Congratulations Sup Forums, you're the newest administrator of Arkham Asylum

Congratulations Sup Forums, you're the newest administrator of Arkham Asylum.

The quite halls act as an echo chamber to the sound of *BBBRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFTTTTTTT*

-You sigh as you realize this is your life now

Rape Joker
>Yes
>No

Kill Everyone there and make it seem like an accident.
Rebuild the place as a haunted attraction or a Supermarket/Department Store.

get everyone of the staff out for a company picnic, lock everything down, douse with gasoline and burn it all down.

user, what the hell is wrong with you?!

Buildings that old are probably made of stone, you've gotta make it a gas fire.

Lobotomies, lobotomies everywhere...

>Batman: Arkham Aisles when

Fire any potentially crooked or nefarious staff, evaluate the patients, send the ones that aren't actually mentally ill to big prison for big boys and big girls, then hire an interior decorator

>Welcome to your new mansion

>Welcome to our mansion

*sniiiiiffffff*

Throw Arkham into the phantom zone and be done with it.

buy stock for ANY company which produces and distributes any sort of sedative, anesthesia, or tranquilizer. we're going to be ALL about that from now on.

gonna keep the revolving door crazies so fucking zapped out of their mind on the stuff they'll be eating through tubes. you're welcome Gotham City.

Day 1: Personally take a large team of armed guards to each cell block and execute every single inmate.
Day 2: Be arrested and tried for abusing my power and unjustly executing prisoners.
Day 3: Watch Gotham's crime rate drop to zero as Batman only has to deal with common thugs now.
Future: Become a symbol of the sort of person who can make hard decisions that will improve the world. Get some streets named after me.
Distant Future: Lefties re-imagine history and paint me as a mass murdering psychopath. It becomes trendy to spit my name as a curse.

Still pretty good in my opinion.

...

>make it seem like an accident

why? appart from batman and his retarded obcession with not killing and the joker probably all of Gotham would hail you as a hero if you were to just bring a flamthrower/minigun on one of your patrols and just kill everything that moves inside the cells. if you really wanna though, you could just say you tripped and it fired on it's own.

All of Batman's rogues are certifiably insane though and suffer from real psychological disorders that you can identify if you know what to look for, Batman included

>I tripped and slaughtered an entire asylum full of inmates

>castrate joker
>yank his teeth out
>make him submit anus to killer croc daily for months
joker cured, guaranteed.

There is literally a revolving door here. Who had this installed?!

It happens!

kek

I'd raid wherever they happen to keep the villains' gear (seriously, villains always seem to escape suited up...) and then blow up the asylum with that.

i'm pretty sure if you dig deep enough something even more retarded must have happened irl. shit happens

besides, it's not like anyone would actually be mad, so long as you spare Eugene the tato and Larry the chair-man.

Oh, that snazzy front door add-on? Pay it no heed.

You should check out the mileage it gets though.

I could try and kill them all but that's predestined to fail and probably get killed by the inmates

I could try and cure/contain them but that's also fated to fail and will probably end with me dead

I dress up like a brimstone and hellfire style priest and try to purify this hellhole while screaming obscenities about the demons "possessing" the poor inmates and use some of Mad Hatter's tech to push people just a bit towards my version of crazy piety. I'll probably get thrown in the bin with the loonies and as long as the universal forces find me entertaining will survive.

Hire some DC super genius to turn Arkham into a hyper-dimensional portal that creates a bubble universe for each individual inmate.

Penguin's might be a huge, sprawling nightclub.

Poison Ivy would have a botanical garden free of human life.

The Joker would have an endless crime spree or, perhaps, an endless amount of Batmen to kill/fight.

Etc.

Any of them actually being cured is a pipe dream, so lock all of their asses up like Tai Lung in Kung Fu Panda.

I'm gonna buy some old classic padlock.
Best administrator ever!

So basically have all of your guards be unable to handle any escapees in combat and turn a blind eye to something minor that led them to escaping.

Yeah. Run things exactly the same.

I set them all free.
They'll all owe me one and at worse I'll just get put in jail too.
But having even one of them owe could be far more valuable than anything I would receive as administrator.
In fact, simply being assigned administrator would put my life at risk.

Time for ze aktion T4

I shoot myself.

Well, I currently work customer service job, so really, this would still be a step up, both in position and in the people I have to deal with.

Get rid of Mr. Freeze, Clayface, Poison Ivy, Riddler, Bane, Killer Croc, Black Mask, Scarecrow and a bunch of others. They don't qualify for the insanity defense and are a pain to deal with, send them to a real prison.

I think Mr. Freeze was just there because normal prisons don't have the facilities to keep him in the conditions he needs

Just send him to Belle Reve then.

Seeiously no one has said it yet?

Get them to bring in Ivy, Harley, and Magpie have them checked for STDs then give them personal full body cavity searches.

The only ones I would keep are Two-Face, Ventriloquist, Mr. Zsasz, Maxie Zeus, Harley Quinn and the Mad Hatter.
The Joker would be under serious review, because that fucker knows exactly what he's doing and no amount of therapy will ever make him change.

>Scarecrow
>Riddler
>Ivy
>Freeze

>not insane

My first order of business would be to strongly recommend to the DA a warrant for Batman's mandatory psych evaluation.

Transfer all the super criminals to Belle Reve, Waller can figure out how to deal with that shit. Then I'd shitpost on Sup Forums all day and not worry about Zsasz skining me alive in a riot.

Bane and Black Mask are the only ones that belong in Blackgate instead of Arkham

They're clearly not right in the head, but they don't qualify for the insanity defense. As such, as new administrator I would have an excuse to make them someone else's problem.

Islamic terrorists are insane. Do we send them to insane asylums?

there's no point in sending bits of a person to an insane asylum.

Get rid of anyone who wouldn't qualify as a super criminal, actively try to update the facility to care about getting the people back to some working order in their own lives. Hire some top tier doctors and social workers who really want to try to get people back to normal.

Treat it like an actual mental health facility, try to improve self-image issues. Clayface has shown he can be reasoned with if he can get his shit together. Killer Croc really just needs a good social worker who can help him cope with the world, because he's a product of his upbringing and of being seen as a freak; at least sometime. Get the Riddler some constructive help, have him work on making riddles for productive things like military algorithms or computer games he can make money on. Get Mr. Freeze bereavement counselling and explain the stages of grief to him. Remind everyone that who they were yesterday isn't who we'll be tomorrow.

Batman is not allowed on premises, he's a huge trigger for all of them and actively reminds them of their criminal ways rather than of the healing they need to take to move forward.

Prescribe actual medication rather than electro-shock.

Joker goes to prison, Harley goes to prison; they're not mentally ill enough to qualify for asylum treatment. They commit crimes because they want to, not because of a mental compelling or disorder that requires hospitalization.

Poison Ivy would really be the hardest to deal with given her circumstances. Maybe see about shipping her off to the Amazon or Oceania to just be at peace in the wilderness in some jungle. Gotta be one island in the south pacific we can throw her on that is uninhabited.

You are still thinking too small. I say give clayface parole if he transforms into my waifu and performs favors for me.

ecksdee

Would each piece need a separate cell? Or perhaps a set of bird cages for each terrorist?

When Batman brings the Joker back again, sedate the clown and shoot him in the head in private. Claim self-defense.

Do the same thing with Zsasz, his body count rivals the Joker's.

Instruct all guards to shoot without question when an escape attempt happens.
Instruct several loyal guards to shoot without question and then claim an escape attempt.

Oh, that goes without question. Same for Pyg, Mad Hatter and... shit most of the inmates. I'd have to get creative with the "accidents".

Yeah, no...

...

Evacuate the regular staff, lockdown the asylum...

Pump lethal concentrations of carbon monoxide into the asylum though the ventilation system ...

After an hour has passed, have teams outfitted in reinforced hazmat suits and equipped with chemical sprayers rigged to fire pressurized streams of carborane acid sweep the building...

...

I wouldn't even care if I get arrested for mass murder, all of the gruesome deaths i would have prevented by ending the careers of those psychopaths early would make it worth it...

...

Rape the Joker and make Batman watch

Not making Harley watch.

No, no, no! You're doing it all wrong! You have to get BATMAN to rape the Joker!

first order of business is that every 4 days we implement musical cells every time the music comes on everyone must switch rooms until the music stops

>Congratulations Sup Forums, you're the newest administrator of Arkham Asylum.
>I regret to inform you that I am not qualified to fulfill the duties given to me by my newly acquired position, and while honored, I cannot accept in good conscious the responsibility of rehabilitating the patients of this fine establishment, especially considering the severity of the conditions of the inmates. I will resign as soon as I trick some other sap into taking this job just like you tricked me you fucker.
>user.

>I didn't know it would burn them all
>I just wanted to show off my sweet new flamethrower at employee show and tell, an orderly must have bumped into me & shut it on as I was making my rounds to every patient in the building

More like Arkham Death Camp
>gas all the degenerates, if you can't gas them just shoot them and burn them
>Gotham is safer

My plan for Arkham is so simple, an idiot could have devised it.

BLOW IT ALL UP!

>lock every inmate up harder than the Tiger from Kung Fu Panda
>fire fucking everyone, close down the Asylum for good
>proceed to kill every single patient via gassing or simply burning the place to the ground, making sure they're locked up inside and there's nowhere to escape
>be known as the hero Gotham deserved while Batman inevitably hunts me for killing bad guys

Why is Jim so baked?

What if instead of killing them, you just leave them tetraplegic? I mean, Joker cannot press the nerve gas bomb detonator if you disable his hand forever. And Batman cannot retaliate since technically you are not killing them.
The only problem is if the sue me for money, but I'm poor so good luck with that.

Silly user, you don't just resign from Arkham.

It says here you were the site foreman during construction work, Mr... Kerr?

And that you were assisted by a former employee here, a Doctor Quinzel?

Why was a psychiatrist helping install a door, was the budget that bad back then? Oh, wait, apparently I can just go ask her as she is in D-wing, I guess if I'm quick I can get there before she escapes, says here her average is three hours, she just arrived...