greetins trahvelah, oim folconhuf an oil be ur gaid on your quest

> greetins trahvelah, oim folconhuf an oil be ur gaid on your quest
You're in a dungeon cell, to your north past the bars is a sleeping guard, to your south is your bed and to your east is a urinal. What would you like to do?

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>kill jester

JUMP THE CHASM

KILL JESTER

take piss

>trahvelah, theo is nae jesta
To the north is the guard, to your south is your bed and to the east is your urinal. What would you like to do?

find the fucking jester
then kill her
proceed to shit on the guard and fuck the urinal

youtube.com/watch?v=e01J3Hz9yoo

Yar burunt tew a cinder

>well worth it
>get rid o'er, she's shite

pick up hermes boots

>ye dinna fin a, ye proceed tha defecait ontha gaard, he still snorin about, fokin the urnal gets ye herpes
To your north is a guard covered in shit, to your south is your bed and to your east is a urinal with a hole in it. What would you like to do?

THAT'S PETTEH

>tha show toor tha harr oota this cammuniteh

>dunna worry trahvelah, yer keen senses spot a key on tha gaard
To your north is a sleeping guard with a key, to your south is a bed and to your east is a urinal. What would you like to do?

A dildo up Thatcher's dead arse

Give guard herpes by fucking in the arse

>trahvelah, weer train to stey aloiv hear, lets go fer the key?
The big shiny key is at a grabbing distance, what would you like to do?

What key?

>for fu- for curiositehs sake, trahvelah theers a key on tha gaard, covrd in shait and hees sleepin
What would you like to do?

turn to the West then burst into a sprint

But traveler, Jingle is your friend!

lodge the key in has ass

>u canna go east trahvelah, its a dead end.
There are paths to your north, south and east.
>ye lodge tha key in has arse, he weks up.
The angry guard opens the cell door, to your side there's a stool, to your other side there's a apple.

Wrong pic

take a bite of the stool, assault him with the apple

K
I
L
L

J
E
S
T
E
R

>okayh.. ye bite tha stool, it breeks ye teeth-- trahvlah, lissna ere.. the gaard is about to kill ye, ye story isboot tha end.. we shuda try to reason wih him, ye?
The apple bounces off his armor, he raises his sword to swing at you.

Proclaim you are the ancient wizard of Persia, and persuade him to set you free. Offer to fulfill 1 wish of his in exchange for letting me go.
If he won't heed, make a frightening toothless bleeding grimace and throw the stool at his head, then duck inbetween his legs yanking the key out of his butt and closing the door. Attempt to quickly insert the key and lock the door.

Muffit of tea?

>ye put ye silvatong inta use and don ye raggedy hat tha sell the act. oh! tha gaard is tremblin wih feer.. his one wesh is tha join ye on tha quest.
The cell door is open and the guard wants to join you on your quest, what would you like to do?

Open sarcophagus.

watah

Get emerald

....get troll

Well first we need some coins. Inquire about his helmet. If I take it off, would he die?

's spelld wa'ah, friend

>avin defcated onto him, tha gaard says it wud be peenful to teek it off for tha smeel.. he isna givin it to ye.
The smelly guard is waiting outside the cell, what would you like to do?

YOU MAKE A PITIFUL LEAP

Get a fucking move on I aint got all day and this call is costing me money. Find the nearest way out.

JUMP THE CHASM

NAW

I'd love to participate in your adventure, but I have a perishing thirst. Perhaps I'd better crack open a delicious Barry's Red Cola.

smell his pits

>it wud be peenful to teek it off
call him a big guy

youtube.com/watch?v=VGe7NKBQBos