Your popcorn & soda, sir. Anything else i can get you this evening?

Your popcorn & soda, sir. Anything else i can get you this evening?

Crabs legs, as many as you're allowed to sell me!

Yez, gibe wibe de benis!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D

a gf

Yes, I noticed a single man trying to purchase a ticket to the movie I'm seeing. Can you please do something about this.

Robert, we're you demoted?

When the penis inspector is super cute does that make you excited or more insecure?

2 bricks of 5.56 ammo please

a beer and a complimentary (female) viewing partner

No, you just did everything your job can do for me you dumb fucking nigger. you think i want candy? like i wouldnt sneak that shit in? fuck you nigger you're overdressed too fucking dirty monkey

this

A gun

Y-you too

>we're

>DO NOT speak to Robert like that, sir! Robert's been my manager for two months and he's the kindest manager I've ever had at this theater!

Where can I set down my Anvil?

SIR! YOU FORGOT YOUR COMPLEMENTARY POPPED KERNALS!

uh, I need another ticket for my gf, s-she'll be along in a minute

Lane?

uh im supposed to get a heaping helping of semen on this popcorn

Aye.

ROBERT LOOK OU-

>WHOA! ONE ticket to Blade Runner again for the third time? Loser. What's it feel like to never have known the love of a woman? Loser. Sad loser. Sad loser always alone watching movies. Sad. Interlinked.
>Haha. Just kiddin', sir. Here's your popcorn.

I kek cause I know you cunts wouldn't say nigger irl to a black man's face.

ah, some peanut M&M's I guess. pretty good theatre food tho the soda would be water.

>Implying we leave the house

That boy on your right slapped my girlfriends ass when we went to get our tickets checked. What are you going to do to make sure this type of thing never happens again, Robert?

>tfw you actually went to see it twice on consecutive nights and the same girl sold you your ticket

>when you see him at the theater but he's not working he's there to see a movie

ROB NO

Begone, Satan.

LE BASED BLACK MAN
YAYYYYYYYYY REDDIT... i mean "Sup Forums"

Newfag

>we need a cleanup at front desk, cleanup at front desk

i mean, i wouldnt say half the shit i say here irl

>nigger robert
>old
wew newfriend

He's a meme for years now so you better go back.

>Anonymous

>Try to sneak in as a single
>Get through the showers without getting wet or raped
>This happens

BASED OBAMA VOTER TELLING THAT DRUMPFT OLDFAG OFF

>tfw someone took all the qt viewing partners and all thats left is fat soccer moms and ugly titty monsters

Robert, your finest titty monster with the handjob special, make it quick this is the last showing of Blade Runner tonight

...

I'm not even american you retarded landwhale.

Robert clean this shit up right now! R-Robert...?

Robert stand up when the national anthem is playing!

>wew

You truly are new

OOOOOOHHHHH SHIIIIIT

call amberlamps

F

R-Robert?

These memes are the reason I'm glad I'm still working in theaters
>Been working in movie theater for 6 years
> All my years there there's been this kid who just watches movies every weekend
>Looks like he's poor and always wears baggy pants and has bad complexion
>Every week when a movie's hype dies down he'd come watch it
>Very quiet, doesn't have footsteps when he walks around
>Very quiet when he talked
>We called him "Mutey"
>He get small popcorn and and random soda everytime in routine
>He was IN, he knew about Robert and falcon perches
>He'd come up and ask quietly "Is Robert here? I wanted some lobster today" or "I forgot my falcon at home, Can I get a rental?"
> Been really chill guy and is basically a vip here
>Manager knows him because he always sees us chatting with him after a movie
>He'd sit down and just wait for the credits to be over to be respectful for everyone who made the film
>A few months ago he started growing his hair out like the actors do
>He looks even worse, like full virgin
>Doesn't make him look too presentable
>Recently in the last month we've been getting random complaints about people who act suspicious
>We're trying to get down on this, we have to start having security standing on the edges of theaters during movies
>One day we get a report that "some guy here is making someone uncomfortable"
>It's Mutey

>go to see the dark knight
>pay extra for large soda and large pop corn cuz free refills
>nigger kid charges me for larges
>gives me mediums
>didn't realize because sizes always changing and they looked big enough
>afterwards go for my refill at end of movie
>girl says no because it's medium sizes
>freak out and say the black kid gave me the wrong one sizes and I paid for large (I paid like $15)
>rage and throw my melted ice water into the girls face and the rest of the pop corn
>banned from theatre

(cont)
>Security is holding him at the entrance
>There's some lady who keeps bad mouthing Mutey out loud
>She keeps trying to slap him while security pushes her away each time
>Security looks like he's there to protect him rather than her
>We walk up with the manager and ask what's going on
>Lady looks like a tweaker
>She's squawking again
>"TThisss man iss creeping here, check him he'ss got a gun like thosssse shooterss"
>We look at Mutey
>We know it's not him
>We know she must be the one putting in complaints
>Shes squawking how she wants free gifts cards for saving the theater
>Manager and me both look at each other and security
>We are all able to understand that she's a nut that
>Manager taps me and security to take Mutey to the break room
>He'll deal with crazy
>"We thank you miss for your cooperation, just come with us to the office and we'll help set you up with a VIP pass"
>She walks with him like she's some about to receive a medal or someshit
>We talk to Mutey about it and ask him.if he's fine
>We dust him off and apologize for the crazy lady
>We give him a movie preview card and a 20 movie voucher
>He's speaks
>"I-I thought you put a no-singles policy in overnight"
>Security looks confused
>Tell him its all okay
>Meanwhile manager takes her photo and kicks her out
>Dumbass thought the mugshot was for some movie pass
>She's banned
>Surprise surprise, we no longer have those random complaints since then
>Mutey no longer has to rent a falcon

Now, Everyday i go to work I see her smug face in the banned list thinking about how this was Mutey's big break for the talkies

Wow, not f*cking cool dude.

Robert is /ourguy/.

Here alone? ...again?


I humbly beg your pardon if I am overstepping my bounds. I don't mean to insult nor do I mean to pry, but don't you get lonely? I see many people walk through these halls day after day but none have so interested me as you do. You avert your gaze to the floor under my attention as if embarrassed or ashamed to inhabit a human body. You stutter and mumble as if this routine transaction is a strenuous ordeal. I see a pain in your countenance sir, you try to hide it under a stoic demeanor, but it is as clear to me as day. What has you in such a state sir? Why does the contentedness that others find so naturally elude you? Who made you like this?


I...I'm sorry if what I said was out of line sir. Enjoy the movie...

=)

Wow...he's fast!

A noose, nigger boy

what the h e double hockey sticks is your issue, man
he does not indeed deserve that from you, sir