Episode VII

Now that the dust has settled and Star Wars mania is over for the time being, can we finally stop deifying this movie and give it a fair objective review?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=xpecPKuUYnE
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

Only retards and redditors thought it was good.

isn't a new one just about to come out?

is this an in joke i desperately missed

Have you noticed it being hyped even half as much as episode VII? I haven't.

A complete failure of a movie that fails to bring anything new and substantial to the SW universe to make it worthwhile.

It is the product of extremely cynical and cold filmmaking where nostalgia bait and SJW pandering is more important than writing a new engaging story for old fans and new. It is in fact so bad that you can safely disregard it completely and not miss a single thing. Its contributions are so nonexistant that it might not have existed to begin with. Its new characters can only be appreciated if you're the type of person that counts race and sex as important. They have no other value than being just that.

The only character of note is Kylo Ren - because he's the only one aware that he's just a bad copy of a greater character.

WIR MUSSEN DIE EWOKS AUSROTTTN!

I enjoyed it. I'm a sucker for spiritual themes and the move sold itself for me when the small yoda-like character was introduced. That's what I liked in Empire Strikes Back, to be honest I don't think Star Wars is that good. but those kind of themes elevate a movie for me. and the force is a kind of a concept like that, and I like science-fantasy themed things.

Babylon 5 had actual techno-mages, that show was the shit.

That's my opinion on the new "Star Wars."

JA! NUR PORG! PORG UBER ALLES!

it was tiresome because it lacked originality

and... oh shi-- another death star? well I gotta be going... gotta blow up another doomsday machine hidden away by the space fascists

>last jedi alive is a human
explain this cumftp

This on so many levels.

your doing it wrong... if you want to stop the porgalypse you have to team up Sup Forums and make porg the official symbol of the alt-right

meming on Sup Forums wont do it alone

it's THE LAST ARYAN

It was a safe but competent soft reboot of ANH that wiped away memories of the shit prequels. It's pretty hugely derivative, of course, but the good performances, tight script, and a few interesting concepts and ideas (Kylo esp) keep it from just being a full-on retread of the original movie.

anyone who acts like it's shit has some kind of outside agenda, like hating le evul disney jewz or being an analdevasted prequelbabby/EUfag

The prequels were vastly better than this turd, with the exception of AOTC. Atleast they built the world further, gave us new characters who we remember and actually looked like proper SW instead of mimicking SW.

The Darth Maul/Qui-Gon climax in TPM was so much more exciting than black janitor and Mary Sue fights Kylo in a forest.

Normalfags don't even care anymore. Star wars was so 3 years ago to them

t. analdevastated prequelbabby

the characters in the prequels are all shit and you only pretend to like them because you were four years old when the phantom menace came out

TFA was the first Star Wars flick in 10 years and the was the return of the characters people actually liked, of course it had more hype than Episode VIII

The Last Jedi is still going to make a billion and a half easy and you're delusional if you think otherwise

>tight script

Calling bullshit there. Why exactly did Kylo go evil and Finn go good? There was no explanation for any of it. We knew who Luke and Anakain were as people when they were first introduced. Even at the end of the film, we knew absolutely nothing about Finn, Rey, or Poe. It's impossible to empathize with people who are complete blank slates.

Had too much Leia and Han. Which is why Last Jedi will probably be worse. I genuinely like the new characters. But nostalgic fans won't let shit go.

>prequels are bad meme

Tired of you shitstains repeating this so much. The prequels were too smart for the retarded Star Wars audience apparently. They may have dated CGI but had they been more in the style visually of the older movies they would be regarded as the best movies. I guarantee it. Nothing tops the Maul battle.

Good post fag. I bet you feel smug defending the most unimaginative, cynical and predictable Star Wars film of all times. A film so meaningless they might aswell have called it ANH - politically correct remake and not a single fuck would've known the difference. A film so lazy that it completely nullifies the ending of Ep 6 with zero explanation given just so it can rehash ANH. Man, doesn't the OT feel exciting now knowing all their achievements were for naught and JJ just overrode it completely into nothing?

That's true, the hype isn't comparable at all, but then again I think Disney's fine with that

They hooked in enough people with the first and now they're going to churn out endless sequels and spin offs at a comfortable pace until the world ends in hellfire

What's funny is that Solo and Leia fans don't like it either. That grumpy old man isn't Han Solo. It's a grumpy old man acting like he once used to be Han Solo. This shit is so bad, it's so insulting to anyone that actually liked the characters. They spent millions getting these actors back and it all resulted in what is basically a Retirement Home simulator.

Loved this movie when it came out, two years later I've cooled on it slightly, but still think it's a really enjoyable, well made Star Wars movie.

Finn and Poe were great characters, I really liked the new sets. BB-8 had a lot of charm, and I felt like it did a good job of balancing Han Solo's involvement without having him overshadow the new players. I thought Starkiller was kind of stupid, but when has a Star Wars film not had a stupid element? People criticising it for being derivative are exaggerating way too much. It has a desert planet and a death star. Cool, it also had a new cast, plot, visual style, tone.

Overall just a really fun film. Great incorporation of the older Star Wars elements while updating its visual style for modern audiences, exactly what the prequels were meant to be.

>Why exactly did Kylo go evil

He's obviously an insecure manchild crippled by the expectation to live up to his family legacy. His parents dumped him on Luke and he felt alone, Snoke exploited that. Just because Kylo didn't have a hamfisted I WON'T LET YOU DIE IN CHILDBIRTH PADME motive spelled out to you through exposition doesn't mean his characterization is nonexistent

Keep in mind we still have two more films, Kylo is already more of a character in his first movie than Vader was in ANH, where he had no characterization besides "I'm a bad guy"

>Why did Finn go good

because he saw that the mass murder of unarmed men, women, and children was wrong and he had the opportunity to escape with Poe before they re-brainwashed him? It's not rocket appliances

nuwars sucks

>TFA's version of the Post-RotJ Star Wars universe doesn't match up with my headcanon so NOTHING MATTERS IT'S SHIT REEEEE

Not an argument

"We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children."

How to fix TFA:
>Remove Death Star 3.0 and Snoke
>Make Finn a competent and respected soldier who gradually frees himself from a lifetime of conditioning. He served directly under Kylo Ren and the latter takes this betrayal personally.
>The First Order is initially only a myth and have Poe die in the beginning getting proof of its existence to Senator Leia. They are a small operation and are in tatters. However, they make up for what they lack in complete commitment to their cause and skill.
>Besides a few rough areas that haven't fully recovered or are outside of the New Republic's direct control, have the galaxy be at peace
>Use the original waterworld concept for Jakku
>Make Rey actually likable and limit her to only one or two abilities. Although she discovers a few things on her own, she lacks control of the force and is thus nervous about using these abilities. Need to save something for the sequels.
>Han Solo gets involved because he is tired of boring politics and wants one last adventure. He doesn't show up until late in the 2nd act to allow time for Rey and Finn to properly develop together.
>Knights of Ren lead the FO and are hunting down force sensitive individuals. However, there are is a lot of tension between the members of the group and they could turn one another at any moment.
>Han doesn't die immediately and spends his final moments with Luke and Leia.

ESB>ANH>TFA>ROTJ>R1>ROTS>TPM>AOTC

This is the undeniable ranking. Yes, III sucks, it has shitty character development and awful dialogue. You were 11 when you saw it and hate Disney, that's why you like it.

>get in faggot

How can someone get it so right.

>Nothing tops the Maul battle.

Oh, right, overchoreographed dance-battling with no weight to any of the swings, between characters who have no relationship whatsoever giving the fight absolutely zero dramatic weight

You just liked Darth Maul because you were a child when Phantom Menace came out and you just thought he was the most badassest guy ever

>Remove all dramatic tension by not having a powerful or coherently defined antagonist
>Overstuff the plot
>Make a sappy ending for the sake of unnecessary fanservice

George, is that you?

It was shit. The characters have no endearing quality, every twist can be seen from a mile away or makes no sense, and the most basic questions about the world fail to be answered.
It's hardly even a story, it's just a bunch of things that happen.

As someone who considers Empire Strikes Back as the best star wars movie. And I do not like most of the prequels. I still gotta agree that the Maul battle is top tier.

PORG

Perfectly Organized Racial Genocide

Sieg Heil

So you're just going to dismiss any argument against TFA because "you were a kid once!"

No shit nigger I was. Does that justify what Disney has done to Star Wars, basically negating the entire OT so it could make a shit remake nobody but pseudo-nerds asked for?

>overchoreographed
Get out Mike. It makes perfect sense for Force-sensitive fighters who are using fucking light swords to be overly agile.

...

For all the passive-aggressive smug shit JJ threw at the prequels, he could still not top the best parts of them. Instead he settled on mediocrity knowing some bribed reviews and easily impressionable nerds with a George hateboner would suck your dick no matter what.

>Remove all dramatic tension by not having a powerful or coherently defined antagonist
Kylo Ren would be the most relevant member of the Knights of Ren for the time being. Everything is handled in the sequels.
>Overstuff the plot
How is that overstuffed? If you take out the abominable Rathar sequence and drop Maz altogether then there's plenty of time to develop this stuff.
>unnecessary fanservice
most of the actual movie?

Whoop dee fucking doo if it is made well, the only entertainment value it had was for nostalgia faggots and adhd idiots who are entertained by explosions and flashing lights. Its amazing to have such a monumental creative effort put towards something so creatively bankrupt.

>So you're just going to dismiss any argument against TFA because "you were a kid once!"

No, I'm saying that the prequels are objectively shit and anyone who pretends they're better than TFA has a dishonest agenda, be it regurgitating anti-disney rhetoric or nostalgiafagging

and again, TFA not matching your headcanon isn't an argument against it. Just because everything wasn't sunshine and roses for the heroes and they didn't live happily ever after and have ten million babies named after the people that died in the OT doesn't mean nothing mattered.

You really think ANH Han Solo would have reached out to Kylo on the bridge? Or mentored Rey and Finn?

>obviously an insecure manchild

He pretty much just comes off as an angsty teenager. Any characterization is mostly projection on the part of the audience.

>because he saw that the mass murder of unarmed men, women, and children was wrong

How? He's a fucking Stormtrooper. He's supposed to be conditioned to do stuff like that. There was like a throw away line about how he mostly a janitor, but there was no examination of that.

>keep in mind we still have two more films

I'll reserve judgement, but so far I'm unimpressed.

>Kylo is already more of a character in his first movie than Vader was in ANH

Vader had menace. Kylo couldn't even beat untrained novice. I mean how can you take a villain seriously after that?

He's probably one of those people that argues that the original trilogy lightsaber battles had "emotion" and "told a story" whatever the fuck that means.

>most of the actual movie?

I hate how people accuse TFA of being too fanservicey and then simultaneously bitch and moan that Luke, Han, and Leia didn't get a sappy reunion scene

it's like can you niggers make up your fucking minds

>be it regurgitating anti-disney rhetoric
Are you a mouseshill? Why are you so desperate to defend Disney? If you are under their salary, come forward now. We have enough of you already. Disney doesn't need your defending you faggot.

Ahahahahhah

>this blatant Disney shill ITT mad at people poking fun at his shit ANH remake
Paid reviews and dumb liberals can only defend your trainwreck of a film for so long

No one can be conditioned to just be cool with watchin niggas die. Ever heard of PTSD? Shit phases you whether you want it to or not.

Sieg Heil

>lots and lots of unexplained plot points (and plot holes)
>Kylo Ren wasn't menacing
>the First Order didn't seem like a threat
>Rey was too perfect
>no world building to make the universe seem vast like in previous films
These are my main gripes with it

>Does that justify what Disney has done to Star Wars
>outside agenda, like hating le evul disney jewz

>One short scene vs literally an entire movie of forced narrative and visual callbacks that negates the previous movies and resets the universe.
Come on, user. You can do better. Stop acting obtuse. What I proposed would remove most of the other fanservice.

>essential story aspects are in books instead of the actual film
What a fucking turd

>How? He's a fucking Stormtrooper. He's supposed to be conditioned to do stuff like that.

Hux and Phasma have a conversation about monitoring Stormtroopers for nonconformity and the countermeasures they have put in place to prevent it; they specifically mention that Finn was sent to reconditioning, but he ducks out and saves Poe instead. That reconditioning even exists in the first place shows that Stormtroopers acting out isn't uncommon.

Is it really that hard to believe that of the millions and millions of Stormtroopers that make up the First Order's ranks that a few slip through the cracks on occasion?

>I mean how can you take a villain seriously after that?

Because most people aren't children who evaluate the merits of a villain by how "le badass xDD" they are. Most people understand that Kylo is a young an untested villain at the beginning of his journey rather than at the end of it as Vader was.

The best thing about Kylo Ren is that in TFA he's the only one that realizes he's just a bad copy.

Luke doesn't live in isolation, he lives with his family and says he commonly travels into town

Rey isn't an orphan, she's just been abandoned

BB-8 isn't really carrying information "vital" to the Resistance, it's more that Poe and BB-8 are searching for Luke as a favour to Leia.

You're really overemphasising the role of Lars San Tekka in order to make a spurious comparison to Obi Wan.

They don't burn Rey's home down

Han Solo doesn't help them escape the desert planet

"literally a few hours ago" is one of the more egregious abuses of the term "literally".

In no way does the movie imply Ren and Rey are cousins, her parentage is unknown

We don't know if Snoke is a sith lord

I bypassed the character development!

You keep saying it like Vader was this big fucknig monolith of a character while the truth is that when you put your 5000 year old nostalgia away Vader was a fucking nothing of a character that was glorified into a bad ass by additional material such as video games and comics, and the little game of pretends you played out with his action figure when you were a kid.

He's essentially Optimus Prime.

Ironic, given that this post is a bad copy

...

>Star Wars-mania
>Over

HHHA

NO OMG OLD MAN WE JUST MET FIVE MINUTES AGO JUST DIED

Good. I've made some personal modifications myself and owned this ship for decades. But i don't know shit about electronics.

>Is it really that hard to believe that of the millions and millions of Stormtroopers that make up the First Order's ranks that a few slip through the cracks on occasion?

Maybe not. But I still feel it was something they could have examined a bit more. It all felt so glazed over.

>Because most people aren't children who evaluate the merits of a villain by how "le badass xDD" they are.

In Star Wars? Yes they do. There is a reason Boba Fett and Darth Vader are iconic, even if Fett really didn't do much. Each of them gave a off a sense of menace that was killed with Kylo when he lost to Rey.

>The old man who is a legendary figure who took me under his wing, and who I've spent the last week or so travelling through space with just died

Seems reasonable

Gotta remember Han was famous in that world. So people in that world probably idealize to ridiculous lvls as well. It'd be like seeing.. Idk Paul McCartney or some shit die in front of you.

Luuk going to Dagobah never game up in ANH

What's the Lucasfags on this board's reaction going to be when TLJ makes $2B+ and above 90% on RT? Will they continue to cry and pretend the prequels weren't dogshit, or will they finally grow up?

>Getting emotionalabout the old man you legit thought was a fucking myth

he was a janitor on one assignment, other than that he had other duties

>killed Obi-wan
>kicked Luke's ass
>kicked Han's ass
>killed the Emperor

He did some stuff.

He was a big legend and Kylo during the interrogation said she hopes he'd be the father she never had. So no.

If I found out Bigfoot wasn't a myth and saw him die hours later I'd probably shed at least one tear.

Han and Rey bonding so quickly kind of makes sense given their characters, Rey idolized Han just from hearing stories about him and was desperate for some kind of parental affection, Han had lost his son and was looking for something to help him fill that void in his life, and they both have a lot in common by being good pilots and skill mechanics. It's natural they'd gravitate towards each other.

TLJ won't make $2 billion, no Star Wars sequel has ever topped the gross of the first of the trilogy, but it'll probably make around $1.5 billion, give or take $100 mil

>and above 90% on RT
This means literally nothing after fucking Age of Ultron and Spider-Man Homecoming got that score. RT is nothing but fuel to the brainlet to validate his sheep taste.

...

If Paul Bunyan was brutally slaughtered in front of me after spending a week hanging out, I'd probably react like that

I'll give you killing Obi-Wan. Because we're still only one movie in. Ren has time to do some more evil shit.

wat

.

>nuh uh TFA isn't literally ANH so you can't compare the obviously copy-paste story

But if we are only one movie in then Kylo killed Han Solo too.

would this be an improvement at all?

You'd still have blue (Chewbacca). Stop looking a gift horse in the mouth and be happy you were given a cool sidekick. Greedy bastard

Probably not. Totally gutting it and having something totally different would probably be simpler than random anons trying to tweak it.

Worse than the prequels.

The prequels were memes, but they had originality, and although were terribly executed, they had heart.

The Force Awakens was soulless

The Force Awakens is to the Star Wars cinema series as the new Battlefront game was to the Battlefront series

nice dubs

Micheal, is that you?

Star Wars sucks. kys NERDS!!!!!

This so much this

this is actually kino, idiot Sup Forums posters won't ever understand it though

Body double

TFA really was not souless. I think the new characters gave it a lot of heart. I'd give that to Rouge One though. Souless in every sense.

No, that's retarded and despite it serving as wish fulfillment for your fantasies, it would be a terrible story because it has no sense of structure or scale.

Having Poe die would be the waste of a great character for literally no purpose. By not having the First Order you remove any balance to the New Republic., meaning the main characters can just call the authorities when they get in trouble. Also, without Snoke and the First Order, where would Kylo Ren, Finn, or Phasma come from? Opposition is central to the concept of Star Wars, there needs to be balance since good villains can't exist in a vacuum.

>have the galaxy be at peace
For what purpose? That's not Star Wars, that's Star Truce. The intergalactic conflict is core to the series

Also, how would Han meet Rey if he's just waiting around for the adventure? His current story makes sense

Also the ending is fucking terrible, might as well add in some Ewoks singing if we're going full "Christmas Special" sappy

>they had heart

>lots of garbage acting and dialogue
>heart

Solo Luke bants had some heart. Anakin and Obi was devoid of anything human.

youtube.com/watch?v=xpecPKuUYnE

Best score

Her only part was to be a nude corpse, why would they bother with a body double for a first time actress whos only job is to play dead?