Just got back from the new Thor movie. I'm sorry to say it's a steaming pile of shit

Just got back from the new Thor movie. I'm sorry to say it's a steaming pile of shit.
What I liked
>Some of the jokes
>Chris Hemsworth's inspirational body
>Some of the jokes, mainly by the thing voiced by Jango Fett

What I didn't like
>about 95% of the jokes were not funny in the least
>some of the jokes were actually uncomfortable and tonally pretty weird
>This woman's character Valkerie is really annoying and also completely pointless
>Karl Urban's character who was completely pointless and didn't meed to be in the film at all
>Weird Cameos from Matt Damon, Benedict Cumberbatch, Sam Neill and Anthony Hopkins, all have only a couple minutes of screen time even though Anthony Hopkins is an important-ish character
>The cgi is fucking horrendous, seriously looked like a PS3 game no exaggeration, worse CGI than avatar in some scenes, reminded me of Batman Arkham Asylum the videogame.
>weak villain
>predictable as hell but it is a Marvel movie so whatever
>Fairly boring action
>complete and total lack of attractive women in the whole film, they even managed to make Cate Blanchette look ugly

Any questions about it?

>DCucks are getting so desperate they just make up lies
pathetic

How meme-tier is it? How much like GotG does it try to be?

I've also seen it. Pretty spot-on summary, it's trash.

I'm telling the truth, and I'm not really keen on DC movies to be honest

There is an ebin 80's nostalia synth soundtrack in a few scenes, Jeff Goldblum acts really weird I think it was pretty memeish on his account, and Led Zepplin immigrant song kicks in twice in the movie. Overall not much like GotG

It's what they do

That and harass and send death threats to critics and people who tell them how long their shitty movie is

did you compile this from an IGN review with a helping dose of bullshit?

>even managed to make Cate Blanchette look ugly
Literally impossible. kys wb shill

Actually I work at a cinema and we get staff showings where we get to watch films a few days before release.

Her hips look pretty tasty i have to say, but her make up is pretty distracting and overdone, and she looks pretty old, she's usually a straight 10 for me

>I saw a movie that doesn't even come out anywhere on the planet yet for a week

DC kiddies are pathetic. Fucking cancer.

November is more than a few days away you baiting faggot.

Comes out on Friday in England, boss :^)

>Pakistan
Opinion discarded.

Which is almost a full week away, friendo.

>Matt Damon
Wait, really?

>odin screentime is the same as a matt damon cameo
fuck this

also seems most of the jokes is "haha thor is dumb" and shit like the ship recognizing banner but not him

Are you really being this dumb and falling for the shittiest of bait?

i thought it could be bullshit but damon has a cameo as an actor playing Loki in Asgard

is valkyrie's plot really just "come help me fight" and she does boring cgi action shit? nothing else?

He's an asgardian actor playing Loki in a theatre production, it was pretty cool because I was not expecting Matt Damon at all but then the camera spends like a minute second close up on him as he talks so the whole audience knows its matt damon :)))

Thor being dumb is a few jokes but its not really that bad, hes not a caricature, most of the jokes are people falling down or getting punched or Banter quips. Thor is in a chain and a bad guy is talking to him (honestly cant remember bad guys name) but thor slowly spins round on the chain so interrupts the bad guy like "lol wait a minute buddy let me swing back around slowly so you can finish talking" (paraphrasing).
But yeah Odin has like 3 mins of screen time then dies and tunrs into a cloud of gold dust. He only reappears in a 30 second vision to Thor near the end

She captures thor when he gets stranded on this alien planet junkyard and I thought that would be the end of her but she just keeps... reappearing. She's an annoying alcoholic without much characterisation or reason to like her. She decides to help thor after little persuasion to kill Cate Blanchette because she wants revenge, but all she does in the final showdown is kill some cannonfodder zombie enemies. She doesn't even have any good quips, you could remove her from the film and it wouldn't change

holy fuck that sounds boring

is idris elba in it a lot?

I'd say he has about 4 minutes of screentime. He mostly leads asgardian civilians around the woods running from Cate Blanchette, she's looking for him because she wants his magic sword. No quips, doesn't really do anything cool which is annoying because memes aside I like Idris

>Chris Hemsworth's inspirational body

That's not gay in the slightest.

No homo but from a /fit/ perspective I was mirin hard. Dude is a big guy 4u

Well I saw JustShit League, Disney gave me a ticket because I raped Zack Snyder's dead daughter.

goddamn, this seems generic as hell.

Is Loki as perfunctory as valkyrie?

Did they ever explain how Loki replaced Odin as King of Asgard from the end of the 2nd Thor movie? Like how did Odin not see through Loki's disguise, and not destroy him? Or is that never answered?

ummmmm sorry sweetie but this already has 900% on rotten tomatoes with 87/10 score

Loki is the same schemer as he always is, Thor even references this in a joke saying how he's never changing but it just makes it obvious how his character has gone nowhere in 10 years. At the end though he helps in the final battle snd him and Thor seem to be friends again. Thor says he wants to give him a hug but the scene ends abruptly before this happens, don't know why, would have been the most emotional part of the film probably. Loki is alright in this

I'll be honest I haven't seen thor 2 since it was in cinemas. The first 20 minutes of this kinda went over my head because i feel like you need to know all the ins and outs of the whole MCU. But I don't remember an explicit explanation. Just that Loki Banished Odin to Earth?

>but it just makes it obvious how his character has gone nowhere in 10 years
waste of a good actor

did the asian bro died?

The only asian guy I remember seeing in the film got impaled by Cate Blanchette. I think his death was meant to be funny the way he dies so quick and his body flops but honestly I thought it was pretty brutal

didnt he stayed with his family and people in the beginning of 2?

Thanks for responding back, but was the asian guy this one?

yeah, I think so, but I saw a rumor that he might get killed by Cate Blanchett character because she was wearing a cloak or armor that was similar to his

Saved me a ticket purchase. I'll watch it when it's on home media. I really appreciate it, user.

No, but that guy in your pic died the same way. :( So did this guy at the same time

You'd do the same for me senpai

...

goddamn, Thor's father and all his friends die and he's just the goofy nigga from the trailer and clips?

>Banner, you're embarassing me in front of these people, i told them you're my friend!

great decision to turn Thor into a 70s woody allen/ peter sellers fool

Yeah Thor doesn't really get emotional in this movie. When he's supposed to be sad he's just stoic or kind of angry and literally the entire rest of the time he's a goofy lovable high school jock. He loses his eye which you think would be a big deal but neither him nor anyone else cares and just quips. Kind of takes away from impact of it

>Yeah Thor doesn't really get emotional in this movie
that I could get bc he's a big burly manly blabla, but holy fuck these movies are inhuman vaccuum sealed quip shit with only emotional detachement and ironic distancing as its core emotion

Spoil the after credits scene for us

This guy is pure comic relief but he's still good. Also there's this weird scene towards the end of the film that completely becomes a Wes Anderson movie which I wasn't expecting. Like they've got the symmetrical character speaking into the lens and Bruce Banner is acting like a quirky Jew. Bizarre

I though GotG 2 was pretty emotional is a few scenes but the thor movies are a bit sterile I feel

I am pretty sure that is all wrong.

The mid credit scene:
All our heros on a space ship headed back to Earth because asgard has been destroyed when a huge Mustache shaped space ship appears in front of them and ominous music plays. I assume Thanos' ship.

After credits scene:
Jeff Goldblum is surrounded by his former slaves who escaped and want to kill him. He quips autistically. They stare at him. Roll on snare drum.

>a Wes Anderson movie which I wasn't expecting. Like they've got the symmetrical character speaking into the lens and Bruce Banner is acting like a quirky Jew. Bizarre
that was to be expected from this director when working with Goldblum and Blanchett, you had to do a nod

unfortunately it should have been more of that (and Odin as the wes anderson patriarch)

>actually falling for the "I saw the movie early" bait
>/thread

test me nigga

you're right, none of this happens.

Thor 3 is actually the first emotionally rich marvel movie.

DKEKS GETTING BLASTED BEYOND REPAIR

BTFO
T
F
O

>capeshit is so bad people go with the lowest of expectations that a perfunctory plot and characters is just fine

>DCuck being this mad
LMAO
M
A
O

who gives a shit about your company war for which jew gets more money? they're both gay

How fucking low do you think expectations were for BvS?

>Rihanna

wow. fucking kill yourselves, marvel fanboys.

it's the difference between having a character like titcow in 2 (fine, whatever, what did u expect) and a incoherent badly acted mess like Luthor

both shit

Your strawman doesn't just mean people have seen the movie you retard.

>test me on a movie nobody has seen

Being this delusional

Thats pretty foul but i expect nothing leas from you pajeet

>I'll be honest I haven't seen thor 2 since it was in cinemas.

Loki (disguised as a guard) tricks Odin in the 2nd movie to follow him to some unknown place thinking someone was injured. Later, Loki is now disguised as Odin at the end of Thor 2. No explanation given.

>Just that Loki Banished Odin to Earth?

Damn I'm disappointed they glossed over this.. Odin is supposed to be this all-powerful badass. I thought it might be that Loki led Odin to an ambush or something and they killed him.

I just saw it too and it was.. bad, bordering meh-subpar.

Honestly perplexed as to why people watch these kind of shit.

OP here, going to bed. I have been truthful with you Sup Forums you will see when the movie comes out.
Overall I give Thor Ragnarok a 2/5. Probably the best Thor movie which isn't saying much, better than ultron and antman, worse that GotG and Iron Man 1 obviously.
Worth noting the last 2 films I've seen in the cinema besides this were Dunkirk and Blade Runner, my expectations were quite high because of the high RT score, and through a lot of the movie I was thinking about the thread I was gonna make about so you may enjoy it more than I did. Night/

Yeah the whole film I was expecting Odin to make a return but I think anthony hopkins couldn't really be bothered with this movie. We only see him in front of a green screen of a field in Norway. Even when he appears to Thor as a ghost he's still in this nondescript field which makes me think they shot all his scenes on one day with whatever scraps of budget were left over.

>sell movie as a hyper-colorful 80s arcadey throwback
>entire movie is desaturated ugly mess made by a television-tier director who's made exactly one okay movie that was saved because he didn't write it

Movie is gonna be out tomorrow for me so ill confirm if Op is lying or not

Nevermind, its showing today.

>The faggot brigade gets skewered

Sounds dope as fuck.

can you confirm that thor and hulk fight is better than hulk and hulkbuster fight

>they even managed to make Cate Blanchette look ugly
whaaaaaaaaat. how's that even possible

you give off a strange, homosexual autist vibe. no offense or anything, just your vibe.

i used to work security for new releases at theatres, they'd come out weeks to days before official release.

was really comfy though, would sit in the back and make sure nobody took pictures or recorded.

>"inspired" by chris hemsworth's body.
>thinks cate blanchett, tessa thompson, and several literal model actress minor characters are ugly

I don't know about autism, but he's definitely a homo.

That's not how it works...

>4 days = almost a full week
Americans, everyone

Today is Monday, a full work week is Monday to Friday. Friday ENDS a week, hence the word "weekend" in our vocabulary; therefore the film is yes, 4 days away...almost an entire week.

>Americans, everyone

where the fuck did you come from? planet assburgeris?

Its out in alot of places

this

lol how does what you said make any sense considering my own experiences of working for a security company who was hired to sit in the back of theatres, with night vision scopes, and make sure that nothing was videotaped.

this was for the studios themselves. they would give early screening passes for companies associated with the production or advertising included in the films and would have one or two screenings in certain theatres, wherein we would show up with a list of names, we would collect all electronic devices outside the doors, station 2-3 people outside, 2 inside, and would make sure people weren't being smart.

the studios would give out tickets to executives and company members from pepsi, google, sony, just to name a few.

it's exactly how it works. i won't say which film production company hired us though.

Except it isn't. Stop this meme.

How did you get to see it?

Did Sif die?

Its out where i live

how do you think these movie critics have already come out with reviews for it?

they get pre-official release screenings.

...

here

No, fuck it, she's ugly in this. I don't get the previous Sup Forums obsession with her in this role.

She doesn't even look like Cate. Ugly try-hard manufactured wifu, no thanks you

>She captures thor
uuuuuugggggghhhhhhh

Well there goes Blade Runner doing well in foreign markets

>hired to sit in the back of theatres, with night vision scopes
Lol did you have a falcon check too? That isn't a real job.

>all this larping

did i say it was a real job? i said it was comfy and i said i got to watch some films before their release date you dumb fuck.
hey they hired us, you think any security out there, even armed, apart from military can actually prevent something if it came to an altercation?

it's all a show to make people feel safer, to make sure their shit didn't get exposed to the general public and ruin the official release.