's a Betty/Veronica kiss in the first episode already, so they'll probably be lezzing it up a few times at least.q
>this is the only possible universe where betty and veronica will hook up
all I'm asking for is a one shot book archie. have archie get with cheryl while ronnie and betty realize they want each other more than him

I'm surprised they gave Jughead his hat.

Ethel is hooking up with someone else in the show.

They kinda' made it sound like she's a lesbian, so it's either that or Archie will bone her too. He's already getting with Betty, Veronica, Ms. Grundy and Josie at different points in the show.

Truly the worst

what about true best girl? midge?

muh dik famalam

>Archie actually getting play
>not a hapless virgin constantly being cucked
Not much Archie

>As a new school year begins, the town of Riverdale is still reeling from the recent, tragic death of golden boy Jason Blossom. The summer's events have made local teen Archie Andrews (KJ Apa) realize that he wants to pursue a career in music and not follow in his father Fred's (Luke Perry) footsteps in the construction business, and he sets up to strike a partnership with snooty classmate Josie McCoy (Ashleigh Murray), the frontwoman of the popular band Josie & The Pussycats. Also weighing on his mind is his fractured friendship with sullen heartthrob Jughead Jones (Cole Sprouse) and his forbidden liaison with music teacher Geraldine Grundy (Sarah Habel).

>Meanwhile, girl-next-door Betty Cooper (Lili Reinhart) is anxious to see her crush Archie after being away all summer, but she's not quite ready to reveal her true feelings to him. When a new student, Veronica Lodge (Camilla Mendes), arrives in town from New York, there's an undeniable spark between her and Archie, even though Veronica doesn't want to risk her new friendship with Betty by making a play for him.

>Cheryl Blossom (Madeline Petsch), Riverdale's Queen Bee and Jason's twin sister, is happy to stir up trouble amongst Archie, Betty, and Veronica, but she is keeping secrets of her own. Specifically about her brother's mysterious death, secrets that Archie might be connected with. Archie's newfound popularity also earns him the enemity of the town prankster, Reggie Mantle (Ross Butler), who becomes hellbent on taking Archie down.

>Riverdale may look like a small, quiet town, but there is darkness hidden underneath the shadows, and as Archie and his friends venture further into its mysteries, its secrets are slowly brought to life.

I'm gonna watch it in a morbid way
Like how you look at a train kill people in a crash

The character blurbs that often get posted.

ARCHIE ANDREWS (K.J. Apa)

>Archie is an intense and conflicted high school sophomore, who is still boyishly handsome but got pumped after working construction for his dad during the summer. He is grappling with heavy issues and juggling the unexpected interest of several girls while discovering his passion for writing and performing music against his father and his football coach’s better wishes. He harbors more than one dark, terrible secret.

The girl they have playing Miss Grundy is 34 and not even married. Even if Grundy is a spinster, they should've gotten at least a 40 year old milf to play her.

They should also get someone like Rob Lowe to play Weatherbee.

BETTY COOPER (Lili Reinhart)

>Betty is a sophomore with self-esteem issues who hails from a dysfunctional family. Eager-to-please, wholesome and studious, she has long harbored a crush for her best friend, Archie. Tired of being the "perfect" everything, she turns to her new friend, Veronica, for life advice, and adopts a new attitude that results in friction with her domineering mother, Alice.

VERONICA LODGE (Camilla Mendes)

>A silver-tongued stunner, Veronica has just returned to Riverdale from New York with her divorcee mother, following a scandal which resulted in her father going to prison. Extremely intelligent, self-confident and immediately popular, Veronica is a sophomore and is eager to reinvent herself — from Mean Girl to caring friend. She quickly develops an intense mutual attraction with Archie, but is reluctant to act on it due to her new friend Betty's own interest in him.

CHERYL BLOSSOM (Madelaine Petsch)

>This fiery redhead is rich, entitled and never accountable. A manipulative mean girl who kills with kindness, she recently lost her twin brother Jason Blossom, with whom she shared a particularly close and intimate relationship, in a mysterious accident.

>Grimdark
>Jughead is telling Archie not to talk about the dead kid
>Not eating dem burgers

JUGHEAD JONES (Cole Sprouse)

>Jughead is a hearing-impaired, caffeine-addict, sullen heartthrob with a philosophical bent. The lanky lad is Archie’s former best friend, seeing as the two still are smarting from a rift that took place between them. Angry, Jughead refuses to take the olive branch being proffered by Archie, the hurt goes that deep. Jughead is also dedicated to uncover the mystery of Jason Blossom's death.

>Jughead is also dedicated to uncover the mystery of Jason Blossom's death.

As ridiculous as the rest is...this might be the only interesting bit

REGGIE MANTLE (Ross Butler)

>The town prankster, Reggie is a wealthy and sarcastic sophomore who fashions himself as the big man on campus, feeling threatened by Archie's sudden popularity, Reggie vows to destroy his newfound nemesis.

KEVIN KELLER (Casey Cott)

>Betty's cheerful, openly homosexual, quick-witted friend, Kevin struggles to mend fences with his conservative father, who refuses to accept his son's lifestyle, and is looking for love in all the wrong places.

JOSIE McCOY (Ashleigh Murray)

>Josie is a gorgeous, snooty and ambitious sophomore, and the lead singer for popular band Josie and the Pussycats, which also includes her friends Valerie Brown and Melody Valentine. She has zero interest in recording any songs written by fellow teen Archie, but that won't stop him from trying.

Wtf I thought archie was about going to beach and having fun and shit

>imgur.com/a/vXQld
no it's about being brutally murdered by sharks and aliens

VALERIE BROWN (Irie Hayleau)

>The ambitious, career-obsessed songwriter, bassist, and backup vocalist of the popular band Josie & The Pussycats, Valerie is the least receptive to Archie's efforts to collaborate with the group.

MELODY VALENTINE (Asha Bromfield)

>The cheerful and naive drummer of the popular band Josie and the Pussycats, always following Josie's lead.

MOOSE MASON (Cody Kearsley)

>The star player of Riverdale High's football team, Moose becomes fast friends with Archie when he decides to join the team.

DILTON DOILEY (Daniel Yang)

>The smartest kid in town, Dilton is one of Archie's classmates at Riverdale High.

ETHEL MUGGS (Shannon Purser)

>An introverted student who is drawn into a friendship with Veronica and Betty after they team up for a revenge plot on Archie's rival, Reggie, Ethel comes into her own and develops a singular relationship with an unexpected someone.

I actually think this is gonne be really great, you can't have a show that's just >TWO GIRLS LIKE THIS GUY AND THERE'S THIS GUY WITH THE BURGERS

I'm claiming the one on the left, muh dick.

Josie and the Pussycats is now a Destiny's Child ripoff

STAY OUTTA RIVERDALE!

No. Archie hasn't been cool since...

Actually they've never been cool. Like, ever.

Even if it had been cool, the forced diversity / PC pandering makes it a no-show for me.

Yeah. I'm gonna pass on grimdark Archie. Afterlife with Archie is good enough...

hope it can sate me until real twin peaks is back

So basically Derry?

TINA PATEL (Olivia Ryan Stern)

>Cheryl's vicious best friend and second-in-command, Tina will stop at nothing to become the resident queen bee of Riverdale High.

GINGER LOPEZ (Caitlin Mitchell Markovitch)

>One of Cheryl's cronies, Ginger comes off as ditzy and airheaded, but might know more about the seedy going-ons at Riverdale than it appears.

God damn that jawline, that's the best damn casting choice of them all.

I'm first in line, motherfuckers. Shit's gonna be tight.

I would have slapped a red wig on Clint Howard and called it a day. Probably why I'm not the casting guy on this show.

>not a single mention of humor in jughead's entire character description

Holy shit, one of the twins.

FRED ANDREWS (Luke Perry)

>Archie's father, Fred is a generally easygoing owner of the family construction company, who hopes Archie will take over the business one day. However, he is not without skeletons in his closet.

MARY ANDREWS (Molly Ringwald)

>Archie's mother, Mary left Riverdale two years ago to follow her dreams, but returns in her family’s hour of need. She not only reconnects with Archie and her husband, Fred, but also her former high school friends Hermione Lodge and Alice Cooper.

Duhh stay out of Riverdale.

HAL COOPER (Lochlyn Munro)

>Betty's father, Hal is supportive in contrast to Alice's demanding nature, but disapproves of Betty's blossoming relationship with Archie.

>"from the network that brought you Gossip Girl and The Vampire Diaries"
>not associating the show with actual comic book stuff -- not even iZombie

kek. It's gonna suck. More than that, it's not going to be like the comics at all. Riverdale isn't meant for you, my friends.

ALICE COOPER (Madchen Amick)

>Betty's distant, emotionally brittle mother, Alice is a succesful newspaper publisher and has a tempestuous relationship with her daughter, upon whom she imposes exceedlingly high expectations.

HERMIONE LODGE (Marisol Nichols)

>Veronica's seductive, equally silver-tongued mother, who returns to Riverdale in search of new and better prospects after he husband's scandalous imprisonment.

SIERRA McCOY (Robin Givens)

>Josie's mother, Sierra is the mayor of Riverdale and is determined to protect the town's image, which becomes difficult in light of the murder of one of its favorite sons.

GERALDINE GRUNDY (Sarah Habel)

>A dedicated but lonely music teacher at Riverdale High, Ms. Grundy soon finds herself in a forbidden relationship with Archie, one of her students, one that she is determined to maintain a secret no matter what.

whoever wants to bang milfs has good taste desu

POP TATE (Alvin Sanders)

>The soulful and humorous owner of the local hangout place that attracts the teens of Riverdale, Pop is always ready to lend a helping hand to the kids.

>Ms. Grundy
>looking like that
>Ms. Grundy
>in a relationship with Archie
I'm not sure if I like this or not.

POLLY COOPER (Tiera Skovbye)

>Betty's edgy, rebellious older sister who returns to Riverdale after moving away for college.

OSCAR (Raul Castillo)

>A successful songwriter from New York who accepts a position as a visiting professor at Riverdale's Carson College, and agrees to audition Archie in the hopes of possibly mentoring the aspiring singer-songwriter.

>Miss Grundy
>Not Jane Lynch
meh

BOSS (Skeet Ulrich)

>The leader of the Southside Serpents, a gang of dangerous criminals that live and operate on the fringes of Riverdale. He has a mysterious connection to Jughead.

I wanna make CW Bingo but i'm just too creative. This has a great combo of too attractive CW stars, stunt casting, and it's plots like the student and teacher fucking that make it CW

I though I recognized him, but I've never seen anything he's been in.
Although he was Mr. Popo in the Canadian dub of DBZ.

Well I don't mind this much but I wish he has a bit more facial hair.

It's Aunt May all over again.

>as if iZombie is like the comics

Is this guy from the comic??

I don't see the problem

I got more excited watching David Lynch eating a donut for 20 seconds today than I did for any of the advertising surrounding this show.

Who the fuck reads Archie enough to want a comic accurate portrayal
We're not in the great depression

well yeah that has 25 years of build up

The closest comic to this would be the flashback panels of Archie's Afterlife series.

Umm...they didn't photoshop that woman's nipple out?

>Fool everyone into thinking Twin Peaks
>It's actually IT
CW is not THAT clever

>Molly Ringwald
80's
>Skeet Ulrich
90's

This show is a blast from the past.

CW doesn't have the balls to portray a character like Bowers or fucking Patrick. Could you even imagine the meltdown people would have? And that's before we get into that one infamous scene.

CW has no problem with violence, THE 100 is edgy as fuck.

youtube.com/watch?v=aOb6SvwS49w

youtube.com/watch?v=WbVJoeQzf8g

Disturbing sexual content, though, they really don't go there.

Man I'm hyped for The 100 s4.