What is your favorite Homestuck fan theory?

What is your favorite Homestuck fan theory?

Karkat is the cancer killing Universe C.

That everything after Cascade isn't canon

The "Alpha Timeline" is just the exact sequence of events needed for the first guardians to come into being. Time travel is actually a lot more flexible than everyone thinks.

That Hussie lost his mind.

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THAT IT FINALLY FUCKING DIED AND THERE IS NO MORE REASON TO MAKE ANY THREADS FOR IT

>Hiveswap comes out this month
>snapchat updates and the TV show still coming
Hotpockets, shut the fuck up.

>clinging on shit

>i don't like it so you can't talk about it!
Hotpockets, shut the fuck up.

This.

Also the ghost writer conspiracy amuses me to no end.

That it could have been good. In the hands of a competent writer perhaps. At the very least an earnest one.

>clinging on fucking shit
>wanting to watch the adventures of Dave and Karkat's gay baby

>Davekat
>canon

>DaveJade
Even worse.

Enjoy your OT3.

>hiveswap comes out this month
Will it?
There hasn't been anything new since december, and a release for this month should have already been solidified then.

>Karkat's relationship with Dave hasn't even been mentioned in the snapchat, Jade shown more with him

That Karezi was endgame.

Maybe it was until Hussie got the genius idea to bring Vriska back.

fuck karezi

You know Hussie doesn't like telling anyone anything, even the exact release date for a game in the month it supposedly releases in.

Hey all, Cohen here! Thank you all for reading my webcomic and thank you for supporting me during the rough development of Hiveswap! I can't wait for all of you to see what I've been cooking up! My fans are the BEST!

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>implying he won't bring this shit pairing up again
Always
Bet
On
Nussie

>it'll happen in Collide!
>it'll happen in Act 7!
>it'll happen in the Credits!
>it'll happen in the Snapchat Updates!

When will you learn? Even Cohen and Piggy have said Dave and Jade are fucking, much to the ire of the fujos.

Always bet on Nussie. Enjoy your shitty Jade wojac edits and Davekat liberators shitting up every thread.

Again, you've claimed for this for almost a year now, it just doesn't come true. Why are you so determined to push davekat?

>I don't ship Davekat!
>But it's totally gonna happen guise!!

>user sees a thread
>"hmmm, but how do i make it about davekat, for an entire year?"

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And then there's this asshole.

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Sans is Ness.

fuck off, retard

And the only relationship that lasted was Kanaya/Rose

classpect duality

Who else was she going to token lesbian with, Vriska?

I'm still holding on to the beautiful lie that is "hope".

Seemed like that was the case early on, but by the end of 5.1 it was pretty clear how fucking awful that relationship was, and that Hussie wasn't stupid enough to put them together after burying it so deep. This was when "Hussie wasn't stupid enough" was a sentence that held credulity.

Aranea

Asian Jade?

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Rose's dark mode was an aspect inversion.
People have gone full crackpot with inversion theories, but let's not lose sight of the fact that inversion did actually happen once.

An inversion didn't happen, Rose was light themed, and when she done fucked up she got literally grim dark. It holds thematic relevance, but to ascribe anything further is pure speculation, if not fabrication.

Post-retcon was caliborn or alt calliope's masterpiece, we have been rused this whole time. I still get notes from this post on tumblr

Hi BKEW, I thought you killed yourself.

Inversion theories of any kind are shit. Get out

when the fuck will hiveswap come out

this month

According to the Wizard's Glyph Kabbalistic Theory, Rose went through qliphotic inversion switching from Binah (Light) to Satariel, a qlipha of concealment inhabited by Lucifuge (reverse of Lucifer; "he who flees from Light"), thus "grim dark".

Jade went grimbark, thus translating her aspect to Light just to invert it.

Those sure are some words arranged in a way that could be convincingly considered a "sentence".

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alternatively, its called grimdark because that's a phrase people used to describe an dark and edgy version of something at the time, you massive autist

otp
>not realizing Lucifuge flees from the Light and the absence of light is dark
it's like you haven't left the matrix

Light and Void being opposing aspects makes sense definitely but player inversion is fucking stupid and you should stop having fun immediately.

Better theory: Karkat was supposed to die at the climax of murderstuck, but external pressures (Rachel, fandom, whoever the hell you want to blame) pushed him away from it. Ever since then Hussie hasn't had a clue on what to do with Karkat's character arc, resulting in the KarDavRezi clusterfuck of Act 6 and ultimately DaveKat.

Homestuck was a fucking mistake. Someone needs to release me from it's dominion. I want to leave now.

The aspect pairs have been set in stone for years, it's classpects where shit gets retarded.

The pairings are Blood-FREEDOM, Rage-Hope, Doom-Life, Time-Space, and Mind-Heart. That's it.

Then stop. At this point you're either shooting the shit on /hst/ from time to time or actively digging into the cesspools of r/homestuck and Tumblr to get your fix.

Andrew Hussie is a self-loathing betacuck numale whose been emotionally castrated by Halftruth and literally castrated by IPGD. All of his friends and employees are SJWs who demonize men and it comes through in his writing of all male Homestuck characters been wimpy and emotionally broken and the female characters as strong independent women who don't need no man.

No, you do it like this.

DaveJade is the only good relationship in all of Homestuck, and here's why:

Both characters built on each other in a constructive way. Dave's primary issue is that he has to be the coolkid. In most conversations, he's perpetually defensive, trying to prove that he's really that cool. It's only with Jade (and Terezi, I suppose) that he's willing to drop the facade even a little. Yet nobody except Jade (and maybe Terezi, though it's hard to say what level of irony she was operating on) actually believes for a second that he is cool. The fact that Jade accepts it is what allows him to let his guard down while talking to her. She enables him to move out of his shell and become his own person.

On the other hand, Jade has enormous potential, but no one but Dave recognizes it. Rose mostly ignores her, except for when she wants a prediction, and John regards her as his silly friend but not a whole lot beyond that. Only Dave sees that, with some help, she could become something far greater than she is, and he dedicates a lot of time to helping her achieve that. Look at the client/server relationships: Rose is pretty hands-on with John, but is more concerned with figuring out the game mechanics than helping John out. Dave pretty much leaves Rose alone after she enters, since he knows she'd find being treated like she can't handle herself patronizing. John doesn't really get a chance to do anything with Jade beyond placing the initial entry equipment. But Dave spends a lot of time trying to help Jade figure things out and get situated.

Basically, Dave and Jade compliment and complete each other. No one else in Homestuck has that kind of relationship.

Looking back, do you suppose Cohen was writer from Game Over onward?

Was a writer? Yes. I don't think he had primacy or anything. Perhaps if he had we could have escaped this nightmare before the doors shut on us.

i maintain that the comic (as in, the actual comic hosted on the site) was written entirely by hussie, even if the post retcon was so bad it makes people think that's not the case

To expand on the theory of qliphotic inversion (Wizard's Glyph alternative to regular inversion theory): besides Rose, Calliope is an example of a possible inversion.
Alt!Calliope is a much broodier, darker version of Calliope. This hints that a possible inversion occurred.

In the Kabbalah, Space=Malkuth is a pretty clear correspondence. Malkuth is Earth.

This is where it gets weird. The qlipha of Malkuth is Lilith. The myth of Lilith is that she refused to be subservient to Adam (the Bible was pretty sexist) and then got cast away from paradise leaving Adam with Eve. Alt!Calliope is from an alternate timeline that got doomed because she dominated a man, Caliborn. In this analogy, Calliope and Caliborn are Eve and Adam, the first players. Remember that Homestuck is meant to be a creation myth.

In other words, Alt!Calliope went through qliphotic inversion to Lilith as a master class and thus acquired the role of Lilith.

What is this Evangelion shit?

It's someone with too much time on their hands, and too little perspective in their head.

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>muh old ships

>Liking character interactions from a time when the character interactions were enjoyable

Gee, I wonder why.

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Unironically this should have happened.

I dislike your opinion and extend my negative view of the things you like to you as a person.

I actually had a small realization last night regarding Cohen.

During the course of Homestuck I'd occasionally encounter these fans who would do their fanfics and art pieces and whatnot which made Homestuck out to be either this great drama or this great tragedy, or else something generic and saccharine and cute, which Hussie himself spoke against late in Act 5. He talked about how the fans wanted to have all the trolls survive and have all the characters meet and just have this cute domestic day-to-day slice-of-life story with them chumming around and how he viewed that prospect as boring and creatively bankrupt.

What all of these people always seemed to miss was that Homestuck was - at its best and strongest moments - about 60% absurdist comedy and 40% anything else. The slap-in-the-face comedy and deliberate perversity of the humour was the backbone of what made it work.

Reading Cohen's stuff... I realized that not only is it not funny, it's not even TRYING to be funny. It's just trying to be cute and soft and inoffensive to the sensibilities of LGBT shippers like himself. The thing which made Homestuck work was always the willingness to offend the audience for a laugh and make us laugh at our own offense, and there's not one trace of that in Cohen's approach. It's bland and soulless, and it's not Homestuck.

Nah. That's like wanting Tavris as endgame.

> You are darling to me.

God fucking dammit Darlington...

Hey now, let's not go too far. Just call him a fucking brainless faggot that needs to kill himself and just rip off that band-aid of disappointment he's been to those around him, not do hurtful things like compare him to a Tavris shipper.

I don't necessarily agree with the offensiveness being core to Homestuck, but the rest I agree with.

>Another approach would have been to treat this cast like that of a syndicated cartoon, with amusing but basically static lives. Antics happen, hijinks are afoot, everyone is pals and things are ok forever. Tune in next week! I don't deny there's entertainment value in that, with the content leaning on characters and relationships above anything else. This is actually the reality of this work echoed by the collective consciousness of fan artists, who cast all these characters in a perma-living state playing out amusing scenarios with each other. It's fun. Doesn't serve the bigger story much! Not one with a complex architecture headed in a very specific direction, but fun nonetheless. It would be prioritizing character far beyond the overarching story. I'm not doing that. Certainly not with characters always designed to play a transient role. The bottom line is, I had plans, and I stuck to them. I wouldn't change them midstream because I got the sense that some people would rather Homestuck be "Trolls! The Sitcom."
Holy shit

I haven't bothered keeping up with the snapchat updates, has anything actually happened or been explained?

YES! That's the specific text I was thinking of. I had no idea how to go about googling it. Bravo for being able to fish it out of the ether that way.

It really is everything that Hussie said he had no intention of doing.

I knew instantly what you were talking about because I will always remember the phrase "Trolls! The Sitcom."

It's funny. He turned his comic into everything he hates. He lost all integrity. It's fine that he didn't want a sitcom, and Homestuck needed that humor, but it also needed a balance. Once in a while, like any funny old RPG, like Earthbound itself, the absurdism would at least be broken up by occasional sweetness or seriousness. You NEEDED that occasional contrast to give respite.

Basically I'm stopping here from another useless 20 paragraphs to say this stems from the triple tech of idiocy of Hussie's shit attitude to writing, his lack of restraint when making this, and failing to use his strengths and relying on trolls to the point of meaningless saturation.

We used to love this dumb little oafs.

I think "CAUCASIAN!" was the last we saw of Hussie truly writing the comic, after that he probably just gave up and stopped caring what happened to Homestuck.

He gave up on a lot more than Homestuck by then. I feel like he tried to be his old self and instead of just rolling with it and accepting drops from the comic, he just kept wiffle-waffling on whatever his life had turned into by then and lost his will to care. And that cost him the entire comic and community and game and his future.

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Why can't Dave just be with Karkat and Jade?

Why are you all so stubborn!

Absolutely agree.

Don't worry!

If it's not Davekat, it's OT3 :^)
>Karkat will forever be shipping bait and a joke character

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John should have gotten Rose pregnant. Fucking Hussie

Or at least Dave. The two of them always had great chemistry together.

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John should have gotten Dave pregnant?

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