PRAISE KEK, TELL US THE HAPPENINGS

ITT: we praise kek and predict the next major happenings

September 14th. be prepared

Trump is going to lose in November and I'll be here, enjoying the tears.

Hillary dies in the upcoming weeks

d o u b l e d i g i t s

Elaborate

It will somehow involve Martin "Mr. Pill" Shkreli as a major player

it's about the badselfeater, right?

Hillary will collapse on stage. Kek wills it.

Rekt. Trump will triumph.

Metro bombing in a major EU capital

Hillary will slip on a frog and get another concussion, accelerating her vascular dementia.

...

Imminent destruction in 24 hours

Muslims
Doing
Muslim things
In
Churches

Hilldawg will be hospitalized and drop out of the race, and will blame Trump, the Alt. Right, and dank memes for all of it.

Angela Merkel gets shot.

Hillary dies tomorrow

The greatest shit post

Jews
Doing
Jewish
Things
In
Government

>Trump will triumph.
>Hillary dies tomorrow

Kek, MAKE IT SO

...

Checked

kek be praised

Massive muslim extermination in Europe

kek confirmed

FUUUUGGGGG I SHOULDNT HAVE MADE THIS THREAD, KEKS POWER IS REAL I NEVER UNDERSTOOD THIS BUT NOW I DO

I BELEIVE

Hillary Clinton will say she was poisoned

They replace Clinton but the next campaign can't get their shit together and Trump wins.

It's happening.....

>11
confirmed kill

I win big money off my bet on Trump :^)

You done it now

praise this

Rerolling this

Truck full of cheese crashes in downtown Detroit.

No please not the cheese lad

Soros and his ilk are done with Hillary. She will be replaced by Bernie.

>33+44=77
gurwa! :DD

Black driver screaming at people scooping and running off with the freebies "Dats notcho cheese! Dats Nacho cheese!"

Dubs isn't that powerful. Quads is something that should be taken with seriousness.

Well then let's go for quads

praise

Yeah but it was confirmed by multiple sets of dubs

Trump's victory has been decided

Shillary right now

Alright, you have a point. But Imo only max GETS can confirm Trump winning. Didn't Trump almost get one? Can't remember.

They just keep on coming

Hillary will have a seizure during the debates.

HOLYSHIT
O
L
Y
S
H
I
T

...and coming...

yes

dubs piling up is not a conincidence

33+44=77

Holy fuck man, it's real, meme magic is real!

Alright, Hillary dies and Trump will win

You're right. It's fate.

...

Sweden will finally get a happening if kek wills it.

I unironically believe in KEK and the power of MEME MAGIC.

>shut up autist

No.

We must understand first why humans create deities. Imagine you are a stone age nigger 20,000 years ago and you are just trying to live your life. You vaguely wonder about the sun and what it is and how it works. Nothing else is like it. Without it you will die. You have no way to know if it will come back in the morning. You can just hope it does.

Humans are not wired to feel like things are entirely out of our control, because most things in the world we can influence. Don't like king nigger of the dindu tribe? He can be assassinated with an assault spear. Most things can be influenced.

Now, our stone age nigger's mind has, through experience, developed the cognitive bias that everything can be influenced. So, the idea that the sun can be influenced is just assumed and not questioned.

Now, imagine our stone age nigger rapes a loli and then there is an eclipse the next day. Holy shit, raping toddlers makes the sun disappear! he spreads this information around, people stop raping niglets, and, lo, the sun appears as it should! Now we have a superstition. Oh no, years have passed and an eclipse has occured! Someone must have raped a loli! The tribe looks around and, naturally, finds a loli that was raped that day and kills the typical nigger who did it. Sun reappears as normal.

>Raping lolis makes the sun go away, human sacrifice brings it back.

This is now a religion. The sun chooses to disappear because of an action and can be coaxed back with another action. Eventually the sun is anthropomorphized because people are stupid and there we are.

>It is all so clear now.

So, Kek. Kek is the "god" of happenings. none of us here feel human emotion, so we love watching riots and wars and kebab explosions. It's interesting and important and hits all the right autistic buttons.

FUCK YOU LENGTH LIMIT

Requesting the chant to make Hillary shit herself

FUCK YOU LENGTH LIMIT

Happenings are black swan events - events that would have been difficult to specifically predict and have a huge impact. They are like the sun in that we have no influence over them. But, we have that same cognitive bias the ancient dindus did. We are primed to believe that we have an effect

Kek started as a joke. Some autist discovered there is an ancient Egyptian deity that resembles Pepe and is the god of chaos. Lulzy as fuck. So threads are created where people ironically worship Kek as the god of happenings.

Somebody gets multiple repeating digits and makes a guess that turns out to be correct or seemingly prophetic.

>repeating digits can change the future!

Everyone knows it is ridiculous, but cognitive bias is a bitch. At an unconscious level many people really believe the repeating digits matter.

So, not much difference between nigger tier cosmology and our Meme Magic.

Except for the effect. See, Meme Magic really does influence the world, but not by the mechanism early Kek prophets assumed. Offerings of digits do not please a real frog deity who grants favorable chaos. No, it is far more reasonable than that!

Remember the talk of cognitive bias? Works on normies better than we autists, and this has made Meme Magic unironically real. Take Hillary's Health. 99% of this board despises her so we enjoy LARPing as Kek worshipers and meme-ing her to death. Every cough or shuffle is fodder for a Praise Kek thread, which draws attention to these small moments of poor health - far, far more than if memes weren't fun and Keke wasn't so ridiculous and therefore enjoyable to pretend about.

So everyone in the Praise Kek thread goes to Normiebook, Twatter, Jewtube, and Leddit to spread the small story around with ample Kek praise and smug Pepes. This brings the small event that the mainstream would never, ever be aware of otherwise to international attention. Sup Forums autists -> Reddit neckbeards -> Mainstream media.

Hillary will die within the week.

FUCK YOU LENGTH LIMIT

Now, the worship of a god we all know does not exist has had the effect we've always desired - the ability to influence black swan events. Happenings, my dear sweet anons, are now ours to command. We have unironically created a god out of our collective autism and rare Pepes.

>hello where are proofs?

I propose a test. There is a mild meme out there that Glorious Donald has a small dick. This cannot stand. We can use the power of Kek to make "Donald Trump has a big dick" the prevailing narrative and "true." Since we'll likely never see it the prevailing narrative is what everyone will consider true and is as close to the truth as we can get.

It's all cognitive bias. Start posting pics of Donald Trump and point to folds or bulges in his pants and meme that is his enormous dick. Shoop a smug Pepe about where the head of his dick "clearly is in the picture." Make it fun here so it spreads to the normies and the media starts reporting on "internet speculation that Donald Trump is well-endowed."

This would be a minor black swan - everyone in America believing Dangerous Donald is packing heat will have some effect on the polls since people are attracted subconsciously to virility, and benis size is a good proxy for this.

None of you will participate in this because you are lazy autists, but think it through. Seems pretty clear it would work.

I await your questions and praise.

Kek Vult!

Also:

The ultimate ability of Meme Magic is to create these minor black swans through pure sophistry and creating a cognitive bias in the normies so when any tiny bit of concrete, undeniable fact seems to correlate with the bias it solidifies the idea as "fact." Again, Hillary's health. How many objectively untrue or dicey things did we meme for the lulz? Then whenever she coughs or stumbles - as 70 year old croked politicians do - all the falsehoods normies question become true in their mind. Whatever wild claims about her health they saw tweeted by Nazi frogs they now think are actually true.

There is no way Hillary's health is ATUALLY as bad as we memed it to be.

But she felt obligated to do more public appearances because of our meme-ing which stressed her and made her collapse on 9/11, destroying her candidacy and securing Trump's victory.

When they write the history of this election, lads, Meme Magic will have to be acknowledge as Trump's greatest ally.

Ask Jeb! about it.

There will be a civil war in America soon

We've already confirmed Hillary will be kill, and we all know that when people are kill they shit themselves.

Digits confirm that she will die in public and that there will be camera footage of her shitting herself.

HEIL KEK!

kek confirmed?

Guys I managed to summon kek into my garden yesterday

What wisdom did our lord bring you, chosen one?

so hillary or pharma guy on 14th? i wanna see these dubs in action

Our continuous memeing of Kek will soon collapse reality under meme magic

Not yet, we must Meme harder.

Reply to this post or kek will make your mommy die in her sleep

Repeating digits will confirm a happening tonight.

I said 'I like you, you're pretty cool' and he winked at me, no word of a lie.

I was considering putting him in a bowl and keeping him in my house while fattenin him up on remedies but I figured I might be fucking with shit beyond my control, so I just sat by as he waddled off into a bush. It was odd as there's not been frogs in my garden in years and I was definitely putting a lot of mind energy towards kek yesterday.

witnessed

also happening at hillary rally where she gets fatally wounded and her supporter get ran over by truck

...

Hillary is DEAD

1 off trips... Mebbe it was just a frog...

this

...

Praise QEK, fools!

Newfags, when will they learn?

Eternal September

KEK WILLS IT

Ask and you shall receive

OHSHIT

More nations leave the EU as mass immigration leads to more violence. Civil War erupts and Europa drives the invaders back to the middle east.

PRAISE
PRAISE
PRAISE
PRAISE
PRAISE

KEK, Hillary is dead

...

ww3 will happen soon

Hillary will vomit and then collapse at the debate while the shitstain on her skirt keeps growing larger for the world to watch

I bring a message from Kek himself.

Hillary will not die soon but will be quite ill.

Trump will win

and in 1 month and 6 days I cannot even begin to tell you what will happen.

Trump will lose

FALSE PROPHET

PRAISE KEK

Btfo

There is not enough QEK power in these repeating digits

Am I doing it right?

But there was in yours too

A small nuclear device will be detonated on European clay.

>Trump is going to lose in November and I'll be here, enjoying the tears.

even if he does what difference does it make?

isn't it obvious the people have taken control of the narrative and nothing but a flood of free cash will get them to shut up and go back to being servile?

yeah he's CIA (aka US Army Intelligence) front to back

Kaine will be the next president