"Han Solo" is an alias. He was a street orphan from planet Corellia who is caught stealing cargo by Woody Harrelson's character, Beckett, a veteran smuggler. He's impressed by young Han's skill and takes him under his wing.
Han and Lando Calrissian are rival smugglers for the Lacard crime syndicate, smuggling spice and other materials past Imperial blockades through the Kessel field, which is very dangerous and filled with obstacles. Lando has a pristine, fully operational Millennium Falcon. Han and Beckett have a shitty ship called "Lightspeed Thunder" (Everyone calls it "Lightspeed Blunder").
Early on, Han and Beckett rescue Chewbacca, who's a prisoner of war, and he joins the crew. Ryn Lacard, their boss, is pissed because he wants to remain neutral on the Galactic Civil War.
Thandie Newton's character, Nyssa, is Lacard's power-hungry enforcer. She murders Ryn and plans to bomb an assembly between the leaders of the Lacard crime syndicate so she can seize power. She's also working with the Empire and captures Han and Beckett to frame them for the murders, but Han and Chewie escape and join forces with a reluctant Lando to rescue Beckett and stop Nyssa.
Emilia Clarke's character, Kira, is Beckett's estranged daughter whom Han calls for help. They have past history. She's a sort of intergalactic Robin Hood who steals from the Empire to help the oppressed people, but is not a rebel. Her crew includes Phoebe Waller-Bridge's Selu and Warwick Davis' Stick.
Paul Bettany's character, Cain, is a bounty hunter hired by Nyssa to hunt down the heroes. He was previously played by Michael K. Williams as a motion-capture alien, but was reworked as a human. He has his own unbeatable warship, called "Scourge of the Stars".
There's a minor subplot about a young Imperial officer played by Ian Kenny, S'aal, who forms a secret alliance with Nyssa so he can be credited for recruiting the Lacard crime syndicate to their side, even though Darth Vader hates mobsters.
The movie is very comedic. A running gag is that Han comes up with outlandish stories about himself and they all blow up in his face, like saying he dumped Kira when they actually never dated and she turned him down. The cause of the issues between the old directors and the studio is that there was so much of Han making an ass of himself that they felt it made the character too much of a joke. There's a heartfelt scene where he gives his in-universe reason for lying. Basically, abandonment issues.
Lots of callbacks, as expected. Han's blaster comes from Beckett, who also teaches him to "always shoot first" after being injured in a standoff with Caine. Kira is the one that says "don't get cocky, kid", and "never tell me the odds" is born from Han trying to make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs to reach the assembly in time while Cain is on their tail. Han also tells Lando that he has a "soft spot for princesses" due to Kira's idealism.
Han also crosses paths with Darth Vader during Chewbacca's rescue and hopes he'll never "see the guy again".
In the end, Beckett sacrifices himself to prevent the bombing, Nyssa and Cain are killed, S'aal is punished by Vader, the Lacard crime syndicate undone, the Thunder is destroyed and the Falcon heavily damaged in the Kessel Run. Kira parts with Han on good terms, but they don't even kiss. Nobody believes Han made the Kessel even though it's true.
Movie ends with Lando inviting Han to a small business venture in Bespin, but Han refuses, claiming the real money is with Jabba the Hut in Tattoine, where he'll have "peace and quiet for the rest of his life". Before Lando leaves, Han challenges him to a card game (the one in which he'll win the Falcon).
Elijah Robinson
Could there be any less hype for a Star Wars flick?
Justin Cooper
this sounds like starlord but with han solo
Kevin Morris
>Han also crosses paths with Darth Vader during Chewbacca's rescue and hopes he'll never "see the guy again"
CHEWIE TURN CRINGE UP TO 11
Nathaniel Martin
>Lots of callbacks, as expected. Han's blaster comes from Beckett, who also teaches him to "always shoot first" after being injured in a standoff with Caine. Kira is the one that says "don't get cocky, kid", and "never tell me the odds" is born from Han trying to make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs to reach the assembly in time while Cain is on their tail. Han also tells Lando that he has a "soft spot for princesses" due to Kira's idealism.
You had me for a while nigga but fuck you
Angel Robinson
>Emilia Clarke >sort of intergalactic Robin Hood who steals from the Empire to help the oppressed people My fucking sides holy shit, this movie is gonna be such a disaster I love it
Michael Barnes
How can there spoilers when they've thrown out the the script, improvised 90% of the movie, threw THAT out and started over in the editing room?
Let Ron Howard and Disney know the story while you're at it, they probably could use some help.
Kevin Garcia
>Emilia Clarke Oh god it just gets better and better This is going to fucking bomb
Kayden Torres
>Han Solo is an alias Dropped
Alexander Reed
>Nu-Star Wars >Prequel >Emilia Clarke >Literal-who actor for Han Solo >Emilia fucking Clarke >Acting coach hired for literal-who and Emilia Clarke >Director changed half way through >Rewrites It's gonna be 'The Room' tier and I'm gonna love every second of it.
John Reyes
Emilia Clarke will get raving reviews for her portrayal of a strong YOUNG woman who stands up against the white supremacist empire and fights for the weak. Yuuuuss! Slay!
Adam Morris
>last name is Solo >solo >Literally operates as a team with Chewie 90% of the time Was this a commentary on the duality of man? What did Lucas mean by this?
Juan Phillips
It'll clear a billion and you know it.
Isaiah Hernandez
It's Hans Olo, they just didn't want to make the joke that obvious
>There's a heartfelt scene where he gives his in-universe reason for lying. Basically, abandonment issues. It's canon that he abandons Leia once Ben starts sticking to Luke instead of his actual parents. This spoiler doesn't really work.
Jaxon Gutierrez
>I CLAPPED WHEN THEY SAID THE LINES
Gavin Lewis
>"Han Solo" is an alias
>Fans : "Nothing can possibly harm Star Wars more than the Prequels >Disney : "Hold my beer"
Benjamin Long
You came from reddit, and you need to go back. Fake news
Austin Watson
>Han became that which he hates.
Poetry.
Colton Diaz
Isn't that Jyn Erso's prototype??
Xavier Price
Jyn didn't want shit to do with anyone.
Austin Barnes
It's basically her GoT character as well without the genocidal psychopath part. Disney really know their audience
Jonathan Davis
>She's a sort of intergalactic Robin Hood who steals from the Empire to help the oppressed people, but is not a rebel >Not a rebel
So shes a rebel
William James
>r...reddit
Enjoy your shit movie faggot
Aaron Wright
He probably meant she is not part of the Rebel Alliance.
Lucas Morales
sounds good actually, I hope this is real
Benjamin Brown
>Emilia Clarke >Han Solo is an alias >Vader runs into Han Solo >Kessel Run is the fucking climax >Bespin mentioned at all
Josiah Sanchez
I thought Han joined the Imperial Academy on Corellia at some point.
Christopher Cooper
not anymore
Jaxon Bennett
Making everything Han said in the OT come from other people or previous incidents cheapens his character.
But I guess we gotta have those references.
Eli Bailey
Nah, it's his story. This is just corporate focus-group fanfic.
Logan Martinez
Considering said corporation controls the new canon, it isn't.
Leo Jones
This is Disneys star wars now little boy.
Jeremiah Perry
>Nah, it's his story.
Was it in the OT? No. Disney doesn't care about your gay little EU. It's time you realized that
Josiah Myers
Yeah, it's official canon. And it's awful garbage too.
Colton Russell
>appeal to authority fallacy So if a Saudi prince bought the StarWars IP and episode 10 was Muslim space niggers invading and genociding the entire galaxy that would just be the only real story, right? Fucking morons.
The cool thing about technology is that it will eventually de-centralize story telling, and the stranglehold of IPs by corporate retards who ruin IPs for normie-bux will finally stop.
Jonathan Johnson
>Lets put Darth Vader to achieve maximum APPLAUSE
Anthony Perry
>He was previously played by Michael K. Williams as a motion-capture alien, but was reworked as a human >Paul Bettany >Whitest cuck on earth as the villian
what did they mean by this?
Dylan Johnson
>Beckett sacrifices himself to prevent the bombing Holy fuck is this played out
Luke Fisher
Yes, it would. You would be legally prevented from acknowledging anything else as Star Wars so that would be the official Star Wars.
Gavin Young
>Yes, it would. No, retard. That's literally an appeal to authority fallacy. Keep sucking corporate fanfic cock.
>You would be legally prevented from acknowledging anything else as Star Wars Again, technology will de-centralize all story telling, allowing small groups or even individuals to make movies indistinguishable from those made today in appearance. The real prequels have yet to be made, as do the real ep VII+
Colton Turner
Uh, yes? The company that owns the franchise decides its future and the status of its canon. I never said it wasn't pure shit but going full denial and pretending Disney's shit doesn't exist is pretty stupid.
Easton Clark
>muh canon What makes Disney's stories more 'legitimate' than anybody else who feel like writing one? Other than the fact that they threw millions of $ at a franchise that they had no part in creating. It's a fictional world there is no 'true' version of events
Julian Cruz
You clearly don't understand how a corporate-owned franchise workd but whatever. Just close your eyes and cry "WAAH THE BAD MOVIE DOESN'T EXIST" if that makes you happy.
Robert Hughes
see you colossally stupid linear-thinking subhumans.
Nicholas Barnes
The fact that fans only recognize Disney's shit as canon and all future works will rely on their material and not "Harry Potter goes to the Star Wars universe".
Eli Long
I can't wait for TLJ to come out so I can be done giving a shit about Star Wars.
unless they do an Obi-Wan movie or a Sheev movie.
fuck.
Oliver Rivera
In 2077 Star Wars will be free to the public. Until then you can keep plugging your ears and crying.
Brandon Green
>Spoilers >I like the tuna here
Hudson Sanchez
>Let Ron Howard and Disney know the story while you're at it, they probably could use some help. it's funny cause it's true
Isaac Rivera
I don't give a shit what the fans think though, if they like Disney's garbage then whatever there's nothing I can do to stop that. But I also don't have to accept it as canon if I don't like it. Again the Star Wars universe doesn't exist, arguing about what actually happened and what didn't happen in there is a complete waste of time. I just accept the stories that I like, why should I give a shit about where they come from? If I decide I don't like Han Solo's backstory and ignore it are the Disney Thought Police gonna come to my house and force me to accept the 'truth'?
Jason Thomas
If you want an Expanded Universe then people need to know which other works they should respect and which they can ignore. This can only be achieved by having someone with the authority to decide what's canon and what isn't, otherwise we would only have a bunchs of fanfic with no consistency whatsoever. Also you are legally forced to consider any non-Disney material as a mere fanwork, if the creators of said fanwork tried to claim it's a legit part of the franchise they would get sued to Hell and back.
Jose Cook
You can have your headcanon if you want, just don't cry when future works completely ignore it.
Daniel Rivera
>>What did Lucas mean by this? >his character arc is to learn how to be part of a team >what do I call him it's fucking naomi mallone tier
Austin Hill
"let's get rid of the EU"
>Kira
Samuel Harris
Why not have an expanded universe where the 'canon' is determined by the quality of the writing rather than some authority deciding what's true and untrue? If somebody writes a better version of events then there's no reason why people shouldn't be allowed to accept that
Lucas Collins
>lets get rid of the eu so that we can pull from it at will without having to credit it's creators or pay anyone royalties disnee fucking shrewd as shit
Owen Scott
underrated post
Jordan Reed
because they own the thing you stupid fucking man child
Charles Barnes
>Nerfshit. No one likes the tuna here. Why don't you try Bundha Burger from now on? You can get yourself a fern potato and a pickled space worm for 2.95, poodoo!
Wyatt King
Still sounds better than what disney is shitting out
Ayden Johnson
Sounds okay.
Ian Phillips
i honestly wouldn't be surprised if this was real. jesus christ.
Joshua Hernandez
>No Boba Fett at all
DOUBT.exe
William Richardson
>"Lightspeed Blunder"
So we're going with prequel humor, then?
Julian Thomas
But Han Solo was at the Imperial Academy
Jose Moore
Spoiler alert: Han dies when hes older.
Cooper Long
Not anymore.
Owen Hernandez
It's a well documented fact in the Catholic faith that God is a Star Wars fan, and Disney will certainly burn in hell for everything they've done to rape the franchise.
Jacob Fisher
ffs parsecs are a distance unit not a time unit
Parker Sullivan
Well, it's an obstacle course.
Andrew White
somehow since it's vajayjay's star wars universe the movie will be about STRONK INDEPENET WOMYN even tho it's supposed to be literally about fukin han solo. I will not waste another shekel nor another second in this generation of STARcial justice WARriorS films and you fags shouldn't either
PS: sage
Dominic Sullivan
>Paul Bettany as a badass bounty hunter
Not sure if credible.
Wyatt James
>Scourge of the Stars You had me up til this
Zachary Diaz
I remember reading a book once about a young Han. I don't remember the name, or most of the plot. But I seem to remember that he was in the Imperial forces, and recused Chewie who was a slave. Because he had a female wookie who looked out for him when he was a kid or something. Also someone who he cared for died for him, and she belived in the force and made him promise that if he ever found something to believe in, he would. Or something like that.
Anyone know the book? Does this have anything to do with that at all?
Lucas James
Depends, there's two different Young Han series under the old canon (the 1980's Brian Daley and the late 1990's AC Crispin books) and the new EU stuff that I haven't read either but will likely be made non-canon by this movie.
Ryan Fisher
If true, This is terribly predictable and redundant!! Han should be a hard ass who doesn’t put up with any shit in this stage of his life! It would bring actual gravitas to the meeting with Luke and Obi-Wan in episode 4. We should be concerned that Han can’t be trusted with them!! A guy who shoots first and lives that way in every aspect of his life. I hope this is all bullshit..
Carter Anderson
b ... b...but guys i am good at movies and stuff d... don't you trust me to fix it?
Tyler Cox
Sounds like absolute fucking garbage.
Adam Gutierrez
>married to Jennifer Connelly >cuck
Colton Turner
I'm sorry I got kicked in the head recently, is Ron Howard actually involved in this?
Josiah Russell
>Kira pilots the ship >"this way sturdier than a dragon"
Jfc Disney. Fuck you
Austin Wood
he's directing. the lego movie guys got fired.
Xavier Cook
dayum
Benjamin Perry
> Muslim space niggers invading and genociding the entire galaxy
A man can dream
Asher Walker
That was "The Paradise Snare," from the 'Young Han Solo Trilogy.' It's a pretty good read, as was the sequel "The Hutt Gambit." The last one was a downer and not as good, but it ends with him taking off for the Corporate Sector leading into the old Brian Daley trilogy. The Disney movie is definitely gonna scotch all that.
Daniel Clark
>hmm what do I call this greedy bounty hunter? >I'll call him Greedo
Bravo, Lucas
Samuel Ortiz
Why are they making this?
Xavier Ramirez
>Kira is the one that says "don't get cocky, kid"
I was kinda okay with it til this bit. If that's true, it's another cam job for me. Just for the memes. I couldn't fkn stand the lines they gave this guppy in Terminator.
Tyler Garcia
okie dokie han
Brandon Richardson
sounds like sanford & son but with han solo
Owen Sullivan
This movie is such a fucking trainwreck. What's worrying is even if OP's lying, what we get might be WORSE.
Angel Morgan
>hmm what do I call this sleazebag? >Oh I know, Elan Sleazebaggano
Wyatt Lewis
Gotta milk all the most marketable aspects of Star Wars before people get sick of it. It's kinda like slash & burn farming.
Lincoln Hernandez
this is retarded enough to possibly be true
Jonathan Williams
Woody Harrelson is going to kill this movie. I eagerly look forward to seeing how he portrays his character. I have a feeling this movie is going to be better than the main saga. Rogue One already surpassed The Force Awakens as one of the best Star Wars films of the Disney era.