ITT: Every stupid post about "fixing comics"

Hey guys, I don't read, buy, or know anything about comics but here's how comics should be marketed. All companies are stupid if they don't do what I say.

First of all, remember that when I say comic books, I mean Marvel and to a lesser extent DC, since those are the only two companies I've ever heard of. And don't forget that the only comics in existence are supethero comics!

First, comic books are for children, despite the fact that they haven't been marketed to kids since before I was born. Therefore we should forget about the audiences we've targeted for the last few decades and instead focus exclusively on the fickle and unpredictable children's market. This is an especially good idea since children are well known for their propensity for reading, and their ability to consistently purchase weekly or monthly books.

Because Comic Books are pictures and not real people like Game of Thrones, they are inherently dumb and for babies. Comics as a medium are incapable of anything other than being toy tie-ins.

Here, I'd normally link to a quote from Alan Moore (the President of Comic Books,) but I'll save you from that for now.

Secondly, we need to get rid of all the characters that currently exist. Though I've never read a comic, I know that the history of these characters is way too hard to follow, so we should just get rid of them. New characters are always popular, and everyone knows that Spider-man and Batman are characters that nobody cares about past their initial few stories.

It is especially important that we kill off characters because any stories that aren't written by the original creator are terrible. Bob Kane's Batman stories are still read today, while everything else is cringey, autistic, and other Reddit memes.

Finally, comic books are too expensive. Since I don't buy them, they are worthless to me, and trust me- I think I know the value of things I don't like. Comic books should cost no more than a nickel, price of labor be damned.

Good post

Comic books are worthless and the people making them are more worthless, so paying them for their labour just doesn't make sense. To drop costs even further, we should stop printing comics in color and start printing them on newsprint. As you know, American audiences are extremely receptive to things that are black and white, as we can see from the popularity of black and white films even today.

>Comic books should cost no more than a nickel, price of labor be damned.
Hmmmmmmmmm...

Read most of this in Garrison's voice.

>It is especially important that we kill off characters because any stories that aren't written by the original creator are terrible. Bob Kane's Batman stories are still read today, while everything else is cringey, autistic, and other Reddit memes.
basically this
I would love for western comics to do more an eastern comic route of "single universe for a single series"

>First of all, remember that when I say comic books, I mean Marvel and to a lesser extent DC, since those are the only two companies I've ever heard of. And don't forget that the only comics in existence are supethero comics!

Yes and? Those are western comics and those are the ones I am talking about just like OP. I absolutely despise trying to read a run of a popular superhero because they're always in a dumb event that bridges between series or has some clickbait opening page.

Lesser known cape comics tend to be better because it's contained and no one cares about them enough to push them into something.

The OP went over your head. Try reading it again. Or try reading more non-Marvel/DC comics.

I mostly read image.

>I would love for western comics to do more an eastern comic route of "single universe for a single series"
I don't believe you.

Literally proving OP right.

You're literally the exact kind of person OP was describing.

He means he watches Walking Dead.

Liar

You forgot the big one

Obviously people not willing to buy 1 floppy of one character would be willing to buy 5 of them stapled together as an anthology magazine. Oh and we can keep the costs down on that to because we know magic.

Or the old chestnut of

We should put comics where Magazines are sold because those do AMAZING numbers.

Or the we should sell them at movie theaters because that is what people want to do after spending two hours with a character is spend more money on something completely not related to it

You forgot to mention that comic companies should completely abandon their most popular characters in favor of [insert minutely successful character that I personally like here] because that's what the *real* fans want. Anyone who doesn't share my exact tastes isn't a *real* fan.

>Or the we should sell them at movie theaters because that is what people want to do after spending two hours with a character is spend more money on something completely not related to it


I remember when I went to see the TFA premier, there was a huge stand filled with Star Wars comics and shit; everyone completely ignored those and went straight for the Pop! figurines and T-shirts.

It still amazes me that when certain people here say "comics" or "the industry" they actually mean a few sepecific Marvel and DC runs

OP is spot on

Now this guy has some ideas I can get behind!

Batman should use guns and kill the Joker.

I've noticed that all the complaints are almost always Marvel specific (constant events, SJW pandering, etc.)

The nasty truth is that most of the people who fall out of comics were burned by Marvel, and it left a bad impression. Everyone I've ever talked to who hates comics and claims to have once read them always says that they used to read Spider-man and X-men, but quit. I've never met anyone who claims they used to read Batman and got burned, though.

>bait

maybe if you were talking about capes only but the whole medium? you crazy.

You forgot Digital memes.

...are you retarded?

>I don't read, buy, or know anything about comics but here's how comics should be marketed.

You fucking fanboy idiot the best solutions always come from an outside source who isn't some delusional cum sucking fanboy fuckwad like you you underaged south park posting shit I sincerely hope fucking die you fucking fuck fucker fucking fuck fuck FUCK!

>the best solutions come from people who are uneducated like me

You're fucking retarded YOU RETARDED FUCKING RETARDED RETARD FUCK FACE FUCKING FUCKER DON'T FUCK WITH ME RETARD I'LL FUCK YOU UP LIKE THE RETARD YOU FUCKING ARE YOU FUCKING FUCKER

And yet there are people who want the MCU to recast all the characters...

Why doesn't your just read European comics?

...

...

Ok then, so how DO we fix comics?

Only buy creator-owned comics. Vote with your wallet that the industry needs to change.

>PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>Ironic references
>Game of Thrones
>Bob Kane
>Clear references to normie and hipster posting all in once
>Literally starts with "I don't read"

And most than half of Sup Forums still fails for this kind of bait, this board is more stupid than /ck/ and /vp/ together

Maybe comics and cartoons really rotten your brain

>OP
>not a manchild comic book fanboy who can't take criticism

pick one and only one

Nah, i prefer just pirate the thousands of good stories and books that have been already written

Artist of all eras are all terrible people and this profession have no space in a functional society

The OP isn't trying to trick anyone. It's blatantly obvious as a humorous post. Sup Forums really is in a sad, sorry state where every time someone makes a joke it's called out as "bait" or a "troll".

You'd be surprised (or not) how retarded a huge portion of Sup Forums is.