Can I watch the new bladerunner tonight without ever seeing the orig'?

Can I watch the new bladerunner tonight without ever seeing the orig'?

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youtube.com/watch?v=pVOv5eK4c1o
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Yes.

>'e took 'is mask off, right.. turns out.. li'l monkey fella

something to see innit

Got the pasta?

yer a big fello

theres a karl pilkinton bane pasta?

They said, get this, right. They said, I couldn't bring any friends.

I wish I could find it. It a 2-part pasta based on a Ricky Gervais Show style chat.

There is a whole RGS ficticional conversation about the scene. 2 parts. I was in the OG thread. Pure Kino.

Can you remember any key words that'll make it easy to find on the archive?

Bane?

Thanks

Say, you ever been on this internet thing?

I heard one time that there was this guy, on - on the internet and all he did - all he did all day - was post, constantly, about how we was a 'big guy'. A 'big guy'.

He'd post about this day in, day out, and if anyone ever told him to stop, he say 'get this hothead outta here!'. And so - so he's posting away, just posting and posting and some other guy - some other internet guy - asks him 'If I pull that off, would you die?' and this - the first guy, the big guy - says 'it would be extremely painful' but he doesn't mean for him - he means for the other guy!

He just says it'll be extremely painful for this other guy! I mean this guy was a real jerk.

>tfw karl made his money and retired happily with susanne
Did he get his happy ending after years of torment by Gervais?

tfw there will never, ever be a reunion podcast ;_;

This?
>Karl Pilkington: Apparently... right... there's this channel on the internet.
>Ricky Gervais: I think you misunderstood something.
>Karl Pilkington: No, really, it's, there's a channel 4 on the internet. They have kids, and television, and animals.
>Ricky Gervais: Is this a monkey news? Should we play the-- play the intro, do it.

>>Ooooh, Chimpanzee That! He's written it down!

>Karl Pilkington: Alright? They show this bloke, from the Batman films, and he's knockin' about on a plane... and they say he's a big guy. I think he sounds like... he sounds like the guy who played James Bond.
>Stephen Merchant: Of course.
>Karl Pilkington: Now I wouldn't say he's a big guy, I'm probably... I would say I'm probably the same size as him.
>Ricky Gervais: Do you have any idea what he's talking about?
>Stephen Merchant: I've no idea what he's on about. A plane in the Batman film? Do you mean the third one, with Tom Hardy?
>Karl Pilkington: Yeah, he's got a mask on, and he's--
>Ricky Gervais: Karl, what the fuck are you on about, there's a channel on the internet that shows Tom Hardy on the plane in Batman over and over?
>Stephen Merchant: That's a good movie.
>Ricky Gervais: I thought it was shit.
>Karl Pilkington: They say he's a big guy. And then it's, for you.
>Stephen Merchant: What?
>Karl Pilkington: For... for you.
>Ricky Gervais: Don't talk shit, Karl. I swear to god that was the most useless waste of time we've ever had on this show.

Not this one.

>still thinks Sussane is real

youtube.com/watch?v=pVOv5eK4c1o

Yeah its fine.

Not the one I remember but heres one:

>so i pull out me gun and yell to them, i says, i says
>"hey lads, you better speak up or you're out!"
>and so i have one of them dragged over to the door, right, and he's halfway out, and i ask him about this basket man, innit?
>but apparently, he's got a lotta loyalty, so what am i to do? throw him out? i might not be the best agent, but i know there's got to be a rule somewhere says i can't do that
>so i haul 'im in, alright
>next one, still nuffn
>then the other one says, with some weird breathin' tube soundin' thing you know? a respatator or sumfin? he says
>"oi, maybe if you didn't pretend to throw people out of planes they would tell you wha' you want"
>i pull of the bag of his 'ead, he's got straight up tubes, on his face, and he's bald so at least we had somethin' in common
>so i ask him
>"if i take that off ya would you die?"
>he goes "it would hurt a lot mate"
>and i says
>"you're a pretty large bloke, mate"
>and then he says
>"maybe for you, but me misses don't think so, that's why she gone and broke up with me, Dr. Pavel's real hung"
>alright, that's a shame, innit? but that's as far as me memory goes, 'parently the plane crashed afterwards, they thought there were no survivors, but here i am, innit?

Do what I did and torrent/watch it for the first time just before going to see the new one. The director's cut isn't even 2 hours long. For max effect watch the blackout anime short in between the two

"A'right, so there was this truck"

"A Truck?"

"Yeah, in the desert, someone in it with a bag o'er their head, couple of other guys in there. Not me this time."

"WHICH desert."

"It might not've been a desert, there were mountains and grass not long after."

"What?"

"Look, they bring him out of the truck over to the plane, and there's this fella standing there right, like he's not got a belt on...but he has got a belt on."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN!!!"

"Just listen! ‘E says, ‘e says ‘I’m CIA’."

"You mean he was with the CIA."

"No, no, he just says CIA."

"He’s the entire CIA?"

"No he…, look they say…uhh…look, we were to give you this doctor…"

"‘What Doctor?"

"HE was the main one they were bringing, but they brought the ones with bags as extra."

"Extra Doctors? And there’s two with bags now?"

"No! One ‘ems easy to forget. Look, CIA…"

"His given name."

"Yeah, CIA says…look, don’t know what you’re playin’ at here…can’t be bringing mates. But they say they work for this kind of gangster guy, called Blaine. And CIA says…right, we’ll take ‘im."

"Ok, I’ll stop you there. If they lift up the hoods, and it’s a monkey, or any kind of primate, we are NEVER doing this feature again."

“No, no listen. They get in the air, and CIA’s like, carrying on trying to get them to talk about the gangster.”

“While on the plane?”

“He says…where they’re going…they’re expecting one less than there is.”

“What do you MEAN Karl?”

“Like, what he’s saying is he’ll throw one out.”

“Of the plane?”

“Yeah, and like, he opens the door, and he pulls one over and like, shoots out the window next to his head.”

“‘Shoots him you mean.”

“No. He only pretends. And pretends to throw ‘im out. And CIA says… oh, he didn’t fly so good.”

“No, he didn’t.”

“Yes, he did.”

“No he didn’t. that’s not grammatically correct, you messed it up in your weird little Manc head.”

“Listen. And the other one, with the bag on their head, ‘e says…he says, well you wouldn’t shoot someone, would ya? if you were just going to chuck ‘em away anyway. And CIA walks over, takes off his mask, and its Blaine, and he’s got this like, metal spider thing, covering his mouth.”

“Oh CMON!”

“No, he does. It sort of looks like…did you ever open up a washing machine, and its all small pipes all close together. It was all that…but in face form.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“And CIA says…he says…if I take that off, would you be alright, or is it like a medicine thing. Would you die, basically, is what he was asking.”

*Sigh* All right, and what did he say.”

“He said it would hurt a lot and that.”

“Right.”

"So CIA is like, well you're a large fella, aren't ya? but here's the thing right, then Blaine says..."

"Go on Karl"

“For you.”

“What.”

“It would hurt a lot…for you.”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN! WHY DID HE TALK ABOUT HOW TALL HE WAS?!”

“No no you've got to understand cos see its just ‘cause it’s me sayin’ it. If you saw that in a film, like, a film from that one who made Inception or what have ya, you’d think it was brilliant.”

“He wouldn’t PUT THAT in his films! He’s not that stupid!”

THIS ONE.

copy and paste it friend it's your burden now

God fucking

>as baine leaves with doctor pabble, the plane falls to the ground. just keeps falling...
>CIA wakes up from his coma
>as the plane falls he jumps out
>and you know, when you jump out fast enough it sorta cancels out the fall innit?
>so he jumps out, catches a tree branch
>turns out, he was lil' monkey fella

He's doing a new sitcom next year. Susanne must want a new boiler.

THANKYOU!

>using Karl's Diary theme for Monkey News
m8

see

Nah, my bud from work said "Man i wanted that old cunt to die"