LOL

LOL

Lol so true.

why did this ever become a social category jesus fuck

Is this what a nice guy is?

It was a bit of a wake up call in regards to my approach, at least.

It's ironic because you can tell Randall Munroe probably genuinely feels this way on the inside.

He probably found himself doing this act and routine. I don't know what convinced us it was a good idea.

High school would've been a lot better had I realized how disingenuous it was.

I don't know when he met his cancer ridden girlfriend, but I'm sure it was at a stage in his life where he didn't have to do an absurd song and dance to get noticed. He worked at NASA, even at a shit position that has some pull.

Who is forcing this woman to date the guy?
Who the fuck settles on a friend unwillingly?
Couldn't they have maybe just changed what they want in a relationship? Maybe the dude changed their personality.
Fucking christ

>expecting xkcd to know how people work

A nice guy is this guy without the patience and tact.

They're vague acquaintances with someone for 6 months, go "oh, i'm so sorry about your jerk boyfriend!", and expect to be rewarded with sex.

No one is forcing anything. But it is being manipulative.

Plus, it is a hypothetical created by another hypothetical. It is just describing this mindset.

I'll admit, the comic isn't funny.

In any other context hanging around someone and comforting them after their breakups is a generally kind thing to do.

Presumably they would do the same for you, I've never been friends with someone like that and have it be so one sided.

How is being a bit of a doormat manipulative?

I don't know, I feel this comic has some merit it. I mean, I don't flip the fuck out when someone talks shit when someone isn't present, I've done it myself. It's when it becomes something they frequently do that they come off as shitty people.

I'm sure most guys have found themselves trying to Nice Guy themselves into some girl's heart. It's what the media has taught us, that you're friends with a girl for a long time and they date a few other guys and then you marry them.

Really, though, the meme misses the point. Sure, we're teaching guys that you can't friendzone yourself so hard that you end up in the girl's pants. But we should also be teaching them that 99.9% of what makes a relationship work is pure sexual attraction. If someone's not at least open to the idea of fucking you, they're not going to want to go out with you.

It's exactly like how guys have "can fuck" girls and "can't fuck" girls. Girls are just more selective and slower to change their minds.

This comic feels a bit pretentious, but I like the alt text.

Because it is doing it solely with the idea that you'll make them depend on you and fuck you.

It doesn't work, obviously, but I thought like that in high school. There's a big difference between a friendship where you act as a doormat with the expectation of sex or a relationship and a normal friendship between men and women.

Because you're not doing it out of kidness, you're doing it out of hopes they'll fuck you later while being too beta to actually ask them out.

I'm not so sure of that. My main view is that if you want a relationship, be honest and go for it and if it doesn't work, don't press the issue.

I know girls and guys who've have told me about how they suddenly are attracted to a friend of theirs when they weren't before.

i fucking hate this rhetoric almost as much as i hate guys that bitch about being in the friend zone.
it's weird when you become close friends with someone of the gender you're attracted to and you're not sure if you like them or not.
sometimes you'll try dating, sometimes it'll work, sometimes it won't.
it doesn't make either person an asshole.
this comic reads like a 19 year old trying way too hard to make up for his "friend zone" facebook posts from three years ago.

Doesn't this guy shit all over tinder and the like too? How does he expect relationships to start??
>one night stands are bad, but so is dating your friends.

Trying dating is fine. I've dated friends. That's how dating usually works.

It is just a matter of being dishonest in this comic, though.

> there is no middle point between sex and friendship

how about dating?

A magic fairy princess shows up one day to poof you together with your perfect match and you live happily ever after.

That's how it worked for me, at least.

He has never done that, no, I don't know where you got that impression.

Bit more of a grey area, I've been friends with people I've had crushes on, I'm not weird and treat them like any other person
I don't go into friendships like some machiavellian schemer.

This user is 100% right

Frick, really?
My bad, I could've sworn I saw a comic of his ragging on the online dating generation.
Must've been something else.

He doesn't like pickup artists, but that's the same thing as this, being manipulative and dishonest.

Nothing wrong with meeting up for a fuck.

What's his point? A lot of human behaviors seem petty and manipulative if you pretend that they're completely thought out and planned in advance. Reality, however, is usually less thought out, if at all.

I know that feeling user, there was this group of people when I was doing some post secondary schooling. Tried to be their friend and join their little clique but I got sick of how the focus of most conversations was just bitching. Apparently I dodged a bullet since they were seen as kind of a joke, and assholes to everyone else there.

His point is that this plan, A. Doesn't work and B. Isn't the moral high ground like some people believe it to be.

If that seems obvious to you, then great, you didn't need the comic. To me, it threw a harsh light on my behavior as a teen.

Eliminating this kind of thinking is what got me to just ask a girl on a date. Which lead to a proper relationship, as opposed to trailing an imagined one.

Where is anyone actually being dishonest?
Nobody on the fucking planet plans thinks out like op's image. He's acting like being a friend while harboring feelings is "dishonest."
Maybe you're just not a shitty person who thinks that your friends feelings are more important than your dick?

>other people are dumb and I'm smart because I masturbate myself to sleep every night over the fact I used to work for NASA

Maybe you never acted like this guy in the comic, but I did. I genuinely thought of shit like this and fantasized about making her love me by acting a certain way rather than just asking her.

You can be a good friend while harboring feelings. He's not attacking you.

I had friends who I could see myself dating, but it was an entirely different story to when I tried to be a girl's best friend just so she could fuck me.

Maybe you never were this shitty. I was. And I was convinced it was the right way.

...

>I've dated friends.
NORMIES GET OUT REEEEEE!

Okay, fine, one friend. Happy?

I'm glad people are finally shitting on betas.
Too many guys think being a beta faggot is going to get them a woman.
Being nice to a woman in the hopes that you'll build a relationship out of it is retarded, it's like being nice to a child so they'll share their candy with you.

That's a weird analogy, user.

Ehh, women are roughly comparable to children anyways.
Then again, this is Sup Forums.

holy shit that analogy
i wish i'd saved pictures of that fucking giraffe from oglaf.

So you're saying.... you're either gay or you want to fuck children?

i dunno mang, it kinda seems like he's implying it's bad to be friends with someone you're crushing on.

also, don't beat yourself up about being weird in high school. everyone is weird in high school. high schoolers aren't real people.

tfw i once texted a girl i liked saying "Haha, this is user's cousin and he really likes you!" because i wanted an out if things went south. i literally never talked to that girl after that.

I'm saying that if you're the kind of idiot that the comic in OP is making fun of then you need to realize that no one wants to be with a boring faggot that fawns over a woman.

What are you doing here /tlhg/? Go back to /trash/.

The thought process is significantly more innocent than he portrays.

>I like girl
>Too beta to confront or worried it could hurt the friendship
>I'll just stick to being friends and hope she makes the first move

No one goes in hoping to engineer dependencies and wait for a moment of weakness. Acting like it's the intention is disengenuous.

That said, I agree that nice guy behaviors are pathetic, including my own back in the day.

Well, I uhh.. used to want to get the girl a bit tipsy and get real close. She liked getting massages from me, so...

Uhh. Yeah. Not so innocent.

She threw up in my bed.

So don't be nice to women?

what does what you just said have to do with your analogy being shitty?

Don't be nice to anyone.
Your emotions should range from complete disregard to abject disdain.

user, you might be a rapist.

* don't be nice to people just to fuck them.

Imagine having a friend that hangs out with you while thinking "yeah, today is the day I'll get user to suck my dick. Definitely today."

>Imagine having a friend that hangs out with you while thinking "yeah, today is the day I'll get user to suck my dick. Definitely today."
I'd tell him that I'm not gay or into him because I'm not a coward?

>Imagine having a friend that hangs out with you while thinking "yeah, today is the day I'll get user to suck my dick. Definitely today."
that sounds rad.

Again, you're assuming that women are men.
They are not.
They don't think like men.
They don't behave like men.
Think of them as overgrown children.
Kind of like manchildren except even more coddled.

We didn't get anywhere. I wasn't in my room when she threw up.

I was in the whole "well, if we're both drunk, it is different" mindset, which uh... is obviously rape. I don't have much to say for myself.

There's shades of gray here that you're not giving credit to. For example,

>Beta A is worried that confessing would ruin his friendship with the female, so he just stays friends and waits for her to make a move
>Beta B has no interest in real friendship and just wants poon, but is too beta to outright say it, so he acts friendly in order to play the long game

The two betas have completely different premises, but effectively have the same ideal end game and probably take similar actions. But beta A is categorically less despicable than beta B since he has relatively pure intentions, even if they're both equally pathetic.

how old are you?
i'm actually curious to know how long you've been able to keep this mindset.

Go away, /r9k/

The fundamental flaw in your argument is assuming that men act like men. You're not denigrating women, you're elevating men.

The truth is, if you really had a friend who was constantly lusting after your anus, you'd never be able to stay friends with them. You'd tell them off once, but they'd never REALLY give up. And over time, you'd get really tired of all of your gay friends constantly trying to get into your pants.

The truth is, a lot of men really are that bad to be around. Not most men. But there are a lot of men. Even 0.001% of men can ruin it for the rest of us by being unsubtle retards who can't take a hint.

Also, food for thought. Normie men are pretty much shit, as are all normies. That includes normie women. The only time you find decent men is when you start digging. They're not easy to find, because they shun mainstream society. You have to look hard to find them. So why do you expect to easily find the good women?

Clearly your problem was you type like a faggot, son.

t. Beta

t. notanargument

t. Molymeme

>go away /r9k/
>start dropping "normie" like it's going out of style

>Go away, /r9k/

>Normie men are pretty much shit, as are all normies.
Somethin' don't add up here.

Shhh, you have to let people who are in denial gently come to realize it, else you might break them.

Well, the trick is not to get them drunk enough to be sick, but enough to be pliable.

Once she gets a bit woozy, all you have to do is not sperg out, be confident and start kissing her. If she flips her shit, it's not gonna happen. If she gets into it, then go ahead, she probably had the hots for you anyway.

c'mon man, your post had some promise before you used the n word.

This is trash advice when talking about a friend.
>enough to be pliable
sounds super goddamn rapey.

But more importantly, if you're friends with her and you try this, she's going to know what you were doing the next morning and be fucking disgusted.
You drink with friends because you trust them to be cool, not so you can trick them into sex.

Unless you're both drinking and it's clearly mutual, that's a bit better, because then you can feel awkward together and laugh it off.

...

>normie
>normalfag
>normal person
They all mean the same damn thing, you autists.

>autists

come on dude, you almost had a point there for a second

If you're going far enough to use autist, you should know fucking "normie" is going to have the opposite effect you want if you're making a point. Especially against /r9k/

this is like solid bait. i actually like the artistic direction here.

Holy shit, why are you people so obsessed with terminology? It's like I'm surrounded by retards who can't actually read.

You understand that reading consists of more than looking at each individual word, right? What are you even arguing against? You know that I'm right. You're just nitpicking about semantics because Sup Forums is obsessed with arguing with each other even when they agree.

>Sup Forums
You're on Sup Forums, fuckwit.
Go back to Sup Forums and shitpost there all you like.

>Sup Forums
every post man.
you're doing JUST enough to come off as fake.
8/10.

Ever since my family found out my father, who is fat, graying, and has the mental patience of a child, was having an affair with this toad of a woman on Facebook, I've been looking at myself with a cynical perspective. I see so much of him in me, and that doesn't bold well for my prospect of finding someone. The revelation happened over 2 years ago and they are still together because they have no choice, they require each other for money and because they have no where else to go or turn too. It's pathetic. Everything about them is pathetic.

I manipulate in my life, I can see when acting genuine can be beneficial to me. I can't not see peoples actions as having value to themselves, that they do and say things not because of some abstract idea of goodness, but because it will benefit them personally. Manipulation is a means to an end, and I don't see anyone as being really genuine. At the end of the day, I see people who do good things because they have their needs taken care of, but when those needs are taken away, they become overtly selfish and mean. Everyday interaction for me is fundamentally a show.

And because of this I never developed a sense, an idea. a feeling on what it means to be normal, to have a cliche with people or with a woman and just love someone. I've never tried what the comic portrays, because I've always been fat, anti social, and just weird to people, so that initial attraction and confidence to be manipulative in a relationship never occurred.

I'm a virgin, kissless, hugless really, and rarely touched anyone not a family member. I know I'm starving for attention, love, physical coupling, but I also know I'll never achieve them like how normal people do because of what I am. The weight of the inevitability of it all is crushing, especially at night when I'm drunk on no sleep.

The solution, of course, is paying a prostitute to get it over with and move on. Still trying to get a job to afford a night.

I didn't say jack shit about you being wrong. I'm just questioning why you call someone /r9k/ then throw normie around.

Calm down.

baited ;^)

But seriously, stop being so obsessed with semantics. It's really annoying when you make a legitimate point only for people to completely ignore it. I know that it's "board culture" or whatever to shitpost, but at this point the boards themselves are meaningless, because nobody even bothers to seriously discuss topics.

You know most people aren't going to stop, if you're wanting to make a point someone will listen to, take a bit more time to not sound like a jackass. It's easier than beating your head against a wall over some stupid little shit like word choice.

Alternatively, stop trying to preach and take this place a little less seriously if you're going to do this song and dance over someone picking out a word.

>Still trying to get a job to afford a night.
If you don't even have a job, girls are the least of your worries. You're like a negative 5. You can't quality to be in a human relationship unless you're at the very least a human being.

Agreed. The value of a human being flows from the ability to have a life and sustain ones self. I explained why even when that wasn't an issues, as a child and as a teen, being normal wasn't an option for me.

I really enjoyed xkcd as a college Freshman. It's not for everyone but I feel like some of the more adamant haters don't pick up on Randal's sense of irony.

It makes perfect sense for a college freshman to enjoy it, because they have not yet experienced the real world.

Are "Nice Guys" even a thing anymore? I thought they all evolved into guys who think every woman is a sinister creature that breath fire and has a fanged vagina.

I'm saying that even thinking about these sorts of topics is too high-level for you. You are fundamentally lacking in the humanity necessary to properly explore these concepts.

It's like trying to develop a mathematical theorem without knowing math. Sure, technically it's possible, and no prior math knowledge is required to do so. But you don't understand the conventions, you don't know whether the theorem is useful or not, you don't know how to properly format a math paper, and you don't know how to communicate the theorem in a way which others can understand.

Maybe I should rephrase. Everybody feels like you. That's how existential angst works. But unlike you, everybody has allowed themselves to partake in society. You haven't even made that step. You can only even begin to speculate on society once you have become a part of it. Once you recognize that life is strange and unfair, you must throw yourself into it. Everybody else already has.

Read some absurdist literature. It will do you good.

Yes, xkcd pokes fun at a lack of life experience and a disinclination to be a normie all the time.

...

But there wasn't anything about what he said? Why can't romance come from friendship again?

Using "normie" isn't a defining feature of /r9k/.

I work with my dad at a summer job with 2 other old guys, ages 60+, working 13 hours straight every week under conditions that are unfair for us. So I know what manual labor is like. This is the extent of my experiences in the real world. Everything else has been sheltered.

I agree with everything you have said. The pain of going to bed every night and feeling this hole in my heart is unbearable at times, and being around people who make up and jump on each other is equally hurtful. I'm not using this pain as an excuse to lash out or make people like me, anymore than I never used my mental disabilities as a crutch.

This is what a nice guy thinks he is.

Really it's pic related and won't do jack shit to improve himself because he'd rather sit around crying that no one wants to touch is peepee.

This is objectively the best xkcd and it's not even the real thing.

>tfw I probably came off as a beta to my female friends in high school but I was really just gay
Sorry Tracy and Maria

What if you actually care for her, but you know that telling her that would just ruin things? I've been friends with a girl for about 5 years now, and I've developed a very strong affection for her, platonically and romantically. I haven't been paling around her this long because I want a quick bang, I genuinely have these feelings for her, but I know for certain she doesn't feel the same. The issue is, she cares for me very deeply as well, but strictly as a friend. I'm her closest confidant, we spend more time with each other than any of our other friends, the whole deal for five years. When I stay awake late into the night listening to her problems, I'm not doing it do manipulate her into liking me, I really do care for her. If I were to tell her how I feel, I know for certain she'd say no and my closest relationship I have with someone I'm not related too is basically forfeit, and for what gain? Honestly, the big dilemma is that I'm pretty satisfied with what we have now, in a lot of ways. We hang out one on one a lot, are each others closest friend, we're very intimate and candid with each other, have lots of fun when we hang out...the only thing that a relationship could add to that is that special next layer of intimacy, which of course I want more than anything, but I know it's out of reach! Am I really a manipulative charlatan for not wanting to squander this, and just hold onto a vain hope that maybe she'll someday reciprocate?

If she's really your friend, then there won't be a problem if you ask her out. If your entire, deep friendship would be ruined by you asking her out, you aren't very good friends in the first place. Stop being delusional, because either you or she doesn't value your friendship as much as you think. And, that being the case, there's no reason not to ask her out, since you aren't very good friends.

Alternatively, you could forget about her (because you're apparently not even very good friends in the first place) and find a girl who'll actually appreciate you the way you appreciate her, especially since obsession isn't healthy.

This is copypasta and I totally fell for it, didn't I?

I never realized what a turn-off improper use of headwear is.

>date an ugly fat girl who doesn't have a lot of options
>because they're ugly and fat they've had to develop an actual personality instead of coasting through life as some dumb broad that thinks they have it bad when they have it the best out of anyone
>help them through their issues and work out with them, and keep at it, make sure to lay the shit on the table and express that you want to help them get hot for both of your sakes
>wait it out for like a year
>now you have, at the very least, a thicc gf who is loyal to you, has a personality you can actually enjoy, doesn't have an ego the size of mars, and who will most likely do a bunch of your chores out of gratitude/feeling of indebtment
>worst case scenario she stays an uggo out of self pity and you dump her and try again with someone else, best case scenario you have the best option for wife material when it comes to western women

And that is how it's done

t. Fat ugly woman

Fat girls always have the absolute worst personalities, though. 9/10 of the incidents I have to deal with at work involving two or more women are instigated by a porker.