ITT: Jokes You Need Explained

ITT: Jokes You Need Explained

>"Say Lemon, do you like to read? I just got a great book on tape. It's about life in ancient Greece and..."

I know it's cliche, but... what did he mean by this?

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The ancient greeks viewed homosexual relationships as superior to heterosexual relationships.

Yes, really.

Gay joke.

The notion of homosexuality and heterosexuality is a modern invention and most cultures in the past had lots of gay sex, it was extremely commonplace in ancient greece in particular. Soldiers fucked each other before battle, young boys and teenagers often sucked off their teachers/mentors and then were sucked off by young boys when they were adults etc.

Brannigan was trying to reconcile his feelings for leela, who he thought was a man, and read about ancient greece and that made him think it was 'ok' for him to like lemon

...

Billy, do you like gladiator films?

Same deal.

This is why I always felt sexuality was more nurture than nature. Are we to believe Greece just had a biological anomaly in a concentrated abundance of the gay gene?

Hey.

Cut it out.

BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN

It means having a wife would mean having someone that wouldn't make him meat for dinner as much because a good diet needs variety.

The joke is in how ludicrous the scenario is. Cosgrove, a grown man, somehow thinks getting married means he can't eat meat.

Sexuality is influenced by nature and nurture, it's just no consciously manipulatable. You can't make someone gay with any kind of reliability, just like you can't make someone straight

Modern culture that is very restrictive and shaming of homosexuality means that more people who would indulge in that kind of activity end up not doing so or do so in private, creating the illusion that they're an extreme minority.

Another distinction that needs to be made is that just because homosexual activity was more commonplace in the past, that doesn't mean homosexuality itself was more common. Boys would suck off their mentors because they were expected to, that doesn't mean they always enjoyed it. Even the older men who would do things with younger boys wren't always actual homosexuals, it could be an act of respect, pure pleasure, anything. Animals mount the same sex to show dominance, other animals present themselves sexually to the same sex to show submissiveness

A non sequitur (English pronunciation: /ˌnɒnˈsɛkwᵻtər/; Classical Latin: [noːn ˈsɛkᶣJtʊr] "it does not follow") is a conversational and literary device, often used for comedic purposes. It is something said that, because of its apparent lack of meaning relative to what preceded it,[1] seems absurd to the point of being humorous or confusing.

That boy needs therapy

What was the book?

>modern invention
only if you consider biblical times as modern
the reason abrahamic religions are against homosexuality is because it was a cultural rebellion against their roman masters. they viewed homosexuality as pointless since it didn't serve procreation, just mindless sex for the sake of sex.

I guess I shouldn't have used the term modern, I was speaking on a global scale in terms of the entire history of civilization.

Also there was no toilet paper or penicillin

Less time has passed between the fall of the roman empire and right now than passed between the Completion of the Great Pyramid of Giza and the birth of Alexander the Great

"SOME PIG"

What the fuck does it mean? Is it short for "This is some pig" (i.e. this is an impressive pig)?

I'm gonna kill you.

Yes.

Oh.

I wish they were a little clearer on that.

>the reason abrahamic religions are against homosexuality is because it was a cultural rebellion against their roman masters.

>Torah/old testament compiled around 600 BC
>Rome didn't extend influence over the region until around 60 BC
>hellenic period didn't even begin until about 300 BC

Try again

leviticus denounces homosexuality and is hte first abrahamic holy text to do so
the passage in the christian bible that denounces homosexuality is literally called "letter to the romans" and criticizes them for performing homosexual acts. written during jesus's time and addressed to the roman master's of the jews

Leviticus was written to the priest clan of the Hebrew nation.
Paul's letter to the Romans was written by a man who NEVER MET JESUS.

Is English not your first language? If not, that confusion makes sense. If you are a native English speaker, then how in the fuck did this confuse you?

I never said it was written by jesus just that it was written during jesus's time aka when judea was ruled by rome

No one ever met jesus.

Almost a century after Jesus. That was not Jesus's time. That's like saying we live in the time of George Washington because America still exists.

>Almost a century
its dated to be around year 55 and jesus is estimated to have died somewhere between year 30 and 36
that is not almost a century by any means

Huh. I've "known" for years that those were written around 120-130. Now I've looked up the dating and you're right. I have no fucking idea why I was so convinced of those dates.

Fair enough, you're right. 20 years counts.

Physically impossible.

Just ignore him. He's an edgy atheist.

And I say that as an atheist.

Jesus was definitely a real person. The controversy and debate comes from whether he was a Messiah or not.

There's nothing in those texts about homosexuality as an identity. There are only prohibitions (weak ones) against certain sex acts, which we now consider concomitant with certain identities.

>leviticus denounces homosexuality
It denounces sex acts, not identities. Sexual identity as we know it was an invention of the Victorian world.

Imagine browsing Sup Forums in Roman times
>tfw no qt girlfriend
>where's the dick
>fucking straight fags

If it wasn't for my horse I would have finished college.

Why does Sup Forums know so much about biblical history?

Not much would have changed.

We're not fucking retarded. We know how to use the internet to educate ourselves.

Some of us.

...

If men were encouraged from birth to fuck other men over women, you would be damned sure that people would fuck right off with this feminism bullshit.

Not all feminism, just the bullshit kind, and at the very least female privilege would take a major hit.

... It's Louis Black you philistine.
youtu.be/sJ0s0KUUpxo

The Greeks might have had a point. I'm incredibly envious of my faggot friends. It sounds liberating. Fuck bitches, and all that.

See, what I take away from this is it's pretty crazy to witness Zapp is genuinly attracted to Leela for who she is and what she does, not because she's a woman.

...

If only we could suppress all of our natural urges, the world would be a great place.

...

And then, due to the awful treatment of women and the prevailing notion of homosexuality as superior to heterosexuality, the human race would die out.

Goddamn, you hate women so much that you would rather take out the entire human race than dare to co-exist with women.

Are you Donald Trump?

they would still hook up with women and have children, but it was seen that women were inferior and that basically
1. one should want to be good (virtuous and smart)
2. one should want to spread that good
3. you gain "immortality" from teaching your student

they just saw it as the best system.

But user don't you know Trump has literally stated "I believe all gay people must die and once I am elected president I will do everything in my power to personally kill them all"? Why would he be promoting being gay?

even though this thread is now gay as fuck, I'd also like to point out how Zapp asks if she likes to read, and then proceeds to talk about a book on tape

...

Isn't Leviticus just a guide for Jew preist and people trying to be pure even though they can never be pure?

Jesus sacrifice renders those sacrifices moot right??

We don't need to burn grain or live goat....

Obviously the joke is that he's too lazy to read.

>The ancient greeks viewed homosexual relationships as superior to heterosexual relationships.

No they didn't. Fucking another guy was essentially laying claim to him, dominating him socially and, in the case of slaves, financially. Greeks didn't define sexuality in terms of straight or not, but rather what role the participants took in sexual activity. Pitcher = man, catcher = woman.

If you were a man and you caught, you were literally "made a woman." It's why pederasty was so popular, because it was seen as educational, and it spared the young boys from being made "women" before they had any social status to lose.

It was still vitally important for men in Greek society to produce children.

>due to the awful treatment of women and the prevailing notion of homosexuality as superior to heterosexuality

You mean like ancient Greece?

Naw, sexuality is absolutely nature, it's just that once you remove the suppression of deviant sexuality you don't get an increase of it, you just get an honest presentation of it and it's much more common than recent society would have us believe.

Actually, it's treating women equally and giving them too much power that's leading to humans dying out.

At least western humans. Muslims are destined to take over because they know better than to do that.

He ate all his wives to be.

>Jesus sacrifice renders those sacrifices moot right??
Not for Jews.

As I recall, sex between citizens (adult-aged men) wasn't particularly common (possibly for the reasons you've mentioned). Citizens had sex with slaves and boys, and sleeping with the wife of another citizen was forbidden.