Thoughts?

Thoughts?

It's shite untill you take it out of context.

Can you explain like I'm a reddit?

its best period piece ever made

the ass was phat

PALE
FAT
BOOTY

/alienwaifu

>le periods piece

post vvitch ass

Rick and Morty is better.

What ass? There isnt a single ass shot in the movie.

If only all movies were half as good as this movie I might watch more movies.

Boring as fuck, I want my money back even though I pirated it.

this

People who complain that "nothing happens" in this movie couldn't understand the dialogue and there is nothing you can say to convince me otherwise.

Witch: The story of a fairly reasonable man who put his dick in a crazy

Did you fall asleep?

Maybe.

Boring as fuck and not scary.

>budding male sexuality is hilarious
>budding female sexuality is scary and literally Satan

Le yawny shit: the movie

>implying Black Pete didn't jump scare you when he did that thing

Fucking fun. Made me buy a goat. Literally, I bought a black Philip.

Pics?

I don't remember the goat doing anything scary, jump scare or otherwise.

The only jump scare that I remember was when the witch grabbed the boy outside her hut. It was a mediocre jump scare at best, and the only thing approaching anything scary in the movie, and deeply hypocritical since earlier in the movie the writer/director mocked jump scares with the peekaboo scene.

Speaking of the writing, all he did was read the wikipedia article on "witches" and called it good. He covers everything from ergot-caused hallucinations to the magic flying mashed baby butter. Like paint by numbers. It's like watching two hours of a plagiarized student essay.

>Speaking of the writing, all he did was read the wikipedia article on "witches"
user, Eggers the director is the biggest most autistic fanboi of that era/subject ever. The majority of the script is taken literally from actual New England Folktales.
You're talking absolute bullshit, stop embarassing yourself.

when he gores the dad at the end

Best horror films in decades and one of the best films of recent times in general.
It gave me hope that filmmaking is not dead.

He is still young so he looks more like Prince and less like Satan at this point.... But yeah, This is Black Philip.

Cute, user.

Zzzzz

>Black Pete

>biggest most autistic fanboy

That's how he hypes himself. Which is why I found it so amusing the only research he did was of wikipedia.

Didn't find it a jump scare. Just more, "oh look, another shitty thing happening to people who've had shitty things happening to them the whole damn movie."

I wonder how fucked up in the head you have to be in order to actually believe this.

You have to be a teenager and mistake pretentiousness for maturity.

>Caleb literally staring at his sister's tits every scene they're in together

I was rooting for that little shitter.

The score was so irritating I couldn't focus.

>you are a teenager if you don't enjoy the most boring movie ever made
Hmm

Hey all of you "REDDIT PLEB PRETENTIOUS" autists, can you form a single coherent buzzword-free argument against the film?

see

"Boring" is not a valid argument, it only says what your mood was while watching the film.
Same as saying "it was fun", that does not indicate anything about the actual quality of the film whatsoever.

see

Well, movies are entertainment.
This movie was the opposite of that.

not enough diversity

>"mobies are entertainment xD"
So all films by Tarkovsky, Bergman, Tarr are shit then?

How is this film in any way pretentious? Its very on-the-nose.

Who?

Incredibly good movie, I'm surprised by how straight it really was played. A story ripped directly out the of the 17th century, and I appreciate it for that. I'd like to have seen just a little more of the witch herself, though, just to maintain her presence.

It's not a movie made for the cinema going audience at large, people went in expecting a spoopy witch horror movie and got what was ostensibly an in-universe period piece instead. Fairly ballsy, I'd say. There's another Insidious movie coming out in January for people who didn't like this one.

I'm interested to see what Eggers does with Nosferatu next.

The film isn't, the retards who like it are.

"Hurr, they speak in early modern english and where period costumes and it's all historical and shit and not scary but that makes it intelligent it's what makes it a good horror movie ironically so deep."

You sound like a massive retard m8

Not a single valid argument against the film yet. All you fuckers do is talk about the people who like the film, not the film itself.

It's kind of embarrassing to admit but I actually found this movie pretty scary.

CUTE!

Keep us updated with pictures and his antics. Just make a vvitch related OP so the fun police don't get mad.

post anya or go home

someone post ass shot pls

Try: It might be accurate that the crazy bitch ruins everything irl but she was such a total drag on this film. The location filming could've also done with more work considering that forest seemed pretty new and lacked claustrophobia.

In fact the film in general could've done with more claustrophobia.

The VVaifu

Very lovecraftian, me likey.

How can a forest "lack" or induce claustrophobia?
The forest shots were used to show the utter isolation and the dread waiting in it, the terror lurking inside of it. Only the shots inside that hut could be "claustrophobic" and they were to some extent, especially considering the aspect ratio it was filmed in making everything seem quite narrow.

>How can a forest "lack" or induce claustrophobia?

Low light levels, lack of uninterrupted vision, old growth rather than new pattern. Even just playing with fog can change the feeling of a wooded place.

With my luck he will eventually gut me and I'll bleed out while my daughter dances in the woods.

>my daughter

Pics?

Nearly everything about this movie is great; acting, sets, cinematography, directing and so on. The one mistake it made is revealing too much to the audience too early. We know there's a witch that got its eyes on the family and that the daughter had nothing to do with Samuel's abduction or the whole silver cup shenanigans.

Had this been left ambigious then I think the scenes were the daughter is accused of thievery/witchcraft would've been much more intriguing and tense. As it were I was just sitting there waiting for the parents to move on from their wrongful accusations and the plot to go in a another direction, but that doesnt happen. The parents gets increasingly irrational and die due to it and then we get to the (specatcular) ending

That isn't claustrophobic, that is only isolating and disorienting.
Claustrophobic are tight non escapeable places where you can't move, not foggy vast forests where you can't see in the distance much.

...

why did they use V V instead of a W?

Says the douche who liked The VVitch.

Picture was an example of what even a little morning fog can do.

>Claustrophobic are tight non escapeable places where you can't move, not foggy vast forests where you can't see in the distance much.

Try getting deep into an old growth forest.

>reee where's my jumpscares?? this isn't like my insidious movies

Not spooky.

That's kind of the point of the movie, they were all sinful and in the wrong except her which is tied nicely with her opening prayer monologue. The story is within how they go down that rabbit hole and exploring why. They do give away a bit much, but it is also refreshing to see things given to us so freely in a way.

W doesn't have a latin origin and I don't think was commonly or used at all in the time period.

Here old growth forests are easier to navigate. Trees gradually die off, leaving only the oldest and largest timbers out competing everything except moss and ferns for nutrients, and the low branches die due to lack of light, making a high canopy. It's forests regrowing after a fire or logging that are dense.

>easy to navigate

No, it's actually super easy to get lost if you wander off trail. Still wouldn't call it claustrophobia though.

Very eerie, very unsettling, pretty gross, but not "horrifying" like the Blair Witch Project is.

Also, I felt that the script kept forcing the characters into positions they shouldn't of been in.

Too fake lovecraftesque and arcadey for my liking honestly

...

pretty sure its trolling. like bringing up BvS for everything, or Idris Elba

nobody would be childish enough to harbor that sentiment unironically, haha

>Everyone falling for the worlds most obvious body double

And you guys consider yourselves experts

>the most boring movie ever made

More evidence that you're a teenager.

>I am a very old mature gentleman who browse an anime imageboard
Kys

One of the only good movies 2010+

>an anime imageboard

This is an imageboard for Television and Film, even more proof your a teenager. Keep adding up the tallies kiddo.

>I'm completely incapable of appreciating a movie in any way beyond its surface visuals

haha but we post on Sup Forums right my ironic millennial friend?

I was really turned on at the end. I'm not even sure why.

>angry old losers are spouting gibberish
Lol

haha nigger

>using racism to seem le cool

Even more proof that you're a teenager. You don't miss a beat do you?

i want to stick my tongue in thomasins butt

fuck goats

...

See

>self-referencing yourself as a same fag

The list just keeps getting bigger, friendo, it doesn't look too good for you.

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Crikey I bet they're soft

This whole film I was waiting for the kid to sneak a peak up her skirt, or sneak a grab, or a kiss while she was sleeping....Nothing...Was very disappointed.

And a tip to you my fellow leddit gentlesir

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Ultimate horror pleb filter

only good scene