You get three wishes, Sup Forums! What will it be?

You get three wishes, Sup Forums! What will it be?

And reminder of the rules:
>No wishing for more wishes
>Can't make anyone fall in love with anyone else
>Won't bring people back from the dead.

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But can you wish to retroactively prevent someone's death?

I wish for more genies.

I wish you didn't have those rules.

I wish for you to give me a blowjob and swallow my cum.

Ive been preparing my whole life for this.

I wish you will grant the intent of my wishes, and not the literal meaning.

I wish for the ability to undo any wish at any point, even from beyond the grave.

And finally...

I wish for a magical amulet capable of granting my wishes, and mine alone, with the first two wishes already prepared.

Make Wendy Corduroy interesting.

Absolutely. In fact, that's how he saved Aladdin's life.

Granted, but they're spread across the Earth protected by other Cave of Wonders bullshit.

>Absolute control over the thoughts and actions of every person on the planet
>complete immunity from physical injury of any kind
>ability to end any person's life just by willing it

say hello to your new God Emperor

1. I wish I don't have to go in to work tomorrow

2. I wish for a big pizza

3. I wish I would find like 5 dollars on the ground

...

i wish i could go inside videos and have it be like the world the video was made in was real

...

>Granted, but they're spread across the Earth protected by other Cave of Wonders bullshit.

Great. Second wish is to have all those lamps in front of me instead of in all those caves.

So Hypothetically speaking I can wish that Steve-o never got shanked by that sting ray?

You could wish for him to be saved in another timeline but it won't be your own or wish to go back in time and then have your second wish be for him to not die. Would you like to go back a whole decade, user?

>Dealing with dickish wish granting creatures
>Not wishing for a lawyer as your first wish

It's like you all want to get savagely burned by your poor choice of words

My first wish is that any and all future wishes will not in any way negatively affect me or anybody I care about.

Granted. But can't change their personality, user! You don't know what kind of tricksters you might unleash in there.

Hope you don't die.

I wish all wishes before mine were cancelled

I wish only I could make a wish

I wish genies didn't exist anymore

You do realize that the loophole to that wish is the taking away of all your other wishes, right?

Granted. They're all in a line, directly in front of you, exactly one million miles apart, including the first one.

I wish I knew exactly what to ask to get infinite wishes

No more wishes.

You are now own a lawyer, who's first action is to sue you for owning his personhood.

Your first wish should always be "I want a list detailing the 10 best wishes that would benefit myself, how to word them, and in a form I could read and manage."

As always, I wish for all the powers, abilities, and magical traits attributed in myth to the Greek god Zeus.

pro tip: use the words "within reason" to ensure proper compliance

>I want a list detailing the 10 best wishes that would benefit myself
>how to word them
>and in a form I could read and manage
That's all three of your wishes, user!
Commas means another wish, not one long wish!

But that wouldn't even be on Earth

That's not how any language works, user. Are you a dunce?

I would wish for every super power of every character in the marvel, Dc, and dbz universe

I wish that any wish i make you yave to follow even when you are free
I wish that you never do anything to harm humans
I wish for your freedom

It's how wishing works. Otherwise I could just make a dozen wishes but phrase it in such a way that it's a run-On sentence.

Don't several powers conflict and/or kill the owner?

5 seconds later he turns you into a frog and kills you since you're no longer a human

Turning me into a frog counts as harm. Psycologically.

Surely someone in those universes have immortality, and regenerative properties. I'm set. I never said I had to use them all at once.

No you couldn't because you would be wishing for several objects, opposed to specifying the nature of one object.

One can wish for a door.
One can wish for a room.
One can wish a house.
A town.
A nation.
A planet.

Specifying has always been allowed.

>immortality, indestructibility, and eternal youth

Have fun in billions of years when all humans died out ans you are just floating through space for eternity

I wish I had a turkey sandwich.

Specifying with condensed words is what helps you in this case. But if you said I wished for a planet that had its own renewable energy source on it with sentient life that worshiped me, those would all be separate wishes.

Wishes? Yeah right. I bet he can't even get me out of this cave.

1. Bendis, Slott, Snyder and Hopeless are all banned from working for any major comic company

2. Each time I put my hand in one of my pockets on any article of clothing, I will draw out a 100 dollar bill, no strings attached, no catch.

3. Action cartoons such as Young Justice and Earth's Mightiest Heroes, are afforded twice the budget that kids animated shows (Steven Universe, Teen Titans Go) are given.

Fight me and tell me my wishes are shit, do it faggot.

does wishing to be rich and handsome count as making anyone fall in love with you?

How young are we talking when we say eternal youth? I don't want to be 13 forever.

Just change immortal to immune to illness. That way you could always just pass out from the lack of oxygen once you get to the heat death.

And in your eternal slumber dream of the world and be a god.

#2 sounds like a great reason to kidnap you and demand you repeatedly pull out money for me

Alladin wished to be a prince so no

It's a great source, 10 to 1 says I just befriend you and hire you as one of many bodyguards.

As long as you aren't an idiot who flaunts your endless wealth and you just act like a balanced member of society, no one would realize you had magic pockets and no one would target you specifically.

>Each time I put my hand in one of my pockets
so you can never put anything at all in your pockets again?
itd be better to make it a specific pocket

It could be twisted to be that way, but the way I see it, you pull your wallet out of your pocket and a 100 dollar bill. I didn't specify, but it's not implied that the money is the only thing I can pull out of my pockets.

1. I wish I was a pretty girl
2. I wish all my favorite shows were un-cancelled
3. I wish we had snow here at christmas time

But in the original story Aladdin wish for "a palace more magnificent than the Sultan's".

I wish to completely erase the time from to 7/11/14 to 8/30/15 from my mind.

I wish my eye wasn't fucked up.

I wish I could read at superhuman speeds.

>I wish for a paper-written list of every wish that I would want granted by a genie if that genie came with unlimited wishes

>I wish that the wishes on this list are written in clear, easy to understand language that can not be misinterpreted by anyone or anything

>I wish for everything on this list

Tell you what - if I wish for health and wealth as my first two wishes, and you don't try to screw me over on some monkey's paw creative interpretation bullshit, I'll use my third wish to free you. Sound good?

I wish Megas XLR was revived for a proper finale

I wish Cartoon Network and Nick never went to shit

I wish i could have sex with Zero Suit Samus

I could see the amulet being within the purview of "no wishing for more wishes", honestly. Loophole harder.

First wish: I wish that the djinn is bound to me in a one way relationship such that it suffers proportional positive and negative consequences for any and all current and future wishes relative what I experience.
Second wish: I wish I knew what to wish for.
Third wish: ?????

What if it's evil and it just fucking kills you after the third wish?

You don't even need a genie for two of those

Right, and by doing that, he would automatically get a palace with more guards and jewels because the wish dictated it. All it had to do was take the source material and make it better. He didn't wish for a palace more magnificent that could also fly like a rocket ship, because the original palace couldn't do that so it would just be a new thing, not an "added thing that makes it more magnificent".

If you use more and more commas, trickster genies will count those as wishes to get out of doing more wishes for you. Genie wishes are almost always a gamble unless they're Robin Williams so you have to just hope you first wish of "I want a detailed list of the most safe wishes to make" will infer that it will also be a list that contains wishes that won't harm you in any way. Adjectives are better than commas.

>I wish I knew what to wish for
A VOLCANO

I wish I had bought 5000$ worth of bitcoins when they were at their lowest and sold them when they were at their highest.

If I burn to death so does the genie.

Proportional negative consequences, remember?

i believe ricky gervais said something about this mindset
just wish for a billion (insert currency here) dude

>I wish my favorite shows were un-cancelled
You can't bring back the dead

...

Too risky. I'd probably get arrested for money laundering even before taking into account monkey paw bullshit.

Maybe Apple or Google stocks would be better.

I wish I was much more intelligent.
I wish I could shapeshift.
I wish I had a large spacecraft that I could live on with FTL capabilities.

Also note that the second and third wishes might change based on the first wish's results.

Well let's first assume you are right, the list would probably nothing but banal things that you wouldn't waste a wish on.

Now assuming you are wrong, what happens if you wished for "A flying palace more magnificent than the sultans."

Any story I want to publish will get published by whatever publisher I approach. (Comics, Books, etc)

I would wish to eliminate all childhood diseases. (JR Cancer, Rheum)


I would free the genie

Wasn't the wishing episode for that show a skull with numbered crystal eyes that counted down or am I remembering?

You broke the universe as a lot of those probably contradict.

I want trips

now thats just mean

I wish to become a free genie like you at the end of the movie

Then uh, some oreos and milk

2 more wishes lets try that again.

I WISH FOR THE POWER OF REPEATING DIGITS.

What happened?

one more wish left user, just hope no-one steals those repeating digits

The second way would be the best way to avoid trickster bullshit, so you'd get exactly what you wanted.

>user silently curses magic for not being real
>He gets up a little disappointed only to trip over himself

KEK GUIDE ME THIS IS MY LAST HOPE.

You are asking the wrong magical being.

Only Kek can grant you digits.

Praise KEK.

This is a good time to remind people that everything that happened in "Aladdin" after Aladdin made his first wish was Genie working to fulfill that wish.

reddit.com/r/FanTheories/comments/5h9w9f/the_entire_movie_of_aladdin_was_simply_the/

I wish for a good job.
I wish for friends.
I wish for a girlfriend.

>be indestructible
>can still drown or be smothered
Shit loophole, and with a horrible death to boot.

Low oxygen levels makes you ill.

>Genie working to fulfill that wish
then why did one wish have to be used to save his life? wouldn't genie save him to fulfill the 1st wish?

>first wish: awesome magical car

>second wish: the power of Music Control

>third wish: the ability to summon any weapon ever conceived

Live the comfy life, have tunes everywhere, be safe, can go out for a bit of heroism. Perfect.

>that first one
>that third one
I know this feeling, brother.
Also, be careful what you wish for:
>>Can't make anyone fall in love with anyone else
You may be doomed to a loveless relationship. Or it might just be invalid as a wish altogether.

And then you die of cancer 1 year later.

Never ask about what a man wants to forget, user.

>But can't change their personality, user!
This is not an established rule. For lying to me in such a way, I wish you were mute.

Bargains with demons are binding, you've just gotta make sure that not just fucking killing you is part of the bargain.

>Wendy
>not interesting
Compared to what?

HSSSSS

I wish for your freedom. I don't need any wishes granted, but it looks like you could use one.

How would they even react to that?