Here alone again user? You should watch a movie with your girlfriend haha. A handsome man like you surely has one!

Here alone again user? You should watch a movie with your girlfriend haha. A handsome man like you surely has one!

...

I’d lie before admit I don’t have a girlfriend.

There's nothing wrong with not having a girlfriend

Just give me my popcorn, nigger

Tyrone, a-a-are you flirting with me? N-not that I mind I'd anything...

But that's what you're here for, Robert. Take good care of her while I watch Bladerunner again.

How new are you?

That's fine I'm here for the new Blade Runner movie

What's up with the new positive customer service bantz, Black Robert? Did that comment card about you asking for tips get to your GM's desk?

Now comp me some Junior Mints you fucking nigger.

>>/out/

Leave Robert alone

>Hahaha yeah of course I do she's jsut in the bathroom right now!

Robert do you think we could bypass the whole penis inspection thing? it's been a rough day, you know I'm a generous tipper

Kinoplex Diary
The air carried the oily vapor from the leaking butter crevasses shinning like a sea of dying stars in the light of our headlamps. The usual virgin walk of the newer boys became crawls as they moved around the mine; I would have laughed like the veterans did but knew that it would have been me on the ground too if it had not been my 183rd day down there. I already paid my dues the countless times when I fell on my ass in the early days in spots that were much more matte than what we were on that day. It was all second nature to me now, eventually I could have tap danced on the butter down there if I had someone to do it with.
Those laughs died just as soon as they started. Natural butter leaks meant only one thing: summer was there, the awful days as I'd heard. Popcorn production doubled in the summer to meet the demand for the hundreds of thousands of normies from all over the spectrum who had to watch the latest blockbuster flicks. We had to feed the free high school and college kids, the work friends, the families, everyone but the people like us. Getting that shit isn’t like getting the peanuts they serve at baseball games, it doesn’t grow on trees. But the grueling months of hard work that would break our bodies down to stiff mush after each shift was not what made us glance through the still darkness toward the elevator doors. I could feel it too even though it was my first summer, I couldn’t tell if I was sweating or if butter residue was melting on face and my intestines felt like they were being squeezed by someone with way more than just two hands.
“If it be summer and you can tell if yer shit’ll be a log or gravy, lumpy or smooth, and your face feels like a projector bulb after Lawrence of Arabia then you’re damn sure you’ve got The Dread, boy.”

help

That's what the 72 year-old virgin who has been in the mine since his 19th birthday told me a few weeks before all of this. Back then the manlet cut-off was only 5’4” and you could be a virgin as long as you had not been single for at least three months before your visit to the kinoplex. We all knew that the Chads were coming today.
“Sorry, but I must ask what is going on here?” said a concerned familiar voice that broke through the tense silence.
There he stood, just a few yards from me, his face illuminated by the headlights of the miners who turned toward the sound of his voice. He wore that familiar smile even on what seemed to be his sterner self, bright and welcoming, a smile that said “Enjoy the movie. Please come again”. It was Robert.
“Sirs, I cannot go back up there and tell my superiors that you are not doing your very best here. Must I remind you that popcorn outputting must double from summer solstice to autumnal equinox?” he continued.
“Hey, Rob!” I couldn’t help exclaiming through the silence of the others. “Robert! It’s me!”

The other guys scattered for their tools and started their search for kernel pods. I stood there, frozen.
“Rob, what are you doing down here?”
He looked almost vexed but kept his smile. Somehow it was still just as genuine.
“Sir, I must continue my inspection of this section of our mine,” he said peering over his crescent lenses as he scribbled into an opened binder thick with paper.
“Employees of the kinoplex socializing with the . . . undesired is strongly prohibitted. Now please, sir, can you go do your work now and allow me to do mine?”
I slung my pickaxe and shovel unto my shoulder with one hand and carried my toolbox in the other.
“Fine, Rob. I’m gonna go now but can you throw a couple of crab legs down ol’ user’s way when you get back up there?”
He stopped a burst of laughter as I let mine out while I trailed behind the crawling newbies through the thickening haze of butter mist.
The sharp echo of a nauseating scream traveled through the tunnels of the mine while I made my way to my group. This was not the scream of a man whose face fell into a rusty rogue anvil or whose toe web slid down the adze of his pickaxe, those were painful. This was agony. I rubbed my soles in dry rock granule, secured my tools and jogged toward the ghastly sound. The tools on my shoulder slammed down on my bones after each leap forward as the ones in the box clinked to the pumping of the heart under my shirt begging me to do a 360 and walk away from the strange sounds of pain ahead but I could not stop. If I could not see kinos on a screen then I must see them in real life when such rare opportunities present themselves.

As I jogged a yellow radiance grew in the distance ahead of me quickly revealing itself as a ball of light violently shaking just above the ground as it got closer and finally showed the shape of the newbie crawling like a spider from the sole of a boot. I stopped and waited for him to come to me.
“Hey, you! What's going on up there?!” I wheezed out, my lungs heavy with oil. With an absent glance and opened mouth as his answer, he moved the air around him as he continued his frenzied gallop toward safety his toes curling against the cold sharp ground shinning with the crimson blood of another.
“Fuck you!” I shouted toward the fading light. Against the tug of my pleading heart I continued my trip toward the groans.
A faint smell of salty ocean air became grew stronger with each step toward the sound guiding me through the mine's corridors until finally when it affirmed its presence I heard a pack of the boys in an isolated pocket adjacent to the main vein of the mine, a dead end. The screams stopped as I stepped into the cave, no one turned around. The room was filled with the men's sounds of fear and cursing some pacing back and forth with their hands on their heads. Otismo – the unironic autist – squatting pressed his closed palms against his ears rocking rapidly in a corner. I moved through the small crowd of men toward the end of the tunnel to see what drew such vivid horror on their faces and there they laid, the source of all the blood that painted the ground around him and the one that caused his demise.

His innards spilled out of the angular gash that cut across his abdomen through his white shirt like red noodles spilling from the side of a bowl. His denim Kinomine overalls stayed loosely above his waist line barely covering his junk. The lines from his agony stayed etched on his face with his eyes and mouth wide opened. Just a few feet from him was a near-Kafkaesque crab its opened claws red with blood and a pickaxe planted through its carapace into the ground.
“Excuse me. I'm a doctor,” announced Doc as he pushed through the crowd.
“Let me see what's going on here.” He raised the man's right arm above his face and pressed his index and middle finger on the grooves below his palm.
“He's dead,” Doc announced.
“No shit he's dead, Doc,” Paul said with a smug smirk behind a shadow.
“What thought your friend was gonna live through a crab snip? Jesus aren't you supposed to be high-IQ, Doc?” he continued.
“He is not my friend. Secondly, I do not see anyone else doing anything about
so I thought I should at least do something,” Doc replied facing him. Paul jumped out of the shadow enraged.
“Listen here you fucking Muslim Packi,” he clenched his hand around the doctor's neck making the bold swastika on his forearm pulse as he squeeze tightened.
“Why don't you get the fuck back to your country's kinoplex mines? I'm an American and I could kill you right now, got it?”
“Y-Yes!” Doc croaked. With one last squeeze Paul let him go and went back into the shadow.
“Okay! Enough of this testosterone-fueled feuding. Are we gonna like figure this out now or nah? I'm still freaking out!” lisped Tom. He's right, I thought.

kek

Well ugh...you see Robert. I'm not actually really into girls.
Umm but thanks for the compliment. You got such a nice smile. I always love coming here and seeing you.

>A handsome man like you
you think im handsome Tyrone?
maybe you can pound my boypussy ;) white sissies like me were made for BBC

Back the fuck off okay!? I already told you i'm not gay I just have a sweat gland problem.

Also someone stole the poop scissors from the bathroom again.

His names Robert newfag

>no, I dont have a girlfriend, would you like to have hot gay nigger sex?

Robert... Will you watch blade runner with me?

Speaking of which, Rob, what are you doing after your shift? My bull called in sick

don't do the crime if you can't handle the mine

watch it sir!!

...

Robert you look....different. You been working out?

Robert can you dunk?

Why are you such an asshole to a great kinoplex employee :/

Oh how I'm glad to see you, Robert. I had a horrible nightmare where you slipped on the floor, hit your head and, well... died...

I missed Robert.

>oh btw that'll be $52 for a small popcorn and medium soda

Don't patronize me, Rob.

PLEASE

FUCK MY WIFE

Tyrone is a typical meme name for a black male you retarded faggot
>>>>>>>>>>reddit

R-Robert, I was w-wondering if you would go on a date with me, I think we would really hit it off...

Back from the movie so soon sir! You caught me a bit off guard!
The missus is all worn out, we had a fun night
She's so energetic, it's a shame you didn't take her to watch BR 2049 with you again,haha. We left a bit of a mess on your bed, I hope you don't mind. Anyway you know the cost of my services,as always its $499.99 for one night of entertainment.

*Forks over $100*
Keep the change, my sweet Robert

Hey, Robert. Nah, no girlfriend yet... Say, are you free Saturday? I got a few new Criterion Collection films shipped in and need someone to watch them with, haha! :)

...

>no she's in the bathroom in canada
>yes she'll be a while
>one popcorn please

B-but you died !

...

It's Robert, miss, please don't fetishise me.

miss? now you're getting into it aren't ya big guy ;)

Sorry user, but I can't let you in. In order to lower the chances of a theater shooting, we are required to look at your facebook profile and only allow you in if you have 500 friends or more.

Fpbp

I have 775 friends, let me by

Will you be my friend, Robert?

I don’t have Facebook

this is discrimination robert, how did you foreapes feel when this happened to them?
this can't be happening

...

Memorize what redirects look like before trying so hard, retard.

the ticket master was great

I'll be wiring the money to your account within the hour friend. By the way, my daughter's 18th is coming up in a few weeks...

Hey Robert you're not getting paid 5 bux an hour to do psycho analysis alright just fill up the fucking tub.

We're going to need you to leave immediately.

Why is Moot working at the Kinoplex?

Robert would never do that.

Robert is friend of all of us.

I dont get why we think he would fuck our gfs and wives. Get this through your heads, newfaggots, ROBERT WOULD NEVER DO THAT.

Have we gotten him out of the popcorn mines? Is robert alive?

Dude you better take seriously. Lane is a fucking beast when she is let off her chain. Straight fuck a bitch up.

crab legs. on the double.

>h-ha yeah gf sure

You can't sweep me under the rug, Robert. In 2005, you exposed your penis to me in the projection room of theatre 15 and masturbated into a bucket of crab legs. You then fired me as retaliation. I'm working with Gloria Allred on the HuffPo expose as you read this. #MeToo.

These allegations have finally gone too far.

Not true Robert. I take my wife's kid with me sometimes and diddle him in the popcorn mines. You videotaped it one time, don't you remember?

>believing this whore
I can tell 100% right off the bat that its a fake nothingburger. Purely because robert would NEVER EVER waste a bucket of crablegs like that in thetre.

...

How new are you?

Robert is straight, and if he was gay he could pull way better than a mouthbreather from Sup Forums.

I like that someone made a whole story around this and no one's even batting an eye

fuck off newfag

Roberto no está aquí gringo ¿Qué deseas?

GLOBAL RULE #3

No racism outside of Sup Forums

Enjoy your vacation you fucking n-word

>Here are your fresh crablegs sir, I catched them by hand.

>idiot falls for double bait
how new are you faggot?

>the matinee, again? don't you have a job?

/thread

get me my fucking crab's leg's nigger, and they better be extra milky

>Oh, the new theater shooter has finally arrived

i...i work nights

construir la pared, pedro

>nothingburger

Coming on a little strong, Rob. Feeling frisky today?

>newfag
>haha it was just bait xd

jfc

>taking anger out on Robert and not the establishment that molded him
When a machine fails do we blame a faultless cog or the machine itself?
Learn to Kinoplex post fag

fuck you, I've been around since before this dude was a meme, and I'm probably older than you
you don't like my phrasing or the fact I'm pointing it out?
EPIC MEME BRO

t. newfag

Oh F off.

sorry

Sorry too.

How the fuck would he know you came alone? Does he also work the ticket booth?
Even then, you could be meeting someone there.
Is he the real negrodamus?

sorry for what?

newfag

trips confirms

...

I want Lane to sit on me