The 3000 year old virgin

The 3000 year old virgin

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fucking hell mate she is bewtiful

P U R E

My flatmate looks exactly like her but with larger tits

Hehehe dude imagine right

I want to be a Hobbit and be used by her as a large sextoy

Éowin >>> Arwen
It's pretty much a scinetific fact.

>you now remember the drama surrounding her casting and wish Sup Forums was around then just for the banter and hype

...

What was the drama? I wasn't at the age where I really gave a shit about behind the scenes stuff.

>Éowin
literally jumps on the first cock that is willing to fuck her

This, that pale smooth chest is begging to be licked.

This is correct

This is misinformed

You diddle her while she's asleep yet?

Would a woman wake up if you fondled her while she was sleeping? Does it depend on how lightly they sleep?

can you imagine not having sex for 3000 years? hehe

No but I daydream about it. I even loosened a lightbulb so I could watch her jumping to reach it and fix it

someone post the webm of her raping and getting creampied by Chad in Leftovers

I wish she let Merry smash
Guess not even in an idealistic fantasy universe consider women manlets potentional mating partners

Back off virgins

my wife literally falls asleep while i'm fucking her. she's so tired of my shit she tells me to do anything i want except cum inside and then she turns around and goes to sleep. basically the only reason she fucks me is her strict catholic upbringing.

One elfu to rule them all

3000? are you some kind of pedo-elf?

Galadriel is mommy

>jumping to reach it and fix it
Your flt doesn't have chairs?

Women truly amaze me, its that that webm of that niglet fucking the shit out of this chick whens shes just casually looking at her phone unaffected.

You must lead a very exciting life

Disgusting.

DUNEDAINED.com

...

Source?

wow

You need to get drunk with her and tell her she can't possibly turn you on. When she says that of course she can, challenge her to do so. Then sit back as tries different things. Then fug. science.

You need to spice shit up. Choke her, put a finger in her butt, shit on her chest or something.

>bewtiful
Stop being a nigger

Saw it like a year ago and never again, no fucking idea man.

I challenged her to reach it teasing

>You need to get drunk with her and tell her she can't possibly turn you on
This only works if she finds you attractive already

I will die a virgin. I'm 24 and at the point of no return.

I have a gf and she knows it

Christ, quit condescending to the man. At least shes letting him fuck her. Most women would just say no.

if I had a penny for every chick that's told me they don't enjoy sex and don't feel anything from it. Female biology is fucked up and it's all in their heads.

Fuck off youngfag

Same, we're not gonna make it.

I lost it at 23, first kiss, blowjob and sex on that night. There is always hope anons.

Keep calm and let it come, bros. Happened to me at 27 and everything's fine now !
You'll be alright.

If thats the best he can expect from life than how is that worth living?

I'm trying to help him out. It's never too late to fix things.

Is that some Cate Blanchett? Damn,I have always had the biggest crush on her

I'm so sorry to hear this, despite being physically blessed by my dad's wang genetics Is sadly right. A lot of them act up like they have a huge sex appeal but when it comes down to it they just want to lie down, tell us to get it over with so they can return to social media and complain about trivial stuff.

You're going to make it man. Finally at 25 and came across my middleschool crush from way back. Week later we were going about it like rabbits. That will be you too, soon. Just put yourself out there. I'm not going chad on you, just that you can't find anyone unless you go outside and talk to people.

polite sage

ELF WOMEN WERE MADE FOR BMC

Start fucking young trannies that'll perk her up a bit.

But orc starts with an O user...

TAXES?

Serious question, do you grab them by the back of their heads and jackhammer into them do hard they gasp and shake and almost lose consciousness? Because they seem to enjoy that when I do it

Story?
I am desperate for some happy stories

>tfw penis is too small to ever lose virginity

Admittedly I'm not into that kind of stuff but something like that did nearly happen once, yes.

Yeah, but imagine a 3000 year old slut. How many dicks did she have in her ?

>basically the only reason she fucks me is her strict catholic upbringing.
How is her strict Catholic upbringing the reason she fucks you? Is it suppose to be a Catholic priest rape joke?

I'm guessing its because its her duty as a wife in her religion.

Same as your average 20 yo roastie

reminder that aragorn is an 85 years old gramps

I am pretty sure all mainstream Christian religions shun sex that is not for the sake of procreating.

Not catholicism, my dad was raised catholic and they partied.

never understood why wasn't she picked up in her prime? when she was in Aerosmith's mvs.

did they have some pact that Alicia Silverstone will have movies in that era, Liv in the 2010s?

wasted potential, altough she's still beautiful


also wtf happened to Alicia?

You guys just aren't attractive/have weak dick game if women are constantly saying they don't enjoy sex around you, or aren't enjoying it with you.

>Not catholicism
Yes Catholicism, guy.

ewtn.com/library/prolenc/appenda.htm

Your dad did not abide by Church standards, which have actually loosen up in the past 2 decades. So assuming you are 20+ years older, the Catholic church then was significantly more stringent on sex then.

It's the birth control. They start taking them as young as 14 to stop periods happening and it fucking poisons their ovaries and nerve endings. You think your chronic masturbation has fucked up your dick? That's nothing compared to this shit. 3dps

She really isn't all that attractive, she has a horse-face.

>implying a chronic masturbating, mentally ill millennial has any clue about what having a strong dick game even means
get the fuck out of here, you sissy effeminate faggot

This guy is her dad

>10,000 years old

irish catholic

Just kill yourself and save your family any further embarrassment

>3000 years old

It must be tough to be bored from absolutely everything.

disappeared into nothingness, only to have an fappening vid of her masturbating and squrting

I'm 31, 30kg overweight and have crippling self esteem issues that make me too bitchy to even try to fix my life.
Please do not follow this route.

Not with that shitty attitude.

Also, that tongue.

This (pause) is digital blackface

Chuck's Fuck and Suck

>30kg overweight
try 10kg underweight

I walked past Liv Tyler on a street in NY last year and she smiled at me

She's still fucking gorgeous but in a MILF kinda way

Well, yeah there are people who call themselves Catholic who are just pretending.

Just like they're are people who call themselves Jews and eat shellfish. Doesn't change the fact that Jews aren't supposed to eat shellfish.

is that canon Shelob?

I need peer reviewed studies on this Tsukihi.

I'll never play this garbage.

Why is Shelob a human woman?

i dunno, i skipped all the cutscenes.

because video game sexualization

that's literally all there is to it

I'll probably never play this game, but why I had to read this dammed spoilers

Have you seen her sisters? She's the definition of winning the gene lottery.

Something about how Shelob is like Pennywise, as in not actually a Spider, just a demon that can take multiple forms.

Interested to see her in Gunpowder next week.

Who is this?

A catholic wife is supposed to put out for her husband, period. But the husband is supposed to fuck her, too, so it goes both ways. Basically the church guarantees your right to the reproduce in a marriage. Failing to do your spousal duties is grounds for annulment/divorce. Failure to conceive is part of it.

Same age here. Hasn't happened since, but I'm glad I got it outta the way, finally.

Have faith man, all I can say is work on self improvement. Read, workout, make money.

>these are the marriage fags that shitpost on mgtow threads

I'm sorry to have to do this to you guys.

>sober yourself up for two years
>get fit and muscular
>barely any friends but you get by your own self improvement and your close family
>start to go to a new club of your favorite hobby
>suddently, your only real friend, has a stroke
>your father survives by a miracle but seems to get a lot of after-effects, barely recognizes you, is fully dependant on you
>barely any money because you were struggling with a engineer career, third year

yeah fuck all this shit, life sucks and people are shit, god hates us