Harry Potter

Can we have a decent Harry Potter thread that doesn't descend into anons fantasizing about being at Hogwarts and discussing the many ways they would have sex with girls by using magic? Pasta is welcomed, but can we for once just discuss the movies and the books and the lore without resorting to ghost blowjobs and Polyjuice antics?

I'll bite. What do you want to discuss?

shits garbage for brainlets

I wanna find the snitch in Pansy Parkinson's pusy!

what was her problem?

"No!"

>mfw Witch Trainer was a complete letdown

How could he go from something as good as Princess Trainer and completely fuck it all up.

D U L L E S T
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L
L
E
S
T

>played by Bonham-Carter
there you go

based

what the fuck is there even to discuss?

I remember when Sup Forums used to discuss how Harry Potter was and still is one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though r-right
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Obsessed with Voldemort to the extreme, she's basically a mirror image of Snape and his obsession with Lily.

I'm not a big fan of her work but this was perfect casting. When you want someone to play an unhinged and psychotic woman, you call Helena Bonham-Carter.

Why was this pasta applied to Harry Potter?

This will never be you and your friends

>When you want someone to play an unhinged and psychotic woman, you call Helena Bonham-Carter.
But I want to see someone play a mad person, not see her do her usual schtick and chew all the scenery for every second she appears on screen.
Her version of madness is basically a saturday cartoon one, all it needs is the funnel-hat and the sliding whistle music.

I don't want to grow up

Yea I'm that cool wizard with the pointy hat

Akabur is jewish
>oh god goys renpy is so hard I need to make a STOOOOOORYY

Harry Potter is a fundamentally Christian story. Harry is Christ like in the way he speaks the truth at the cost of his reputation and even physical harm (like when Umbridge tortured him and the newspapers called him a liar). He willingly sacrifices himself, without protest, in the name of good. Beyond that, its full of Christian Archetypes. Ginny is 'seduced' by Tom Riddle and so the Basilisk, just like Eve.

>I rate the prisoner of azkaban

I for one am looking forward to the Cursed Child movie.
The butthurt is going to be delicious.
Movie will be trash though.

What's your honest opinion on Fantastic Beasts? Did you enjoy it and are you looking forward to the sequels?
Did you absolutely hate it and refuse to indulge in the franchise in future?
Or did you think it was just okay/pretty good and you'll probably watch the others?

Sneeds feed and seed

It's from /lit/.

Harry saves Ginny (virgin) from the Basilisk, which is the dragon and Harry is Saint Peter. Dumbledore is God personified.

I'd black every white women at hogwarts.

>Anglos
>White

It was pretty meh.
The best parts are the one when nothing happens and you just get to see some weird creatures.
The plot was as boring as it gets and since they will keep following the whole Grindelwald thing, chances are it will keep on being lame just like how HP was most interesting when building a weird world full of weird wizards doing weird shit and the Voldemort plot only showed how little ideas Rowling had and how often she had tu resort to "it's magic I don't have to explain shit
Would have been better if it had been about Eddie Redmayne in a funny jacket actually trying to find weird creatures in weird places. But nope, it had to try and be dark and serious, sadly.

/lit/ apparently has trash taste.

he earns about 20 times the average wage in Russia through Patreon. Nigger got lazy as fuck

Will emma watson be in blackface? Or will she be forced to give her role up to a different actor?

no shit

u gon get blacked no matter what

based

TPOA is still better than every star wars film

she's turned black by a Wewus Kangus spell

She'll have to give her role to a black actor, obviously.
If you pay attention to the book, you will see that not only was Hermione black all along, she was also trans, which is why she was bullied.

>being at hotwarts
>not using polyjuice to become a girl and be sirius BLACKED

This. Her persona was over the top and just plain annoying. She came off as comical and not even deadly.

That's what Tonks did and look what happened to her
she became a boring character only here to tug at your heartstrings and add another death scene

>snakes symbolize evil
>snakes slither
>the evil house in Hogwarts is called Slytherin
BRAVO ROWLING

There it is.

*sharts in Hogwarts*

I liked the mix of light-hearted Eddie Redmayne chasing after and caring for his creatures, and the underlying darker plot of Grindelwald exploring the possibilities of Obscurials. If anything, I went into the film expecting a goofy comical adventure but was happy to see they're obviously building up to some bigger things.

>just like how HP was most interesting when building a weird world full of weird wizards doing weird shit
If you loved the world building the most, what's wrong with Fantastic Beasts? We got to see a whole lot of world building, like how the American wizards are slightly different, how their version of the Ministry works and looks like, things like the execution scene with the chair lowering into the magic water etc. FB added a lot of stuff to the world.
As for how the Grindelwald plot will turn out, we can only wait and see. We already know the outcome, but we're just now going to see how it all went down. He's already more interesting than Voldemort who just wanted to be immortal. Grindelwald and Dumbledore were old friends who planned on gathering the Deathly Hallows and subjugating the Muggles so that the wizards would rule and no longer live in the shadows. Dumbledore eventually stopped thinking like that as we know. There's also the fact that Grindelwald, Dumbledore and Aberforth had a duel which killed Dumbledore's sister who is very much implied to be an Obscurial, which is probably what got Grindelwald into investigating the possibilities of Obscurials. We'll wait and see, but I enjoyed the first one and am feeling positive about the next one.

Wasn't that basically Bellatrix's character in the book anyway? She had very little character to her other than idolizing Voldy and being evil and enjoying torturing and killing people, laughing as she did it. There wasn't much to play around with really. She was psychotic and murderous and that's what we got with Helena.

I almost had a heart attack dude. Don't just say stuff like that. The Cursed Child is not being made into a movie, thank fuck.

>If you loved the world building the most, what's wrong with Fantastic Beasts?
The fact that it didn't have much time to really explore anything, a lot of larger themes are brought up but are not explored (treatment of muggles, difference in function between the ministries, various forms of magic arround the world, etc). I didn't find the muriccan ministry very interesting (the fact that they are basically used as a punching bag for most of the film doesn't help).
But the good parts were, again, the few moments when you had time to just look arround and not have some nebulous plot that doesn't really have much impact on anything other than destroying the city in the end.
Like most of HP, I could see that ork a lot better in written form rather than in film, but heh, it's the current century so what can you do.

I agree that they could've gone into detail a bit more on the things we did get to see, but then HP didn't go into much detail either other than showing new locations and magic. It's never explained how floo powder works, but it's a great bit of world building as it shows a mode of transport wizards use. We never got an explanation on the Veil that caused Sirius to die either. Some things are best shown and not completely explained.

I also didn't find MACUSA that interesting, but we've got four films to go, and the next one is set in Paris and in the UK. It really looks like Rowling's using this spin-off series to expand her wizarding world slowly over the course of five films. We'll get to see what the French wizards/ministry is like, probably get to see Beauxbatons Academy etc. There's still a lot more to come.

>But the good parts were, again, the few moments when you had time to just look arround and not have some nebulous plot that doesn't really have much impact on anything
The evil plot didn't even take up that much time when all is accounted for. There's three scenes of Graves and Credence meeting in secret, and then there's the finale. It's all just build up for the sequels and I was glad it was in there, but also that it didn't take up too much of the focus. The characters and locations were the best bits.

Why are Harry Potter fans so retarded?

Glad I'm a Lord of the Rings man - a movie for the white male and unapologetically so.

the pasta has always been about harry potter you fucking newfag

as if Ravenclaw doesn't sound stupid. Atleast when i read it in Russian translation it sounded imaginative and better (Kogtevran) and at that time i had no idea that English sucked dick

the good ol days

I remember the first ever trolling was spoilng Snape kills dumbledore at barnes nobles

>We'll get to see what the French wizards/ministry is like, probably get to see Beauxbatons Academy etc.
oh fuck
I'm french and certainly not looking forward to that.
The all-girls flirtatious thing going on in the movie with Beaubatons was a solid packing of the most annoying french cliches, all it needed was the >white flag

What? Ravenclaw sounds awesome. Ravens are cool and so are claws. If any house deserves any shit about their name it's Hufflepuff.
In any case, they're all kinda stupid in the first place since they're not made up by the school, they were the actual last names of the four founders.
There were four people wandering about 1000 years ago who were actually called Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Gryffindor and Ravenclaw.

Did not have the charm and worldbuilding the HP had.
It rode the tailcoat of what HP established and it didn't feel like a HP movie. It was more a movie about people in america that happen to be wizards and the world is loosely related to HP.

I think they'll handle it differently this time. GoF was a really weird adaptation. In the book Beauxbatons brought boys as well as girls with them to participate in the tournament, and there wasn't anything in there that made the French students all flirty and beautiful and basically a stereotype.
The only thing that's implied is that their school is much more beautiful and modern than Hogwarts, because they keep complaining about having to stay at a castle lit by torches and that it's so cold in there.

I'm fairly certain Rowling doesn't want to go back to the way Beauxbatons and the French were portrayed in the film. And seeing as she's writing the script and has even more influence than she did with the HP films, I think we'll get to see France and it's wizarding community in a much better light, hopefully with a lot of extra world building.

meh. Give me modern day harry potter. Muggles are so far advanced than wizards who are basically still in the dark ages. Give me a gunfight vs a wand

Gryffindor doesn't sound like Lionhead or Bravelion and thats why its cool.
Slytherin doesn't sound like Snaketongue or Sleasysnake.
Hufflepuff doesn't sound like Badgerpaw or Steadybadger.
But Ravenclaw literally sounds like Raven + claw = ravenclaw. Thats retarded. If you can't make up words that don't sound just as two words that are put together with no change, then your language is shit. Or your idea of the word for a name is shit.

He isn't fucking Jesus, the self-sacrificing mesianic figure is an archetype as old as time.

Also their mascot is an eagle, not a raven. Was the house head autistic?

Rowling has already said the gun would win, silly dubs poster.

in Hungarian the houses' names are the following:
Griffendél for Griffindor
Mardekár for Slytherin
Hugrabug for Hufflepuff
Hollóhát for Ravenclaw

interetingly enough, it is again ravenclaw that's unimaginative: it translates to "back of the raven" of "ravenback" the others dont have any meanings they just sound appropriate for the houses

I don't trust bongs and burgers to make any sort of representation of France.
The book was equally as bad when it came to Beauxbatons.

>I don't trust bongs and burgers to make any sort of representation of France.
just copy and paste some shitty middle eastern country and it's accurate

I'd polyjuice myself into hermione and fingerbang myself all night long.

It's two reviews of the Harry Potter movies put together.

Good thing I don't trust Sup Forumsacks to accurately represent reality in the first place either.

Intresting. I wish people were putting the same efforts in translating pokemon names into every language. Would be fun to compare words.

Do you not have compound words in Russia? It's fairly common to put two words together to form a new meaning. Or is your problem simply that Ravenclaw as a word works on its own, and is the only one that doesn't sound completely made up?

I'm the opposite, I'd rather see wizards in history, how they lived, how they formed communities etc, or just seeing different countries and different magic schools. I want them to avoid the modern day precisely because Muggles have all this technology and weaponry that could wipe all wizards out in seconds, and it would take a very long-winded and convoluted premise or explanation to make a Muggle/wizard war in any way fair instead of an obvious instant win for the Muggles.

>fantasizing about being at Hogwarts and discussing the many ways they would have sex with girls by using magic

But that's just the HP fandom in a nutshell, just add the fantasizing about boys too.

>harry potter somehow isn't set in the 'modern day'

The movies are probably one of the shittest big budget adaptations of all time.

None of the charm of the source material and most actors, even great actors, are comically shit in it.

It's set in the 90s.

>implying Michael Gambon having no clue what he's talking about isn't half of the fun

Yes. Hungarian translations were always creative and catering for the audience in that regard. The HP books definitely wouldnt have spread if the translators were lazy.

>denial

>I know this thing you see every day better than you do even though I've never been anywhere near it in my entire life and my representation of it is mostly based on image collages I see on forums and alarmist "documentaries" on youtube based almost entirely on second-hand reports

>there were no guns in the 90's

There's a huge list of stereotypes about France, and especially the English seem to revel in them and laugh at the French.
>surrendering
>alcoholics (only wine though)
>smelly
>snobbish
>elitist
>rude to anyone who doesn't speak perfect French

I think Rowling did a pretty damn good job keeping herself from portraying the French like that in the books.

What's wrong with the Cursed Child book

I said, we have compound words, but we can change them in the process. Or we can find old words and mix them. Ravenclaw transformed into Kogtevran. Kogte part is changed from Kogot(claw). Vran is archaic word for raven, not used in modern Russian. It sounds similar to Ravenclaw when you know it, but i wouldn't guess ethymology of it when was a child. Translators put more thought into it than Rowling.

BASED

Writing and plot with the quality you would expect from fanfiction, not something that would make it to print, let alone being staged for audiences and tours.
Plus an oldie but a goodie :
>time travel resulting in
>alternate realities

>the Beauxbatons girls were not snobbish
It took Harry saving Fleur's little sister for her to not have a general disdain for british plebs.
Still, not as bad as the movie saying
>our friends from the north
>from Bulgaria
>10 parallels below Britain
made me chuckle

I always liked comparing the differences in the translations. In the Netherlands the houses were called:
>Griffoendor (basically just Gryffindor)
>Zwadderich (Slytherin, but done quite brilliantly. Zwadder means snake venom, as well as slimy, and unclean. Adding "ich" at the end makes it sound like a character trait, a way to describe someone. So Zwadderich basically means "having the quality of an unclean, vile, slimy, venomous personality")
>Huffelpuf (just dropped the "f" cause why not)
>Ravenklauw (a direct translation of Ravenclaw)

Interesting that Hungary changed Ravenclaw to Ravenback for some reason, but it still comes down to Ravenclaw being the odd one out just for being simple. Slytherin being Zwadderich was ab example of some nice punning and translating skills though. I'd say it stands out the most.

...

This user covered it.

Mostly, the book seems to have a retard-level understanding of the traits, themes and consistency that seemed to make the original series very enjoyable. Even with the consideration that it's a play and not a book, there are so many shitty choices in the writing that it's beyond forgivable.

...

this cant be fucking real

Fleur was a walking stereotype I agree. Being half-Veela made her beautiful to every boy who looked at her. She was very wary of the castle and the food and was an utter snobbish bitch. Just saying that Rowling did hold back. The average British writer would've given her an onion necklace and a beret.

As for
>our friends from the north
>from Bulgaria
What makes you think Durmstrang is in Bulgaria? It's implied to be in Scandinavia. Krum played for Bulgaria at the World Cup but that doesn't mean anything. He's a huge Quidditch star, Bulgaria could've bought him for their team, or Krum really is Bulgarian and went to school at Durmstrang in Scandinavia.

It's still impressive that even for a play it gets everything wrong about its own format. it's like it was written with the stupid idea that a play is some compromise between a film and a book.
You have the same sort of flashy effects you could find in a movie (I seriously pity the stage techie working on that and the actors who will have to interact with a background screen for what I understood) and the same sort of dialog pacing you'd have in a book. The stage notes are at points necessary to understand what happens and do not give indication on how to represent what they describe. You have too much dialog on superflulous parts while not showing important elements that could very well be staged.
It's really an impressive failure in so many ways.

Because they're still children

>What makes you think Durmstrang is in Bulgaria?
Because it is.
It's actually stated.
>Krum plays for the bulgarian team in the world cup
>his school shows up for the tournament
>IIRC the school is at several points mentionned being in Bulgaria in the book
Also the russian-ish sounding names like Karkarof really wouldn't fit Scandinavia.

It's what the Greeks and the Romans did before plumbing was a thing. They just shat and pissed while keeping the conversation going. Unlike wizards though, they didn't bother to "vanish the evidence".

All I have to do is fill the story with algerians and it'll be a very accurate representation of France.

No it really isn't.
Not every country has a school. Hundreds of students travel to other countries for their magical education (Draco's father wanted him to go to Durmstrang but his mum thought it was too far away).

>Krum plays for the bulgarian team in the world cup
So Krum is likely Bulgarian, if we assume Quidditch WC rules are the same as football rules.
>his school shows up for the tournament
Yes, but his school isn't from Bulgaria. There is no magic school in Bulgaria. Durmstrang is in Scandinavia.
>IIRC the school is at several points mentionned being in Bulgaria in the book
You recall incorrectly. In fact their headmaster Karkaroff is very secretive about Durmstrang's location, even going so far as to tell Krum to stop talking about the school to Hermione at the Yule Ball.
There are numerous mentions and implications though of Durmstrang being in a snowy, always icy location which is why their uniform is the way it is.

You ought to read the books again some time, it's still good fun. There's lots of stuff you'll have missed or forgotten, like the fact that it's common for young wizards to emigrate to the nearest school.

Karkaroff sounds more Russian or something, but then again Wizard names are ridiculous to begin with. The name Dumbledore doesn't scream Britishness or anything. Karky was probably from eastern Europe, yet for some reason worked with Voldy in the 80's in the UK, got caught, gave Death Eater evidence and somehow got the job of being headmaster or a school known for delighting in dark magic Bottom line is that Rowling confirmed Durmstrang is in Scandinavia

I guess it would make sense for the school teaching black magic to be in Sweden

Parts about the fantastic beasts: 7/10

Parts about Grindelwald and the evil child magic clouds: 3/10