Archie and Jughead fucking murder someone

youtu.be/8AMiwKhm3uI
"A subversive take on Archie, Betty, Veronica, and their friends, exploring the surrealism of small town life – the darkness and weirdness bubbling beneath Riverdale’s wholesome facade."

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Reggie had it coming. I see no crime here.

>A subversive take on Archie, Betty, Veronica, and their friends, exploring the surrealism of small town life – the darkness and weirdness bubbling beneath Riverdale’s wholesome facade
>No Sabrina
How about fuck you?

They plan to do her in the second half of the first season or the start of the second season as far as I've heard discussed.

I'm on board.

Watch, all the weird Pretty Little Liars murder vibe is because Sabrina was fucking around with magic

The actor playing Archie said Sabrina's appearing in the last episode of the first season.
denofgeek.com/us/tv/riverdale/257276/riverdale-introducing-sabrina-the-teenage-witch-confirmed

>SJW propaganda pushing bullshit

no thanks

All of Sup Forums is sjw propaganda, best just never leave Sup Forums so you don't get triggered.

Archie and Jughead are actually the only ones that couldn't have killed Jason Blossom.

January 26 is my birthday

>It's a wholesome family values are just a facade episode and everyone is a closeted homosexual or a psychopathic murder rapist.
When will this meme end?

>A subversive take on Archie, Betty, Veronica, and their friends,

Hasn't this been done numerous times already?

>Jughead ditched his trademark hat for a shitty beanie
FUCK
NO

It's less "family values" and more "secluded community", try to live in a small town and you'll see the meme is mostly real, although going full Twin Peaks is silly

It's the current year. Not even the lamest of lame-os would wear a felt crown.

>everyone is a closeted homosexual or a psychopathic murder rapist
>try to live in a small town and you'll see the meme is mostly real

wut? Just because people don't flaunt their quirks doesn't mean that there are more severe and numerous "quirks" to find. I'm really sick of seeing this in media.

Looks like they tried to compromise a bit

>murder vibe is Sabrina's fault
>in the season finale she tries to fix the spell but it backfires and just changes the flavor of edge, every season the show follows a different Sup Forums cliche, season 2 they all make and peddle crack, season 3 is all Game of Thrones style political intrigue and back stabbing, also incest, and so on.

>incest

Season 1 already has that.

what is going on with the redhead's finger?

>Season 4: Everyone is gay.

I like this.

Wasn't there an arc of Ed Brubaker's comic "Criminal" that was almost exactly this premise?

>A subversive take on Archie
>darker and edgier
Are we back in the 90s?

There sure was

The Last of the Innocent, right?

>Jughead
>Not eating the body

No user, this is supposed to be "REALISTIC"

If you motherfuckers kept up with Archie, you'd know that between Archie vs. Predator, Afterlife with Archie and even Life with Archie to a certain extent, every "alternate" take on the Riverdale gang is at least a little edgier than the designated comics for kids. And it's not like Archie is going to suddenly stop offering relatively "wholesome" comics as their main line, this is just something for the teens. If you don't like it, fine, but don't be all dramatic and shit.

I grew up in a small town and there was a secret sex club, which was more a sex cult, where pretty much all the older townsfolk was in it. I remember because i got super worried about my parents being a member of it, since most of their friends were.

And yeah, kids in small towns are little shits since there aren't much to do. I and my friends used to break and enter houses during holidays when most people were out on vacation. I even burned down a house once. It wasn't my fault, but it kinda happened.

Small towns are time bombs.

Yeah, that was it.

But in both Afterlife and AvP the characters still acted like classic Archie characters, which further pushed how absurd it was. The closest thing this is to is The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. It takes some familiar beats but the core of the story is much darker and different.

>"Well gee, Jughead ole pal, I don't want to rip out his testicles with this here pair of garden shears either. But how else can we be sure he won't jizz on your burgers anymore?"

Dark scene.

I need more detail on both of these things.

They are basically missing the beat as to why this could work.

>Core Archie characters being pushed against the glass that separates their light and dark worlds.

Instead we get

>Everyone is tainted edgy and “Real"

Which is trash.

>Look, Archie, you saw how perfect that cheeseburger was. The softest of buns, freshly sliced cheese, and a such a succulent patty. And he ruins it. Soiled that holy burger beyond recognition. I couldn't let him get away with that, Arch. You have to understand. Now, are you gonna help me hide the body?

We couldn't find out much about the sex club, since at the time we were all teens, so we only got to see things from afar. People meeting up on Fridays and Saturdays in the one that got big houses.
We had a friend who worked at the local kmart and he'd tell us how everyone would restock their condoms and KY before every weekend. You know, married people.
Oh, and there were robes. They'd come and go in their normal clothes, but we got to see them carrying them sometimes with them. It was some weird Eyes Wide Shut kinda thing.

The breaking and entering was just normal kid stuff. Get in, search around, watch tv, drink and eat their stuffs, have sex on their beds and such, rob their money and things, but not much. Just little things. It felt good. Like we owned the town and could do anything. I miss it a lot. I was happy back then.

Exactly. Archie+Twin Peaks could work but they need to act like Archie characters. Have Cheryl be Laura Palmer and a FBI agent comes to investigate. Riverdale could be this seemingly perfect little town untouched by time and the outside world. As the investigation goes deeper we see everything isn't actually perfect and go into magic bullshit with Sabrina. Maybe she was keeping the town in some kind of time bubble and when Cheryl left she began to rapidly age and die

and calling it now. cheryl blossom did it because incest.

This. When's the last time we had a legit Archie as a character in any show? Even as a jokey side character?

Instead they're literally going "How can we fuck up every character?" Let's have Archie and Jughead both be heartthrobs, not be friends, both fucking Ms. Grundy (who's a young sex bomb now,) and both possibly murderers. Let's have Betty and Veronica lez out in the first episode and then make them both bitchy and manipulative. Let's have that bitch Cheryl fuck her brother and probably get the boys to kill him because she's manipulative. Let's make Josie black and turn her into a bitch who manipulates Archie over music. Let's have Archie's parents split and his mom run off to find herself, only to come back because "HE NEEDS ME," despite being kind of a manipulative bitch. Let's have all the other parents be bitchy and manipulative toward their kids. Let's have literally every other character be bitchy and manipulative, and most of them are rich too for good measure.

Well, maybe it's less about fucking up Archie and more about CW just being fucked up in general, having shows where every single character is bitchy and manipulative. And probably gay too.

IN OUR TOWN

You seem really upset about this ancient property being adapted to a format that is clearly not meant for you.

But that's what they're doing, except Archie, Jughead, Betty, Veronica and Kevin Keller are playing the Dale Cooper role in investigating the weird murder.

You're projecting so much you might be a long-lost Lumiére sibling.

Everyone in Riverdale should be playing their roles. It should be investigated by people on the outside

why is this even an archie show? archie has lousy visibility to the public.

i liked mos and bvs but this just makes me sad.

Good grief they're trying to make #TeamVeronica and #TeamBetty happen.
It's Twilight all over again

How absolutely pissed is Mark Waid good big to be about this.

You think they are gonna put with his Jughead being Asexual bullshit?!

Archie was the original Twilight romance, senpai.

Plus we all know #TeamJosie is the patrician's choice.

Archie has always been Twilight.

It kind of looks like Scream except with some actually good cinematography.

>not #TeamJughead

Faggot.

You seem really willing to hang your tongues out for an old turd if it's wrapped in new paper.

How many burgz does Jug eat in the first episode? This will determine whether I bother watching.

>But in both Afterlife and AvP the characters still acted like classic Archie characters

This is patently untrue for Afterlife

>every new scene with Jughead starts with him taking the last bite out of a hamburger, or ends with him starting to eat one

People would just bitch about them turning it into a meme or whatever inane thing they can label it to make it a bad thing.

DUDE LESBIANS LMAO

Asexual Jughead isn't too far off-base really.

Allegedly he quit burgers, but then got addicted to coffee. Throughout the season he attempts to resist his lust for burgers.

>quit hamburgers
>resisting lust for burgz
shit/10

>if your first reply is baseless ad hominem...

You might be a neckbeard.

>Luke Perry is Archie's dad
>Molly Ringwald is Archie's mom
>Madchen Amick is Betty's mom
>Skeet Ulrich is Jughead's dad

I for one support the gag casting of 80's and 90's teen idols and nominate Fairuza Balk as one of Sabrina's aunts when she inevitably shows up.

Get Rob Lowe or James Van Der Beek as Weatherbee.

Get Michael J Fox to voice Salem.

Son of a bitch, even if I hate the first season I'll still tune in for season 2 just to see if they cold bring magic into this shit.

So I guess you could say it's Archie's Weird Mysteries?

>So now I'll turn his body into a hamburger just to show him what it means to be a burger

>Archie's dad was torn over Betty's mom and Veronica's mom back in their youth

>Betty's mom is an evil bitch

>Hermione's mom is a sexy cougar

>Betty's folks are some of the prime suspects of the murders

>Jughead's dad is a fucking criminal gang leader

I fucking love it.

Do we know the actress for Sabrina yet?

Is there even a way to play Archie straight at this point and still get people to care? I'm pretty sure Archie was the Garfield of it's time, and just as fucking vanilla back then too.

It's Jason that dies

Get Old Man Flash on the show and you have a deal

It seems the story is "Archie and Jughead have to become bros again in order to solve a murder mystery" which really gells with the current darker take the comics have been experimenting with. Granted it's still a CW show

Jugs only has sexual interest with food, if they make him get a gf or bf I will be angry. Jughead doesn't date!

That's fucking hilarious. I hope he starts eating burgers after he and Archie become besties, like the world starts reverting to the comics the closer they get to solving the murder.

>Not #TeamSabrina

Nothing better than a teenage witch.

>Sex with Miss Grundy
It's like the Ark of The Covenant!

Deeeh, stay out of Riverdale.

Nobody is saying it has to be played straight.
It's just that there are countless ways to do a better show than just taking the standard CW/ABC Family teen drama template and writing the names of Archie characters in the blank spots.

In Afterlife with Archie everyone is more or less a more realistic, your average teenage douchebags before they turn zombies. Riverdale takes a similar approach but with focus to be more around secrets and drama that tweens love.

Remember when everybody, and I do mean everybody, kept shitting on iZombie for months before it debuted because it was nothing like the comic, and then kept whining about it for the entire first season, only suddenly pulling a complete 180 and retroactively proclaiming the show to be the best thing on TV, just in time for season 2 to premiere?

Same thing is true, though to a smaller degree with Lucifer, which can't even be talked about in Sup Forums because mods keep deleting/moving it to Sup Forums.

My point is that judging the show based on "not muh X" is proven repeatedly to be just fanboys crying about not doing a 1:1 copy of the comics.

Cole Sprouse is back?

What part is SJW propaganda?

SJW basically just means everything he doesn't like.

Well, the guy in charge of Archie is behind this, so if Waid knows what's good for him he'll keep his mouth shut.

teenagers having sexual feelings and acting on them

>Same thing is true, though to a smaller degree with Lucifer, which can't even be talked about in Sup Forums because mods keep deleting/moving it to Sup Forums.
mods should be doing that with every adaptation thread tee bee aitch

But what about everything I don't like?

>Archie not wearing a sweatervest
fucking SJWs

Huh, I think I might be in for it. I was sort of hoping that the darkness and weirdness part they were talking isn't just a murder mystery, but some more paranormal/cthulu type shit, but maybe it will lead into that and they don't wanna spoil it.

I hope they do a good Veronica. I love bitchy character love interests.

>turns out the townspeople are cultists and they killed Jason
>season ends with Archie being violently and graphically sacrificed to Cthulhu

Does TV really need more teenage crime shows doing "social commentary" on the model town cliché?

It's not a real fucking thing and yet it's being treated like it is. How can you parody a concept that isn't even grounded in reality. It's 4th wall stupid.

Well maybe not quite that ending, but yeah sorta something like that.

Think an Archie, non CN chained down version of Scooby-Doo Mystery Incorporated. I mean not quite man in a mask all the time sort of thing, but sort of a weekly weird mystery or something.

Because people genuinely want to live in places like that. Why do you think Gilmore Girls was so popular? Stars Hollow is a place people dream about living, even if it's completely absurd and idyllic to a point of parody.

conservatives really wish it was and most creatives are liberal so really it's just another way of taking the piss

>While Sabrina watches, cradling her newborn Star Spawn

I hope like hell it's 35 year old Melissa Joan Hart.

I hope this gets cancelled

Yeah, I'm thinking he's back.

It won't be.