How the fuck is this acceptable in a $60 million movie?

How the fuck is this acceptable in a $60 million movie?
youtube.com/watch?v=P_dsjmyze2U

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I don't know but it's all Idris Elba's fault!

hue

They gave Idris the part Mathew should have played because of diversity.
Fuck this movie and just move on.

That must've been internal sabotage. They had to record that extra inherently unusable footage.

I haven't even read the book and this was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I can only imagine how bad bookfags must have found it.

...

Wait why did that womans shirt change, also why did she become some guy

user

what was wrong with this movie?

Did they just hope nobody would notice?

that doesn't look comfortable

I thought it was on purpose as at the begining Matthew ask a rat guy to find a face, like they can change their appearance. That movie was so bad I didn't care.

He has to go to a surgeon to get that done and he doesn't do it at any other point in the movie, though.

>that bit where Abbey is pretending to have a man's voice
Cute!

My god what a clusterfuck
Glad i skipped this shit

youtube.com/watch?v=oYKCTY7gADc
>2017
>weighing over 100 pounds

How long will she live?

spooky

Afe the books actually good or just nostalgia? Are they as dumb as the movie?

They're somehow even dumber.

They're terrible after the fourth one and before that they're a mix of terrible and entertaining.

Complete shit besides the first book's first line (which is also spoken in the movie over a black screen 20 minutes in for absolutely no reason).

This feels like new Fantastic Four.
There's something beyond it just being shitty.

This is unironically one of the worst movies ever made.

Fantfourstic is really bad but maybe slightly better. The actors in DT are all far more likeable than Teller, though. Is there anyone who doesn't hate him?

If that's the case, expect it to reach cult status in 10 years.

>the part Mathew should have played
Fucking retard, Randall Flagg is literally Matthew McCognahuehue: the character

Doubtful. It's mostly just really, really boring. It will be clips like the video OP posted which highlight the worst moments.

youtube.com/watch?v=2VZtcLCgMqI
I watched it for Abbey.

abby sucked all that jew dick to be crossing her arms in the background

bravo abby

ellecuck detected

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why did she do that

First four are varying levels of good. Then the author took a really long break from the series and turned it into complete shit once he finally returned. "Highlights" of the later books include the characters meeting up with the author himself, the big bad crimson king everyone's afraid of being some random wacko just throwing grenades and the ending reseting the story back to the beginning of the first novel.

The smuggest.

Wait is there any context for this scene compared to the books? Is Flagg hooking Jake up to some kind of psychic breaker machine to bring down the Tower?

They're worth a read. They do eventually get ridiculous but most of the content that takes place in the post apocalyptic wild west future of Roland's world (where this entire movie should have taken place) is good.

That's exactly what Flagg is doing.

Calla Bryn Sturgis is a Hunger Games building that is literally the opening of the movie.
The opening of the dark tower movie is random teenagers being abducted by Flagg...

But those breaker machines only broke the links to the tower and it took decades for dozens of psychic children constantly using those machines to break one.

complete and utter garbage

the movie doesn't have time for that

I don't get it, what am I supposed to be seeing?

Women in red dress tying him to the machine suddenly turns into a man and then back to woman afterwards.

Huh. Sounds like it wouldn't be so bad if not for how futuristic that place looks.

they have stephen king in them as stephen king the writer. what the fuck do you think?

I didn't have such a problem with this. Many of his books reference each other, establishing a connected universe or multiverse or whatever, and the meeting their creator thing is in support of his crazy assertion that storytellers don't just create their stories out of thin air, the stories already exist and the teller just finds them and spreads them out for others to enjoy.

Is Stephen King a Gran Morrison fanboy now?

lol fuck off Chris Chan and your shitty excuses for self insert

That's what it comes down to isn't it, just
>Self insert is arrogant! Hey Ton' did you hear what I said, I said self inserting is arrogant!
Thoughtless.

I saw this yesterday and I'm still upset about it. I didn't enjoy it one bit. Never read anything by Stephen King, but I'm sure I don't enjoy his stuff now.
Just don't like his universe.

My interpretation of it is like any other film that starts with mental illness. Once you establish that the kid might be schizophrenic or something at the start, it throws any actual plot right out the fucking window. Everything that happened is just in a sick boy's head, and he probably is rotting away in a loony bin and imagining everything.

I would've been less upset if they gave an actual conclusion at the very end and showed the kid in a padded room rocking back and forth, or at the very least showing the cops finding out that he's the one that killed his mom and stepdad and ran away.

...

He's not schizo, it's all real m8

Idris Elba was literally the only good part of this shitshow of a movie.

>after the fourth one
You mean after the third? The fourth was that boring as fuck flash back episode.

>fire bullet in a straight line
>fire second bullet that ricochets off a column
>they arrive at the same point at the same time

????

>Idris Elba was literally the only good part
Really though? I found allot of his delivery was dead pan and uninspired, especially when talking like Roland would in the books. Almost like he thought it was stupid ass fuck and only saying it because he has to.

But most of how bad the movie was wasn't his fault at all. I mean they made Jake the main character, and Roland was some washed up old gunslinger who never even seemed to care about the tower till Jake showed up. But even then he only cared "because it's my job to protect the tower".

It just felt like a cheap cash in from the top down.

WE WUZ GUNSLINGERS N SHIEEET!

looks like Matty M was slowing down the trajectory of the first bullet

ahahahahahahahahaha

youtube.com/watch?v=JY5NSfGOlA8

I don't get it, what's wrong with the editing in that clip?

Sure am glad I skipped this. I'll wait for 5 years from now, when they follow the original plan and make it an HBO series, which they will, because HBO will have GoT hole theyre gonna need to fill

Look at the hands and costume of the woman.

lel

Book 4 came out...98ish? Then 5-7 were all done by '04. I wish there'd been a longer break.

I'AM A GREAT MAGICIAN

Listen man it's got 95 minutes, you put the kids in the brain cannon and shoot their brains at the tower and it breaks, OK?