That time Hank bought crack on the street and used it as fish bait

>that time Hank bought crack on the street and used it as fish bait

>the drug dealer starts calling it bait

>judge applies common sense to the case solely because Hank is an ordinary white man
>Hank experiences no repercussions

baka @ white privilege

So why did the fish stop wanting the crack?

>$20 will get you all the bait you need Jack, rock on!

>that time when Hank's hatred for his wife was so powerful that it manifested a tornado to kill her

>that time when Hank quickly had second thoughts and tried to stop the tornado from killing his wife, the tornado got pissed off and tore off all of Hank's clothes in the process

They got used to it. Hank was caught trying to buy stronger stuff to keep them interested.

...

>that time Hank maliciously flooded Arlen, destroying dozens of homes and businesses

>That time Hank decided to handle sexual harassment in the workplace by having the guy get raped by a dolphin

>that time Hanks butt boobies blew out during the big lawn mower race

>it's another "Bill chases the high of making people smile" episode

Don't we all do that? Our jokes getting worse and worse, desperately trying to impress your friends, until you've creeped them all out, burned all your bridges, and are left completely alone?

This episode was so great but I don't understand why Hank couldn't just say "just, pick a different lake. any other lake, this will work."
or why it kept going after they discovered dale's subterfuge...
or why it worked in the end even though hank clearly swapped out a worm, thus cheating.
i think you mean castrated cleancut privilege. those of us with evidence of puberty get discriminated against hardcore even now. how dare we resemble how god intended us to look! we should be following inane regulations forced on us by literally nobody

I've been thinking about this episode a lot lately. Mostly because someone I know accidentally smoked crack not too long ago.

I love how in the end he accomplished nothing by showing up. It was completely symbolic.

hey did you ever notice weird continuity shit like.. that episode with the guy voiced by brendan fraser, his mom was actually in an episode way back in season 2, as hank's insurance agent basically explaining why car insurance is a massive scam but it's the law so you're fucked... and hank mispronounced the name written on her nameplate, but that became their canon name when she and her son appeared later
similarly hank referred to gniewko lubecki's family as 'the gniewkos' and it felt like a writing mistake rather than hank's mistake. I wonder if they were too reluctant to correct mike judge because he was the boss

oh god I've been there. not since childhood, but..
it's bizarre to me how my entire internet friend group from my teens, all of us lonely shut-ins with no social life, became massive horrible drug addicts and now they look down on me for not 'moving on' from using tv and videogames as my high.

>white privilege
nigga where do you think you are

I never noticed before Maria Montalvo grabs Hank's butt at the end of that episode

nice theory, but secondary sexual characteristics aren't discriminated against -- being a slob in. i'm sure your disgusting mayonnaise-slathered beard is only one of the many reasons why parents not-so-discreetly shuffle their children away from you at the bus stop

>in an episode way back in season 2, as hank's insurance agent basically explaining why car insurance is a massive scam but it's the law so you're fucked
I'm watching the series through for the first time as we speak, and I don't remember that at all.

Not his underwear though.

>That's a clean-burnin' Hell, I'll tell yhu wut
>Ahuhuhe ahuhuhe
Is Hank Hill a One Piece villain?

He flooded ONE STREET, and all the people were evacuated. If hank didn't release the flood gates the dam would have burst and all of south Arlen would have been destroyed. The only reason that Hank had to make that decision in first place was because the guy who's job it was wasn't strong enough to make tough decisions so he flaked out, so if Hank didn't show up in the first place a large majority of the town would have been destroyed in the first place, they're lucky to have him around.

it was Traffic Jam. go watch it again, she shows up pretty early, right after kahn hits hank's car.

I love the first two seasons but in season 3 I'm noticing less jokes and more worthless-generic-sitcom-plotline shit. And there's still 10 more seasons to go. Do I keep watching or move on?

I fucking hate this episode. Hank literally had to pick the lesser of two evils to keep the whole town from flooding. This episode made me lose all sympathy for Bill.

yes it did, it got-

Looks like we got someone defending the Arlen Flooder.

I bet you liked it when he blew up the MegaLo Mart and the car lot too, didn't you?

Yeah, it picks up

NOT. his underwear.

Oh! The one with that washed up black comedian.

The one with Chris Rock, where Bobby gets indoctrinated by Sup Forums.

>it's a "we're supposed to feel sorry for John Redcorn when he's a giant piece of shit" episode
John Redcorn's only good moment in the ENTIRE show is when he catches Joseph's arrow

>That time when Hank viscously fucked peggy after her own baptism

Keep watching. I will warn you, though: there's an episode down the line where Lane gets married for real. It was suppose to be the series finale, but it got renewed. All the episodes after that take a major dive in quality except for a handful of really good episodes.

I didn't pick up on that the first time either, i love how much depth there is in this show. Bobby's like "wow, and now you teach traffic school!" all amazed, because that means he gets to meet him.. and he's like "yeah.. now i teach traffic school" utterly defeated.
what's sad is his new routine WAS funny
>I'm so white, during the riots I went out and BOUGHT a television
it was just too clever for texans

>you are now realizing that there are a lot of episodes where Hank gives Peggy a creampie

It is a real shame how that started out as a fantastic running gag but as the show became more serious, they couldn't just let a character like nancy be actively engaging in adultery and get away with it narratively. her getting back with Dale was clunky, but it was still handled well

i liked when he and dale became friends in taking down the government

God damn it, we have no concrete evidence that this upstanding family man did anything to the MegaLo Mart, in fact we have evidence that there were at least three other disgruntled employees working during the explosion. As for the car lot not only were there two other black hooded suspects seen fleeing the scene of the crime, but Mr. Hank Hill was found innocent in a court of law.

>That time when Peggy kidnapped a small Mexican child

That was an amazing episode.

>I am very pregnant because of what happened with Lupe

Cotton is a way worse character than Peggy, his only good parts are his interactions with Bobby

>hank
>able to give a proper creampie

you can only pick one

The problem was that he was telling it to the wrong audience.

My lord, there ARE a lot of episodes where Hank intentionally tries to inseminate Peggy.

And then you get those days where, naturally, you just aren't as funny as you were, say, a month ago and the gut-wrenching fear of one day losing the only thing that makes you a remotely remarkable person drives you mad.

He can cum, there's just not much of a sperm count. He absolutely came inside of Peggy during the birthday party episode and most likely during the episode when they try to get pregnant.

that felt like flanderization, but having gone back to the early seasons, her spanish was even worse
>Bethany it does not matter if your avoKEdos are hard. Life is hard. you cannot make authentic quake-a-mole out of lima beans and ritz crackers
>ugh, these people. gringos
>would you please tell boomhauer swiss cheese is not mehican. it is american. i want him to bring some monterrrrey hack

Did she really say that? I remember her Spanish being okay in early seasons.

isn't it more the other way around? his testes, his glands, they're all fine, but his urethra is so narrow it can't come out properly. By the time it does come out, the sperm are all dead. that's why he got a low sperm count on the test.
they even said it takes him several minutes to pee, that's how narrow the sucker is.

That's why you keep your mouth shut until you know you have a winner.

Better to be quiet and hilarious every time you talk than loud and only hilarious 10% of the time you talk.

He's also got extreme anxiety about anything to do with sex/genitals.

King of the Ant Hill
it might have been inconsistent writing.
what I like is that peggy is consistently badass. That time when she hears an intruder, overturns a chair, and effortlessly breaks off its leg to use as a club.

yeah but I don't think that applies to peggy. as long as nobody else is around. he gets turned on at the drop of a hat while they're in the bedroom just talking about this or that

But they also make it clear that, when he's totally relaxed, that urethra opens up nice and wide.

what? no, that was a theory he had once, that ladybird had relaxed him enough to have bobby.. but nothing ever backed that up
why didn't the damn judge give him a drug test?

But it always sounds like a zinger in my head.

>you're now realizing the Peggy either jerked hum off or gave him a quickie to get that sample.

There's no way Hank Rutherford Hill, Assistant Manager of Strickland Propane could bring himself to masturbate.

It's a learned ability. You've got to know who you're talking to and what you sound like.

I'm probably talking from a position of too much experience because I was an amateur comedian for bit, so I actually studied comedy in depth, and its been part of my mindset for so long I've forgotten how to approach it as an amateur. If you put in the work yourself it's actually surprisingly easy to learn.

>Mr. Hill, perhaps you'd be more comfortable trying this at home?
>No.
>Would you like a magazine?
>...Okay. Do you have Popular Mechanics?
>Mrs. Hill, what did you tell him exactly?

how the shit do you improvise? whether comedy or social shit or just doing auditions, I never know how to improvise anything. I have to sit and think and plan, and when I do, I'm funny as hell... but people don't give you that time.

If Texans are dumb but have one of the best states in the union and you presumably live in a worse state, what does that make you? Retarded? Subhuman?

it's out of your piss in 2-3 days, blood and saliva 48 hours or less. besides, you don't have to be high to break a possession law.

>because Hank has a healthy reputation in a relatively small community

there's more to life than cleverness. that's what KotH is about. don't claim attributes you don't have just because they're tied to self-esteem in some people.

See improvising is easy for me, I just blurt out whatever I think is funny in that situation. But around 80% of the time it's barely passable to OK 10%to 15% it's completely dead, cringey, or plain too insulting to my friends, but there's that 5% to 10% it's pure gold that I keep chasing.

Improvising is fifty percent luck and fifty percent knowing your audience. If you know your friends well enough you can guess what's going to happen next and plan how you'll react to it. Improv is really unreliable though, and it's not actually the hallmark of a consistent comedian -it's nice when it happens, but if you're constantly relying on dropping a reactive one-liner, you're not going to get to tell a joke very often.

The better part of conversational comedy is setting yourself up for a joke. Bring up a normal conversation that you've prepared a bit for, talk it out normally, strike if you get the opportunity. If you never get the chance, you've still managed a decent conversation and you can try again on the next topic.

nevertheless this is a judge who wanted to believe hank's story, and who plays by his own rules.
I didn't realize crack was out of you that quickly though.

>wavy hair is considered intrinsically unkempt, dirty
>ludicrously underrepresented in media, white people never having it, black men encouraged to remove it all, women to wear straight wigs
there's racism going on here but not the kind you're thinking of

>I read it in his voice

Why couldn't it be Peggy having all her clothes blown off then left their naked and embarrassed.

>how dare we resemble how god intended us to look! we should be following inane regulations forced on us by literally nobody
take a shower you hippy

Please, we know what kind of person Hank is. Several witnesses can confirm that she threatened a federal employee at the DMV for refusing her insane demands to be listed as a male on her driver's license.

why not Luanne?
you realize it'll be you next, right? you can't stay on these people's good side forever.

>why not Luanne?

Peggy would be more embarrassed and ashamed of the situation also i prefer Peggy.

>Have a foot fetish
>The Peggy episode makes me very uncomfortable

people lump both of the two VERY different types of foot fetish together, I wish they wouldn't.
as Hank quite accurately puts it, the ones interested in peggy were the kind who hate feet and to some extent hate themselves.. they like looking at ugliness.
there IS a kind that likes looking at pretty things. they.. (er, we) wouldn't like peggy's

Woah.

you know you would

>Best state in the union
>Literally holds the record for threats of secession

>Texan government higher ups literally called for the deaths of a President, DA, and actually attacked his VP when he visited
>Had to pull a 180 and pretend they never said it and acted like they were the people who grieved most when he was then killed in Dallas

Texas is a shit.

you basically just mentioned what's awesome about them. christ, user, it's not hard to come up with actual negatives.

Yeah, but I'm not a married man with a kid, I'm a horny 21 year old with a penis.

>feeling Buck's crusty sperm drip out when I fuck her

No Thanks.

>that episode where two guys made a GTA clone with online multiplayer in two days

maybe it was just a mod

>has a killcode in it that erases the game off of other people's computers.

You guys are kind of ignoring the most obvious explanation: Hank was only TOLD it did that.
and he was TOLD it was a game they were making, rather than a mod, which it obviously was. because how would he know the difference?
honestly the whole thing could have been solved more easily by just corrupting one of his files or something, he'd never understand how to reinstall it or even that he could.

>that episode where Hank was going to smuggle a bomb onto a plane

bill was playing the game and his shut down too

huh. uhh.. well i guess it shut down the server...

>This episode had the second or third version of Peggy's mom.
>The weird limbo that Luanne's parents are in for most of the series
What's with the Platter family having such inconsistent writing?

there other girls thats better

I think it's a pretty popular thing to shit on PEgy's character and write her off as the most annoying character in the show, but I've always enjoyed her characterisation. Both the humour derived from her being a know-nothing know-it-all and the times where she's genuinely a loving wife and a doting mother. And, of course, a gung-ho badass.

one of the best Hank reactions I've seen in years, thank you. a very rare smug Hank

Some of it might be bad memory, but in the end you really can't get out of it without a few retcons. Biggest one I can think of is Peggy saying she never even kissed a boy til she was 20, and now that guy's dead. It was not in a context where she would lie.
Honestly the retcons are easy enough to swallow, it weirdly gives KotH more live-action-sitcom legitimacy. Y'know because animation doesn't usually have to change faces when they change actors, but characters like rarely-appearing parents are the most likely to change.
What really bugs me is character derailleur. now Luanne's okay, I'm fine with what happened to her more or less, but when they basically decided Bobby couldn't keep growing up because they liked Pammy too much (can't blame them), did they have to suddenly make him a shitty brat?
and Hank's mom leaving that hilarious and awesome jewish guy just so they could give her another celebrity guest star boyfriend in an utterly nonsensical plot whose moral seems to be 'eh just let your mom run wild and kill herself'. that hit me right in the kishkes i tell you what.

"Best" by what metrics exactly?

it waxes and wanes
i remember when her chute didnt open, about that time we were sick of her and hoped she'd die. malcolm in the middle was giving me kind of a low opinion of sitcom moms at the time.. but in the end she was amusing even then. Really in the end I think I enjoy peggy.
I just fucking hate kathy najimy