Spider-man #12 storytime

HAHAHAHA time for the spider waifu to get BLACKED
WAIFUFAGS ON SUICIDE WATCH

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i want to fucking kill myself

up to a good start

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So Bendis really is gonna act like CWII was some kind of character defining moment for Miles?
There goes another characters ruined.

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>tfw not an insecure racist and kinda like this

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nothing actually happens and they said it was a one moment thing
so yeah, its not that bad

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A woman whose vagina shoots out rings...

Sup Forums is going to shit up the thread anyway so lemme get a head start

FUCK WHITE MEN

I CANT WAIT UNTIL YOU KEKS ARE BRED OUT OF EXISTENCE BY SUPERIOR BBC

>My future wife
>Or at least my future girlfriend
Getting a little to optimistic there Miles.

>I dont actually mean this. Most of you are cool desu

Fucking Disgusting! I'm sick of this race mix crap
Literally throwing your genes away

Don't be the one to start, user. Smh. Anyways, thank you OP. Going to buy the variant of this.

I liked it

real thread theme: youtube.com/watch?v=8vxkw2IMvvg

>Miles

>Ruined

You can't ruin what's already trash

How does Bendis manage to not grasp that the concept of alternate realities is entirely mundane to MU citizens by now?

OP, you gonna storytime Jessica Jones and Captain Hydra?

Sick of the constant pointless panels of Miles friends being redundant.
Typical Bendis padding.

shit cap hydra is out?
gonna do it now

Is Gwen a midgit? Shouldn't she be taller than miles? He's only 15 iirc

He's catching Scarlet Spider syndrome.

Why wouldn't he just go to Peter??

Bendis?

Peter is busy in Japan or some shit

Bendis is pretending Peter is already dead in this universe. He gets like this sometimes when Marvel tells him no.

Miles is 16 and Gwen is ~19. Men are generally taller than women once they hit puberty.

That said, yeah, Gwen is definitely drawn way shorter than she should be here.

>this wasn't petty stuff. this was a war.
No, Miles, I'm pretty sure it was just petty stuff and decidedly NOT a war.

Haven't they already met dozens of times before? The fuck is this shit

I like the older woman angle

Yeah but Peter should be his mentor fuck this iron man pandering bullshit
That makes sense
Isn't Gwen in her early twenties? I took it that she was 21, 22

I guess you're right but still, they should be the same height at the least

Wait, does 616 HAVE a The Ringer? I mostly just remember him from Utlimate.

Miles, you've met Spider-gwen before.

Are you honestly expecting Bendis to remember that?

>Isn't Gwen in her early twenties? I took it that she was 21, 22
She took a year off from college so she should be like 19-20, but she was once shown hanging out in a bar so I assumed 21. They're going with 19 now to keep this arc from being creepy.

>>tfw when an entire issue and fight without a single venom blast

Meh
16 and 21 isn't that creepy, not when the male is younger anyway

you're an idiot

I was hoping jumping dimensions would tear Miles away from his supporting cast, but Bendis found a way to include them

So much for things happening between issyes

>There goes another characters ruined.

You're acting like Miles hasn't always been shit.

Fucking Miles would still count as child molestation in the majority of the states, since the cutoff on adolescents is 18 or two years difference.

At least his grandma is gone hopefully forever

That's literally grounds to be charged as a sexual predator, user.

>Look I'm Maria Hill and these are my problems!

Goddamnit Pachelli! Get the feet on Gwen's costume right! They're supposed to look like chucks!

Why can seemingly no one get this right?

>if only I knew somebdoy who can see through the eyes of all NYC birds!

How? Fucking nothing happened.

Miles' book is like the white bread of comics. It looks like bread, but doesn't fill you up and has zero flavor.

He doesn't know that. Remember, there are other people masquerading as Spider-Man to keep the illusion that Spidey is always in NYC.

>Haven't they already met dozens of times before?

No? Pretty sure Spider-Verse is the only time they ever saw each other. Did they even interact with one another at all during Spider-Verse?

I've always been confused by this meme, that's not how breeding works

This is... tiring. Don't care about the ship, but too many things don't work in this comic. I don't even know why am I reading it right now.

>expecting Bendis to do even the most minimal amount of research

Remember, we're talking about a guy who thinks the University of Cambridge is in London.

bleedingcool.com/2016/03/16/international-iron-man-doesnt-know-much-about-geography-or-history/

>She took a year off from college so she should be like 19-20

She was confirmed to be 19 in a recent issue of her own book.

Miles is from Ultimate. He's one of the only ones that remember *everything* from Secret Wars II. that includes his memories from Ultimate.

This.

Any other writer would have told this same story in like 3 or 4 pages. Fuck decompressed storytelling.

That was pretty good, and I enjoyed it. Is it enough for me to pick up spidergwen? Probably not. But I'll follow this story on Mile's book.

Thanks, OP.

>That was pretty good

Fucking how? Nothing even happened.

Why do you care about his opinion?

I'm curious how anyone could derive enjoyment out of this non-story.

The entire contents of this issue should have been covered in a single page.

Now I wonder if sony going to pull this shit in the new Spider-Man cartoon.

Shouldn't gwen be 10+ years older than miles?

Gwen is 19 (confirmed in a recent issue of her own book).

Miles is 15 or 16

Thanks for the storytime.

Also, the Ringer could have been brought over after Secret Wars. Who knows, right?

>Who knows, right?

I doubt Bendis even knows himself. There is a reason why he doesn't explain anything.

Not that guy, but we got to see Miles learn that his dad is a SHIELD agent (again) and keep it all in stride. Bendis' Maria Hill is still on point. The Miles-Ganke bromance got some panel time...

I don't understand how, after like 15+ years of writing Ultimate Spider-Man, there are still people who pick up a Bendis Spider-Man title and then bitch about decompressed storytelling.

>Secret Wars II
You mean Secret Wars IV.

Gwen is 19. Miles is 16.

Wow, THAT plot point was resolved out of nowhere.

You know, why do they keep telling us that Miles' father is super-badass? He's a retired Shield agent. Active agents get murdered ALL THE TIME by supervillains, they're the equivalent of Hand assassins or Hydra mooks.

>You want to know what happens next?!
Nah, I'm good. Thanks though.

Gwen is old enough to drink.

>I don't understand how, after like 15+ years of writing Ultimate Spider-Man, there are still people who pick up a Bendis Spider-Man title and then bitch about decompressed storytelling.

Because even up through the end of Ultimate Peter's final arc, the decompression was never this bad.

Most issues actually, you know, had something fricken happen. There was a point to them. Rather than being an obnoxiously long winded summary of events that could be covered in a page or two by just about any other writer.

The problem was that the whole changeover just took the wind out of Bendis's sales. There is literally no plot once Miles is over, and the idea of him being a legacy character just goes out the window when Ultimate Peter Parker turns out to be alive, and acting completely OOC.

The Ringer has been around since the 70's.

>Because even up through the end of Ultimate Peter's final arc, the decompression was never this bad.
Lol it was

This is because Miles is a poorly conceived character. There is literally nothing to him. He is just "generic good guy".

I want to see him have a mental breakdown from the pressure of being a Spider-Man knockoff (or even just being a super hero at all) and have him snap. He could temporarily be a villain and then deal with the consequences from all that.

That would give this book fucking SOMETHING to talk about. Instead of just a bunch of talking heads and nothing of any actual consequence happening for issue after issue.

It wasn't. Go back and read some of USM pre-Miles. It wasn't anywhere near as obnoxious as Bendis' current stuff.

Hell, even late Ultimate Pete wasn't this decompressed. Give the post-Ultimate stuff with the Shroud and the Chameleon twins a reread for example.

Ultimate Spider-man was decompressed as fuck from the very first arc

:/ this is so shit. bring back the ultimate universe for him.

I don't understand how, after 5+ years, people can praise a writer for doing the bare minimum.

Like shit, even if you binge read all of Miles' stories you still get barely anything.

>it's a Maria Hill fucks something up rerun

Agreed. But still not THIS decompressed. That's my point. It didn't feel I needed to read five issues to actually have a point.

The story being told in this Miles book isn't even worth waiting for a trade. The trade would be just as dull and uneventful.

>The Miles-Ganke bromance got some panel time..

But that happens every other issue at the expense of Miles getting to fight crime, or go on an adventure.

The supporting cast is dominating the book, and refusing to let Miles have a bigger part in it. Ganke, Goldballs, and Miles' dad are the worst offenders. Hell, Goldballs doesn't even do anything, but we're forced to acknowledge and enjoy him in practically every issue.

>or go on an adventure.

Or do anything interesting at all.

>entire 2-page spread of why and how Miles can't/won't go to SHIELD
>SHIELD immediately comes to Miles

BRAVO, BENDIS!

>b-but this is g-good story telling!
>Its t-totally enjoyable!