Sea waifu

Would Sup Forums fuck a dolphin?

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jezebel.com/a-chat-with-malcolm-brenner-man-famous-for-having-sex-1685059436
twitter.com/AnonBabble

>Would Sup Forums fuck a

Yes! The answer is always yes! Why even waste time finishing the question?

>would a human [something]

The answer is always yes.

Would you, OP? Well?

>Would a dolphin fuck me without my consent
ftfy. And yes, they're pretty much the Arabs of the sea.

>you will never fuck a dolphin irl

why live

Would a human cut off his own dick, microwave it, and shove it up his own ass, while watching nu Powerpuff Girls?

Yup. Will a human waste their life on a Taiwanese basketweaving image board talking about how their opinions on their niche hobby are superior to everyone else's opinions?

>she will never jerk you off in the hot tub while other people sit unknowingly nearby

Silly user, dolphins fuck you
Just go to one of those dolphin experience, its bound to happen you sicko

>LET PUT SOME LEGS ON THIS DOLPHIN BITCH BUT SHE HAS FINS FOR FEET
Sounds counter intuitive

>The female dolphin can be either masturbated or fucked, depending on your gender. Roll the dolphin gently to her side, belly towards you, and prop yourself on an elbow to stay face-to-face with her.

>Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, they have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time.

More like sub-human.

If Diane wasn't a disgusting murderer would she have had puppies, and does "Asian" go across species, so could they have been chows?

>a disgusting murderer

Have you ever seen an actual child? Like, a real one, not an 2D loli. They're fucking hideous.

>Ugly = ok to kill
Check your ableism

I'm pretty sure that if you made it a life goal it's achievable.

>break into zoo and rape one
>become a zookeeper and seduce one
>get rich and buy one, keeping it alive in a shed-sized pool prison

Anyone else got some ideas?

I love kids, they're like little miracles.

Fuck off, autist. I'm not bringing a deformed human being into the world if I can help it. Might as well name it "Pity".

This was meant for you

How does a human impregnate a dolphin?

jezebel.com/a-chat-with-malcolm-brenner-man-famous-for-having-sex-1685059436

"It felt like I was making love with the ocean itself. It felt like, first of all, that I had forgiven myself—gotten over my hesitations about finally giving her what she wanted. When I had that realization, then it just seemed there was this energy surging between us, growing more intense, bringing us both to orgasm. Some scientists say that female animals don't have orgasms, but I know she did. She vocalized it."

my dick

my bunghole kek

I wonder what dolphin pussy feels like

With grit and determination.

Ask /sug/

If I had feet(?) like that that I'd kms

>Never had kids

>sea waifu thread

Naw nigga. That's just the tip of this iceberg.

Why is she so perfect?

Yes I would a dolphin

In real life?
No.
In internet fantasy land?
Still no.

Are you gay user? You sound gay

>Lewd ocean-dwelling mammals on my children's cartoon board

What the fuck is this thread...

Aquatic waifus are usually top tier

Exhibit A Exhibit BExhibit C >pic related

Dolphins have sex for pleasure and often present themselves to their human handlers in hopes of a good dicking

>often present themselves
>often

Gonna need sauce on that, boss

Not that one. She's got a kid. Too much baggage.

There was one dolphin raised by humans that had to be jacked off on a regular basis. Wasn't a sexual thing though, at least not for the humans.

Get dat fetus, kill dat fetus.

>not for the humans.

Sure thing...

...

She's fifteen.

I see why you would see girls who are older than you as icky

Who could ever love a sea creature?

No but this guy would.

Yes, but not that anthro garbage.

I wanna FUCK that WEEABOO SHARK

I would legitimately fuck a dolphin... as long as I knew nobody would ever find out I did it.

...

what is happening here

...

i am more horse than man, so i can, and i will

Yes

undertale
>kys

Stop trying to be an even lamer Barneyfag.

Yes. Not that dolphin though. That dolphin's got clap.

Buy a boat, get a net, capture a she-dolphin, get it on the boat, rape it.
5 easy steps.

Would you a The Cheat?

Do super duper sumos count as close enough? Because there are insane fuckers who have already done that.

I want to go skinny dipping with her

Whats the porpoise of this thread?

>It's a Borted

Gets me every time.

>a dolphin
Yes.
>that dolphin
No.

...

That's not a dolphin, that's just a woman in an elaborate outfit.

Undyne is my favorite non sexual fish lady.

How to fuck a dolphin
Dolphins: FAQ on Mating
(Note : Unfortunately, as of 2005, this popular site seems to be gone forever.)

Yes, I am perfectly aware there are many kinds of sex fetishes out there. There are people who are aroused by feet, shoes, and even shoelaces. But dolphins ? Anyway, if you want to have sex with a dolphin (and who doesn't ?), this is the guide for you. Please note in passing that the image to the right was called "yum.jpg" on the web site (for some reason, now called "fun.jpg").

Here is how to proceed :


1. Where to find a dolphin ?

Aquariums and zooz are out of the question : too many witnesses. You are instead advised to try to find a beach where dolphins live. You also need luck :

Sometimes you just need to be in the right place at the right time. I have been extremely lucky on two occasions with wild dolphins, and my current mate is a dolphin who lives in the harbor of my resident city.

And if the Coast Guard comes by, you're on your own.

2. Pre-sex assessment of the situation

First, you need to figure out 1. the gender of the dolphin and 2. figure out if the dolphin is aroused.

To do the first, you need to look at their head (males have a fatter, rounder head), or on the dolphin's belly, between opposite the dorsal fin and the tail. The male has two larger slits, and the female has one large slit and two small mammary slits.

Figuring out whenever your prospective mate is aroused is also relatively straightforward. The male will sport a long erection that would make most men jealous ("anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose", we are advised). The dolphin's penis is also prehensile and flexible, and you can wrap it around your arm. It is not mentioned if the dolphin likes to have his penis wrapped around some dink's arm. On the other hand, the female's genitals will become pink and swollen, and she may nuzzle against you.

Also, I still can't believe I am writing about having sex with dolphins. This is what being an Insolitologist is all about, folks.

Q3) What do I do if a dolphin wants to mate with me?

A3) Accept, if possible!

3. Having sex

A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length.

Due to the size of a dolphin's member, the best you can do with a male dolphin is to masturbate him. Missionary position or anal sex are both out of the question. Also, be careful : when those things shoot, they shoot. Remember what your mom told you about trains and get out of the way.

The female dolphin can be either masturbated or fucked, depending on your gender. Roll the dolphin gently to her side, belly towards you, and prop yourself on an elbow to stay face-to-face with her. At this point, my brain is already beginning to rebel against what I'm reading, so I'll let the author do the explaining for me :

Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, they have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time.

One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a fin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you.

In conclusion, good luck, and if you have a baby with a dolphin, don't forget to tell someone other than the National Enquirer.

You're only here because you've been chased off Sup Forums.

Trying to evangelize anything to people who aren't interested will only piss them off. It's not Sup Forums. It's not even related to Sup Forums. Get that shit out of here.

>Silly user, dolphins fuck you
This.

She could have either labradors or asian humans I think. Maybe dogs would have different fur color than Mr Peanutbutter

>Would Sup Forums fuck..

Sup Forums would fuck anything that moves. I'm even sure Sup Forums would fuck something that didn't move till it does.

what is this and why do i want to stick my dik in her?

user, you´re gay.

More Sup Forums than Sup Forums but I WANNA INK THEM SO BAD.

Yes but not vapid whore
I only partake in the purest of dolphin waifus

of course

How the fuck does the bojack verse even work in that regard?
That one deer lady Bojack knew had a human kid as well as a deer kid and Diane got pregnant from mr peanutbutter so is it just random chance what species the kid is?
Can they be a mix of both parents species?

It seems to be just one or the other. Never a mix.

O
R
C
A

>evangelize
you're thinking of Sup Forums

>scarred titty blubber

unf

She's a big girl.

Fucking newfag

Kneeling on a block of ice sounds painful.

Bateson and Lowatt. It was an experiment done back in the 60's where they tried to raise dolphins in close proximity to humans. Basically, they took a half sunken house and had the people living in it regularly interact with the dolphins.

Oh, and the people and dolphins took LSD together.

The bonds got really strong. To the point where the dolphins were constantly following one of the female researchers around and poking her crotch with their noses, presenting their own genitalia, and trying to have sex with her.

There's also that shaved Orangutan some researchers found kept in a brothel in SE Asia. It had been fucked so much that even after they rescued her, she would still repeatedly bend over and present herself to men and masturbate while hooting at them.

And there are... videos of horses.

They also rape and steal shit sea googles

>There's also that shaved Orangutan some researchers found kept in a brothel in SE Asia. It had been fucked so much that even after they rescued her, she would still repeatedly bend over and present herself to men and masturbate while hooting at them.
>And there are... videos of horses.

I'm not sure I needed to know that

Came here to post this.

Why did she decide to keep it though?

Don't even want to think of the kind of people desperate enough to fuck a shaved orangutan.

Shaved Orangutan really sounds like a your mom joke.

Asians

More of a shark person

>tfw no dolphin wife

Marie is the best sister, Callie can fuck off

>don't play Splatoon
>don't own a weeyoo
>don't know which is which
>still bought those amiibos

This is absolutely true but it hurts that Callie was on the right side of the Splatfests most of the time.