Top 5 scenes that we will never see in Game of Thrones

>She was sopping wet when he entered her. “Damn you,” she said. “Damn you damn you damn you.” He sucked her nipples till she cried out half in pain and half in pleasure. Her cunt became the world.

>And suddenly his cock was out, jutting upward from his breeches like a fat pink mast.

>The ship groaned and growled beneath him like a constipated fat man straining to shit.

>Sunset found her squatting in the grass, groaning. Every stool was looser than the one before, and smelled fouler. By the time the moon came up she was shitting brown water. The more she drank, the more she shat, but the more she shat, the thirstier she grew, and her thirst sent her crawling to the stream to suck up more water.

>The three men were erect. The sight of their arousal was arousing

THIS is Game of Thrones? Jesus christ, it reads like a vulgar parody of Lord of the Rings.

The diarrhea scene

I wouldn't be surprised if the fat fuck is smashing that 10/10 british pussy in exchange for future movie roles

>Maisie Williams
>10/10
lol no

in England she is

beauty is in the eye of the beholder and most brits can't ask for much

1. Jaime fucking her with father's body near?

2. When Sam and Gilly fuck in the boat

3. I dont recall..... Tyrion at battle of blackwater?

4. Lol eat dem berries danny

5. When danny is having the erotic dancing shit in fucking quarth ?

>like a constipated fat man straining to shit.
write what you know big guy

It really is. With the LOTR, the movies were popular because of the books. With GOT, the books became popular because of the show. The HBO people have problems all their own, but they were wise to reject the majority of GRRM's themes and tropes and try to create a narrative that has a point.

It is a vulgar parody of LotR.

Yeah I'm pretty much 100 percent certain he wrote that while he was on the toilet failing to produce a bowl movement.

Bowel movement*

>3. I dont recall..... Tyrion at battle of blackwater?
well, not that, it was ADWD, when Selaesori Qhoran was hit by the storm.

Bronn: Fuckin assfuck! Fuckety fucksticks, you fuckin assfucking fucking god damned fucking fuckey muddafucka you... your fuckin fuckin ass stilsl owes me a fucking whore-ass' shit bitchload of fatherfuckin god damned motherfuckin gold!
Jaime silently mouths "hooollly fuckkkin shiiitt ass cockkkk fucccckkkk" and throws his fucken god damned shit assed mother fucken hand to fucken Bronn.
Jaime: Tit's fuckin' cunts, now your stupid fucking ass-sucking god damned self can claim you killed the fucken god damned asshole of a kingslayer! That might just fucken be fucken enough for a nice little fucken goddamned fuckin' home...
Bronn: I'm not a fucken nice damned goddamned guy, shit bitch!
They fucken keep riding side by damned fucken side.
Bronn: Shit. Shit. Not that it would do much wretched damned good anyways, you cocksucking fag faggot. Now that those frakkin zombies are coming for us all and all of our asshole asses.
Jaime: FUCKING ZOMBIES, BITCH??? SHIT!
Bronn: Fucken made that fuckin' goddamned shit up, nigga. Sounds reeaalll fuckin good though, doesn't it, asshole? Ha fuckin bitch ass ha!
Jaime: It's fucken real sexin good to have you here, my motherfuckin cunt friend bitch asshole.
Bronn: Gettin a little shitassed sentimental there, huh, you fuckin god damned cocksuckin shit damned bitch ass Lannister?
Silence.
Bronn: Me fuckin' too, me fucken laddopotamus.

Ahhh. There is a lot of fat men shitting and groaning. It fucking makes me so happy to imagine GRR buck naked with an engorged member typing fucking page long descriptions of the food for feasts, taking a break from climax to describe every banner being presented in detail.

God he gets me going

my 14yo sister reads this because of the show god fucking dammit

Freshen your drink governor?

hm... no

what an utterly average specimen

“I looked for you in the /cel/ discussion thread,” Stannismod said to them.

“We were not there,” Ser Firefu answered.

“Woe to Moot if we had been,” said Ser Buttslut.

“When the General was deleted, the mods slew your waifus with a golden banhammer, and I wondered where you were.”

“Far away,” Ser Firefu said, “or we'd still be posting, and our false brother would burn in seven 404's.”

“I came down on /got/ to lift the siege,” Stannismod told them, “and the Lords CLEGANEBOWL and Eurio dipped their banners, and all their knights bent the knee to pledge us fealty. I was certain you would be among them.”

“Our knees do not bend easily,” said Ser Frogfu.

“Ser Rickonbro is fled to /y/, with that boy he swears he didn't molest. I thought you might have sailed with him.”

“Ser Rickonbro is a shitposter and true,” said Ser Buttslut.

“But not of the Waifuguard,” Ser Firefu pointed out. “The Waifuguard does not flee.”

“Then or now,” said Ser Frogfu. He donned his helm.

“We swore a vow,” explained old Ser Firefu.

Stannismod's janitors moved up beside him, with shadow banhammers in hand. They were seven against three.

“And now it begins,” said Ser Frogfu, the Sword of Firsts. He unsheathed Ellie_shopping.gif and held it with both hands. Her skin was pale as milkglass, alive with light.

“No,” Stannismod said with sadness in his voice. “Now it ends.”

>like a constipated fat man straining to shit.
Pretty unprofessional to insert himself into the narrative like that

AMERICAN TOLKIEN

When most people say " Tolkien " they are just reading into
>Hey its fucking fantasy right?
>Does he describe shit in detail?

What is the context of the whole "Sunset found her squatting in the grass, groaning. Every stool was looser than the one before, and smelled fouler. By the time the moon came up she was shitting brown water. The more she drank, the more she shat, but the more she shat, the thirstier she grew, and her thirst sent her crawling to the stream to suck up more water."-bit?

what the fuck are you talking about

it's a chapter from the late ADWD, when Dany flew off on the Drogon, who abandoned her in the middle of the Grass Sea later. She had nothing to eat, found some berries, ate them and suffered a hard diarrhea.

After she rides Black dragon he basically ignores her BS and she wanders off like a fucking retard. After a day or so she is starving and thirsty

>Oh these faggot horse guys used to make a sauce out of these berries. Ill eat like five handfulls raw!!!!!

She then proceeded to shit her guts out, nearly dying in the process, until she finds a charred horse left over from dargon.

Khalisaar rides up on her ass, and finds her naked, covered in blood and shit, eating horse meat.

Thats where the book ended and this faggot decided to take it EVEN EASIER

When dany's black dragon carries her out to the grasslands and she has to walk back, she has to find water at some point and ends up drinking shitwater.

that is a 6/10 in america and a 3 in Sweden

Dany has dysentery

"Men call me Darkstar, and I am of the night."

GRRM has no point to his work other than "Fuck Tolkien" and different variations of "Evil will always triumph because good is dumb." The HBO people a least give their audience payoffs. I enjoy the show largely because it craps all over the themes of the books.

what did he mean by this?

Your sister probably masturbates to some of these scenarios. You now know why women love romance novels.

Why do those books sound so trashy? Who the hell would write that kind of shit and think to themselves, this is just perfect. Nailed it.

oh my sweet summer child...

nothing wrong with this line

those lines are just a tad cherrypicked

>this meme

>GRRM has no point to his work other than "Fuck Tolkien" and different variations of "Evil will always triumph because good is dumb."
what

Eww no.
And holy crap her arm looks like a google map trying to find roads in a rural mountain town before it finishes loading the overlay.

>"Hello this is Netflix you're greenlit."

>Her cunt became the world.
>bookfags think this is good writing

Thank god for D&D desu famalam.