It's time once again for a Spider-man episode. Today, Spidey is looking for a murderer in New York and finds a whole different ball of wax.
Previous Spidey episodes here (updated to include them all)
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Fantastic Four episodes here
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Other urls found in this thread:
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But before we begin. I asked for someone to voice Spider-man for me and then asked them to sing a song for me. It's to practice working with Sup Forums collaborations and working with audio mixing and other people and stuff so here's the result of that. Take a look.
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I'm feeling a little like Ed Wood, as I sit here in my Angora sweater, because I didn't give the guy any direction or critiques or asked for retakes or anything because it's fine and I'll fix it in post (I didn't fix it in post)
BUT a successful collaboration on Sup Forums is rare and a collaboration between two people is still a collaboration, damnit.
And like Ed Wood, I'll say that my next project will be better. I'm looking for voice actors, a Venom, Carnage, Punisher, Spider-man, Norman Osborne, Black Cat, J Jonah Jameson to do a short little video of various characters leaving harassing phone calls for Spider-man
Interested? Drop me a line. [email protected]
ALERT ALERT SECURITY BREACH WE HAVE A SECURITY BREACH
Cool
Jason! He's heading to the wall! It's Red Dog Melvin! He's a killer! Not unlike the others we have here but his fursona is the most treacherous!
WHAT???? DOUG YOU HAVE TO SPEAK UP OR OPEN A WINDOW! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
You guys! Shine some light where I'm not looking! He's clearly not in my line of sight!
Grrrrr that was ruff but I WAN in the end.
I've been up all night searching for Red Dog Melvin but my Spidey sense hasn't tingled once! Why's it so hard to find a criminal when you're looking for one?
dun dun dun
Can't let anyone see me enter this nondescript building!
Parafino: WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST STANDING OUT THERE LIKE A NERD. GET IN.
Red Dog Melvin: Sorry! I didn't fetch you a newspaper like ya wanted!
OFFICERS NEED COFFEE AND DONUTS BADLY
Parafino: Time to carve me some chocolate. Don't take a bite, Melvin, it'll kill you!
Parafino: There! That dessert pedestal has your name on it now! Just the bait I need to trap Spider-man!
Once I get him here I'll have Spider-man here to lure in the tourists and get some dosh cash!
And I intentionally omitted the hyphen and there's nothing he can do about it! Bwahahahaha!
Huh I've found a Yellow dog Martin, blue dog Clue, but no Melvin and yet my Spider-sense tingles around here...
Maybe it's warning me that I'm liable to catch or a cold or about some existential threat or maybe it broke again. I should get some sleep but first I'll obsessively check on the Daily Bugle.
Jameson: MISS BRANT WHERE IN GWYNEVERE 'S MASSIVE FAKE TITS IS PETER PARKER?
*YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWN* someone summoned me?
Betty: Oh, he's there making a better doorway than a window.
Jameson: I can SEE that. You women with all your useless chatter!
Fuck you, I was being funny.
Parker! I've been trying to reach you all night! Don't you teenagers spend any time on or near phones! I thought you kids were addicted to that stuff!
Night... sleep ..need... sleep. Good... night?
Mr. Jameson can I crash on your desk? I've always wanted to try that.
Hehe
Parker: But before that, any news on Red Dog Melvin?
Jameson: Plenty! He's been seen chasing cars and peeing on every fire hydrant and light pole on 42 street!
What?! Now I'm awake! Tell me more!
You know the rules, Parker, I yell at you to do things and you do them! Go to 42nd street and get me some pictures of that serial killer! Preferably waving or aiming his gun at you! ON THE DOUBLE
nice
Betty: Hmmm isn't this a coincidence..
Peter: A newspaper in a newspaper office? That doesn't sound so coincidental to me...
Betty: No IDIOT what's ON the paper
Betty: A life size wax model of Red Dog Melvin! Isn't that interesting?
Betty: And couples get in free and the reviews so it's the most ROMANTIC spot and it's right next to a love hotel with low hourly rates with complementary lube that comes in 31 flavors!
Peter: And it's on 42nd street! The wax museum!
I don't need to be told twice! Thanks Betty! I'm going there right now by myself! Bye! Thanks for the tip!
Betty: B-but muh subtle hints! Peter!
Peter: No time for chicks! I'm going to the museum!
No Black Snake Moan?
But I'll be going as SPIDER-MAN
I'm back here now but this time I'm actually paying attention! Some whisper in the wind is mentioning Black Snack Moan but that's silly, he's on 43rd street and that's like a whole block away.
What about Mad Dog McCree?
Spider sense is tingling for sure but from what? Are those vats for making Nerds candy?
WHALLOPING WEBSNAPPERS THERE HE IS!
Did he spot me? I'm sure he saw me! But what if he didn't? Better take another look just to make sure...
Stupid Spidey Stupid Stupid! That was just a model! I spooped myself over nothing!
MOM! COME LOOK! They mentioned my gag on Sup Forums! I'M FAMOUS!
Hmmmmm
While there's an admirable amount of effort put into this wax facsimile of Red Dog Melvin, there is a lot left to be desired.
The artist clearly has a fundamental understanding of anatomy, but not much beyond it. There are amateurish mistakes which the artist attempted to cover up with aesthetically interesting but unfortunately unnecessary details. The medium itself, while prepared correctly, is uneven in areas and overly glossy in others, throwing off the harmony of the overall piece.
Proportions are a little off, too, and hands are clearly this artist's weakness. Color choices are somewhat drab; local color works in some cases, but in others it pays to expand the color palate just a smidge.
Eh. 6/10.
You're way off base Spider-man. It is Red Dog Melvin. He really is that ugly.
In fact he's alive. In suspended animation due to being coated by a thin layer of wax, by me, Parfino, wax master of the WORLD
...
SIR, would you care to explain to the class the scientific principles behind suspending someone in animation with wax?
And who's he?! Your twin? The both of you look like the doc who birthed you yanked you out with salad tongs.
Parafino: Oh him in the corner? Merely a self-portrait. All artists love their own image.
Parafino: That's right Spider-man. Keep looking at me, not him. You, you're going to be my greatest masterpiece yet.
Whaaachaaa
Oh I see how it is. Very clever.
...
Two can play at this game! Let me just get my trusty webshooters handy and...
... damn.
Well played wax replica, man.
Can't break these waxy shackles! I'd wax poetic about prison and captivity but I got nuttin'!
...
Haa haa! You're going to have to clean up all these walls! Good luck!
Damn! Why do I ALWAYS TEMPT FATE
I should have anticipated him throwing to where I was going instead of where I was!
Ick! It's all over the shoes! Can't..... move!
Parafino: Look at you! You jumped onto your own pedestal! What an idiot!
Spider-man: You didn't have to rub it in...
Yes! Yes I do have to rub it in! I'll have to rub and caress wax all over you to make you part of my exhibit! Forever! Ahahahahahaha!
Oh shit it's my favorite time on Saturdays!
Bless you, SNS.
Also, if I want to audition for voice work for you, how should I go about it? Do i just do various lines for a character and send it? Any deadlines?
Jameson: I can SEE that Parker isn't here Miss Brant so I don't want to hear any snarky remarks about that! I want you to tell me WHERE that limp-wristed teenager is!
Sure, hit me up on my email, tell me which character you'd like to try voicing, provide me some samples and if I like what you do I'll give you the lines I have written and we'll go from there. If you can do multiple characters that's even better. This project is extremely short so most characters won't say very much. I'm trying to keep things simple before I bite off more than I can chew.
Last I heard he was keeping his virginity at Parafino's wax museum tracking down some lead about Red Dog Melvin or something.
Tracking down a lead? DAMNIT MISS BRANT, HE'S A PHOTOGRAPHER, NOT A REPORTER!
I sent him down, unarmed to take pictures of a violent felon with only his camera and child-like arms to protect him! Not to interview him! It's my job to make up the news, not his!
WELL WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? WHACKING DAY? GO GET HIM!
This is below my pay grade but I'll humor you this time old man.
Spider-man: Hey what are you doing? Making icing? Can I lick the bowl when you're done? Don't you have an electric mixer? Can we put on some music? Prince?
Hey stop ignoring me!
Soon you'll be immortal and we won't have to listen you any longer. You know, making wax is a lot like mixing oatmeal.
*Ding Dong*
WHAT? The doorbell? But business hours are over! But I left the front door unlocked!
Hey. Hey. You better go check it out. Might be something important like that package you were waiting on. I won't do try anything. Honest!
You're not going to try anything as long as you're stuck right there! Not even you can break free from WAX
Awww man I really have to take a shit.
My secretary senses are tingling! There's a mess to be cleaned up somewhere around here...
Betty: Ok so let's see what this wax museum is all about. The Hunchback of Notre Dam but sexy Frollo... , Frankseinstein's monster and a Cheetahman? That last monster doesn't belong in this world!
And on the right we have Death and Thanos hasn't heard of this place or else Death'd be covered in got glue...
The immortalized wax sculpture of Micheal Jackson's chimpanzee, Bubbles
Oh and Mystique! Not tired of seeing her everywhere I go! Not at all!
The museum is closed.
AHHHH! OF ALL THE TERRIBLE, AWFUL ANATOMICALLY INCORRECT WAX ABOMINATIONS IN THIS ROOM, THAT ONE IN THE DOOR IS THE WORST!
Parafino: Miss, I am going to pretend I didn't hear that. The museum won't be open until tomorrow.
Betty: I'm not here for the museum! I'm here for a lost Peter Parker! Have you seen him? Freelance photographer? Kind of attractive in a plain sort of way? Looks dense as a pile of bricks and won't understand any hints? About 90 pounds of wimp?
Superhuman Spider strength won't break these wax bonds but a low-watt bulb ought to do the trick
Aha! My arms are free but my feet are still not going anywhere!
Time to get creative! Time to make a web drill to pierce the heavens!
Great! It's in the wall! Hopefully it'll keep twisting and pull me free like a cork!
EAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH
Either this will work I just /diy/'d myself a medieval torture rack.
I just don't understand some men. You can throw yourself at them, drape yourself across their desks, sit spread-eagle on their favorite chair and they just won't give you the time of day! Peter is one of those men! Seriously! Look at this rocking bod and this sexy sassy short red hair and this Little Red Corvette #341 Lipstick by Maybelline! What is he not getting, what is he not noticing? What if I get gobbled up by a Rhino or pecked to death by a Vulture tomorrow, without getting an opportunity to lower my standards just enough to let him see some side-boob, or under-boob, or ALL boob? I've tried everything, EVERYTHING under the sun to all but shout at him "I AM AVAILABLE TAKE ME NOW, MAYBE IN FRONT OF JJJ" but nothing is cluing him in! Maybe I'm not giving off enough pheromones? Do you know where they sell pheromones? Would coming to work naked tomorrow be too much?
*sigh*
Listen, girlfriend.
You are a fine, strong, independent young woman who shouldn't be digging in the manager's special box when you deserve the Filet Mignon. When you cheapen yourself and lower your standards to the point of throwing yourself at your object of affection, you are only doing yourself and your ego a disservice. You're doing the entire female gender a disservice! Your self-respect should never come second to bagging the man of your dreams; if anything, the man of your dreams wouldn't even think about you putting yourself through all of this trouble just to get his attention! You owe it to yourself to be treated like an equal, because you, honey, are a smart and passionate woman who should be recognized and respected for those very things!
WHA--
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING
ARE YOU SAYING I DON'T RESPECT MYSELF, AND THAT'S WHY I'M TRYING TO GET THE ATTENTION OF SOMEONE I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE OR AT THE VERY LEAST FIVE MINUTES OF MY EVENING WITH?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT I'M JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM? ARE YOU SAYING I'M UGLY AND FAT AND THAT PETER IS LAUGHING AT MY ATTEMPTS TO WOO HIM? ARE YOU SAYING I'M NOT SEXY ENOUGH TO ATTRACT A MAN BY MY LOOKS ALONE, AND THAT I NEED STUPID SHIT LIKE INTELLIGENCE TO DO IT, TOO?
FUCK YOU. YOUR ADVICE IS NOTED AND DULY FORGOTTEN, SIR.
Parafino: Once again I am thankful for being gay and not having to deal with this women drama shit on a day-to-day basis.
Ok Woman, you're going to be waiting for... that ... guy forever!
Just a little more time and I'll be free! I owe that long-winded guest a solid for sure!
Parafino: HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU CAN'T GET OUT OF THAT WAX
Fuck your boring museum. I'm swingin' into action!
Betty: Spider-man! Make sure you hit the right ginger! We're hard to tell apart! I'm on your right!
Spider-man AAAaaaaAAAAAaaaaaaaAAAA
Reading bump
...
Parafino: Do you have glaucoma or something? I was over here. What are you even doing? ARE YOU NOT TAKING AN A-LISTER VILLAIN LIKE THE GREAT PARAFINO SERIOUSLY?
thanks
One false move Spider-man and I'll throw her into the hot wax! No one could survive a Brazilian wax of this magnitude!