Spider-man (1967) Kilowatt Kaper

Hello you. It's time once again for a Spider-man. Tonight's episode is an Electro one in which he breaks out of an incredibly low security prison and tries to make a lot of money as a power company.

It was a dark and stormy night at the prison you know the one... THE prison

Spider-man: If Electro is exposed to the storm then no prison will be able to hold him!

Warden: Ain't you a wanted man?

Spider-man: Yeah... lots of people want me and can't get enough.

But you raise a valid point. We'll move him someplace else I guess it's not like we've been able to keep someone from escaping before it they want it bad enough.

It's taken me months to build this kite! I've had to start over so many times! It's a lot harder than it looks but finally it is complete!

Everything's coming together! Once the storm hits its peak I'll be free!

Good to see you back. Did you ever find a voice actor you were looking for?

And the first thing I'll do after I'm out of here is to call my mom and the second thing I'll do is KILL SPIDER-MAN FOR PUTTING ME HERE

Yeah I did. Now I have to get off my lazy butt and make use of the recording he gave me for my odd musical request.

C'mon lighting storm! Don't hold out on me all I need is one bolt!

Spider-man: No! We're too late! He'll regenerate his powers from the storm!

Warden: How'd he fit that kite through those bars?

zzzap

WHOA

LIKE THE SUPERVILLAIN OF OLD BEN FRANKLIN I HAVE STOLEN THE POWER OF THE STORM AND INVENTED ELECTRICITY

Electro: How fortuitous of Spider-man to show up to die! Now I have something to talk about when I call mother!

Lookathat. There's a hole in the wall. Was that there before?

Welp! That's the end of my career! Hey, do you think he'll be upset when he finds out you're still alive?

Why? You think he doesn't like me? How is that possible?

Batman isn't the only one who can look cool standing atop a building with lightning behind him!

And now with Spider-man out of the way there is nothing stopping me from becoming the most powerful villain in the village of New York City!

Electro has escaped and no pictures! Why am I yelling at an empty room when I have a secretary to yell at!

Jameson: MISS BRAAAAAAAAAAAANT

Betty: You bellowed Mr. Jameson?

Jameson: WHEN PARKER COMES IN TELL HIM HE'S FIRED

Betty: You can't fire him! He's a plucky young freelance photographer!

Betty: Can't you just... stop buying his pictures?

Jameson: DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO. PUT PARKER ON PAYROLL, THROW HIM AN OFFICE PARTY AND I'LL SHOW UP AND FIRE HIM

Betty: Yes Mister Jameson

Jameson: Ms. Brant?

Betty: WHAT

Jameson: I forgot what I was talking about. Where's Parker? I need pictures of Electro.

He said he's busy mixing some sort of chemical formula and won't be available, sir.

WHAT? HE'D RATHER COOK METH THAN COME IN TO WORK? THAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH TEENAGERS THESE DAYS! TELL PARKER HE'S FIRED!

Ugh! What does he want from meeeeeeeeeee

The New York town will have to live in darkness until I get all the power I need!

Is that a tiny power plant or did I get bigger from prison?

zzzap

THE MACHINE IS OVERLOADING TO 'BAD' IT'LL EXPLODE

WHY IS THE EMERGENCY OVERRIDE CONDUCTIVE AHHHHHHHHHHHH

fwooooosh

All the electricity! All the electricity for me! Then the whole municipality shall know the power of Electro!

Maybe If I can mix up some rubber web formula I'll finally be ready to take on Electro

Peter: Moshi Moshi

Betty: Peter! Mr. Jameson wants you over here now! Electro is blacking out the city! You've got to take pictures of that somehow!

*Click*

Boring conversation anyways

Damn! Electro has to be stopped now and chemistry too slow!

Jameson: LET ME HAVE THAT CANDLE

Betty: No Mr. Jameson! Electro's cut off the power! It's over woman for herself! If you want it you'll have to fight me and my Hisho No Ken!

FORGET IT! Electro hates Spider-man? Well who doesn't?! Why'd he have to take it out on me?!

Jameson: YEOWWWWW

Betty: OH MY GOD MR. JAMESON JUST GOT EATEN BY A GRUE! Who's fault could it be? Not a torch or a match in his inventory

>Ok Spider-man you can do it, everyone's count for you. Aunt May has an ice cold pepsi waiting for back home and if you fail here it'll be room temperature by the time you return.

WHEN ELECTRO IS DONE HERE ELECTRO WILL BE THE MOST POWERFUL VILLAIN IN THE WORLD

This is bad! I don't have any special web formula and he's already talking about himself in the third person! Spidey hates that!

Electro: HEY YOU! GET DOWN FROM THERE! YOU'RE GETTING THE WALLS DIRTY

You won't stand a chance once Electro is done recharging himself!

Eh, Don't overcharge yourself, glitterpuss!

Spider-man: Shit. That's not supposed to happen

Your webbing is useless against me now!

You wouldn't happen to have a bottle of water handy, do you?

Yeah, for you! I charge 10 bucks a sip! Ahahaha!

...

Ow ya got me!

HOTHOTHOTHOTHOT

NOW TO KICK THINGS UP A NOTCH

Eeep

I fancy an ass massage as much as the next guy but this is a little much... turbines... sucking me in..spinning so fast... creating a vacuum

how the fuck did spiderman fall in there

Only one chance... have to turn off ... everything

*thwip*
*thwip*

BLAST MY NERVOUS AIM

*crrrrk wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*

*BOOM*

It just blew up from hitting it with webs? Whew. Thank goodness nothing in this building is up to code.

And thank goodness Electro is too impatient and arrogant to check if I'm dead!

I should probably work on that webbing before I try this again. TO HOME! MY WARM SODA AWAITS!

HELLO? HELLO?! IS ANYONE THERE? PHONE, CONNECT ME TO SOMEONE THIS INSTANT OR YOU'LL NEVER WORK IN THIS TOWN AGAIN!

Jameson: HELLO!

Electro: Hai

Jameson: WHO IS THIS?

Electro: It is I, Electro! Master of all electrical power!

Jameson: WELL I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE THE WIZARD OF OZ. I'M GOING TO CLICK MY HEELS THREE TIMES AND MY POWER BETTER BE BACK ON!

Hey is your refrigerator running? No? Because I cut your power AHAHAHAHAHA! I'll turn everything back on once you and the city pay me! AHAHA!

PAY YOU? I'M NOT PAYING YOU A CENT YOU... YOU... PIRATE!

This is a hilarious idea OP, I salute your efforts in silliness

What did you just call me you clabberdungeon salthorse licking bilgerat, scurvy brigand curr reprobate lolligagger doecock barnacle-backed oil-headed dead-eye bolegged excuse for a landbound claptrap!

YEOWWWWWWWWWW

You heard me

Finally! I'm ready for Electro! He'll never escape me now!

Thanks

EXTRA EXTRA NEWSIE WRITES FIRST NEWSPAPER HEADLINE

READ ALL ABOUT! CITY PUSSIES OUT AND IMMEDIATELY CAVES LIKE THE SPINELESS COWARDS THEY ARE EXTRA EXTRA

AHHHH! This little light of mine! I'm going to let it shine!

Every light out there is a fortune for the Electro Power company and with Spider-man a mangled corpse there's no one left to stop me! Not Iron Man, Captain America, The Punisher, Daredevil, Fantastic Four! No one!

Time to set a trap and Times Square is just the place to do it!

West and East side, I'll come back for you later, for now Times Square is the one who gets it.

Jameson speaking, who's this? You'll have to enunciate it sounds like you're talking through cloth or something

*Ahem* I said! This is Spider-man! And if you want to see the fireworks of the century! Meet me at Time's Square!

SPIDER-MAN! WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING ON DOING TO TIMES SQUARE WITH PYROTECHNICS AND EXPLOSIVES! ANSWER ME! HE HUNG UP! RUDE!

Oh I'll meet him there alright. I'll meet him there WITH MY FISTS

Electro's sure to see the blackout soon! Time to decorate!

This is my favorite part! Martha Stewart eat your heart out.

Beautiful! A burg full of lights! Everything the light touches is my income!

Electro: WHAT IS THAT. TIMES SQUARE HAS NO POWER? I BETTER FIX THIS FAST BEFORE SOMEONE LEAVES A BAD YELP REVIEW AND COMPLAINS TO THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU

EVERYTHING WAS GOING PERFECT AND NOW SOMETHING'S WRONG

Am I overdoing it? Naaaaaaaah

Jameson: THERE HE IS! UP THERE! I TOLD YOU HE'S UP TO NO GOOD.

JJ showed! Perfect!

SPIDER-MAN, THIS IS THE POLICE, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE PLANNED BUT WE'LL OPEN FIRE AT THE SLIGHTEST PROVOCATION

HOLD YOUR FIRE OFFICERS, THE SHOW IS ABOUT TO BEGIN. HEH. HEH. HEH.

jesus christ he's huge

This is fucking golden OP, 10/10 idea, I'm thoroughly enjoying it and would love to see more of this kind of stuff

Police: It's Electro! Can I have your autograph?!

Electro: Autographs and official Electro merchandise will be sold after this show has ended.

I KNOW THEY WERE OPEN FIRE! SHOOT! SHOOT AS IF YOU WERE THE LAPD

Calm down Mr. Jameson, breathe in and out , speak in complete and coherent sentences. We can't shoot now! We might hit Electro!

Spider-man: Electro! This is it! I'm going to put your name in lights!

Electro: YOU! YOU HAVE MORE LIVES THAN 9 CATS! 81 LIVES BY MY GUESSTIMATE!

But this isn't Times Square. This is an operating table and I'm the veterinarian!

Electro: HOLD STILL DAMN YOU

Have to make sure all these bulbs are fully screwed in or this won't work!